Imaginary

They see me as perfect…I am the perfect person, the leader of the class, the epitome of all that is unreachable.  I am the doll that is prized by all that desire power and fame…there is no one who does not doubt my abilities nor do they question my intentions…

Perfect by nature
icons of self-indulgence

But…I am dying…I am lost and I am in so much pain…They don't see the suffering, the pain and the fact that inside I bleed my regrets in a crimson wave…Not a day goes by that I wonder why…why this had to happen…why this has gone the way it did…where were they when I needed them the most!

Let me stay
where the wind will whisper to me

They don't know the truth…they don't want to, to them I am nothing but an icon, just another person who will be gone eventually, I lay alone dying inside, I pray and I find myself swallowed up by the sounds of my screaming, the tears that I have hid begin to drown me…

They only see the lie that I have hid myself behind, the mask of the enigmatic, the beautiful and the eccentric.  I look in the mirror and see nothing but the truth…

I am the mask you have created, The lie that they all desire to be the light that is beyond the darkness, The lord of all that is great.  I am what you have always wanted to be And finally are.

Bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending

I forsaken everything…I have given up everything to become this…this fool!  This mask that I now must hide behind!  I don't want it…you don't know how you have betrayed me…how you have ruined me, how you have…destroyed me…

I know the truth now
I know who you are
and I don't love you anymore

My soul cries, and my wounds desire death…they desire the grave, the darkness and the release into the world of my dreams…the world I created to escape…You.

You're not real and you can't save me

I have discovered the truth, the lies and the darkness…I call for help…but no one comes…no one knows, I am not afraid of what lays beyond this world…I can feel it, as I draw my last breath, my last ruptured light…I am not perfect…I know you will hear me and I know you will cry…. but I am not what you perceive me to be…I am only human…I am only…

Toudou Hijiri…