Sinful Addiction

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Warning: Story contains shounen-ai and incest. If you find this unnerving, I suggest you to leave immediately. You've been warned. *No flame*

Note: I've rewritten chapter III twice, I guess some of you've already noticed. And I apologize for it. My stories are unbetaed (except for my one and only yet unfinished FF8 fic) and when I reread chapter III, I found that it was too blunt, so I decided to fix it a little. I hope you don't mind. I'm really sorry. T_T

By the way, some parts in this chapter (those written in Italic) are done in POV. I hope you don't mind. I got an idea for this chapter when I saw a picture in the manga. The one with Sasuke playing flute. And sorry that I took it so long to update. You all still there?

Chapter IV: Distance duet

I hate it whenever I look into the mirror. I hate it when I see my own face. Blood-red eyes glare unblinkingly back at me, cold and piercing as ever, as if they feel nothing. Nothing at all. Blank. Vacant. Empty. Like an endless void. Even I, myself, could hardly believe that there was still tear there, for I believed it was all dried up long, long ago and I was nothing but a heartless bastard.

I still am. Yet it's there, the only evidence of my emotion...the trace of that single tear lingering on my cheek. It's still there, for I didn't wipe it away. The only sign of my sinful pain and sorrow...my emotions.

I've managed to shut these emotions away for so long. Why does it hurt so much all of a sudden? Why does it hurt so much to let someone know that I care? Someone I love so much...someone that is always out of reach...someone I shouldn't fall for...someone that is always in my mind. Dream or reality, his images are always there--everything he does, every mood he is in, whether good or bad, joyful or sad, they are always there.

Even now that I'm standing before the mirror, I can see his shadow in me. We look so much alike. Black hair, pale skin and eyes, Sharingan or not...it won't take a genius to know that we are brothers. And that strikes me. Hard. I rest my cheek against the mirror's cold surface. The reflection there becomes blur as my warm breath makes a light touch.

What's so different between brotherly love and this love I have?

...It's that the former one doesn't hurt so much as the latter. And it never will.

I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. And when I open them once more, the red shade is replaced with absolute black. I press my lips against the solid surface, pretending that it isn't my own reflection I see there. Yet I know more than enough that it will never be so.

"Forgive me." That, I've told you but I never hope for your forgiveness. Let this truth die with me. And we won't have to suffer anymore, both you and I.

~*~*~

Kakashi looked up from his beloved Icha Icha Paradise, observing the scence before him. It was another day of their usual training day but this time it was different. Naruto and Sasuke didn't put up a fight or threw sarcastical comments at each other to Sakura's great astonishment. For Sasuke, it didn't surprise him. He knew what the boy had been through lately. Although the boy told him himself that he would be okay, the jounin was still worried. But for Naruto...

The usually-hyperactive-boy was surprisingly quiet and he just sat quietly under the tree, resting his head against the large trunk instead of jumping and messing around. He looked weary and had dark traces under his eyes. "Oh my god! Naruto, you look freakily similar to that insomniac Sand nin!" joked Sakura, trying to cheer him up since she thought the words 'Naruto' and 'quiet' didn't get along.

The kitsune boy stayed indifferent. Sakura blinked and poked him. Once. Twice. He didn't move. The pink haired-girl continued to poke him but he just sat as still. Finally Sakura became annoyed and let Inner Sakura take over. She slapped him hard across the cheek, leaving a red handprint there.

"Itai! What was that for!?" Naruto immediately sprung to his feet, looking at her accusingly but dropped back on his former position a minute later. Sakura looked pissed but before she could start yelling at him, Kakashi spoke up: "I think we've had enough for today."

"But sensei, we haven't-" Sakura began to protest but Kakashi cut her off. "I don't think Naruto could go on with the training. The same for Sasuke here." The said raven haired-boy gave him a sharp glare, which he simply ignored. "And since we don't have any mission today, you can go home now."

"Al-alright." Sakura nodded and turned to leave. And as if hearing what his sensei had said, Naruto stood up as well. He began walking with his head still bent low, snoring all the way home. It seemed he was walking while he was still sleeping, murmuring something that sounded like 'Gai and barbershop'. Weird that he was able to make his way right home without any accident.

Kakashi chuckled as he watched the boy until his back disappeared from his sight. He barely noticed the daggers the Uchiha boy glared at him until he turned to look at the boy. "What do you mean I couldn't go on with training?" The raven haired-boy grimaced. Kakashi sighed. Dealing with Sasuke wasn't as easy as he thought.

"I can't see why we should continue. You didn't seem to focus at all." he said, putting the Icha Icha Paradise aside and met the boy's obsidian gaze squarely. Sasuke shifted his gaze to his feet, looking like a little child who had just done something wrong. He felt uncomfortable under the silver-grey haired-jounin's gaze.

A hand touched his chin, cupping it between its thumb and index finger. "I don't like it when you avoid me in the eyes. Look at me, Sasuke. Do you think I look like someone you cannot trust?" And he tilted the boy's delicate chin up, making him look straight at his face. His exposed face. Sasuke gasped at what he saw. So much had been hidden under that mask. There weren't any scar as he expected it to be. Fair skin and fair face. Such beauty...

"I..." The raven haired-boy found himself completely lost for words. All he could do at the moment was stare at the beauty revealed before him unblinkingly, unawared of the jounin's gaze that was now fixing on his parting lips.

Kakashi mentally cursed himself as he did it. He knew this wasn't the right time for this but he couldn't stop himself as he bent his head down, capturing the boy's sweet lips with his own. Sasuke's eyes widened as he did this and the boy tried to turn his head away but couldn't, for it was that strong grip on his chin that prevent him to do so. It didn't take long before he finally gave in, letting Kakashi's tongue slide inside his mouth.

As the kiss deepened, Sasuke's legs seemed to go weak under his knees and if it wasn't for the jounin's strong arm around his waist that support him, he would have melt into puddle on the ground. His head began to spin. It was like a small eternity. He didn't know where he was. He didn't care who he was. He just let himself lose into it and forget everything. Yet when they parted, breathless, the first word that fleeted from his lips made him froze...

"Itachi."

His brother's name.

~*~*~

I raise the flute to my lips. So soft at first, the melody sounds. Like a whisper. I remember back then, when I was younger and happier, before this forbidden feeling invaded my soul, I often sat under a sakura tree, playing my favorite instrument. And I remember that he would come sitting nearby, listening to the music I played. And he would ask in that childish voice of his: "Can you teach me to play a flute like you?"

Strange. I didn't have time to teach him how to throw shurikens but I did have time for teaching him how to play flute. Maybe it was because this selfishness of mine that I didn't want to taint him with blood. Yet I did it with blood of our clan and in the end...it'll be my own.

My fingers move with much more speed and more of the notes come out. Distant and Solemn is the melody. Distant like those happy memories that seem far, far away. So far that I could hardly hear his sweet laughter ring cheerfully whenever I played my songs. Now it's just I and I alone, playing my flute solemnly.

My face shows no emotions but emotions, so many emotions are evident in the song I play. Every single note, every part of the song... But never on my face.

My fingers stop moving as I notice the movement behind the bush. For a moment, I wish it was my little brother coming out from his little hiding. That's too much to ask for.

It's just a hare.

Its red eyes stare straight at me and it doesn't move from the position as if waiting for me to resume playing. Strangely enough, for I don't always do anyone's biding but those red eyes...they remind me so much of mine...and his. And so I raise the flute to my lips once more, playing the one and only song that came to my mind at the moment.

A duet.

~*~*~

Sasuke sat on a chair next to the fully opened window, looking out blankly. The breeze blew into the room, making the temperature a little cooler. On the table lay still a silver flute that reflected the last light of the day on its shiny metallic surface.

The door creaked open as another presence came into the room, approaching him silently. It seemed like the boy was unawared of this but in reality, he was. "I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei." he said vaguely, still looking out of the window. The jounin sighed and wrapped his arms around the small frame. "You don't have to. It was my fault."

On hearing that, the raven haired-boy whirled around almost instantly. "No, It wasn't!" This time he met the jounin's gaze without avoiding it although he noticed that Kakashi had had his face-cover up again. "Sensei, I-" He began but was silenced by Kakashi's finger on his lips. "Sh. Don't say anything. Don't think about it now, okay?"

Sasuke nodded mutely. Kakashi had already known what he was about to say. It was strange but true that Kakashi could read him so easily like he was reading a book.

The silver-grey haired-jounin's eyes now rest on the silver flute on the wooden table. "Play me a song, will you?" The boy gave him a look but did what he was told. He grabbed the flute and raised it to his lips. As those slender fingers began moving, the music began, filling the fading evening with its fascinating yet mournful tone. Kakashi watched in fascination how those slender fingers moved skillfully and fluidly--like they were dancing without making any mistake, making a song of their own.

As he sat there, listening to the sweet yet solemn melody, Kakashi started to think that it would be a shame if Sasuke broke his fine fingers in a fight. He was so talent. He knew that the one who taught the boy such thing must have the very same thought. As he listened more and more, it became more exciplit...the longing tone in every single notes. Jealousy suddenly rushed through him. Itachi was constantly on Sasuke's mind--hatred or love whether what it was. Yet he wasn't sure what the boy was feeling right now.

"What you did was an act of a coward who tried to escape from the truth. You made him suffer." And you made yourself suffer, Itachi. Is it so hard to tell someone that you love him? You fear of rejection? Conviction? Pity. To love someone holds such great pain. And the sinful one for you.

Sharp pain stabbed him in the heart. He didn't want Sasuke to suffer yet he loved this boy so much that he didn't want to let go.

Gentle wisp of wind touched his now masked face, caressing it with its gentleness. The beautiful music echoed through the approaching night. Yet as much as he appreciated the song Sasuke played, he knew some parts if it were missing.

It's supposed to be a duet...

He looked out of the window, gazing at the rising moon. Somewhere under the same sky, he had a feeling that someone was playing those missing parts.

TBC

Nothing much for this chapter. I know but I want to elaborate the character's feeling a little more. Sorry if it's boring. I promise it'll get better in next chapters. *sob*

REVIEW pretty please and NO FLAME!

You know what I need review for, right? *puppy dog eyes*