Chapter 2: We can't be arsed, and in Bray
When Frog finally bothered to get his lazy arse out of Bog End (the habbit- hole where he and Bibbo lived), he went to find his friends, Sumone (pronounced some-one obviously...) Gadget (or Sum for short), Pip-pop Take and Merrid Brandnew. Being stupid (and completely gullible) they went with him.
They travelled out of Habbitdown, through Brandhand, and out of Habbitland completely. Along the way, if they ever bothered to talk to each other, much of the conversation involved their favourite words- "I can't be arsed".
Eventually they reached Bray. This was a dirty and smelly little town, which was, in the words of Frog himself, "completely crap". They walked through the streets, towering above everyone- Bray was inhabited by Min, and Habbits were the tallest creatures of the Stuck Peoples of In-Betweeny- Place. The habbits decided to stay in the only inn, which was called The Dancing Donkey. They walked up to the desk, where the innkeeper Old Arsehole was sitting.
"Hello young habbits. Are looking for somewhere to stay? If so, we have some large, but cosy, habbit-sized rooms available, Mr...er...?"
"Overill. My name is Overill" replied Frog (Grandold had told him that The Sour One's ghosty-wraithy things, the Ringbreezers, were looking for the magic ring. They knew that the one who had it went by the name of Boggins, so Grandold had told Frog to call himself Overill).
"Okay then, Mr. Overill, I'll show you to your rooms".
Old Arsehole led them up some stairs, to a large room with four beds in it.
"I hope to see you down in the bar" he said.
"Okay, we'll be down in a bit", replied Frog.
Five minutes later, they were down in the bar trying to get as pissed as possible on good old beer from Beeror (there was a serious shortage of Bacardi Breezers since The Sour One had started steeling them).
"That guy in the corner has been staring at you ever since we sat down. Do you reckon he's gay and fancies you or summin?" Sum asked Frog.
Frog called Old Arsehole over and asked him, "That guy in the corner who is he? And why the fk is he staring at me?"
"I dunno why he's staring at you and I don't really care. As for hiss name, he's never bothered to tell me, so round here he's known as Slyguy".
"Oooookaaaaay. That's weird" remarked Frog, sounding very worried.
Just then he had a sudden urge (kwtschh!!!) to put the ring on, so he did. Everything went fuzzy, and Frog suddenly realized that he was invisible. He heard Sum scream and he turned around. Just then, he felt someone grab the back of his jacket. At this moment he had two thoughts, both ultimately meaning 'shit I'm dead'. Firstly, he remembered that when someone puts on the ring the Ringbreezers are drawn to it, and if they find the one who is wearing it, they'll kill them. Secondly, the person who had grabbed him was Slyguy, and from the look on his face, Frog thought he was going to kill him. Slyguy pulled him upstairs and into an empty room.
"God he really is gay and now he's gonna try to shag me. Great, just what I need. Really perfect" thought Frog.
"WHY THE FK DID YOU PUT THE RING ON YOU ARSEY STUPID HABBIT???!!!" demanded Slyguy.
"Careful. I'm taller and stronger than you" thought Frog.
"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND I DEMAND AN ANSWER. I REPEAT, WHY DID YOU PUT THE BLOODY RING ON?" shouted Slyguy.
"I had an urge to and I couldn't resist it" replied Frog (obviously not realizing how dodgy he sounded).
"Okay, but I thought Grandold told you that you have to resist, or the Ringbreezers will come after you".
"He did, but I told you I COULDN'T RESIST" shouted Frog.
"Keep your voice down will you" ordered Slyguy.
"Hypocrite" replied Frog.
Just then, Sum, Pip-pop and Merrid entered, looking scared and confused.
"What did we miss?" they asked.
"Nothing much" replied Slyguy, "Look you four, the Ringbreezers are coming. You'd better hide in my room, and I'll lead you to Riverhell in the morning. I am a friend of Grandold's and know the full details of your quest. Now get some rest all of you; I'll keep watch" said Slyguy; answering all Frog's questions at once (the rest were two dumb to have any).
When Frog finally bothered to get his lazy arse out of Bog End (the habbit- hole where he and Bibbo lived), he went to find his friends, Sumone (pronounced some-one obviously...) Gadget (or Sum for short), Pip-pop Take and Merrid Brandnew. Being stupid (and completely gullible) they went with him.
They travelled out of Habbitdown, through Brandhand, and out of Habbitland completely. Along the way, if they ever bothered to talk to each other, much of the conversation involved their favourite words- "I can't be arsed".
Eventually they reached Bray. This was a dirty and smelly little town, which was, in the words of Frog himself, "completely crap". They walked through the streets, towering above everyone- Bray was inhabited by Min, and Habbits were the tallest creatures of the Stuck Peoples of In-Betweeny- Place. The habbits decided to stay in the only inn, which was called The Dancing Donkey. They walked up to the desk, where the innkeeper Old Arsehole was sitting.
"Hello young habbits. Are looking for somewhere to stay? If so, we have some large, but cosy, habbit-sized rooms available, Mr...er...?"
"Overill. My name is Overill" replied Frog (Grandold had told him that The Sour One's ghosty-wraithy things, the Ringbreezers, were looking for the magic ring. They knew that the one who had it went by the name of Boggins, so Grandold had told Frog to call himself Overill).
"Okay then, Mr. Overill, I'll show you to your rooms".
Old Arsehole led them up some stairs, to a large room with four beds in it.
"I hope to see you down in the bar" he said.
"Okay, we'll be down in a bit", replied Frog.
Five minutes later, they were down in the bar trying to get as pissed as possible on good old beer from Beeror (there was a serious shortage of Bacardi Breezers since The Sour One had started steeling them).
"That guy in the corner has been staring at you ever since we sat down. Do you reckon he's gay and fancies you or summin?" Sum asked Frog.
Frog called Old Arsehole over and asked him, "That guy in the corner who is he? And why the fk is he staring at me?"
"I dunno why he's staring at you and I don't really care. As for hiss name, he's never bothered to tell me, so round here he's known as Slyguy".
"Oooookaaaaay. That's weird" remarked Frog, sounding very worried.
Just then he had a sudden urge (kwtschh!!!) to put the ring on, so he did. Everything went fuzzy, and Frog suddenly realized that he was invisible. He heard Sum scream and he turned around. Just then, he felt someone grab the back of his jacket. At this moment he had two thoughts, both ultimately meaning 'shit I'm dead'. Firstly, he remembered that when someone puts on the ring the Ringbreezers are drawn to it, and if they find the one who is wearing it, they'll kill them. Secondly, the person who had grabbed him was Slyguy, and from the look on his face, Frog thought he was going to kill him. Slyguy pulled him upstairs and into an empty room.
"God he really is gay and now he's gonna try to shag me. Great, just what I need. Really perfect" thought Frog.
"WHY THE FK DID YOU PUT THE RING ON YOU ARSEY STUPID HABBIT???!!!" demanded Slyguy.
"Careful. I'm taller and stronger than you" thought Frog.
"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND I DEMAND AN ANSWER. I REPEAT, WHY DID YOU PUT THE BLOODY RING ON?" shouted Slyguy.
"I had an urge to and I couldn't resist it" replied Frog (obviously not realizing how dodgy he sounded).
"Okay, but I thought Grandold told you that you have to resist, or the Ringbreezers will come after you".
"He did, but I told you I COULDN'T RESIST" shouted Frog.
"Keep your voice down will you" ordered Slyguy.
"Hypocrite" replied Frog.
Just then, Sum, Pip-pop and Merrid entered, looking scared and confused.
"What did we miss?" they asked.
"Nothing much" replied Slyguy, "Look you four, the Ringbreezers are coming. You'd better hide in my room, and I'll lead you to Riverhell in the morning. I am a friend of Grandold's and know the full details of your quest. Now get some rest all of you; I'll keep watch" said Slyguy; answering all Frog's questions at once (the rest were two dumb to have any).