Chapter Two
Death of Hope
How will I start tomorrow without you here? Whose heart will guide me when all the answers disappear? Is it too late? Are you too far gone to stay? Best friends forever Should never have to go away What will I do? You know I'm only half without you How will I make it through? -If Only Tears Could Bring You Back- Mewtwo Strikes Back Soundtrack
Tifa slowly opened her eyes, feeling fully awake for the first time since she'd arrived in Cosmo Canyon. Looking up to glance at the clock, she instead saw Cloud's face. A tiny smile crossed her lips, He stayed... She stared at his face for a moment, feeling reality's grip return. Cloud was still poisoned, he was still in danger. He suddenly stirred, pulling her closer to him in his sleep. She carefully slid from his embrace and climbed out of bed. Turning toward the window, she stared out at the sun which had already risen high into the sky. "So you were just gonna leave without saying anything?" a voice asked suddenly, startling her. She turned toward the bed. Cloud was lying on his side looking at her with a wry smile on his face. He sighed, stretching out on his back and closing his eyes. Walking back to the bed, she sat on the edge and gently lay her hand on Cloud's chest. "I didn't want to wake you up. I bothered you enough last night." He opened his eyes; they had suddenly gone serious, "Tif, you didn't bother me. You should've told me a long time ago." "It wouldn't have done any good if I had told you. Insomnia isn't cured just like that." Cloud took her hand and pulled her down onto his chest, then wrapped his arms around her tightly, "But I don't want you to suffer alone. We've both done too much of that." Tifa nodded, then gently kissed him, "Thanks, Cloud...for staying with me. I feel better." She chuckled, "I can actually stand up without worrying about falling flat." Cloud smiled; it was good to hear her laugh again. She hadn't seemed genuinely happy since they'd arrived at Cosmo Canyon, and with good reason. Everyone had tried to cheer her up, to keep her mind off of his poisoning, but with little success. Even as that thought crossed his mind, her eyes took on a dark, haunted look again. She snuggled against his chest, squeezing her eyes shut. "Tif..." he sighed, rubbing her back. "I'm so scared of losing you, Cloud. I don't wanna be alone anymore..." she whispered, her voice muffled. He held her tight, at a loss for words. He couldn't promise her he'd be alright, but he hated seeing her like this. Her despair rippled across their bond like the disturbed surface of an usually tranquil lake. "Cloud! Tifa! Time for breakfast!" Cid's gruff voice called. Tifa stood up reluctantly, not saying a word. Cloud took her hand and squeezed it tightly, hoping to somehow ease her sorrow. "'bout time you two got your slow asses in here." Cid growled as they walked in hand in hand. As they took their seats at the table, everyone began to quickly devour their meal. Tifa stared down at her food, unable to muster the will to eat. After a long moment, she got up from the table and went outside. Cloud stood to go after her, only to be stopped by Vincent. "No, Cloud. Let her be by herself for a while. She needs time to think." Slowly shaking his head, Cloud sat back in his chair, his face troubled. "She hasn't been herself lately." Reeve observed. "Of course she hasn't!" Yuffie said in exasperation. "Cloud's hurt. You know how she gets about him." "You would do the same if the one you loved was in danger of death." Red commented. "She's got insomnia because of me." Cloud said quietly. The group looked at him. "Insomnia?" Barret asked. Cloud nodded, "Yeah. She hasn't been able to sleep since we got here. She's been helping Alex look through the books at night. I caught her sneaking back in last night. I didn't know...I should've, but I didn't. She fell asleep last night finally, but only because I stayed with her; she begged me to." The door creaked open, and Tifa quietly slipped back into the house. Without a word, she resumed her seat at the table and picked at her breakfast. Cloud studied her face intently, sensing things that no one else would have been able to see. Tifa had become a master at hiding her emotions, but he could see through it. She'd been crying, he knew that much. Looking up at him, Tifa forced a smile onto her face. "Morning, guys." she said. A murmured reply came from the group, who was intent on their meals. "How do you feel, Tifa?" Vincent asked. She met his eyes, masking her surprise at his concern, "I'm...okay." Vincent never seemed worried about anyone, and his question caught Tifa off guard. Vincent searched her face for a moment, then nodded. After the group had finished, Tifa was busily washing the dishes, hoping to pull her mind for a moment from her troubles. "Hey, um...Tifa." Yuffie said, hoping to get Tifa's attention. She turned, "Yeah?" "I'll do the dishes today, you take a break." the young ninja offered. Tifa shook her head, "I thought you were going to the Gold Saucer." "It shouldn't take that long. Why don't you and Cloud go spend some time together?" "Yuffie, thanks, but-" Tifa started. Yuffie grabbed a plate from Tifa's hands, "Go. Just chill for a while and try to forget all this." "But Cloud doesn't want to-" Yuffie grinned mischieviously, "It was his idea...kinda. He told me that he thought you needed to just get away for a while and relax, that he wished he could convince you to do something. I just gave his idea motivation." "Yuffie..." "Get outta here. I mean it, go. He's outside with Cid." Tifa heaved a reluctant sigh, walking out into the early morning sunlight. Cloud was leaning against the wall of the house, talking to Cid about the engines on the Highwind. As she approached, he pushed off the wall and went to her side. "Hey, sis, you let Yuffie do the dishes?" Cid asked. Tifa nodded, "Yeah, she was persistent." Cid laughed, "'bout time that girl took up some responsibilities." Tifa shrugged, then turned a mock-accusing eye on Cloud, "She said it was all your idea." "Huh?" Cid flicked his cigarette onto the ground, "I gotta go work on the ship, I'll see you guys later." The pilot jogged off toward his 'baby', leaving Cloud and Tifa alone. "Well, Cloud? Was it your idea?" Tifa asked. He shifted uneasily, "I just said that I thought you needed to relax, maybe get out of here for a while, I didn't think she'd...I'm sorry, Tif. But, I just...Why don't we go somewhere?" She stared at him for a moment, then nodded, "Okay, I'll go." she said quietly, a faint smile on her lips. Cloud slid his arm around her waist as they walked down the stairs going up the wall of the canyon to where their chocobos were tied. Renon and Cerasi warbled happily as they approached. Untying Renon, Cloud jumped on the chocobo's back and extended his hand to Tifa. She looked up at him in confusion. "What about Cerasi?" Tifa asked. "She'll be okay." Tifa chuckled and took his hand, wrapping her arms around his waist as he pulled her up behind him. Cloud nudged Renon into a run, bolting them across the rocky area around Cosmo Canyon to the grasslands that lay beyond. After a long time, Tifa lay her head on Cloud's shoulder, "Where are we going?" she whispered in his ear. "Nibelheim." Tifa smiled, feeling a tugging of homesickness at her heart, "That's a great idea...." Cloud looked back at her, "I knew you'd like it." Tifa squeezed him tight, "Thanks, Cloud..." Soon the small mountain village came into view. It was still abandoned, no sounds came from inside. Stopping Renon at the gates, Cloud helped Tifa down and they walked into their hometown. "It so quiet...I don't know why anyone doesn't live here anymore. It's kinda...sad." Tifa whispered, slowly walking over to the well. Reaching out, she gently lay her hand on the weathered wood, her eyes taking on a faraway look. "So many memories burnt into oblivion." She turned to Cloud, her eyes misted with tears, "Memories lying under our feet, nothing more than ash. Memories...and people...Daddy...I don't know what happened to him after the reactor. And your mom...Davis, Erik, and Jeremy, they're gone too. It's all gone, Cloud." Her eyes suddenly narrowed, "This place, it's only a lie. A dream to cling to, nothing more than us refusing to let go. There's no one else left to cling to this place, just us...it's pathetic." "Tifa..." Cloud said, surprised at the venom in her voice. "Tif, that's not it. Maybe it is just a replica, but it's still our home, isn't it? No matter what, no one can take that from us. These buildings, they don't even really matter...this place is home." "No, Cloud. It's all an illusion, don't you see?" Cloud took her by the shoulders, "What's wrong with you, Tif? You've never acted this way about Nibelheim; you've always loved being here." She dropped her eyes, ashamed to meet his gaze, "I...don't know." Cloud felt her begin to tremble. "I do love being here, Cloud...I...I don't know what's happening to me. Everything just seems so...dark, so pointless anymore." Cloud stared down at the top of her head, realizing suddenly what was wrong. She'd gone into a deep depression, one that was devouring her from inside. "Tifa, no...don't say that. It's not pointless." "How's that? Everyone that I knew, that I loved is gone. They're never coming back...Never." she whispered. "I'm still here, Tif." he said quietly. She looked up at him suddenly, her eyes intense, "For how long, Cloud? How long until Jenova's poison takes you away too? Then what? I won't have anyone....nothing." She fell silent, still trembling. Sliding his arms from her shoulders, he pulled her to his chest, holding her close. "I'm not going to leave you. It'll be alright. Somehow...somehow I will fight. No matter what it takes, I won't leave you." She pressed her face into his chest, "You can't know that...you can't. I-I wanna believe that something...that we can find something, but..." She drew in a shaky breath, then looked up at him, "I...I'm sorry, Cloud. I know you wanted me to come out here to relax, and I'm ruining it." "No, it's okay. You don't need to keep doing this to yourself. It's okay to break down sometimes, you shouldn't keep bottling it up like that." he said, lifting one hand to tenderly stroke her cheek. The harsh pain in Tifa's eyes seemed to melt, and she smiled faintly at him, "Thanks, Cloud." She stared up into his eyes for a long moment before speaking, "Why don't we go to the cemetary? I...wanna go see Mom and Dad." Cloud nodded, then started off with her to the cemetary. As she found her parent's graves, he stood at a distance, watching her as she knelt down. Her quiet voice carried over to him in the peaceful silence. "I'm sorry...I know I haven't been around much. So much has happened..." Tifa gently swept a layer of dust from the tombstone, "Mom...you were right about Cloud; he is a sweet boy. I don't know...if you can see me or not, but I...I love Cloud." She chuckled, making a faint smile cross Cloud's face. "I guess you've always known that. Ever since the day Cloud and I met, it seemed like you were trying to help me get to know him better and all. Don't worry, Dad, Cloud is taking care of me. He's always been there, no matter what. You always said that we all have a soulmate, Mom, I...never really believed it to tell the truth, but now...I do." "Tif..." Cloud murmured. She suddenly turned toward him, "Cloud, come over here." He went to her side and knelt down, giving her a curious look. She slid her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. "Cloud's here, Mom, Dad. Can you see us? Don't worry about me anymore, I'll be alright." she whispered. "I promise." Cloud added, looking over at Tifa and seeing the tears in her eyes. Tifa pulled slightly from him, gently kissing her fingers and touching them to the tombstone, "I love you." They slowly climbed to their feet, and Tifa suddenly turned and sank into Cloud's arms, "You think they even heard me?" He held her close, "Of course they did." "But it's been so long...they've returned to the Planet by now." "I think part of someone always remains, looking over the ones they love. They're still with you, Tif, watching over you." She sighed, "I hope so. I want you to still be there." "Tifa, I'm not-" She looked up at him suddenly, "Stop it, Cloud! You don't know anything, so stop making promises you can't keep!" "Then what do you want me to do!? You're slipping into a depression I can't do anything about, so just what are you wanting me to do? No, Tifa, I can't promise I'll be okay, but I can promise that I won't leave you without a fight. You used to be so optimistic, and now it's like you're wanting this to turn out for the worst. I know you're scared, but you can't just give up like this. You have to stay strong." She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face, "Why? Why do I have to be strong? I can't...I just can't." "You can, Tif, I know you can. I...need you to be strong. I can't fight this without you. " Cloud whispered. He felt her hand clench on his back, clutching his shirt. "But what if I fail?" she asked, her forehead resting on his chest, "What if I can't help you? It's all my fault anyway. You came to save me, and this happened. All I've ever done is get you hurt. You joined Soldier because I ignored you, and you ended up in Hojo's experiment. You joined Avalanche because of me. If you hadn't you'd be far away now...you'd be okay. It's all my fault..." she started sobbing, "All my fault...." Cloud looked down at her, feeling each sob as if it were torn from his own heart, "No. It's not your fault. You have to believe that. Jenova was the one who started it all. She poisoned me, not you. Tifa, please...stop blaming yourself." She didn't respond, falling into relative silence, with only an occasional sob breaking through, then she nodded, "I know it's not my fault, but...but you did come to save me, and that's how you ended up like this." He gently stroked her hair, "I told you, I was ready to give my life for you." She sniffled, clutching his shirt tighter, "I'm just so scared. I keep trying to be strong, but...I keep breaking down like this. I'm sorry, Cloud." "No. Don't be sorry. You've been trying to keep it all inside too long, suffering alone." He gently tilted her tear-streaked face up to his, "But I'm here. You're not alone, Tif. This is the whole reason I brought you out here. I know you never let your pain show because you're always worried about someone seeing...you think they're going to think you're weak for crying. It doesn't make you weak....Just cry, Tif. I'll be right here. Just cry." he said quietly. She stared up at him for a moment, an unfathomable pain filling her eyes, then she pressed her face against his chest again. Cloud held her as tight as he could, feeling her warm tears soak through his shirt. She was no longer sobbing, but Cloud knew that her silent tears indicated a far deeper pain. "Cloud...I-I love you..." He gently rested his head against hers, "I love you, too." She stirred, looking up at him, her eyes red from crying. Cloud leaned forward and tenderly kissed her, pulling her closer to him. "I guess we should go back now." Tifa whispered as he released her. "Yeah." They turned to walk away, Tifa clutching Cloud's hand tightly. Tifa started to lean against him, when he suddenly collaped, nearly pulling her down as well. "Cloud!" she screamed, cradling him in her arms. He stared up at her, his eyes unfocused. His breath came in short, pained gasps as his whole body tensed. He reached out to Tifa through their bond, using her presence as an anchor against the storm of pain. A loud roaring filled his ears, almost drowning out Tifa's cries. He could barely see her, despite the fact that her face was only inches from his own. Waves of fire ran through his veins, feeling as if his life's blood was being boiled away. "Tif...a..." He heard himself as if from far away, his voice barely recognizable as his own. "Cloud..." Tifa stared down at him through a blur of tears, "Cloud, no...please...not again." She suddenly felt Cloud's hand wrap around her own. At that moment, he suddenly went into convulsions, his eyes rolling back as his grip on Tifa's hand loosened. A horrified scream tore itself from her throat, and she held him tighter in a vain attempt to stop his convulsions. She could sense his intense pain as if it were her own. Gritting her teeth against the onslaught that was nothing but a pale echo of Cloud's suffering, she reached out to him searching blindly throught the maelstrom that surrounded his presence. Suddenly she felt his soul entwine around hers. He clung to her desperately, needing her strength to fight the pain that was overtaking them both. After what seemed as an eternity in blazing agony, the pain subsided, and Tifa looked down at Cloud's still form in her arms. He was alive, she felt his soul still entwined with her own, but his mind was quiet. She tenderly brushed a strand of hair from his face and leaned over, kissing his forehead. "Oh, Cloud...when is this gonna end?" she whispered, slowly climbing to her feet with him in her arms. She carried him into her house, lying him on a bed in what used to be her parents' room so long ago. She called the others on her PHS, hoping to get an answer. Knowing them, they were all probably off at the Gold Saucer. "Hello?" a rather bored voice asked. "Yuffie?" "Tifa? What's up? Did something happen?" Tifa turned back to look at Cloud, "Yeah. Cloud...it happened again. He passed out, so were in my house at Nibelheim. The poison's getting worse." "He had another attack!?" Yuffie cried. "Yeah. Yuffie, calm down, he's okay. Just, I don't think we're gonna be able to make it back tonight. I'm not sure when he's gonna wake up. Just tell the others so they don't get worried, okay?" "Yeah, okay, Tifa. Be careful out there." "I will. Bye." Tifa lay the phone on the table and collapsed on the bed next to Cloud's. Heaving a sigh, she turned onto her side, watching him. It's getting worse. I have to do something, or he'll....Please, someone, Mom, Dad, Aeris, someone help me. I can't lose him. Tell me what to do, where to go. Please...
A/N: Okay, if Tifa seemed a bit OOC, I apologize. After re-reading it, I noticed that I had made her quite emotional, but hey, I thought it fit. Cloud's poisoned and she can't help him. I'd get pretty depressed if I was in that situation. Anyway, enjoy, everyone!
How will I start tomorrow without you here? Whose heart will guide me when all the answers disappear? Is it too late? Are you too far gone to stay? Best friends forever Should never have to go away What will I do? You know I'm only half without you How will I make it through? -If Only Tears Could Bring You Back- Mewtwo Strikes Back Soundtrack
Tifa slowly opened her eyes, feeling fully awake for the first time since she'd arrived in Cosmo Canyon. Looking up to glance at the clock, she instead saw Cloud's face. A tiny smile crossed her lips, He stayed... She stared at his face for a moment, feeling reality's grip return. Cloud was still poisoned, he was still in danger. He suddenly stirred, pulling her closer to him in his sleep. She carefully slid from his embrace and climbed out of bed. Turning toward the window, she stared out at the sun which had already risen high into the sky. "So you were just gonna leave without saying anything?" a voice asked suddenly, startling her. She turned toward the bed. Cloud was lying on his side looking at her with a wry smile on his face. He sighed, stretching out on his back and closing his eyes. Walking back to the bed, she sat on the edge and gently lay her hand on Cloud's chest. "I didn't want to wake you up. I bothered you enough last night." He opened his eyes; they had suddenly gone serious, "Tif, you didn't bother me. You should've told me a long time ago." "It wouldn't have done any good if I had told you. Insomnia isn't cured just like that." Cloud took her hand and pulled her down onto his chest, then wrapped his arms around her tightly, "But I don't want you to suffer alone. We've both done too much of that." Tifa nodded, then gently kissed him, "Thanks, Cloud...for staying with me. I feel better." She chuckled, "I can actually stand up without worrying about falling flat." Cloud smiled; it was good to hear her laugh again. She hadn't seemed genuinely happy since they'd arrived at Cosmo Canyon, and with good reason. Everyone had tried to cheer her up, to keep her mind off of his poisoning, but with little success. Even as that thought crossed his mind, her eyes took on a dark, haunted look again. She snuggled against his chest, squeezing her eyes shut. "Tif..." he sighed, rubbing her back. "I'm so scared of losing you, Cloud. I don't wanna be alone anymore..." she whispered, her voice muffled. He held her tight, at a loss for words. He couldn't promise her he'd be alright, but he hated seeing her like this. Her despair rippled across their bond like the disturbed surface of an usually tranquil lake. "Cloud! Tifa! Time for breakfast!" Cid's gruff voice called. Tifa stood up reluctantly, not saying a word. Cloud took her hand and squeezed it tightly, hoping to somehow ease her sorrow. "'bout time you two got your slow asses in here." Cid growled as they walked in hand in hand. As they took their seats at the table, everyone began to quickly devour their meal. Tifa stared down at her food, unable to muster the will to eat. After a long moment, she got up from the table and went outside. Cloud stood to go after her, only to be stopped by Vincent. "No, Cloud. Let her be by herself for a while. She needs time to think." Slowly shaking his head, Cloud sat back in his chair, his face troubled. "She hasn't been herself lately." Reeve observed. "Of course she hasn't!" Yuffie said in exasperation. "Cloud's hurt. You know how she gets about him." "You would do the same if the one you loved was in danger of death." Red commented. "She's got insomnia because of me." Cloud said quietly. The group looked at him. "Insomnia?" Barret asked. Cloud nodded, "Yeah. She hasn't been able to sleep since we got here. She's been helping Alex look through the books at night. I caught her sneaking back in last night. I didn't know...I should've, but I didn't. She fell asleep last night finally, but only because I stayed with her; she begged me to." The door creaked open, and Tifa quietly slipped back into the house. Without a word, she resumed her seat at the table and picked at her breakfast. Cloud studied her face intently, sensing things that no one else would have been able to see. Tifa had become a master at hiding her emotions, but he could see through it. She'd been crying, he knew that much. Looking up at him, Tifa forced a smile onto her face. "Morning, guys." she said. A murmured reply came from the group, who was intent on their meals. "How do you feel, Tifa?" Vincent asked. She met his eyes, masking her surprise at his concern, "I'm...okay." Vincent never seemed worried about anyone, and his question caught Tifa off guard. Vincent searched her face for a moment, then nodded. After the group had finished, Tifa was busily washing the dishes, hoping to pull her mind for a moment from her troubles. "Hey, um...Tifa." Yuffie said, hoping to get Tifa's attention. She turned, "Yeah?" "I'll do the dishes today, you take a break." the young ninja offered. Tifa shook her head, "I thought you were going to the Gold Saucer." "It shouldn't take that long. Why don't you and Cloud go spend some time together?" "Yuffie, thanks, but-" Tifa started. Yuffie grabbed a plate from Tifa's hands, "Go. Just chill for a while and try to forget all this." "But Cloud doesn't want to-" Yuffie grinned mischieviously, "It was his idea...kinda. He told me that he thought you needed to just get away for a while and relax, that he wished he could convince you to do something. I just gave his idea motivation." "Yuffie..." "Get outta here. I mean it, go. He's outside with Cid." Tifa heaved a reluctant sigh, walking out into the early morning sunlight. Cloud was leaning against the wall of the house, talking to Cid about the engines on the Highwind. As she approached, he pushed off the wall and went to her side. "Hey, sis, you let Yuffie do the dishes?" Cid asked. Tifa nodded, "Yeah, she was persistent." Cid laughed, "'bout time that girl took up some responsibilities." Tifa shrugged, then turned a mock-accusing eye on Cloud, "She said it was all your idea." "Huh?" Cid flicked his cigarette onto the ground, "I gotta go work on the ship, I'll see you guys later." The pilot jogged off toward his 'baby', leaving Cloud and Tifa alone. "Well, Cloud? Was it your idea?" Tifa asked. He shifted uneasily, "I just said that I thought you needed to relax, maybe get out of here for a while, I didn't think she'd...I'm sorry, Tif. But, I just...Why don't we go somewhere?" She stared at him for a moment, then nodded, "Okay, I'll go." she said quietly, a faint smile on her lips. Cloud slid his arm around her waist as they walked down the stairs going up the wall of the canyon to where their chocobos were tied. Renon and Cerasi warbled happily as they approached. Untying Renon, Cloud jumped on the chocobo's back and extended his hand to Tifa. She looked up at him in confusion. "What about Cerasi?" Tifa asked. "She'll be okay." Tifa chuckled and took his hand, wrapping her arms around his waist as he pulled her up behind him. Cloud nudged Renon into a run, bolting them across the rocky area around Cosmo Canyon to the grasslands that lay beyond. After a long time, Tifa lay her head on Cloud's shoulder, "Where are we going?" she whispered in his ear. "Nibelheim." Tifa smiled, feeling a tugging of homesickness at her heart, "That's a great idea...." Cloud looked back at her, "I knew you'd like it." Tifa squeezed him tight, "Thanks, Cloud..." Soon the small mountain village came into view. It was still abandoned, no sounds came from inside. Stopping Renon at the gates, Cloud helped Tifa down and they walked into their hometown. "It so quiet...I don't know why anyone doesn't live here anymore. It's kinda...sad." Tifa whispered, slowly walking over to the well. Reaching out, she gently lay her hand on the weathered wood, her eyes taking on a faraway look. "So many memories burnt into oblivion." She turned to Cloud, her eyes misted with tears, "Memories lying under our feet, nothing more than ash. Memories...and people...Daddy...I don't know what happened to him after the reactor. And your mom...Davis, Erik, and Jeremy, they're gone too. It's all gone, Cloud." Her eyes suddenly narrowed, "This place, it's only a lie. A dream to cling to, nothing more than us refusing to let go. There's no one else left to cling to this place, just us...it's pathetic." "Tifa..." Cloud said, surprised at the venom in her voice. "Tif, that's not it. Maybe it is just a replica, but it's still our home, isn't it? No matter what, no one can take that from us. These buildings, they don't even really matter...this place is home." "No, Cloud. It's all an illusion, don't you see?" Cloud took her by the shoulders, "What's wrong with you, Tif? You've never acted this way about Nibelheim; you've always loved being here." She dropped her eyes, ashamed to meet his gaze, "I...don't know." Cloud felt her begin to tremble. "I do love being here, Cloud...I...I don't know what's happening to me. Everything just seems so...dark, so pointless anymore." Cloud stared down at the top of her head, realizing suddenly what was wrong. She'd gone into a deep depression, one that was devouring her from inside. "Tifa, no...don't say that. It's not pointless." "How's that? Everyone that I knew, that I loved is gone. They're never coming back...Never." she whispered. "I'm still here, Tif." he said quietly. She looked up at him suddenly, her eyes intense, "For how long, Cloud? How long until Jenova's poison takes you away too? Then what? I won't have anyone....nothing." She fell silent, still trembling. Sliding his arms from her shoulders, he pulled her to his chest, holding her close. "I'm not going to leave you. It'll be alright. Somehow...somehow I will fight. No matter what it takes, I won't leave you." She pressed her face into his chest, "You can't know that...you can't. I-I wanna believe that something...that we can find something, but..." She drew in a shaky breath, then looked up at him, "I...I'm sorry, Cloud. I know you wanted me to come out here to relax, and I'm ruining it." "No, it's okay. You don't need to keep doing this to yourself. It's okay to break down sometimes, you shouldn't keep bottling it up like that." he said, lifting one hand to tenderly stroke her cheek. The harsh pain in Tifa's eyes seemed to melt, and she smiled faintly at him, "Thanks, Cloud." She stared up into his eyes for a long moment before speaking, "Why don't we go to the cemetary? I...wanna go see Mom and Dad." Cloud nodded, then started off with her to the cemetary. As she found her parent's graves, he stood at a distance, watching her as she knelt down. Her quiet voice carried over to him in the peaceful silence. "I'm sorry...I know I haven't been around much. So much has happened..." Tifa gently swept a layer of dust from the tombstone, "Mom...you were right about Cloud; he is a sweet boy. I don't know...if you can see me or not, but I...I love Cloud." She chuckled, making a faint smile cross Cloud's face. "I guess you've always known that. Ever since the day Cloud and I met, it seemed like you were trying to help me get to know him better and all. Don't worry, Dad, Cloud is taking care of me. He's always been there, no matter what. You always said that we all have a soulmate, Mom, I...never really believed it to tell the truth, but now...I do." "Tif..." Cloud murmured. She suddenly turned toward him, "Cloud, come over here." He went to her side and knelt down, giving her a curious look. She slid her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. "Cloud's here, Mom, Dad. Can you see us? Don't worry about me anymore, I'll be alright." she whispered. "I promise." Cloud added, looking over at Tifa and seeing the tears in her eyes. Tifa pulled slightly from him, gently kissing her fingers and touching them to the tombstone, "I love you." They slowly climbed to their feet, and Tifa suddenly turned and sank into Cloud's arms, "You think they even heard me?" He held her close, "Of course they did." "But it's been so long...they've returned to the Planet by now." "I think part of someone always remains, looking over the ones they love. They're still with you, Tif, watching over you." She sighed, "I hope so. I want you to still be there." "Tifa, I'm not-" She looked up at him suddenly, "Stop it, Cloud! You don't know anything, so stop making promises you can't keep!" "Then what do you want me to do!? You're slipping into a depression I can't do anything about, so just what are you wanting me to do? No, Tifa, I can't promise I'll be okay, but I can promise that I won't leave you without a fight. You used to be so optimistic, and now it's like you're wanting this to turn out for the worst. I know you're scared, but you can't just give up like this. You have to stay strong." She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face, "Why? Why do I have to be strong? I can't...I just can't." "You can, Tif, I know you can. I...need you to be strong. I can't fight this without you. " Cloud whispered. He felt her hand clench on his back, clutching his shirt. "But what if I fail?" she asked, her forehead resting on his chest, "What if I can't help you? It's all my fault anyway. You came to save me, and this happened. All I've ever done is get you hurt. You joined Soldier because I ignored you, and you ended up in Hojo's experiment. You joined Avalanche because of me. If you hadn't you'd be far away now...you'd be okay. It's all my fault..." she started sobbing, "All my fault...." Cloud looked down at her, feeling each sob as if it were torn from his own heart, "No. It's not your fault. You have to believe that. Jenova was the one who started it all. She poisoned me, not you. Tifa, please...stop blaming yourself." She didn't respond, falling into relative silence, with only an occasional sob breaking through, then she nodded, "I know it's not my fault, but...but you did come to save me, and that's how you ended up like this." He gently stroked her hair, "I told you, I was ready to give my life for you." She sniffled, clutching his shirt tighter, "I'm just so scared. I keep trying to be strong, but...I keep breaking down like this. I'm sorry, Cloud." "No. Don't be sorry. You've been trying to keep it all inside too long, suffering alone." He gently tilted her tear-streaked face up to his, "But I'm here. You're not alone, Tif. This is the whole reason I brought you out here. I know you never let your pain show because you're always worried about someone seeing...you think they're going to think you're weak for crying. It doesn't make you weak....Just cry, Tif. I'll be right here. Just cry." he said quietly. She stared up at him for a moment, an unfathomable pain filling her eyes, then she pressed her face against his chest again. Cloud held her as tight as he could, feeling her warm tears soak through his shirt. She was no longer sobbing, but Cloud knew that her silent tears indicated a far deeper pain. "Cloud...I-I love you..." He gently rested his head against hers, "I love you, too." She stirred, looking up at him, her eyes red from crying. Cloud leaned forward and tenderly kissed her, pulling her closer to him. "I guess we should go back now." Tifa whispered as he released her. "Yeah." They turned to walk away, Tifa clutching Cloud's hand tightly. Tifa started to lean against him, when he suddenly collaped, nearly pulling her down as well. "Cloud!" she screamed, cradling him in her arms. He stared up at her, his eyes unfocused. His breath came in short, pained gasps as his whole body tensed. He reached out to Tifa through their bond, using her presence as an anchor against the storm of pain. A loud roaring filled his ears, almost drowning out Tifa's cries. He could barely see her, despite the fact that her face was only inches from his own. Waves of fire ran through his veins, feeling as if his life's blood was being boiled away. "Tif...a..." He heard himself as if from far away, his voice barely recognizable as his own. "Cloud..." Tifa stared down at him through a blur of tears, "Cloud, no...please...not again." She suddenly felt Cloud's hand wrap around her own. At that moment, he suddenly went into convulsions, his eyes rolling back as his grip on Tifa's hand loosened. A horrified scream tore itself from her throat, and she held him tighter in a vain attempt to stop his convulsions. She could sense his intense pain as if it were her own. Gritting her teeth against the onslaught that was nothing but a pale echo of Cloud's suffering, she reached out to him searching blindly throught the maelstrom that surrounded his presence. Suddenly she felt his soul entwine around hers. He clung to her desperately, needing her strength to fight the pain that was overtaking them both. After what seemed as an eternity in blazing agony, the pain subsided, and Tifa looked down at Cloud's still form in her arms. He was alive, she felt his soul still entwined with her own, but his mind was quiet. She tenderly brushed a strand of hair from his face and leaned over, kissing his forehead. "Oh, Cloud...when is this gonna end?" she whispered, slowly climbing to her feet with him in her arms. She carried him into her house, lying him on a bed in what used to be her parents' room so long ago. She called the others on her PHS, hoping to get an answer. Knowing them, they were all probably off at the Gold Saucer. "Hello?" a rather bored voice asked. "Yuffie?" "Tifa? What's up? Did something happen?" Tifa turned back to look at Cloud, "Yeah. Cloud...it happened again. He passed out, so were in my house at Nibelheim. The poison's getting worse." "He had another attack!?" Yuffie cried. "Yeah. Yuffie, calm down, he's okay. Just, I don't think we're gonna be able to make it back tonight. I'm not sure when he's gonna wake up. Just tell the others so they don't get worried, okay?" "Yeah, okay, Tifa. Be careful out there." "I will. Bye." Tifa lay the phone on the table and collapsed on the bed next to Cloud's. Heaving a sigh, she turned onto her side, watching him. It's getting worse. I have to do something, or he'll....Please, someone, Mom, Dad, Aeris, someone help me. I can't lose him. Tell me what to do, where to go. Please...
A/N: Okay, if Tifa seemed a bit OOC, I apologize. After re-reading it, I noticed that I had made her quite emotional, but hey, I thought it fit. Cloud's poisoned and she can't help him. I'd get pretty depressed if I was in that situation. Anyway, enjoy, everyone!