Journal of Minerva McGonagall

Week # 7

This has been the most amazing week of my life and I cannot even begin to express my feelings in mere words. All thoughts and emotions would be belittled by the use of any language except that spoken by the heart. I know that sounds so very unlike me but then again I've never truly been in love before and felt that love returned. Let me explain…

Albus came to my chambers, as I requested. He was so very sweet and thoughtful even though I had treated him harshly this past week. He noticed how very little I had eaten at dinner and he took the liberty of bringing me a picnic basket full of food. Although his efforts were much appreciated, I must say that I never got around to eating that night.

After a few moments of silence, I decided to approach the touchy subject that had plagued my thoughts all week. As he leisurely drank his cocoa, I asked him about his dinner with Ms. Orchid, hoping that he would give me the answers I wanted to hear. I believe he was surprised at first but in the end he did not disappoint me. He confirmed that it had been a less than pleasant experience and that gave my aching heart a quick burst of energy and a renewed hope.

I'll never fully understand what gave me the courage to do what I did. One minute I was looking at the picnic dinner he had brought and desperately wanting to make amends. He was standing by my fireplace and he looked so incredibly handsome. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him and kiss him as a woman kisses the man she adores instead of a 'best friend' sort of caress. Even if it would be the only real kiss we ever shared, at least I would have that memory to hold on to on cold, lonely days. So without rationalizing it or thinking of the possible consequences, I quietly rose from my chair and when he turned around, I gently touched his cheek as my lips met his.

As long as I live, I will never forget the way he made me tingle from the tips of my toes to the very ends of my hair. I have never felt so alive and full of life as I did at that moment. Then I realized that he was not responding and I started to pull away. But at that very moment his strong arms wound around my waist and he pulled me even closer to his warm body as he deepened the kiss. Sweet Merlin it was the most spectacular feeling in the world! He lovingly explored my mouth with his soft tongue and the sensations were more than I could handle. Every cell in my body wanted to explode with excitement and when we finally broke apart he stared into my eyes in a fresh, new way.

I was so completely blown away by the new feelings crashing inside of me that I did not even try to hide my emotions or thoughts. For that I am so grateful because he appeared to read my mind and apparently it matched his own. He tenderly took my hand within his and led me to the couch. At his invitation, I snuggled into his arms and we spent several wonderful moments just staring into the other's eyes as his hands lovingly rubbed at my back while we explored the new sensations that had been stirred.

Albus finally broke into the silence. He is such a charmer. He told me that I was beautiful, although in hindsight I must've looked a mess. My hair had been mussed in our embrace and I am certain that my cheeks were flushed and glowing. Anyway, I was finally able to confess to him that I had always wanted more of an intimate relationship with him and the past week I had been more upset with myself than with him for letting all those opportunities slip through my fingers. He wasted no time in expressing that he had always desired more from me as well but was unsure of my feelings. Merlin! If I had known that years ago…

Anyway, we had a very long discussion about recent events and cleared the air. Then he took me in his arms again and made me feel so many magnificent things that it was hard for my brain to comprehend them all. We both knew he must return to his own chambers but it was hard to watch him leave. The taste of his kisses lingered on my lips and I found it hard to sleep for replaying the night in my memory.

But I certainly am not going to complain because the following morning I awoke to a room filled with a stunning array of floral bouquets. So many in fact that Madame Sprout would have sworn I had raided her greenhouses. Each group of flowers contained a note expressing his deepest thoughts and desires, although none of them mentioned 'love'. Somehow that doesn't bother me though. I felt how much he cares for and desires me so even if he never utters those three little words, "I love you", I will still be as happy as I am today.

However, the displays of deep affection did not end there. He has made me feel so truly wonderful and special this week by simple, thoughtful gestures and looks. He has met me after my last class each day since and walked me to my office. He has surprised me with boxes of ginger newts and my favorite blends of tea. We have shared walks around the grounds after dinner each night and I have found more than one note tucked safely between my lesson plans describing how I make him feel. But the most exciting and telling display happened only this afternoon.

Classes had just ended and I was anticipating his arrival but failed to hear him enter. Stealthily he crossed the room and before I knew it, his arms had wrapped themselves around my waist and he began to playfully nuzzle my neck, igniting tiny fires upon my skin. The rush of emotions overtook me and before thinking, I turned in his arms and planted a hungering kiss on his lips, leaving us both blushing and breathless. It was only when we broke apart that I realized he had failed to close the door. Anyone could have seen us but thankfully we were spared the embarrassment of having been discovered in our little snog session. Although I can't say that I would change my reaction to his advances in the least!

He has invited me on a proper date this weekend and I must say that I have never anticipated anything more in my life. He makes me feel so loved and special and I shudder to think of what might have happened if we had not resolved the issue between us. These feelings of bliss are too wonderful to ever fully describe and I believe that in some small way I have this journal to thank for helping me uncover my hidden desires and then act upon them. Now if only the weekend would hurry and arrive. I cannot wait to see what he has planned for us but I know that it will be an amazing adventure as long as we are together. And a few kisses wouldn't hurt either so I'll have to ensure that those dreams become a reality.