DISCLAIMER: Sure I own Buffy the vampire slayer – same as the earth is flat and my teachers never give me homework! Same goes for Evanescence's songs.

This is basically Dru's point of view from the time when Angelus killed her family until she rises as a vampire. The first chapter is what she is thinking when he forces her to watch him and Darla kill her family.

I got the idea from the lyrics of Evanescence's 'Whisper' (the parts in italics are the actual lyrics).

This fic is dedicated to my two best friends Kenren T and Konzen, who got me hooked onto fanfics.

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The Massacre

Screams…

Blood…

Death…

My God….

"Catch me as I fall"

Why won't you save me? Why won't you make it stop?

"Say you're here and it's all over now"

Why won't you answer me? Is it true that I am the child of the devil? Don't I deserve to be saved?

"No one's here and I fall into myself

The truth drives me into madness"

Dead. All of them. He killed them all, one by one. Slowly…

"I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away"

I try to close my mind to it all. This can't be really happening. It must be a nightmare…one of the hundreds I've had throughout my life.

"Don't turn away"

he tells me, smiling cruelly.

"Don't give in to the pain"

I tell myself.

"Don't try to hide"

the two devils tell me, "There's nowhere left for you to hide."

Neither of you have any mercy on my sisters

"Though they're screaming your name"

"Don't close your eyes"

You want me to witness your monstrous acts.

But I withdraw into myself.

My family has passed through eternity's doors…

"God knows what lies behind them"

I fear I never will.

"I'm frightened by what I see"

I never imagined so much suffering in the world – let alone in my own sitting room.

"But somehow I know there's much more to come"

Death would be a release from this agony.

Yet he will never release me until I am completely destroyed.

"Immobilized by my fear

and soon to be blinded by tears"

But before mourning I must run-

for otherwise he will see to it that I am damned.

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The Convent

"I can stop the pain if I will it all away"

I must learn to forget what happened,

Pray for my family's souls.

May God embrace mine once more

And cleanse it from the horror that is Angelus.

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Chapter Two should be up soon.

This is my first solo fic so I'd really love to be reviewed, even a couple of words just so that I know that whoever is reading it liked it!