Disclaimer: I do not own RK.

Notes: This is a Battousai/Kaoru fic. R rated for violence and sexual references (no, this is NOT a lemon). This is an AU fic (it takes place during the meiji restoration, but I change the relative ages and situations of many characters, henceforth making it AU). My current computer runs on a Dutch language operating system, so there is no spell-check for english (and my dutch sucks so I can't read the directions well enough to try installing one without breaking something). I've proofread this but I can't catch everything, so please be forgiving if there are spelling/grammatical errors.

Chapter 3

Kaoru stared back at me, terrified. The blade of my sword reflected off her shining eyes as I slowly slid it out of the sheath. Please, deny you know anything. Don't force me to obey Katsura. You don't deserve to die.

"Um..." Kaoru's eyes brimmed with tears as she watched my katana, breathless. I slowly lifted it above my head, turning it slightly so I could make a clean blow. Speak... don't make me do this! Seconds lasted for eternity as I stood before her, preparing to do what I should have done the previous night.

"He's um- a really, really strong swordsman!" panicked Kaoru, "A-and- and no one knows who he really is, just that he's really, really strong and really good at killing!" My eyes stared back into hers, amber and intense, for a single instant before I gently lowered my blade. I slid it slowly back into its sheath, then turned away.

"That's right..." I murmured.

"You were really going to kill me," murmured Kaoru, her face slick with tears.

"You're afraid of me now," I realized. Kaoru said nothing, only looked away.

"You're right to be afraid." And I was wrong to think I could fool someone pure as you into trusting an assasin.

-----

I slept uneasily that night, and Kaoru unwillingly. She tore at the pages of her diary with her pen until her eyelids shut and her frenzy ended.

I opened my eyes the next morning to find Kaoru sleeping in disarray, leaning on her diary instead of her pillow. Her mouth lay open with a trickle of drool running down her chin to a moist spot on the futon. Sleeping beauty indeed. My yukata was too big for her, and fell lazily open around her chest, exposing more of her midrift than she likely wished me to see. Her hair lay mussed about, wild and tangled around the futon.

I ate a quick breakfast before Iizuka managed to drag himself into the dining hall, then snatched some extra food to bring back to Kaoru. A mouse- possibly even the same one from the day before- flittered around my feet as I carried the food down the hall toward my room, and I affectionately dropped a few grains of rice on the ground for him.

Kaoru stirred as I set breakfast beside her, and my eyes wandered along her form for a brief moment before I snapped my head away. I'm just as bad as Ichiro, I swear... Kaoru quickly snatched at the front of the yukata, holding it together and blushing just a bit.

"Forgive me," I begged suddenly, "Here is breakfast." I quickly spun around and prepared to leave the room, just as I had several times the previous day.

"Wait." I stopped in my tracks and turned my head slowly toward Kaoru.

"Stay here," she ordered meekly, "Even for a few minutes. I- I don't want to be alone."

"But, aren't you afraid of me?" I asked in disbelief.

"The Ishin's top assasin is someone to be afraid of, yes," admitted Kaoru, "But it's better than being alone again... with nothing to think about but my family." Her eyes pleaded for my company, and I gave in.

"You're a brave girl, Miss Kaoru," I laughed gently. I sat in my usual spot by the books and looked at her.

"Um... okay... now that you're staying... I should think of something to say, right?" deliberated Kaoru, "Um... well, there's a couple of things I've been wondering about you, actually, if you don't mind me asking."

"You know who I am. There's little more to me that's more secretive. But," I added mischievously, "For every question you ask me, I ask you one. I'll be truthful, and so will you." Kaoru nodded swiftly- there was nothing she could possibly have to hide. Pure and innocent- what I'd been a mere year ago. Before death painted my hands red.

"Okay... first of all, are you really Japanese? I've never seen anyone with your hair and eyes before." It was a question I'd been asked frequently, and a question I usually answered with a yes. But there are things I need to know from her, and I promised honesty.

"My father was born a European. When he was an infant, a foreign ship wrecked on the coast accidentally. A Japanese family took him in and raised him as their own, giving him the name Himura. My mother was pureblood Japanese, so when the two of them married I inheirited my father's hair and eyes, but most of my features came from my mother. Technically, I'm half European, but I've never been brought up with European teachings nor spoke anything but Japanese. In my heart, I am pure Japanese, even if my blood says otherwise. A man's identity lies within his soul, not within his ancestors."

"That's not true," contradicted Kaoru, "What about the emperor? Or the shogun?"

"Their ancestors gave them power- not personality. According to your ancestors, Kaoru Kamiya is a highborn young lady. But in your soul you seem to be a regular tomboy."

"Hey! I can be feminine!"

"I'm sure you could, but it's not your nature."

"Well, it isn't your nature to kill, is it?" I stopped dead. My eyes flashed amber for an instant, but I shut them and they returned to violet. Just who does she think she's talking to?

"Of course it is," I attested, "I can wield a sword with more speed, strength, and agility than any other Ishin Shishi, and can hold my own against Shinsen-gumi captains. If this isn't my nature, then what is?!" My cheeks flushed red as I realized I'd spoken too fervently than I should have, and the occupants of the next room surely wondered what I spoke of.

"But... you're so gentle," she murmured, almost afraid to speak after my outburst, "You didn't even want to kill that mouse."

"Just because I don't like killing innocents doesn't mean a hitokiri isn't my nature. I've slaughtered countless men, and a few women too if my job called for it."

"But you don't enjoy killing, do you?" Kaoru stated.

"Enjoy is a difficult word," I reasoned, "In the instant I kill an armed opponent, there is a rush of adrenaline so great it's indescribable. The stronger the opponent, the greater the rush."

"You regret it afterwords," she finished. Sometimes. When I need to kill bystanders. But she didn't ask it, so I won't answer.

"It seems you've gotten a bit ahead of yourself in our agreement. It seems you've asked me four questions, so now it's my turn," I reasoned.

"Hey!" burst out Kaoru, but she couldn't easily go back on a deal made with an assasin. She silenced herself and bit her lip in frustration. There are a number of things I need to ask her, but I must be careful.

"First of all, did your father teach your brother the final techniques of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu?" Kaoru turned her head a bit, puzzled as to why I needed to ask a question about someone she presumed I'd never met, but she answered, as she'd promised.

"Father taught the style to both of us. Kenji was two years older, so he learned the techniques first, but as the daughter of a samurai I needed to know the sword as well. Kenji was very skilled at the style." My thoughts lingered to the wound on my cheek. It didn't bleed, but it hadn't healed either. If I'm ever to get a clue about this scar, I need to ask her.

"Secondly, what sort of katana did Kenji use?" Kaoru's brow furrowed, though I was relieved to find it more in bewilderment than in sadness of remembering her brother.

"He used a regular katana, crafted by Shakku Arai." I held my breath before asking my next question, contemplating the vaguest way I could word it without losing its value. She's inferred so much from so little already... the last thing I want her to know is the name of her brother's killer. I pictured in my mind the motion of Kenji's sword, the swift stroke that curved upward around the body to barely meet my cheek in time to draw blood.

"In the Kamiya Kasshin ryu," I worded carefully, "Is there any sort of speed attack with the intent of creating a wound that does not have the ability to heal properly? In other words, a wound that remains open, so even those injured by the style will eventually die of bloodloss or infection?" Kaoru stared at me, horrified.

"Kamiya Kasshin is the sword that protects life!" she defended, "It was originally developed for wooden swords- true swords are only used if life is truly on the line. The attacks are meant to disable the opponent- never to kill them." Internally, I breathed a sigh of relief. She doesn't suspect anything. For now.

"I have one more question for you, Miss Kaoru-"

"No you don't!" she answered triumphantly, "Your last question was two questions! Ha!" Realizing it, I mentally smacked myself. It must have shown on my face, because in an instant Kaoru began to giggle.

I've made her cry... and now I've made her laugh?! I didn't dwell on the thought though, and instead smiled back at her, looking deeply into her sapphire eyes. Her eyes aren't Japanese either... But who was I to say her eyes were beautiful, when it was her spirit and soul I suddenly felt so drawn to?

-----

That night, a black envelope came. I hid my dealings with Iizuka as best as I could from Kaoru, but I knew she suspected something when I explained I'd return very late that night. This is the third assasination this week, I calculated, not including the shinsengumi or the other Kamiyas. Katsura should give me a raise...

The calligraphy on the paper burned into my eyes. Six feet tall, middle aged, missing his left ear. Jiro Akeno. From what I understood, he wasn't a particularly important adversary, but his death tonight would be extremely easy to perform, as he was in Kyoto on business. He'd had some minor ties to Kamiya, but after his death he had decided to use the opportunity to strengthen his bond to the Shinsen-gumi. I must rob them of their supporter before the alliance is made.

I reached the inn Akeno was supposedly staying at, lanterns shining orange against the blue of the night. Rain poured around me, chilling my skin through my layers of clothing and plastering my bangs against my face. With a brush of my fingers I pushed them out of my eyes, then slowly crept toward the inn.

People are still awake in the common room... I should wait until they've left before making my move. I found a small, dark corner amongst a few empty rice barrels. I crouched there, ears open for the sound of silence.

"I don't care!" a young boy's voice rang loudly from inside the inn, "She's my cousin- your late sister Eriko's daughter! I can't let her stay any longer with those horrid men!"

"Calm yourself Yahiko!" came another strong voice, "She's safer with them than with us for the moment. The Ishin want our friendship- and that will protect her."

"If we don't fetch her tomorrow, the Ishin could kill her!" defended the boy called Yahiko.

"The Ishin are expecting us tomorrow, yes, but if they plan on earning our friendship they will be civil to little Kaoru until we arrive- even if it is later." Kaoru?! The Myojins were inside the inn. If I don't perform this assasination... I don't want to think about that. But if I do... the Myojin alliance might be lost to us forever.

But I was a hitokiri, not a politician, and a hitokiri kills whom he is told. Unless they have pretty blue eyes... I cracked upon my forehead lightly with the back of my hand, to remind my self of my thoughts. I can't be distracted during my work.

But distraction was inevitable. As much as I tried to control it or deny it, whenever I wasn't looking at Kaoru or talking to her, I thought about her. Two days ago... I didn't know she existed... and now she's taken over me.

Why did I think of her so much? It began as a sort of chivalry, which turned to pity since I too knew how it felt to lose what she had. And doubtless she was beautiful- and for one who doesn't take time to dwell over women that meant something. She's smart, and she's even got some sword skills. We've got lots of common ground. Yet her life story couldn't possibly be anything like mine- so we've got nothing in common.

An exasperated sigh escaped my lips. She was a puzzle- that's all there was to it. Once I figured out just what made her so different, she'd leave my mind in peace. The two Myojins continued to argue inside, and I cursed myself for temporarily tuning out their words.

"Don't you want to see her safe?" fought Yahiko, "The fact that they've kept her alive at all shows their intentions!"

"I'm going to bed," announced the older man, "If you're so intent on seeing your cousin again, then fetch her first thing tomorrow." A few moments passed, and the lantern faded, engulfing the area in pitch darkness. I gingerly stood up and tread toward the door, removing my shoes as I had when I'd killed Fujitaka Kamiya.

I pressed my hands to the shoji screen door and pushed it aside slowly, not daring to breath.

I snuck through the dark corridors on tiptoe, a dark wraith promising death where I tread. I reached the wooden staircase, which I swiftly but carefully ran up. A couple of the steps creaked under my light touch, sending a chill up my spine at the thought of the inn waking up around me. How many would I have to kill then?

A lone man stood outside one door on the second story. His eyes shot in my direction immediately, his hand flying to the hilt of his katana. I sprinted forward, executing a swift batou-jutsu, which sliced effortlessly through the guard's gut. Body and sword clamored to the ground, and I took a moment to scan the area for signs of life.

The area clear, I turned toward the guarded door and slid it open, exposing a lone man sitting in a corner, reading some documents by candle light. He turned to look at me as I entered, eyes widening at the sight of my bloody katana. Six feet tall, middle aged, missing his left ear. Akeno fit his description well.

"No," he begged, voice barely audible, "I- I have a wife and two little boys... don't kill me..." His blood gurgled in his throat as I deftly thrust my sword into his heart.

"Shinta, Benjiro, Keitaro... my poor, sweet babies," my mother cooed, tears spilling out of her dark brown eyes, "Your father's gone to the next place."

"Hito Kamiya was assasinated last night."

"Well, it isn't your nature to kill, is it?"

Eyes glazed over, he slumped upon the ground as I jerked my katana out. My scar bled.

------

I made certain to wash the blood off myself before returning to my room that night. There's still red on my clothing, and now I'm soaked... but it should comfort Kaoru a little. She'd be leaving tomorrow, and I didn't want her to be afraid of me. Funny... now that I don't find her presence awkward I don't want her to leave...

The mouse waited for me at the entrance to the inn, squeaking mischievously. Does it think it's my new pet? Well, that's what I get for feeding it. It followed me back to the room, skittering into a dark corner as soon as the shoji door opened.

Kaoru lay on the futon, chest slowly heaving up and down to the gentle rhythm of her breathing. Asleep. Well, I should probably change out of these wet clothes. The downside of washing away blood by pouring a bucket over one's head.

I slid the door shut and lit a candle, then rummaged through my folded clothing for a new gi and hakama, settling on forest green and white. I slowly shed my wet, bloodstained assasin's clothes, then pulled the clean, dry clothes over my cold skin.

"Um... Mister Himura?" came a small voice from behind me. I spun around to find Kaoru propping herself up on her elbows, a soft blush on her cheeks. Shit- how much did she see?

"Call me Kenshin," I corrected, though I didn't know why. The only person who had called me by my second first name was Hiko- why should this girl be any different? I couldn't hide the red that crept upon my cheeks.

"Forgive me- I thought you were asleep," I apologized. Nice going... you know she's a light sleeper.

"I was..." she drifted off, turning her head to look about the room. The blush remained on her cheeks as she avoided my gaze. She's even beautiful when she blushes.

I smiled and sat beside the book case, casually pulling out my top and giving it a good spin. Kaoru lay her head on the pillow again, but kept her eyes open, slowly watching the top's movements.

"Papa! Papa!" I cried out as I ran over to him. Benjiro was at my heels, running as quickly as his chubby legs could carry him. My father smiled at both of us, holding three trinkets in his hands after a trip to the marketplace.

"Shinta! Benjiro!" he shouted in return, "I've got presents!"

A small round ball for Benjiro. A pretty hairpin for our mother, whom at the time had been pregnant with Keitaro. And lastly, a little top for me. I watched the top spin on the ground as memories spun in my head.

A grey ball scampered across the room, crawling over the futon. A yelp escaped Kaoru's lips as she scrunched her body into a ball, trying to keep herself as far from the rodent as possible. She knows her father's kendo style, has looked death in the eyes, and is still afraid of a harmless mouse. I gently took the mouse into my hands. It did not try to escape, but rested calmly in my palm.

"Kaoru," I began gently, ignoring formality, "Don't be afraid. It's only a little mouse." I held it in my right hand and slowly stroked it's soft, grey fur with my left index finger.

"But... but..." Kaoru protested as I crouched down next to her holding the beast. Her eyes gazed at the little creature with a strange fascination, but I felt a sudden pang of fear in her ki every time it moved.

Gently, I took her hand in mine and slowly moved it over to the mouse. She shook with fear, and her ki screamed.

"No.... Kenshin... don't," she murmured as I focused my grip on a single finger, manipulating its motions.

"Don't be afraid," I whispered, as I slowly moved her finger along the mouse's fur. She gasped softly. I could read her thoughts by the look in her eyes- she was touching a mouse and everything was... fine.

I softly released her hand from my grasp, but she continued to pet the little mouse, a content smile resting on her lips.

"Once you see one up close..." she reasoned quietly, "It's actually kind of cute." Her ki was back to normal, her breathing relaxed.

Suddenly, I wanted to put my arm around her. No... she's leaving tomorrow, and an assasin can't bother with things like that. But my body disobeyed my mind, as I gently placed my left hand on Kaoru's left arm, my arm wrapping around her back. Fuck being an assasin. I can't keep lying to myself. I pulled her closer to me, half-expecting her to protest and snap away.

She didn't.

------

The sun shone brightly the next morning when Yahiko Myojin came. To my surprise, he was only ten, with messy black hair, green hakama, and a yellow gi. Katsura bid him to wait in the common room while I fetched Kaoru.

She wore the blue kimono for her departure. She looked more radient than I ever could have imagined- her eyes shamed the deepest cerulean of the sea, the strongest azure of the sky. The blue ribbon firmly tied around her hair, which flowed out of the high ponytail like shimmering silk.

"Your cousin Yahiko is here for you, Miss Kaoru," I annouced heavily, "I don't suppose we'll see each other again, so I wish you the best."

"Kenshin... can I ask you one more question?" Her eyes sparkled, reflecting the brilliant shades of her kimono. Is she trying to delay leaving?

"Of course. Ask anything you wish." Kaoru bit her lip, pondering her words.

"For how long will you continue to be the Ishin's assasin?"

"As long as it's necessary. I will do this until the Japan is at peace once more. Or else, until I die, should the conflict outlive me."

"I see," replied Kaoru softly, "For quite awhile, then. Um... is there something you'd like to ask me now?"

"There is," I answered slowly, stepping closer to her. My heartbeat rose, and I felt certain she could hear the difference as I leaned close to her ear. It's now or never.

"Can I kiss you?" I breathed. Time stopped as I waited for her answer, heart beating madly in my chest. I longed for the answer and dreaded it at the same time, and I felt naked and vulnerable until her sweet whisper filled my ears.

"Yes."

I slowly placed my fingers under her chin, lifting her lips toward mine. I gently pressed my mouth against hers, her lips soft and warm. I held them against mine for a moment, not daring to breath as I eased them open and slid my tongue inside.

She started for a moment, then relaxed and returned the favor, caressing my tongue with hers. My arms wrapped themselves around her, hands resting on the small of her back. I wish we could stay like this forever- never break apart.

But we did.

I couldn't bring myself to look in Kaoru's eyes as she met Yahiko in the common room. But I watched her smile, and heard her laugh as she and her cousin hugged each other like brother and sister. She has a place... and it's not here.

"Thanks for taking care of her," thanked Yahiko, "I'm sure my dad will help you guys out if you need him." Katsura's eyes smiled and caught mine, but I didn't return the glance. That boy might not have realized who killed Akeno, but his father might have.

He and Kaoru bowed deeply, then left, bright smiles on their faces. I watched Kaoru walk away, through the hall then out the shoji door. Goodbye, Kaoru Kamiya. Yahiko reached behind him and shut the door, stealing her from my sight.

I love you.

-----------

Maybe Kenshin should name the mouse Mr. Jingles...(j/k). I hope they didn't seem to be moving too fast into romantic stuff, but I figured since he spend a whole chapter and a half contemplating Kaoru I could put in some mushy stuff without making it OOC. At least I hope it's not OOC... I liked this chapter a lot, and it turned out to be 8 pages long. Wow! Usually when I write, chapters tend to get shorter as the story goes on, but there really wasn't anywhere else I could have broken this one off. I threw in the bit about Kenshin's ancestry for my own amusement mostly. I don't know if I'll be able to update again before my trip... so if I don't post anything by Sunday, then there won't be anything until mid-july. Another big thank you to all my reviewers :-)!