Okay, yes I know. I'm a bad evil person who has not updated their story in
like, forever. But now that I'm back at college I'm back to updating
regularly, promise. Thank you to all the people who did review, really
appreciate it.
Buffy punched the mats held by her tense Watcher. Really tense. Every time he spoke he was hard and cold, "Switch. Left lead."
Buffy did as she was told. She took another stab at conversation, "So do you really think that they'll help us."
Giles made a dismissive move with his eyes, "I wouldn't be going if I didn't think that they could. Whether they will or not is another matter. You're not exactly their favourite Slayer and I'm not their favourite Watcher. You're dropping your shoulder I can see when you're going to attack."
Buffy flinched at his harsh tone. She tried to regulate her punches, but she could feel that they were off. She was stressed. Spike had done a pretty good . . .well an amazing job of relaxing her last night but now . . . well now she was worried again. She hated it when Giles was mad at her; it felt wrong. It was more hurtful than when anyone else was mad because it as so rare. Even when Angel had lost his soul Giles hadn't been mad at her. He had supported her, loved her, even after the death of Jenny. Buffy's mind drifted as she continued her punching.
"You're still dropping your shoulder I can see. You're doing it again. . ."
Buffy pulled away and began to take off her wraps. She was hurt, Giles was cross and picking at her and it hurt, "We're not done here Buffy. We have more to do."
Buffy spun round to face him her eyes filled with tears, "Oh I completely agree. We're not done here. But we're done here, because if you keep speaking like this to me, one of us is going to do something that we'll regret. You are going to explain to me what is bothering you."
Giles stared hard at her for a couple of seconds, "Nothing is bothering me Buffy." Giles turned away and headed towards the door.
Buffy moved forward and tugged gently on his arm, "No, tell me. This can't go on tell me."
Giles turned around and pulled his arm away from her, "I don't want to talk about it Buffy."
Buffy flinched again at the tone in his voice but she wasn't going to give up now, "It doesn't matter what you want right now. We need to talk about this."
Giles stared at her, eyes blazing, "Of course I doesn't matter what I want Buffy. It never does matter does it Buffy. In fact, it never matters what anyone wants except you. You. The Slayer. You're bringing another vampire into our group and into your bed. And it doesn't matter what we think as long as you are happy. Well you're not a child anymore. There is no excuse in inexperience anymore. Do you have any memory of how this worked out last time? Someone I loved was killed, as were numerous other people. I was tortured nearly to death and the entire world was nearly pulled into hell. I don't see how this situation is going to come out even better. To make things even worse, this vampire has no soul."
Giles took a breath and seemed to shudder, as though as he had been talking he had been letting out something toxic that was inside of him. Buffy felt the tears spill down over her cheeks and she nodded and swallowed. Anger was blooming inside of her and she wanted to kick Giles and at the same time, she wanted him to hug her and tell her that he didn't mean it and that everything was going to be okay. Instead, she took a deep breath and looked straight at the man she considered her father, "You have no right to say anything like that to me. It isn't like you have never made mistakes. In case you don't remember your past nearly killed Jenny once too."
Giles' flared again, "How dare you? That was an accident."
Buffy's eyes blazed, "So was what happened with Angel. Except that if Jenny had told us everything that she knew in the first place we might have been able to do something about it, the world would never have been in danger, I wouldn't have had to kill my lover and the 'numerous' people wouldn't have died." Giles looked as though he was about to speak. "No! You've had your say. I'm going to have mine. Everything single person in the 'group' that you refer to collectively has made bad decisions in case you don't remember. Willow fell for a robot. Xander for a praying mantis, an ancient Incan Mummy, and then for an ex-demon. Willow managed to cast a spell that nearly killed us all and Xander did the same, resulting in me ending up a rat. Okay, I may have made I lot of mistakes, but we all have, and I have never reproached any of you. You're my friends and my family, I love you all. I have always respected your partners and I've forgiven you for mistakes like you've forgiven me. I am in love with Spike. Nothing you can say will change it and I won't give him up. Before you judge me, think about it. You've done plenty of things wrong too."
Buffy grabbed her bag and stalked out of the back door, leaving Giles with his mouth open.
* * *
Buffy headed straight home. She stormed down the street. It was weird. In one way, she felt bad. She shouldn't have said what she said to Giles, but then she knew that he shouldn't have said what he said to her either. It had been cruel and unnecessary. She just had to hope that when he came to his senses and calmed down a little he was going to see that. Buffy opened the front door of her house and slipped inside. Dawn was at school and her mom was at the hospital for her check up. She slipped up the stairs and poking her head through her door, she saw Spike sat on her bed reading her baby book. Her mother had started that thing when she had been pregnant with Buffy, thinking that it was a nice idea. Dawn had one too.
Buffy knocked on the door and Spike's lifted his head to look at her. "Hey love. Weren't you a cute baby?"
Buffy flushed, "I can not believe that you found that thing. Did you deliberately start looking for things that could embarrass me beyond words?"
Spike smiled and stood, "Absolutely. Yep. Such a cute baby. What happened there eh?"
Buffy made a sound of mock outrage and smacked him lightly on the chest. "Mean."
Spike slipped his arms around her waist, "Not fair. I can't fight back."
Buffy ran her hands up his chest, "You could definite win though. You just have to try the non-violent approach." Buffy pulled Spike's head down to hers.
* * *
Buffy lay, relaxed in front of Spike. He stroked the back of her neck with his fingers and she sighed. He liked it when she did that. He liked to lie like this with her. He like it when she was happy. But now . . .he knew that she wasn't really happy. Something was really, really bothering her. He had a feeling it was something to do with her Watcher. The old guys disapproval had been obvious. Spike also knew that she didn't want to talk about it, probably didn't even want to think about it. But that wasn't the point she was going to have to deal with it at some point. "Buffy?"
Buffy gave a slight sigh, "Yeah?"
"I think we need to talk pet."
Buffy turned over to face him with a look of worry in her eyes, "Normally when a guy says that he's going to do one of three things, break up with you, tell you he's gay or say that he hates a member of your family. I don't think it's the first, I'm hoping it's not the second and I already know that you hate Xander. So you can not surprise me."
Spike just laughed, "Well, none of the above actually Slayer. This is about your Watcher."
Buffy stiffened in his grasp ever so slightly. He might not even have noticed if he hadn't had his hands on her back, "What about him?"
Spike gave her a look, "Don't pet. You know that I know there's something."
Buffy smiled, "He doesn't approve. Just like I thought really. He said some really hurtful things, you know, how I didn't care about my friends as long as I was happy." Spike looked enraged but Buffy spoke quickly, "Don't worry I said equally hurtful things about Jenny Calendar, and how Angel and her own death had been Giles' fault."
Spike looked shocked, "Well, I hate to sound like a parent refereeing their kids, but I think it's only fair to say that you both have some serious apologising to do. Neither or you should have said what you said."
Buffy looked a little shamed faced, "Yes I know. I shouldn't have said it and neither should he, but now I don't actually know what to say to him to make it right. And I do want to. You know make it right."
Spike pulled her body to his, "You'll make it right between the two of you, and you normally manage to do it in the end. He loves you and people who love each other sometimes say hurtful things because they care. I know that that doesn't actually help but it is true. The more you love someone, the more you actuall know how to hurt tham. Goes with caring."
Buffy smiled, "Whendid you ge so damn philosophical?"
"I used to be all poetic all the time."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. Don't worry though. I outgrew it."
* * *
Buffy pulled her shirt over her head. "Believe me I don't want to go. But he's going today and I don't really want to let him go all the way to England with this hanging between us. I just . . .I need to fix it."
Spike pulled on his jeans, "You should go. I told your mom that I'd join her for hot chocolate at some pioint this evening so when you get home we'll probably be here, maybe even with the little bit."
Buffy looked up at him, "What's the little bit?"
Spike smirk, "The little bit, is your sister. As in a little bit of you."
Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, "I love you, you know that?"
Spike kissed her, "I'm starting to learn pet."
Buffy pulled her boyfriend's mouth back down to hers. Spike gripped her waist for a few seconds before pushing her away gently. "Go. Right now. If you don't you're not going anywhere tonight."
Buffy punched the mats held by her tense Watcher. Really tense. Every time he spoke he was hard and cold, "Switch. Left lead."
Buffy did as she was told. She took another stab at conversation, "So do you really think that they'll help us."
Giles made a dismissive move with his eyes, "I wouldn't be going if I didn't think that they could. Whether they will or not is another matter. You're not exactly their favourite Slayer and I'm not their favourite Watcher. You're dropping your shoulder I can see when you're going to attack."
Buffy flinched at his harsh tone. She tried to regulate her punches, but she could feel that they were off. She was stressed. Spike had done a pretty good . . .well an amazing job of relaxing her last night but now . . . well now she was worried again. She hated it when Giles was mad at her; it felt wrong. It was more hurtful than when anyone else was mad because it as so rare. Even when Angel had lost his soul Giles hadn't been mad at her. He had supported her, loved her, even after the death of Jenny. Buffy's mind drifted as she continued her punching.
"You're still dropping your shoulder I can see. You're doing it again. . ."
Buffy pulled away and began to take off her wraps. She was hurt, Giles was cross and picking at her and it hurt, "We're not done here Buffy. We have more to do."
Buffy spun round to face him her eyes filled with tears, "Oh I completely agree. We're not done here. But we're done here, because if you keep speaking like this to me, one of us is going to do something that we'll regret. You are going to explain to me what is bothering you."
Giles stared hard at her for a couple of seconds, "Nothing is bothering me Buffy." Giles turned away and headed towards the door.
Buffy moved forward and tugged gently on his arm, "No, tell me. This can't go on tell me."
Giles turned around and pulled his arm away from her, "I don't want to talk about it Buffy."
Buffy flinched again at the tone in his voice but she wasn't going to give up now, "It doesn't matter what you want right now. We need to talk about this."
Giles stared at her, eyes blazing, "Of course I doesn't matter what I want Buffy. It never does matter does it Buffy. In fact, it never matters what anyone wants except you. You. The Slayer. You're bringing another vampire into our group and into your bed. And it doesn't matter what we think as long as you are happy. Well you're not a child anymore. There is no excuse in inexperience anymore. Do you have any memory of how this worked out last time? Someone I loved was killed, as were numerous other people. I was tortured nearly to death and the entire world was nearly pulled into hell. I don't see how this situation is going to come out even better. To make things even worse, this vampire has no soul."
Giles took a breath and seemed to shudder, as though as he had been talking he had been letting out something toxic that was inside of him. Buffy felt the tears spill down over her cheeks and she nodded and swallowed. Anger was blooming inside of her and she wanted to kick Giles and at the same time, she wanted him to hug her and tell her that he didn't mean it and that everything was going to be okay. Instead, she took a deep breath and looked straight at the man she considered her father, "You have no right to say anything like that to me. It isn't like you have never made mistakes. In case you don't remember your past nearly killed Jenny once too."
Giles' flared again, "How dare you? That was an accident."
Buffy's eyes blazed, "So was what happened with Angel. Except that if Jenny had told us everything that she knew in the first place we might have been able to do something about it, the world would never have been in danger, I wouldn't have had to kill my lover and the 'numerous' people wouldn't have died." Giles looked as though he was about to speak. "No! You've had your say. I'm going to have mine. Everything single person in the 'group' that you refer to collectively has made bad decisions in case you don't remember. Willow fell for a robot. Xander for a praying mantis, an ancient Incan Mummy, and then for an ex-demon. Willow managed to cast a spell that nearly killed us all and Xander did the same, resulting in me ending up a rat. Okay, I may have made I lot of mistakes, but we all have, and I have never reproached any of you. You're my friends and my family, I love you all. I have always respected your partners and I've forgiven you for mistakes like you've forgiven me. I am in love with Spike. Nothing you can say will change it and I won't give him up. Before you judge me, think about it. You've done plenty of things wrong too."
Buffy grabbed her bag and stalked out of the back door, leaving Giles with his mouth open.
* * *
Buffy headed straight home. She stormed down the street. It was weird. In one way, she felt bad. She shouldn't have said what she said to Giles, but then she knew that he shouldn't have said what he said to her either. It had been cruel and unnecessary. She just had to hope that when he came to his senses and calmed down a little he was going to see that. Buffy opened the front door of her house and slipped inside. Dawn was at school and her mom was at the hospital for her check up. She slipped up the stairs and poking her head through her door, she saw Spike sat on her bed reading her baby book. Her mother had started that thing when she had been pregnant with Buffy, thinking that it was a nice idea. Dawn had one too.
Buffy knocked on the door and Spike's lifted his head to look at her. "Hey love. Weren't you a cute baby?"
Buffy flushed, "I can not believe that you found that thing. Did you deliberately start looking for things that could embarrass me beyond words?"
Spike smiled and stood, "Absolutely. Yep. Such a cute baby. What happened there eh?"
Buffy made a sound of mock outrage and smacked him lightly on the chest. "Mean."
Spike slipped his arms around her waist, "Not fair. I can't fight back."
Buffy ran her hands up his chest, "You could definite win though. You just have to try the non-violent approach." Buffy pulled Spike's head down to hers.
* * *
Buffy lay, relaxed in front of Spike. He stroked the back of her neck with his fingers and she sighed. He liked it when she did that. He liked to lie like this with her. He like it when she was happy. But now . . .he knew that she wasn't really happy. Something was really, really bothering her. He had a feeling it was something to do with her Watcher. The old guys disapproval had been obvious. Spike also knew that she didn't want to talk about it, probably didn't even want to think about it. But that wasn't the point she was going to have to deal with it at some point. "Buffy?"
Buffy gave a slight sigh, "Yeah?"
"I think we need to talk pet."
Buffy turned over to face him with a look of worry in her eyes, "Normally when a guy says that he's going to do one of three things, break up with you, tell you he's gay or say that he hates a member of your family. I don't think it's the first, I'm hoping it's not the second and I already know that you hate Xander. So you can not surprise me."
Spike just laughed, "Well, none of the above actually Slayer. This is about your Watcher."
Buffy stiffened in his grasp ever so slightly. He might not even have noticed if he hadn't had his hands on her back, "What about him?"
Spike gave her a look, "Don't pet. You know that I know there's something."
Buffy smiled, "He doesn't approve. Just like I thought really. He said some really hurtful things, you know, how I didn't care about my friends as long as I was happy." Spike looked enraged but Buffy spoke quickly, "Don't worry I said equally hurtful things about Jenny Calendar, and how Angel and her own death had been Giles' fault."
Spike looked shocked, "Well, I hate to sound like a parent refereeing their kids, but I think it's only fair to say that you both have some serious apologising to do. Neither or you should have said what you said."
Buffy looked a little shamed faced, "Yes I know. I shouldn't have said it and neither should he, but now I don't actually know what to say to him to make it right. And I do want to. You know make it right."
Spike pulled her body to his, "You'll make it right between the two of you, and you normally manage to do it in the end. He loves you and people who love each other sometimes say hurtful things because they care. I know that that doesn't actually help but it is true. The more you love someone, the more you actuall know how to hurt tham. Goes with caring."
Buffy smiled, "Whendid you ge so damn philosophical?"
"I used to be all poetic all the time."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. Don't worry though. I outgrew it."
* * *
Buffy pulled her shirt over her head. "Believe me I don't want to go. But he's going today and I don't really want to let him go all the way to England with this hanging between us. I just . . .I need to fix it."
Spike pulled on his jeans, "You should go. I told your mom that I'd join her for hot chocolate at some pioint this evening so when you get home we'll probably be here, maybe even with the little bit."
Buffy looked up at him, "What's the little bit?"
Spike smirk, "The little bit, is your sister. As in a little bit of you."
Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, "I love you, you know that?"
Spike kissed her, "I'm starting to learn pet."
Buffy pulled her boyfriend's mouth back down to hers. Spike gripped her waist for a few seconds before pushing her away gently. "Go. Right now. If you don't you're not going anywhere tonight."