Journal of Minerva McGonagall
Week # 6
Oh journal I am so confused, which is so unlike me! Maybe by writing down exactly what has happened this week, I can begin to make some sense from my thoughts and feelings. Merlin knows I haven't been doing so well on my own.
Let's discuss school matters before delving into my private affairs. Albus arranged for a pre-season quidditch party this year. He stated in our staff meeting that it was something he wanted to try. I must say that it helped to liven my mood a bit but it did nothing to ease the tension between Albus and myself.
My young lions and lionesses were in high spirits that night, as were the Slytherins, so it proved to be an eventful evening with several small skirmishes. However, no one was hurt and very few house points were taken so all in all I suppose it was a pleasant evening. Xiomara and Professor Flitwick did a wonderful job with the small quidditch pitch showcasing famous moves from various games and I made it a point to compliment them on their efforts.
Now to the unhappy business of the quidditch game. My Gryffindors played so hard and did their very best. Of that I am sure. Unfortunately, the Slytherins never play fair and Xiomara Hooch needs her eyes examined! Normally, I would turn to Albus for comfort after such a loss but that was not an option this time. Although I did notice how his eyes caught mine after the match and they seemed to be filled with the same disappointment as my own. You see, we lost resoundingly and I fear that Severus Snape may never cease his gloating. But there is always the next game and we're not out of the Cup race yet! However, that has been the very least of my trials this week.
I know it seems that all of my journals focus on Albus, in one way or another, but he is such a large part of my life it's hard not to mention him. Then again, when we have problems develop in our friendship it affects every other aspect of our lives. I admit that I have been overly harsh with him recently and I believe I owe him an apology. That's something I've never been good at giving freely. It's one thing to know that I have made an error but it is another thing to look into his caring eyes and know that I have caused the hurt I see in them.
Just when I was about ready to request a private chat with him, he turns the tide on me again and I am left feeling even more bewildered. For years, we have been nothing more than friends, much to my displeasure. And yet out of the blue, he has started showering me with all kinds of notes and gifts. It is almost like he is trying to win my heart instead of apologizing for something he still does not understand.
I admit it! At first I was angered by his new attentions for I feared they were attempts to placate my temper instead of searching for the reasons behind my mood. Then the wonderful man that he is swept me off my feet without ever comprehending it. He had been sending me various notes, as I mentioned earlier. He even found photographs of us together and sent them. Some of those pictures I hadn't seen in years. We looked so happy and carefree in them. In some of them, I noticed that he looked at as if he loved me but I suppose I am grasping at proverbial straws.
But back to my earlier thoughts. The notes he sent were so romantic, yet I'm not sure if he intended them to be. That would be too much to hope for on my behalf. He must have put a great deal of time and effort into them for each was a quotation from a favorite poem or play. Some were sincerely written words asking for forgiveness. Yet the one that touched me most was the one sent the morning before he appeared to share afternoon tea. In his extravagant handwriting he quoted: Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. And it was signed…I miss you dearly~ Albus.
I was left speechless as a single tear fell from my stern eyes. He had managed to breach the gap separating us. Later he arrived with afternoon tea. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and say so many things, first and foremost that I was sorry. Yet I never found the courage. We sat there in silence as he served us both, never uttering the first word. I struggled with my own emotions and in the end I let him leave before I found the courage to apologize.
After another restless night I woke up and looked at the notes again as well as the photographs. There was no way I could make it another day without his presence in my life so I knew I had to open the doors of discussion. I had carefully planned a speech, which would end in an apology but when he smiled at me this morning, all I managed to say was "Good Morning, Albus." He is still a child at heart because he immediately began to whistle, much to my horror but inside I was whistling with him. As the day progressed, our conversations became lengthier and I have asked him to my private rooms after dinner tomorrow night so that we may clear the air. I only hope that I will find the courage to say and do the things I must.
Oh and one more thing. I do not think that Albus had such a wonderful luncheon with Ms. Orchid. I was looking out my window and I saw him return. He looked extremely unhappy and I have to wonder if part of that was because of something I started. But I can't say that a bit of me is not pleased. It pained me more than he knew to hear that he was meeting an attractive woman for an afternoon in Hogsmeade. Nothing would please me more than to be the woman he spends his days and nights with but those days may never come. Then again I should not lose all hope just yet. After his wonderful demonstrations of feelings this week, anything is possible.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who is taking the time to review A Truth Brought to Light. We hope you are enjoying their entries and brighter days are ahead for our couple, so have no fear! The quotation Albus sent to Minerva was from Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra, so we want to give credit where credit it due.
In addition, we were asked about Albus' previous attempts at wooing Minerva which she missed entirely. Not at all like our beloved witch. Well HappyReader!, you have sparked a plot bunny and will now need to wait for the answer ^_^