Disclaimer: I don't own the characters on "The West Wing" or have rights to Shania Twain's song, "That Don't Impress Me Much". (This song is on "Come On Over".)
Spoilers: General through the fifth season, and one brief reference to a scene in the episode "In the Shadow of Two Gunmen"
Category: Song-fic (Part 2/3), Donna POV
Thanks for reading and reviewing my last chapter! J
That Don't Impress Me Much
"Well, just to let you know, I feel like such a fool. I actually let Ainsley set me up again, naturally with another Republican," I say. That should have been my first clue. I cannot understand why I let her talk me into another blind date. I was miserable the whole night, and her definition of "really great guys" are really, really awful.
"Uh…Donna?" I hear my boss's voice. "Are you all right? You seemed to just stop talking." Now I feel my cheeks heating up. I must've thought I was talking when I was really just thinking to myself.
"Yes, I'm sorry," I interject quickly. I don't want Josh to start making fun of me again. He's been, for the most part, very sweet about the whole situation, which actually surprised me. He's never that understanding of my dates. "Anyway, this is what happened," I say, already thinking back a couple nights ago.
2 nights ago
"Hi, my name's David…you must be Donna?" David greeted me. Of course, first impressions are very important to me, so at the first glance of my date, when I see a nice-looking, dark-haired guy, I immediately flipped my hair back and gave him a bright smile.
"Yes, I'm very pleased to meet you," I said. I hope I didn't sound too eager.
"Me too," he said. "Are you ready to go inside?" We were at a nice Italian restaurant.
"Sounds great," I answered. We walked inside and were immediately seated. I asked about his family and background. I learned he had two brothers and one sister. His mother had passed away about five years ago to cancer and his father was a doctor. He went to Harvard to study law, but currently works for a Republican senator from Indiana.
"So…about you…what do you do?" David asked me. "I know you work in the White House, but that's pretty much all I know."
"Well, I'm an assistant," I told him. "I work for the deputy chief of staff, Josh Lyman, and my day usually consists of doing whatever it is that he needs…" my voice trailed off as David's cell phone started to ring. David jumped up in a rush and hurried to the nearest corner, almost colliding with a waitress. I figured it was an important phone call, but finally after nearly five minutes I looked over at him and he was laughing into the phone, obviously enjoying the date interruption. I sighed and tapped my heel impatiently under the table. David finally returned to the table, his lame excuse about something coming up at work definitely did not fool me. However, in an effort to be polite, I decided to ignore his rudeness and focus on the rest of the night. Big mistake…
By the time our appetizers had arrived, David had managed to insult just about everything I believe in and support, which was actually nothing compared to his egotistical and selfish personality.
Okay, so you've got a
car
That don't impress me much
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're all right
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night
"So, Donna? What kind of car do you drive? Everything I do in my free time involves cars, ironically, in some way or another," David asks. It was the first question he asked me after returning to the table. I told him.
"That piece of junk?!?!" he exclaimed. "That definitely won't do for my girlfriend. I will help you find a better, more suitable vehicle for you to drive." Okay, there were two problems at that point. First, he assumed that I was his girlfriend, and second, of course, he just offended me with his "you have to find a better car to be good enough for me" comment. While I admit he didn't actually say those exact words, it was implied. I didn't respond to his statement and just hoped the topic of conversation would change. Luckily (or maybe not so luckily) for me, the subject did change…this time he practically spoke a monologue on how he cleverly acquired his job from his best friend's cousin's fiancée or someone, I honestly stopped listening. I was too busy humming a tune in my head.
I've known a few guys
who thought they were pretty smart
But you've got being right down to an art
You think you're a genius you drive me up the wall
You're a regular original a know it all
"So, anyway, I ended up running into his cousin and his wife-to-be, who was working for Senator Isaacs from Indiana at the time. Of course, his cousin gets on my every last nerve, but his fiancée had offered me a job. Naturally, being over-qualified for the position, I politely declined the offer. Then, bam! One Sunday afternoon, I'm sitting out in my brand-new Mercedes Benz, just drinking some iced tea and soaking up the sun when I get a call from Senator Isaacs from Indiana! He said, 'I understand Betsy, who works under me, offered you a job and you declined. I am in a going to win the seat in Indiana and I am calling to personally offer you a job position in my office. I have heard from some of my employees of your impressive job experience and performance, and I would very much like to make you part of the staff.' He went on and on to tell me all about the job, which was the same job that Betsy, his fiancée offered. I again, politely said no. Then Senator Isaacs sighed, paused, and offered me a different, much more prominent position on his staff. I told him I would think about it for a couple days and get back to him. Just like that, bam! A great, well-paying job. All you gotta do is know what you want."
I briefly wondered what David would have thought about me practically hiring myself in Josh's office during the campaign. I don't think he would have been very impressed with that. On the other hand, he didn't ever seem to tire of the sound of his own voice, so I didn't get a chance to tell him about that incident.
Luckily, just then our main courses arrived. I twirled some spaghetti viciously and shoved it in my mouth, trying at least to enjoy the food, if not the company. Unfortunately for me, David was pretty intent on making the evening a completely miserable time for me.
I never knew a guy who
carried a mirror in his pocket
And a comb up his sleeve--just in case
And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it
'Cause heaven forbid it should fall outta place
During dinner, I found myself completely bored and annoyed by David's lack of interest in anything that involved me or, to be more specific, in anything that did not involve him. The worst point, however, came during dessert when he excused himself for a minute to use the restroom.
"All right. Well, I gotta go to the men's room for a minute, do you mind terribly?"
I silently thanked the heavens, at least he was polite this time. "Oh, of course not." I said, probably a little too happily. He left and I all but jumped for joy. Dessert was almost over and soon I could be at home reading a good book. This would absolutely be the last blind date I would ever go on, I vowed. A few minutes later, David returned and just as he was sitting down again, I saw him slip a comb into his front pocket. He must have interrupted dessert to comb his hair. That even struck me as strange…that is, until I saw two young scantily dressed, probably college-age girls waiting for a table. They winked at him, and I rolled my eyes. David, however, seemed to enjoy this, and he quickly checked his hair in a little pocket mirror and tried to get the girls' attention again. When he couldn't meet their eyes, he quickly left his seat to talk to them.
"I…uh, I have to go now," he said abruptly. What romantic last words for our date. I watched as he walked up to the girls, introduced himself, and within two minutes, walked out of the restaurant, arms linked between them and got into his car. I was shocked by this final display of rudeness, but the bill still needed to be paid and my dessert was not yet done. I quietly finished my dessert, paid the bill, and left the restaurant in my "not good enough" car.
"So…that was my terrible date," I finish telling Josh. Even two days later, I feel ridiculous. Josh is staring at me, dumbfounded.
"Donna," he begins, but I interrupt him.
"I know, I know," I say. "You think he treated me awful, I can't choose guys any better myself, Republicans are no good, and Ainsley is really bad at setting people up."
Josh smiled a little. "You just said what I was trying to nicely paraphrase."
I smile sadly. "Josh, sometimes I just think no one in the world is right for me."
Josh looks at me for a few moments and then embraces me gently. "I don't think you truly know how special you are. You're one of a kind." He then releases me and goes back to work. For a long time, though, I ponder his comments and think about how I always feel like I'm at home in his arms. I wonder why the world feels perfect when I am close to him. I cannot be in love with him…that's not reasonable. And even if I was in love with him…he is not in love with me. Or is he?