Chapter 9- Leaving the Highs and joining the Inks
We will now go back in time to that day when the company was split, to see what happened to Merrid and Pip-pop...
The U-R-High approached the two of them, with a look of pure evil (or was in glee???) in their eyes, and they grabbed Merrid and Pip-pop, who had just stared blankly at them.
"Cool, now we don't have to walk anymore" said Pip-pop.
Merrid sighed, and thought about how weird it felt to be the cleverest person in the group (his IQ was getting higher) for once.
"Pip-pop" he sighed again, "This is not cool. These U-R-High people have captured us and we will probably be killed...AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! I don't wanna die! I'm too young to die! SOMEONE SAVE US!!!"
"Merrid, do you think we'll go to Heaven? It sounds like fun. I don't want to go to Hell; it's too hot. If we go to Heaven we might meet God and I can finally get his autograph"
"Shut up Pip-pop. You can't get God's autograph, 'cos he's not an actual person"
"Is too"
"Is not"
"Is too"
"Is not"
"Is too"
Etcetera. Etcetera. Etcetera.
God this is sooooooooooo boring, can something interesting please happen?
So the U-R-High ran, carrying the two habbits (quite an achievement considering their size), for hours and hours. When they finally stopped, the Highs threw down the habbits, and immediately started an argument over what was to be eaten for supper.
"I think we should have the legs off those bloody habbits; they're so heavy to carry and it might lighten the load a bit"
"No. Our master Shaguman said they were not to be harmed"
"But they look so fat and meaty. Can't we just have their arms then? They don't really need those"
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? They are to be brought to our master alive and uneaten. Those were the orders, and if you break them; I'll kill you, understand?"
"Okay, okay. I'll go and kill some rabbits (animal abuse...veggie here...) or something for us to eat"
The next day, the Highs continued to run back to Iregard, but this did not go as planned. They were found by Oweme son of Thedid, chief of the Rowmard, and a mighty warrior. He slaughtered all the Highs, which enabled Merrid and Pip-pop to escape into the forest. This forest was the creepy Fannyhorn; a darkish place inhabited by the Inks.
As Merrid and Pip-pop ran through the forest singing "We escaped, we escaped, we escaped" to the tune of 'Here we go', they spotted two large, black blobs of something.
"What're those squidgy, black, blobby things?" asked Pip-pop.
"How do I know?" replied Merrid, "Actually, I think my daddy told me about things that looked like that once. He said that in a forest called Fanny something or other, there lived massive blobs of ink called Inks (so clever...), and that they would use any excuse to go to war"
"They sound scary. Let's go and talk to them" said Pip-pop illogically, as per usual.
The two habbits walked through the forest to the clearing where the Inks stood. As they approached them, the Inks turned to face Merrid and Pip- pop.
"And what can we do for you young tall ones?" asked the first Ink.
"I'm not sure if you'd be interested Mr. Ink sir, but maybe you could help us destroy Shaguman the Bastard and his army of U-R-High, if there're any of them left. You know, the famous evil wizzy" replied Merrid.
"And why would we want to do that?" questioned the second Ink.
"Because you love war, and Shaguman probably wants to destroy you and all the other Inks eventually" said Merrid.
"And because he's really horrible; he captured Grandold, but Grandold escaped, his U-R-High killed Borromemirror and then captured us" put in Pip- pop.
Merrid looked totally shocked that Pip-pop knew all this information, but then changed his expression as he realised that he'd told Pip-pop all this as they'd entered Fannyhorn.
"Okay, we'll do it" said the first Ink, "By the way I'm Longfeared, the leader of the Inks, and this is my brother Reallyweird"
Merrid and Pip-pop stayed at the Inks' house overnight, and then Longfeared and Reallyweird went out into the field or whatever it is outside the forest to assemble the Inks (that was when Longlegs mistook them for the Highs- what an arse, can you see any resemblance between U-R-High and giant blobs of Ink???), and don't ask me why they didn't just do this in the forest. The Inks arrived quickly, and everyone marched off to Iregard.
They destroyed all the grounds and the U-R-High that were present, but no- one could get into the tower of Othank.
"He must have bewitched it" decided Longfeared, "He is a wizzy after all. We'll have to wait for Grandold to come as he's the only other wizzy I know"
We will now go back in time to that day when the company was split, to see what happened to Merrid and Pip-pop...
The U-R-High approached the two of them, with a look of pure evil (or was in glee???) in their eyes, and they grabbed Merrid and Pip-pop, who had just stared blankly at them.
"Cool, now we don't have to walk anymore" said Pip-pop.
Merrid sighed, and thought about how weird it felt to be the cleverest person in the group (his IQ was getting higher) for once.
"Pip-pop" he sighed again, "This is not cool. These U-R-High people have captured us and we will probably be killed...AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! I don't wanna die! I'm too young to die! SOMEONE SAVE US!!!"
"Merrid, do you think we'll go to Heaven? It sounds like fun. I don't want to go to Hell; it's too hot. If we go to Heaven we might meet God and I can finally get his autograph"
"Shut up Pip-pop. You can't get God's autograph, 'cos he's not an actual person"
"Is too"
"Is not"
"Is too"
"Is not"
"Is too"
Etcetera. Etcetera. Etcetera.
God this is sooooooooooo boring, can something interesting please happen?
So the U-R-High ran, carrying the two habbits (quite an achievement considering their size), for hours and hours. When they finally stopped, the Highs threw down the habbits, and immediately started an argument over what was to be eaten for supper.
"I think we should have the legs off those bloody habbits; they're so heavy to carry and it might lighten the load a bit"
"No. Our master Shaguman said they were not to be harmed"
"But they look so fat and meaty. Can't we just have their arms then? They don't really need those"
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? They are to be brought to our master alive and uneaten. Those were the orders, and if you break them; I'll kill you, understand?"
"Okay, okay. I'll go and kill some rabbits (animal abuse...veggie here...) or something for us to eat"
The next day, the Highs continued to run back to Iregard, but this did not go as planned. They were found by Oweme son of Thedid, chief of the Rowmard, and a mighty warrior. He slaughtered all the Highs, which enabled Merrid and Pip-pop to escape into the forest. This forest was the creepy Fannyhorn; a darkish place inhabited by the Inks.
As Merrid and Pip-pop ran through the forest singing "We escaped, we escaped, we escaped" to the tune of 'Here we go', they spotted two large, black blobs of something.
"What're those squidgy, black, blobby things?" asked Pip-pop.
"How do I know?" replied Merrid, "Actually, I think my daddy told me about things that looked like that once. He said that in a forest called Fanny something or other, there lived massive blobs of ink called Inks (so clever...), and that they would use any excuse to go to war"
"They sound scary. Let's go and talk to them" said Pip-pop illogically, as per usual.
The two habbits walked through the forest to the clearing where the Inks stood. As they approached them, the Inks turned to face Merrid and Pip- pop.
"And what can we do for you young tall ones?" asked the first Ink.
"I'm not sure if you'd be interested Mr. Ink sir, but maybe you could help us destroy Shaguman the Bastard and his army of U-R-High, if there're any of them left. You know, the famous evil wizzy" replied Merrid.
"And why would we want to do that?" questioned the second Ink.
"Because you love war, and Shaguman probably wants to destroy you and all the other Inks eventually" said Merrid.
"And because he's really horrible; he captured Grandold, but Grandold escaped, his U-R-High killed Borromemirror and then captured us" put in Pip- pop.
Merrid looked totally shocked that Pip-pop knew all this information, but then changed his expression as he realised that he'd told Pip-pop all this as they'd entered Fannyhorn.
"Okay, we'll do it" said the first Ink, "By the way I'm Longfeared, the leader of the Inks, and this is my brother Reallyweird"
Merrid and Pip-pop stayed at the Inks' house overnight, and then Longfeared and Reallyweird went out into the field or whatever it is outside the forest to assemble the Inks (that was when Longlegs mistook them for the Highs- what an arse, can you see any resemblance between U-R-High and giant blobs of Ink???), and don't ask me why they didn't just do this in the forest. The Inks arrived quickly, and everyone marched off to Iregard.
They destroyed all the grounds and the U-R-High that were present, but no- one could get into the tower of Othank.
"He must have bewitched it" decided Longfeared, "He is a wizzy after all. We'll have to wait for Grandold to come as he's the only other wizzy I know"