Chapter 14- Nangneenang
"Owww!" exclaimed Sum, walking into a tree, "Sorry- didn't see you there" (there you go Vix- the sorry to tree thing's dedicated to you, as you've done it yourself...)
"Sum, it's a tree you arse. Therefore it doesn't have feelings" said Gimmy, despairingly.
"How'd you know? Have you asked it?" replied Sum, stupidly.
"No, of course not. Why'd I talk to trees? That's your practise"
"Err, guys, can we get a move on please? Everyone knows Sum's stupid by now. Can we just get to 'Nangneenang', or whatever Fillet said the tree- maze-place is called" called Frog from up ahead somewhere.
"Ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" moaned Sum, this time falling over, "Sorry floor" (dedicated to Els- who's done it before- Why people???)
Frog and Gimmy just tutted, and carried on walking through the bushes they had come to about five minutes earlier. After walking for a further twenty minutes, they met a massive maze (too many 'm's...), which was formed from thousands of incredibly tall and wide rainforest-tree-things (don't ask me what they are. Who'd you think I am, a botanist (does plant studying include trees??? Yes obviously...)?
"This must be it" sighed Frog, "Why're the trees so fking tall? God, they're fking fat too. I reckon Fillet was lying and wanted us to get lost, and then starve to death. Fking wanker. Fking fish. Fking-" (man, talk about excessive swearing...)
"SHUT IT" screamed Gimmy, "Look, we've gotta find our way through, or we won't be able to destroy the ring and The Sour One. Is that what you want?"
"I don't give a fk. Grandold's the one who wants them gone. Why's it matter if The Sour One takes all The Bacardis anyway? What's he gonna do- use the Bacardis to take over In-Betweey Place? There're not my kinda thing- I prefer Beer so it doesn't matter to me"
"Shh Frog" whispered Gimmy, "You're ruining this parody. Now anyone reading this is gonna wonder what's wrong with The Sour One taking all the Bacardis too- after we've been covering up the fact that we don't know for so long. You're so not heterosexual (dedicated to Vix). STOP BEING HOMOSEXUAL (also dedicated to Vix, who is feeling left out as nothing was dedicated to her before this chapter- all that will change though...). I think something's coming by the way"
He was right. They'd been walking through the maze (yes Sum was following...) as they were talking, and could now sense (not Sum though) a large shape above them- so they looked up. In the tree they were standing under was a giant treefrog (spelt wrong as it looks crappy with a gap- changing the English language here...), who was definitely female (having treefrog boobs- yeah I know real ones don't, but this ain't real is it?), and was drooling over Gimmy (no taste). I dedicate this treefrog to Els and Nabs, who were there to help me through those dragging maths lessons with Fillet...
"Hi guys" she said longingly, "My names Neenang, and this maze is my land, but I will let you pass if you'll just let me sample this Daft's quality"
Frog burst out laughing, while Sum looked confused (as always), and Gimmy replied, "Well I'd like to have some of that big, treefrog butt of yours. Man I'm a horny Daft right now- I could sure do with some action down below"
"Well come on up this rope-ladder and you'll get what you're asking for"
"I'm there baby"
So Gimmy climbed the ladder, as Frog started puking and Sum still looked confused.
"What's he mean by 'some action down below?" he asked Frog, "I don't get it"
Frog stopped puking and sighed, ignoring Sum's naivety, and walking off away from the love-nest-tree, from which sounds un-repeatable could be heard.
"Hey! Don't ignore me!" shouted Sum, following, "And don't leave me"
"Oh leave it out Sum" said Frog, "I can't be fked to tell you about the birds and the bees. Your Mum and Dad should have told you years ago"
"I know what birds and bees are" replied Sum, "Everyone knows that"
Frog sighed, and chose to ignore him again.
Just then, a song broke out from the love-nest-tree. Neenang could be heard singing 'Gimmy, Gimmy, Gimmy, a Daft after midnight' over and over (I dedicate this song to Dale, Els and Lozy- remember it guys (or girls even...)? It was originally the same, but with Gimli (I disclaim him...) and dwarf, but that doesn't matter here...Pause for breath...anyway...)
"Oh God" moaned Frog, "Can't they just quit it with the eagerness? Everyone's getting bored (again...) and seriously freaked out..."
After a few more minutes, or maybe hours -I dunno- Gimmy returned.
"Man, that was good" he said with satisfaction, "Neenang sure knows how to please a Daft"
"Can we go then?" asked Frog, "Is Neenang gonna show us the way out, or has all this been for nothing?"
"Yeah she is. She's coming with us too, as neither of us want to be parted from the other- we want to savour our engagement"
"ENGAGEMENT!" exclaimed Frog, "You're engaged to a giant treefrog why exactly?"
"'Cos I'm damn good in bed" answered Neenang, arriving at last, "Now stop dissing us, or I won't get you out of here"
"Sorry, sorry. Please don't do that. No offence, but I hate mazes 'cos I get claustrophobic- it's nothing personal"
"Yeah whatever, let's go, I'm bored, and the sooner we get this over with the sooner me and Gimmy can get it on. Come on people"
"God, your babe's Horny" Frog whispered to Gimmy.
"I know" said Gimmy, eagerly, and following after her, "Man I love female treefrogs..." (Well, whatever turns you on...)
So they walked on through Nangneenang, still not quite at Baceezer...
We leave them now (as they're getting fking boring...) to join Grandold, Arson and co again, and attempt to finish this crap...
"Owww!" exclaimed Sum, walking into a tree, "Sorry- didn't see you there" (there you go Vix- the sorry to tree thing's dedicated to you, as you've done it yourself...)
"Sum, it's a tree you arse. Therefore it doesn't have feelings" said Gimmy, despairingly.
"How'd you know? Have you asked it?" replied Sum, stupidly.
"No, of course not. Why'd I talk to trees? That's your practise"
"Err, guys, can we get a move on please? Everyone knows Sum's stupid by now. Can we just get to 'Nangneenang', or whatever Fillet said the tree- maze-place is called" called Frog from up ahead somewhere.
"Ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" moaned Sum, this time falling over, "Sorry floor" (dedicated to Els- who's done it before- Why people???)
Frog and Gimmy just tutted, and carried on walking through the bushes they had come to about five minutes earlier. After walking for a further twenty minutes, they met a massive maze (too many 'm's...), which was formed from thousands of incredibly tall and wide rainforest-tree-things (don't ask me what they are. Who'd you think I am, a botanist (does plant studying include trees??? Yes obviously...)?
"This must be it" sighed Frog, "Why're the trees so fking tall? God, they're fking fat too. I reckon Fillet was lying and wanted us to get lost, and then starve to death. Fking wanker. Fking fish. Fking-" (man, talk about excessive swearing...)
"SHUT IT" screamed Gimmy, "Look, we've gotta find our way through, or we won't be able to destroy the ring and The Sour One. Is that what you want?"
"I don't give a fk. Grandold's the one who wants them gone. Why's it matter if The Sour One takes all The Bacardis anyway? What's he gonna do- use the Bacardis to take over In-Betweey Place? There're not my kinda thing- I prefer Beer so it doesn't matter to me"
"Shh Frog" whispered Gimmy, "You're ruining this parody. Now anyone reading this is gonna wonder what's wrong with The Sour One taking all the Bacardis too- after we've been covering up the fact that we don't know for so long. You're so not heterosexual (dedicated to Vix). STOP BEING HOMOSEXUAL (also dedicated to Vix, who is feeling left out as nothing was dedicated to her before this chapter- all that will change though...). I think something's coming by the way"
He was right. They'd been walking through the maze (yes Sum was following...) as they were talking, and could now sense (not Sum though) a large shape above them- so they looked up. In the tree they were standing under was a giant treefrog (spelt wrong as it looks crappy with a gap- changing the English language here...), who was definitely female (having treefrog boobs- yeah I know real ones don't, but this ain't real is it?), and was drooling over Gimmy (no taste). I dedicate this treefrog to Els and Nabs, who were there to help me through those dragging maths lessons with Fillet...
"Hi guys" she said longingly, "My names Neenang, and this maze is my land, but I will let you pass if you'll just let me sample this Daft's quality"
Frog burst out laughing, while Sum looked confused (as always), and Gimmy replied, "Well I'd like to have some of that big, treefrog butt of yours. Man I'm a horny Daft right now- I could sure do with some action down below"
"Well come on up this rope-ladder and you'll get what you're asking for"
"I'm there baby"
So Gimmy climbed the ladder, as Frog started puking and Sum still looked confused.
"What's he mean by 'some action down below?" he asked Frog, "I don't get it"
Frog stopped puking and sighed, ignoring Sum's naivety, and walking off away from the love-nest-tree, from which sounds un-repeatable could be heard.
"Hey! Don't ignore me!" shouted Sum, following, "And don't leave me"
"Oh leave it out Sum" said Frog, "I can't be fked to tell you about the birds and the bees. Your Mum and Dad should have told you years ago"
"I know what birds and bees are" replied Sum, "Everyone knows that"
Frog sighed, and chose to ignore him again.
Just then, a song broke out from the love-nest-tree. Neenang could be heard singing 'Gimmy, Gimmy, Gimmy, a Daft after midnight' over and over (I dedicate this song to Dale, Els and Lozy- remember it guys (or girls even...)? It was originally the same, but with Gimli (I disclaim him...) and dwarf, but that doesn't matter here...Pause for breath...anyway...)
"Oh God" moaned Frog, "Can't they just quit it with the eagerness? Everyone's getting bored (again...) and seriously freaked out..."
After a few more minutes, or maybe hours -I dunno- Gimmy returned.
"Man, that was good" he said with satisfaction, "Neenang sure knows how to please a Daft"
"Can we go then?" asked Frog, "Is Neenang gonna show us the way out, or has all this been for nothing?"
"Yeah she is. She's coming with us too, as neither of us want to be parted from the other- we want to savour our engagement"
"ENGAGEMENT!" exclaimed Frog, "You're engaged to a giant treefrog why exactly?"
"'Cos I'm damn good in bed" answered Neenang, arriving at last, "Now stop dissing us, or I won't get you out of here"
"Sorry, sorry. Please don't do that. No offence, but I hate mazes 'cos I get claustrophobic- it's nothing personal"
"Yeah whatever, let's go, I'm bored, and the sooner we get this over with the sooner me and Gimmy can get it on. Come on people"
"God, your babe's Horny" Frog whispered to Gimmy.
"I know" said Gimmy, eagerly, and following after her, "Man I love female treefrogs..." (Well, whatever turns you on...)
So they walked on through Nangneenang, still not quite at Baceezer...
We leave them now (as they're getting fking boring...) to join Grandold, Arson and co again, and attempt to finish this crap...