TITLE: Snapshots
SUMMARY: Dawn keeps a collection of pictures of everyone she's met.
PAIRINGS: Most from the series
RATING: PG-13(one swear word)
I collect pictures of the people I've met. Occasionally I go through them and count how many of them are dead. They're a tribute to the fallen.
There's one of Buffy, Willow and Xander. Though I didn't find out until later, Buffy had been the first to die since we had come to Sunnydale.
There's a picture I stole from Buffy during my klepto stage of Willow, Xander, Giles and a woman I onl know by name and a few pictures I've found - Jenny Calender. Its been almost eight years but Giles still cringes every time the name Jenny is mentioned. The only other picture I found of Jenny was in Giles' desk drawer. She was kind of smiling and a few strands of her hair were blowing across her face. I could tell Giles had taken the picture from the way she was looking at the camera. She's dead. No one ever talks about her because she was murdered by Angel and left in Giles' bed for him to find.
There are no pictures of Buffy and Angel, or Buffy and Spike - vampires can't have their picture taken. But Buffy gave me the book of poetry she got for her 18th birthday from Angel. She said she was trusting me to look after it because she couldn't always think about these things and would hate if she lost it forever. I jammed it into a seat on the bus before the final Sunnydale battle.
There's one Cordelia gave to me the day she left. It was a surprise because Cordelia was almost never generous and it was a picture of her and Xander. Actually, it was a picture of her, Xander, Willow and Oz at the boardwalk. She had bent down, looked me right in the eyes and for the first time talked to me like I was an adult. It was a long time before someone did that again. "This is the only picture of me and Xander I didn't burn when we broke up. This is a picture to remember me by after I leave for Los Angeles. I look really great." As far as I knows, I was the last person Cordelia talked to before leaving because she got into her red car and sped away. Buffy says she's dead now.
Oz is gone too but no one knows if he's dead or not.
There's one of Buffy and mom that Ted had taken from the fridge and Buffy had gotten back. There's a crease down the middle right between Buffy and mom. I feel silly thinking about Ted now because I ate all those cookies and mini pizzas and was one of his biggest fans like Xander.
There's a few pictures from Christmas in 1998. Ones of me, Buffy, Faith and mom. Those were the last pictures of Faith before she went over to the mayor. Buffy stabbed her to save Angel but she came out of her coma in 2000 and tied me and mom up and threatened to kill us. I really didn't like her then, but then, times change.
There's a lot of pictures of Riley lying around. It was easy to get a couple of those from Buffy, she took them all down from around her mirror and hid them under her socks. Riley came back to Sunnydale recently with his wife Sam. Sam was amazing and he loves her but if Buffy ever wanted him back I'm pretty certain Riley would come running. You don't stop loving someone like Buffy.
There's a picture taken just two weeks before my mother died. Mom had been feeling good so Buffy and I had everyone over to celebrate her recovery. Xander and Anya had set up a camera to take our picture with only a little arguing. It's probably my absolute favourite picture. Mom is in the middle of the sofa with me and Buffy on either side. Giles sat on Buffy's side, looking comfortable for the first time in a while. Anya, Xander, Willow and Tara are sitting on the floor, almost on top of everyone's feet. The respective couples have their arms slung over each other's shoulders. Sometimes when I look at this picture I feel sick to my stomach. Mom, Tara and Anya are dead.
When mom died, I thought I would never cry as hard or hurt as much as I did burying my own mother. A year and a half later Tara was murdered by that bastard Warren. Even though Tara was only my sister's best friend's girlfriend (fuck, that sounds so distant) she was a good friend. Tara's death was worse somehow. Mom had died from natural causes, more or less, and no matter how much Buffy fantasized about saving her, it wouldn't have happened. Mom had lived for a long time, she had one grown up daughter and a lot of things to show for her life. And Tara had only lived 21 years. Willow had been her first kiss, her first everything and it wasn't her time to die like mom, it was stolen from her.
The only picture I has of Cassie is one I printed off her website. It's small and blurry and she's really,r really young but Sunnydale High had no yearbook due to the Hellmouth collapsing and school being shut down. I didn't know Cassie that well but I feel a need to keep her picture around anyway.
There weren't many pictures taken once the Potentials took over the house but I made Andrew print off some screen captures from his camcorder. So I have some slightly pixelated pictures of Rona and Molly and Amanda. You've got to remember the dead.
I finished high school last year in Rome. There's a picture of that too. They don't wear graduation gowns in Italy so I'm in a dark red dress. Giles and Xander came from England, Willow and Kennedy from Egypt and Faith tagged along with Giles too. She said she wanted to see her little brat graduate. We're all in that picture. I always smile when I look at this one because Faith is at the end staring at me. That night she kissed me.
Everytime someone new dies I look at these pictures as a tribute. It's weird to be looking at these pictures and think happy thought because so many of them are dead. Angel and Spike and Wes are dead, Willow told us. Buffy is still in mourning even though its been months and months. She broke up with The Immortal because he told her to forget them.
I feel sick thinking that Buffy cries in her room mourning her first love and I have my first love licking my neck and telling me that she loves me. I think loving heroes is the hardest thing all. And all I've ever known is heroes.