Disclaimer: Despite long absence...I still own nothing.

Distribution: Sure, just tell me where.

I know, I know. I'm terrible, horrible, have not updated since like...dinosaurs walked the earth. But hey, forgive me coz I'm back! Yay! Anyway, have been trying to choose between two potential endings and would love to hear opinions. Sad one, (all tortured and tragic), or happy one, (difficult journey but happy ending).

She just knew that there was something going on. They were all so freaky around her. Why couldn't they just tell her the truth? Did they think that she couldn't handle it? It wasn't like she'd never got in dangerous situation before and come out the other side just fine and here they were babying her like she was helpless.

Dawn lay on her bed having just stomped out of her sister's birthday party. She was kinda sorry that she had done that in the middle of the party, she hadn't wanted to ruin the night. It was just that she felt...alone. Cut off from everything around her, more importantly, from everyone. She just had to find a way to...belong.

She needed to know what they were keeping from her, Dawn got up from her bed and headed for her closet. "Hey little bit."

She whirled round to face the door, "Spike! What do you want?"

He didn't seem bothered by her harsh tone, he just came in and sat down on her bed, "Feeling okay?"

"Happy with a side order of pleased that would be not me."

Spike nodded, "Yeah, getting that vibe from you. You wanna talk about it?"

Dawn felt her temper flare, "Why? So that you can avoid the question and pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about?"

Spike felt a smile twitch at the corners of his mouth. The little bit was so like Buffy. Which when he thought about it wasn't really that surprising. To all intents and purposes she was Buffy, a younger smaller, and non-smaller version, but still...Buffy. "I know what you mean, and I know that it hurts you that they're funny round you, but they don't mean to be. They love you."

Dawn dropped her head, slightly ashamed of her outburst, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. But, you don't understand what it's like. I'm surrounded by people who are talking about me constantly behind my back. People who I spend all of my time with. I just feel...really cut off."

Spike arched an eyebrow, "You think I don't know what it feels like to have that particular group of people talking behind my back? Ever since me and your big sis got together I know what they're talking about. How wrong I am for her. How much I don't deserve her. I know that anyway, but it doesn't make it any easier for me to know they're talking about it."

Dawn met his gaze unflinchingly, "I don't."

He didn't answer for a second. "Thanks little bit."

It wasn't exactly that Spike hadn't made her feel better, he had. However, she still had to know. She ran her hand along the underside of the counter. Her fingers ran over the lump that was a small button. She pressed it. A draw slid open. She shone her torch inside the draw and picked up a small journal, Giles' notes. She sat down on the floor and began to read. Maybe there would be something in here...

"So he sent you a card?" Willow sat down next to Tara and twined their fingers.

"Who sent a card?" Buffy showed the card from Riley to Tara, "Awww, it's sweet," she paused, "It is sweet right?"

Buffy smiled, "Yeah, it means that...well, wherever he is, it means that he's okay. I'm just glad about that."

Tara smiled back, "So all is right with the wor..." he eyes went wide as she stared at something over Buffy's shoulder, "Oh, oh my God!"

Buffy jumped up and looked over to the doorway. Dawn was stood there. She had a kitchen knife in one hand. Her other arm was held out in front of her. There was a cut, at least two and a half inches long running down her arm. Her face was tear-stained and her voice shook when she spoke, her eyes staring at some point in the distance, "Is this blood?"

Joyce and Buffy ran over to Dawn. Joyce put her hands on her daughter's arms and Buffy took the knife out of her hand. Buffy felt panic course through her. Not her sister. No. Please no. "Dawn! What did you do?!"

Tears started to course down her cheeks again, "This is blood isn't it? It can't be me. I'm not a key. I'm not a thing."

Joyce quickly tried to cover, "Oh sweetie no. What is this all about?"

An edge of steel crept into Dawn's voice, "What am I? Am I real? Am I anything?"

Joyce threw her arms around her baby and held her tight. Dawn gave up fighting the tears. Btu she wouldn't hug her mother back.

Spike felt his heart ache for the girl and her mother...and Buffy.

Spike saw the others to the door. Giles wasn't exactly sure that he should be leaving, "Do you think that I should stay and try to help?"

Spike smiled slightly, "Sure Watcher. What would you say?"

Giles could not think of anything to say. He met Spike's eyes. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to keep out of the way until they say they need me."

Giles nodded and left.

He climbed the stairs and he could hear raised voices, "...I know that I care about you. I know that I worry about you."

Dawn cut her sister off, "You worry about me because you have to. I'm your job. Protect the key right?"

Buffy tried desperately to explain, "I worry because my sister is cutting herself."

Dawn's voice turned shrill almost as though she was about to become screamingly hysterical, "Really? How do you know? Maybe it's just another fake memory from my fake family."

Joyce spoke for the first time since Spike came into hearing. She sounded utterly lost, "Sweetie."

"Get out." Spike heard no movement at first. Then Dawn finally lost control, of her emotions completely, "Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

From the end of the hall, Spike saw Buffy and then her mother exit the room. With some communication that was totally non-verbal, Joyce headed straight for her room and Buffy walked straight to him and into his arms. He pulled her tight to him and led her into her room. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he picked her up as though she was a small child.

Sitting on the bed, he stroked her back, telling her that he loved her and that they would fix it. Together they were going to fix it.

After a few moments she said something that he couldn't hear even with his vampire hearing, "What luv?"

"How?"

He didn't know what to say to that.

The three of them sat in the living room. Dawn had been suspended from school. Buffy and her mom were arguing. Most men sat in that situation would have been very embarrassed. Spike wasn't. He was very aware that it didn't make any difference whether or not he was in the room. They would be saying the exact things.

He was almost waiting for the right moment. When he thought that he might be able to help. He didn't know what could possibly help.

"How can you talk about Dawn as if she's a thing?"

"I'm not." Buffy struggled to explain, "I'm just saying that's probably how she feels."

"Well then we need to show her that it isn't true. She needs to know that she's still a part of this family and that we love her."

"It's not that simple. We're not going to be able to fix this with a hug and a kiss and a bowl of soup. Dawn needs to know where she came from. She needs real answers."

"What she need is her sister Buffy. Not the Slayer."

Buffy looked outraged and for a moment Spike was worried that she might get angry with her mom, "The Slayer is the only thing standing between Dawn and this god from the bitch dimension that wants to shove her in some kind of lock and give her a good twirl." Looking at Joyce, Spike saw the absolute terror that very concept inspired in Joyce. The idea of one of her children and he knew that Joyce still thought of Dawn as that, could be so much in danger. Dawn had always been the one she didn't really have to worry about. Buffy as the slayer, was the one who gave the most cause for concern. Now Dawn. Before Buffy could carry on though, Spike smelt something, "Buffy..."

She turned to look at him and he could tell that she had almost forgotten that he was there, "Spike?"

"There's something..." Spike got to his feet just as a loud whirring noise began, "Dawn!"

He sprinted up the stairs with Buffy following him, "Oh my God it's Glory, it's Willow's spell..."

"No luv, it's not Glory."

He pushed open Dawn's bedroom door and saw the fire in the metal bin. His automatic instinct was to shy away; he and fire did not mix very well. But he helped Buffy fling a blanket over the top to stifle the flames. "God, damn it! Dawn!"

"Buffy," Joyce's voice made Spike look around the room. Dawn was gone.

"We have to find her. Before the Knights of hack-n-slash figure out what...who she really is."

Spike stood and listened to the conversation. He had never seen Buffy like this. She was just one step short of manic and he knew it. Spike ached to hold her. He wanted to try to make her feel better, but he knew that there was only one way to do that. To find Dawn. His eyes flicked to her face when she said his name, "...you and I'll get the east side. Just find her. Please."

Dawn wondered down the side of the road. She had been everywhere. Trying to...she didn't know what exactly she had been trying to do. Maybe, trying to convince herself that she existed, that she mattered. That she wasn't just a key.

She remembered things. How could they not have happened? How could they not exist except in her mind? It wasn't possible, surely, it wasn't possible. I couldn't be true. Maybe there'd been a mistake. It wasn't possible...the tears started to course down her cheeks...it wasn't true...it wasn't fair.

It just wasn't fair.