Ya you know I don't own anything. There is language blah blah blah.
READDDDD it! No flamers, Reviewing is a good thing to do, good for your
health. Yours and mine!
~*~*~*~*~*~ Chapter 3 I Want to Know
Hayden lay in her bed that night thinking. She wasn't one to care who liked her and who didn't, but not knowing Katie and the whole glaring thing welled in her mind. She didn't like the fact that someone had something against her without saying even 2 words. She didn't like the fact that she didn't KNOW these people and she had already told one of them everything. She wasn't one to trust people easily, but somehow, Freddy's silence invited trust. There was a quality about him that showed self confidence, confidence in others, and trust. She wasn't sure, maybe the glimmer in his eyes, or his thin face, or his gentle smile, or maybe all of the above. She usually kept to herself and let the razor take care of every pain in the world. People always told her to stop. Friends that traveled out of her life as fast as they entered it, would sometimes cut with her, would sometimes spread rumors about her because they knew she was weak, and a few told her mom. On that account, Hayden had gone through several specialists, but her mother ended up just giving up on that because Hayden refused to talk to anyone about her problems. This was due to the fact that she had a 'best friend' with whom she shared everything. Only to find the next day the whole school knowing the wrong facts, losing all of her friends because they had been told that she had a 'contagious disease' and the one best friend denying it all. Ever since then, Hayden never told anyone anything. This became a hardship in future friendships that she had. This is why she was truly surprised when she opened up to Freddy like she did. She was bound to either be really attached to the blondie, or really nervous around him. Only time would tell. She rolled her head and looked at the old clock flashing 12:53 next to her. She closed her eyes. Attempting to gain a peaceful sleep and get rid of her problems for the night, but sleep never came. Eventually, around 4, her mind drifted to a more peaceful world than what she was actually living.
The next morning, her alarm blared Led Zeppelin as Dewey ripped open the curtains and singing along with the song.
"uhh" Hayden moaned as she pulled the covers over her head.
"LOVER BOY IS HEREEEEE" Dewey called as he ran out of the corner with high knees and a possessed look on his face
"Who?!?!" Hayden called. She was never REALLY sure what her cousin was talking about, but this was one of those times when she didn't have the slightest clue.
"Lover boy? I'm sure I would be if maybe I actually KNEW the girl" She heard Freddy's voice.
"AH AH AHH AHHH" Dewey screamed the beginning of the famous Led song.
Hayden laughed and threw the covers off of her. She was clad in a pair of baggy black sweatpants and a navy blue sweatshirt. She stumbled into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"Ya.. it looks like YOUR ready to go" Freddy commented.
"Wait, I'm going somewhere?" Hayden asked, stirring about 3 packs of Equal sugar into her coffee.
"Your coming to find drums with me. If I go with Katie, she'll take an hour to put on lip gloss, if I go with Zach, we'll get kicked out of the store, if I go with Lawrence, I won't get to talk, if I go with Summer, she won't shut up, if I go wi-"Freddy started his long list of people that he could possibly go with.
"Ya ya I get the point." Hayden waved her hand at him. She pulled up the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
"I also kind of wanted to talk to you about something" He told her as his eyes went from hers to her arm, and then back to her eyes. Hayden gulped and pulled her sleeve back down. She didn't want him to know that she was weak. She didn't want to know him so fast.
"um... We might just have to stick to the drums" She mumbled. Freddy shot her a warning look.
"I'll go get dressed" She said as she shuffled back to the curtain enclosed corner. She slipped on her usual jeans and a sweatshirt. She brushed her straight chestnut brown hair and kept it down. She shoved money in her back pocket and slid on her Chuck Taylor's. She walked back out to the kitchen and motioned to the door. The walk down to Freddy's car was silent. As soon as Freddy nearly ran into a stop sign, he brought up the dreaded subject.
"Why?" He asked simply.
"Look Freddy, I don't know you. But I'll give you an explanation just because leaving someone in the dark whether you know them or not is stupid" Hayden said. Freddy just gave a slight nod of his head. He glanced at her; a look of inviting trust. 'oh no...' Hayden thought. She always wanted someone to trust, she just didn't want to be so close so fast. It was silent except for the busy traffic. Hayden thought back and forth what to tell Freddy, what to do about this. "Look Freddy. I'm really not comfortable talking about this kind of stuff because I've never really HAD to. I mean I've had psychiatrist's but those didn't last long. I'd prefer if I just told you on my own time" She told him. Freddy pondered. He didn't want her to hurt herself but he had to respect her privacy.
"Ok" Freddy said shortly. This was the point of taking her to the drum store with him. He didn't actually need to go the drum store, he just needed an excuse to get her out of the house and talk to her. Which, as was previously seen, didn't quite work. Freddy drove clear past the drum store.
"Umm... You just passed it..." Hayden commented.
"I've done it too" The drummer said, completely ignoring Hayden's comment. He looked at her to find a reaction. He found a look of puzzlement. "I used to cut" He explained.
"Oh" She let a little nod and then looked out the window. She was uncomfortable being so close to someone she barely knew. Sure they had that first night of conversation and sure she trusted him, but she didn't want to. She didn't want such a fast friendship. She wanted to make sure that that's what he wanted, a friendship, not just someone who is going to go tell all of her secrets again. She was full of that type of thing.
"I know how it feels to need to do it" He explained, turning another corner.
"Mm..." She mumbled as she pulled her sleeve over her hand and rested her head on her clenched hand.
"Please talk to me. I haven't had any one to talk to about this. I know that you're not comfortable about this, but what am I going to do that could make you so worried? What would I do that would make you not trust me. I still have secrets from fourth grade. I have my own secrets which no one knows. Hayden... trust me. I can help you and you can help me." The last sentence struck her as interesting.
"What makes you think that I can help you?" She asked suspiciously.
"No one is really like me at our school. They all pretty much follow their parents rule and don't really care, they just play the music, go home, study, get A's. There is almost no heart. From what I've heard from you, you have the heart of a fucking elephant. You've gone through a lot and I haven't gone through as much as you have but I'm not the bad person everyone thinks I am. Sure I'm cynical and sarcastic but that doesn't mean that I don't want someone to talk to" He told her.
"O..." She just said un emotionally.
"Just tell me why. Tell me why it's so hard for you to trust."
"Freddy. How long have I known you?"
"Two days"
"You just answered your own question." Hayden said, not tearing her eyes off of the monotonous gray buildings, the faceless people walking the streets, the anonymous little kids. She would never know the world. She was almost dead inside. Almost...
~*~*~
Freddy finally got out of her the story of not trusting people, her best friend turning her back on her. Freddy was a little more delicate with Hayden now. He didn't know her as well as he wanted to, but it wasn't over yet. He wasn't going to give up.
The next few weeks Freddy and Hayden slowly got closer and closer until a month passed and he was the best friend that she could trust with anything. Freddy was her rock and she was his. But he still didn't know why she called him sobbing and just wanting him to be silent on the phone, just be there. He didn't understand. But she had her reasons, and she still had her secrets. He had yet to find out about her cutting. He had yet to find out why she wouldn't come to school some days and why she called him sobbing, wishing for silence, why she was still such a shadow in the bright light of their friendship
~*~*~*~
MarySueH8tr – I'm really sorry and I'm TRYING to make it better for you, I PROMISE =D
OrLaNdO~LuVeR – YAYYYY I GET 10 GOLD STARS! Thank you so much for the review.. it inspiirrrred me to write more. Hope you liked this chapttter
squidluvr4eva – hey deary, thank you very much for the review. And ya it's really sad stuff but its everywhere.. it's pretty scary. But hope you liked this chapter
It did move a little fast but I don't need to spend a whole chapter talking about how they got closer, ok? Ok!
Now do you see that little button that says go? Press it! Remember, it's good for your health!
~*~*~*~*~*~ Chapter 3 I Want to Know
Hayden lay in her bed that night thinking. She wasn't one to care who liked her and who didn't, but not knowing Katie and the whole glaring thing welled in her mind. She didn't like the fact that someone had something against her without saying even 2 words. She didn't like the fact that she didn't KNOW these people and she had already told one of them everything. She wasn't one to trust people easily, but somehow, Freddy's silence invited trust. There was a quality about him that showed self confidence, confidence in others, and trust. She wasn't sure, maybe the glimmer in his eyes, or his thin face, or his gentle smile, or maybe all of the above. She usually kept to herself and let the razor take care of every pain in the world. People always told her to stop. Friends that traveled out of her life as fast as they entered it, would sometimes cut with her, would sometimes spread rumors about her because they knew she was weak, and a few told her mom. On that account, Hayden had gone through several specialists, but her mother ended up just giving up on that because Hayden refused to talk to anyone about her problems. This was due to the fact that she had a 'best friend' with whom she shared everything. Only to find the next day the whole school knowing the wrong facts, losing all of her friends because they had been told that she had a 'contagious disease' and the one best friend denying it all. Ever since then, Hayden never told anyone anything. This became a hardship in future friendships that she had. This is why she was truly surprised when she opened up to Freddy like she did. She was bound to either be really attached to the blondie, or really nervous around him. Only time would tell. She rolled her head and looked at the old clock flashing 12:53 next to her. She closed her eyes. Attempting to gain a peaceful sleep and get rid of her problems for the night, but sleep never came. Eventually, around 4, her mind drifted to a more peaceful world than what she was actually living.
The next morning, her alarm blared Led Zeppelin as Dewey ripped open the curtains and singing along with the song.
"uhh" Hayden moaned as she pulled the covers over her head.
"LOVER BOY IS HEREEEEE" Dewey called as he ran out of the corner with high knees and a possessed look on his face
"Who?!?!" Hayden called. She was never REALLY sure what her cousin was talking about, but this was one of those times when she didn't have the slightest clue.
"Lover boy? I'm sure I would be if maybe I actually KNEW the girl" She heard Freddy's voice.
"AH AH AHH AHHH" Dewey screamed the beginning of the famous Led song.
Hayden laughed and threw the covers off of her. She was clad in a pair of baggy black sweatpants and a navy blue sweatshirt. She stumbled into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"Ya.. it looks like YOUR ready to go" Freddy commented.
"Wait, I'm going somewhere?" Hayden asked, stirring about 3 packs of Equal sugar into her coffee.
"Your coming to find drums with me. If I go with Katie, she'll take an hour to put on lip gloss, if I go with Zach, we'll get kicked out of the store, if I go with Lawrence, I won't get to talk, if I go with Summer, she won't shut up, if I go wi-"Freddy started his long list of people that he could possibly go with.
"Ya ya I get the point." Hayden waved her hand at him. She pulled up the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
"I also kind of wanted to talk to you about something" He told her as his eyes went from hers to her arm, and then back to her eyes. Hayden gulped and pulled her sleeve back down. She didn't want him to know that she was weak. She didn't want to know him so fast.
"um... We might just have to stick to the drums" She mumbled. Freddy shot her a warning look.
"I'll go get dressed" She said as she shuffled back to the curtain enclosed corner. She slipped on her usual jeans and a sweatshirt. She brushed her straight chestnut brown hair and kept it down. She shoved money in her back pocket and slid on her Chuck Taylor's. She walked back out to the kitchen and motioned to the door. The walk down to Freddy's car was silent. As soon as Freddy nearly ran into a stop sign, he brought up the dreaded subject.
"Why?" He asked simply.
"Look Freddy, I don't know you. But I'll give you an explanation just because leaving someone in the dark whether you know them or not is stupid" Hayden said. Freddy just gave a slight nod of his head. He glanced at her; a look of inviting trust. 'oh no...' Hayden thought. She always wanted someone to trust, she just didn't want to be so close so fast. It was silent except for the busy traffic. Hayden thought back and forth what to tell Freddy, what to do about this. "Look Freddy. I'm really not comfortable talking about this kind of stuff because I've never really HAD to. I mean I've had psychiatrist's but those didn't last long. I'd prefer if I just told you on my own time" She told him. Freddy pondered. He didn't want her to hurt herself but he had to respect her privacy.
"Ok" Freddy said shortly. This was the point of taking her to the drum store with him. He didn't actually need to go the drum store, he just needed an excuse to get her out of the house and talk to her. Which, as was previously seen, didn't quite work. Freddy drove clear past the drum store.
"Umm... You just passed it..." Hayden commented.
"I've done it too" The drummer said, completely ignoring Hayden's comment. He looked at her to find a reaction. He found a look of puzzlement. "I used to cut" He explained.
"Oh" She let a little nod and then looked out the window. She was uncomfortable being so close to someone she barely knew. Sure they had that first night of conversation and sure she trusted him, but she didn't want to. She didn't want such a fast friendship. She wanted to make sure that that's what he wanted, a friendship, not just someone who is going to go tell all of her secrets again. She was full of that type of thing.
"I know how it feels to need to do it" He explained, turning another corner.
"Mm..." She mumbled as she pulled her sleeve over her hand and rested her head on her clenched hand.
"Please talk to me. I haven't had any one to talk to about this. I know that you're not comfortable about this, but what am I going to do that could make you so worried? What would I do that would make you not trust me. I still have secrets from fourth grade. I have my own secrets which no one knows. Hayden... trust me. I can help you and you can help me." The last sentence struck her as interesting.
"What makes you think that I can help you?" She asked suspiciously.
"No one is really like me at our school. They all pretty much follow their parents rule and don't really care, they just play the music, go home, study, get A's. There is almost no heart. From what I've heard from you, you have the heart of a fucking elephant. You've gone through a lot and I haven't gone through as much as you have but I'm not the bad person everyone thinks I am. Sure I'm cynical and sarcastic but that doesn't mean that I don't want someone to talk to" He told her.
"O..." She just said un emotionally.
"Just tell me why. Tell me why it's so hard for you to trust."
"Freddy. How long have I known you?"
"Two days"
"You just answered your own question." Hayden said, not tearing her eyes off of the monotonous gray buildings, the faceless people walking the streets, the anonymous little kids. She would never know the world. She was almost dead inside. Almost...
~*~*~
Freddy finally got out of her the story of not trusting people, her best friend turning her back on her. Freddy was a little more delicate with Hayden now. He didn't know her as well as he wanted to, but it wasn't over yet. He wasn't going to give up.
The next few weeks Freddy and Hayden slowly got closer and closer until a month passed and he was the best friend that she could trust with anything. Freddy was her rock and she was his. But he still didn't know why she called him sobbing and just wanting him to be silent on the phone, just be there. He didn't understand. But she had her reasons, and she still had her secrets. He had yet to find out about her cutting. He had yet to find out why she wouldn't come to school some days and why she called him sobbing, wishing for silence, why she was still such a shadow in the bright light of their friendship
~*~*~*~
MarySueH8tr – I'm really sorry and I'm TRYING to make it better for you, I PROMISE =D
OrLaNdO~LuVeR – YAYYYY I GET 10 GOLD STARS! Thank you so much for the review.. it inspiirrrred me to write more. Hope you liked this chapttter
squidluvr4eva – hey deary, thank you very much for the review. And ya it's really sad stuff but its everywhere.. it's pretty scary. But hope you liked this chapter
It did move a little fast but I don't need to spend a whole chapter talking about how they got closer, ok? Ok!
Now do you see that little button that says go? Press it! Remember, it's good for your health!