Lord of the Armors
By Caspian NyghtvisionPart Two: Cast of Characters
To All Rabid 'Rings Fans: Please don't fault me for messing with the LotR canon. It's almost impossible to write crossovers without causing distortions. If you want proof of my good intentions, I will recite Eldarion's family tree back to Melian and Thingol for you.
To All Rabid 'Ronin Fans: Same goes for all of you. If you want proof of my good intentions, I will recite the original Japanese names of every Ronin, Warlord and most bit parts, plus I will provide useless random bits of knowledge at no extra cost. For example, 'Talpa' is Latin for 'mole.'
Also, I suppose I should mention this for clarity. Consider it a Lord of the Rings Crash Course, as well as an insight into my confused little mind. (produces pointer)
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
RYO will be playing FRODO, for obvious reasons. Besides the similarity of features, similar names and Enormous Blue Eyes of Doom, both have a slightly annoying tendency to steal every scene. Also, both like to wander around being Angsty and Responsible until Somebody beats them with a Stick.
HARIEL will be playing both BILBO and ISILDUR. (Isildur: rather stupid King who refused to chuck The Ring into the volcano. Has about 3.2 seconds screen-time in movie, where he chops off Sauron's finger.)
YULIE will be playing GOLLUM, again for obvious reasons. Both are short, creepy evil spawns of Satan who like to follow Angsty Main Characters around until the Angsty Main Characters go mad. Both deserve to be chucked into volcanoes at the end. (Ryo greatly regrets not chucking Yulie into the volcano the first time he had the chance. Now he will.)
ANUBIS will be playing ARAGORN, the Kingly Main Character. You must all love, worship and adore Anubis. (pulls out picture of Anubis and passes it around) I shall make subtle references to Anubis's greatness throughout this fic. If you are not rabid Anubis fans by the end of this fic, I shall be very disappointed.
SEKHMET, glorious Sekhmet, will be playing GRIMA "WORMTONGUE," because he has to, but he will not be a total bad guy, because I love him. You must all love and adore Sekhmet and glomp him muchly.
PROFESSOR KOJI will play THEODEN (the possessed old king) because he is the right age, and he also gives small children nightmares. DENETHOR's role has been cannibalized into this one, because there are not enough scary bearded men to go around. It should work out fine.
BADAMON will be SARUMAN, although he is too short. The fact that Badamon is blue and transparent should be overlooked.
THE NETHERSPIRITS have agreed to play THE RINGWRAITHS, but instead of screeching like a garbage truck with bad air brakes, they shall play eerie high-pitched flute music like a garbage truck with bad air brakes. They are contractually obliged to wear black, but have decided against using giant black horses.
THE SUN DEVIL will be the BALROG. snigger
MIA will be ARWEN, in the sense that she is Anubis's love interest. Kayura looked more like Arwen, but the author does not want to go there. In a blatant canon distortion, she will also be GALADRIEL.
KAYURA will be EOWYN, in the sense that she is a kick-ass girl and an incredibly cool character.
THE ANCIENT must be GANDALF, though he will have a slightly more Zen philosophy. (i.e., he's supposed to be incomprehensible, for the enlightenment of your mind.) The Ancient is happy to have the part, and he says, quote, "What is the sound of one toaster barking?"
TALPA will be SAURON, though he'll be a Giant Disembodied Head rather than a Giant Disembodied Eye.
SAGE will be LEGOLAS, due to his blondness, Physically Impossibly Perfect Hair, fangirl appeal, and his tendencies to wear green, climb trees, glow in the dark, and randomly say pointless-but-attractive things.
CYE will be SAM, because he's got the hair, the frying pan, and the mothering instinct. Also, he has the valuable ability to look utterly adorable when pissed off. The author promises to take very good care of our cute little Cye.
KENTO will be GIMLI, because this amuses the author. She loves Gimli and Kento and can't understand why no fangirls want them. (Except Rogue Ronin, of course. .) She huggles them muchly and wants to have them in her closet, so they can kill things for her and go "AUCH!" Kento will be supplied with lots of cheeseburgers and plenty of things to obliterate.
THE NETHERWORLD will be MORDOR. It did not have much say in this, as it is not an animate being.
MISC. DYNASTY SOLDIERS will be ASSORTED EXPENDABLE ORCS. They have been supplied by Mindless-Minions-R'-Us.
SUIKO (JAWBREAKER) THE ORCA WHALE will be the WATCHER IN THE WATER. The author realizes these characters may be obscure for your average or garden fan: the Watcher in the Water is the giant squid-like creature that lives in the puddle outside Moria, and Jawbreaker (Suiko) is Cye's friend the orca.
A RANDOM SPIDER BELONGING TO DAIS will be SHELOB. (We may have to feed the spider Miracle-Gro™ before it reaches the correct size.)
WHITE BLAZE will play SHADOWFAX. (Shadowfax is the giant slow-motion white horse who gallops in slowly whenever Gandalf whistles.) Nobody should notice that he is actually a tiger, though he is white.
BLACK BLAZE will be THE FELL BEAST that the Witch-King rides. He will also be called upon to play Minor Parts of Evil.™
LORD SABERSTRYKE can be the Witch-King, just because.
DAIS and CALE were going to be Merry and Pippin, or perhaps they were going to split Boromir's part. Unfortunately there is no good replacement for Boromir, and Merry and Pip just wouldn't work. You'll just have to wait and see.
There is no Ronin canon character who could ever take the place of LORD ELROND. However, the all-around-incredible Lord Halfelven is bearer of Vilya, the Ring of Air. This is similar enough to Rowen's powers to do a quick shuffle-up. However, the part will be changed; you'll see how.
All 'Rings bit-parts will be taken care of—don't worry.
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Reviewer responses. And be warned, I'm in a hyper and immature mood right now. Expect glomping, running around, weasel pliers, and extreme randomness.
Rogue Ronin: ROGUE! (flying tackle) HI! Thanks so much for stopping by, Rogue! (steps back and points Rogue out to random passersby, childishly) This is my OLDEST friend in fanfiction. ROGUE! (glomps her again)
Lli: LLI! (repeats the Caspian Glompage Performance™) Lli darling, I appreciate you more every review and glomp you muchly. I still do not know how you manage to read in so many fandoms… Please don't implode, I would miss you. In the meantime, I should probably put a warning notice on the fic. (frowns) Here, have a pair of weasel pliers, you might find them useful.
Lady Aymberya: It FITS? (randomly runs outside and looks at fic) You're right… it does! Sort of. I hope it will help you make sense of both stories, which really are rather confusing. I'm glad it was fun to read. You're very very welcome, and here is the next chapter for you. Thanks for your review, and enjoy the read.
Kapaleat: Thanks for your support, kapaleat! I will! (hugs you for good measure)
Crazyroninchic: (reads your review and melts into small puddle) Thanks, crazyroninchic! Have we met? Well, it doesn't matter, you will need this armor and these pillows because I am going to tackle you now. (Does so.) And, because I am in a very hyper mood, I will give you a piece of chocolate and another pair of weasel pliers. (Does so.) I am grateful and happy for your review and hope you keep reading and enjoying the fic. I will try not to change. (Awards you another pair of weasel pliers.)
(Caspian clicks her own pair of weasel pliers) Coming up next, idyllic pastoral scenes and the Ancient being a smartass.
Lv,
Caspian Nyghtvision
caspianscholarhotmail.com
www.fanfiction.net/Nyghtvision