After being vaporized by the evil muffin Seymour, Tidus was dead,
well almost. The only thing that kept him alive was this thing called life
support, which supported his life.
Tidus was found by the old, hairy lady that cleaned Tidus' house. Using her super mole hair powers, she was able to send out her mole hair minions to rescue him. The mole hair minions found Tidus as a pile of dust in front of Yuna's house. Finding Tidus as a pile of dust scared the old lady, for she was also a huge body builder grandma, and his bodyguard. As soon as she found him she took him to the hospital...in the sky!
The doctors said that the only way they could bring Tidus back was if they placed his brain into somebody else's body. After discussing this with the doctor, he told the grandma body builder and bodyguard: "All you have to do is pick a body for Tidus, it can be anything from an animal, to an actual human, but I suggest a muffin, they're very yummy!"
So Grandma decided upon a muffin with the super abilities to convince people to convert to Buddhism, and make people constipated. Tidus's small brain was then converted into the fat, blueberry muffin's body.
Five days later, Tidus woke up from his operation tired and constipated. After spending the rest of the week in a bathroom wallpapered with pastries, Tidus went out to thank his bodyguard grandma.
After saying "you're welcome" Grandma gave Tidus a piggy-back ride over to Wakka's house in Besaid. "Ya man! Yo! You're a muffin now, man?" Wakka asked as he answered the door for Tidus, "And why is my sister giving you a piggy-back ride man?" He asked while motioning to Grandma.
"Your Sister? She's my big hairy mole body guard!" Tidus exclaimed. They both gasped to create an exciting atmosphere, and then walked into Wakka's hut.
It took a while for Tidus to make it through Wakka's doorway, but after eating around the edges, Wakka finally got Tidus in. "Ya man! You taste good!" Wakka exclaimed at a freaked out Tidus. "I'll just pretend that never happened..." Tidus answered. "Whatevea man! Do what you want, but I'm gonna tell all the upper class men at school how yummy you are."
Shrugging off Wakka's stupidity, the two young men settled down for pedicures and stories about girls they really like at school.
While Tidus telling a giggling Wakka about the time he stuck his fingers up Yuna's nose, a shadow appeared in the doorway. Both Wakka and Tidus looked up to see the vaporizing muffin, Seymour towering over them!
All three of them gasped to create yet another exciting moment, then Wakka and Tidus began to break out in song, "Muffin's are delicious muffins are great! I ate a muffin once and it made me LATE!" They concluded the song by grabbing Seymour by the arm and twirling him around in merry dance. They all clapped at the end, and Seymour's face grew serious once more.
"I have come here to challenge you to a duel Yugi...I mean, Tidus MUFFIN MAN!!!"
"It's time to duel!" Yelled Tidus while taking a pointy headband out of his pocket and sticking it on his muffin-shaped head, "I choose you! Pikachu!"
"Not that kind of duel you moron! We're going to duel to the death! You and me, hand to hand combat!" Seymour cried out, sticking his hand out with his thumb up, like a hitch-hiker.
After playing an intense game of thumb wresting, in which there was no victor, Seymour decided upon a new way of settling it, "okay, here it is, we eat a lot of McDonalds and grow really fat. Then, whoever dies of heart disease first loses!"
"You're on!" Cried Tidus, tears streaming from his eyes from the intense pain he felt in his toe (that's another story).
So every day, Tidus and Seymour ate at McDonalds and got very fat and greasy. After a month, they put aside their differences and became fast friends. Tidus had gained a big beer belly (Seymour already had one) which gave him idea, so one day he exclaimed, "I have an idea! We can become biker chicks...I mean, hunks and ride across the country! We can go to Mexico! We can grow long biker beards and braid them and put pretty bows and clips in them and put them in pony-tails!" Seymour agreed that that was a very good idea, and along with Wakka, they rode of into the smog of Mexico, just them, and Seymour's hair...
The conclusion...or is it?!
Tidus was found by the old, hairy lady that cleaned Tidus' house. Using her super mole hair powers, she was able to send out her mole hair minions to rescue him. The mole hair minions found Tidus as a pile of dust in front of Yuna's house. Finding Tidus as a pile of dust scared the old lady, for she was also a huge body builder grandma, and his bodyguard. As soon as she found him she took him to the hospital...in the sky!
The doctors said that the only way they could bring Tidus back was if they placed his brain into somebody else's body. After discussing this with the doctor, he told the grandma body builder and bodyguard: "All you have to do is pick a body for Tidus, it can be anything from an animal, to an actual human, but I suggest a muffin, they're very yummy!"
So Grandma decided upon a muffin with the super abilities to convince people to convert to Buddhism, and make people constipated. Tidus's small brain was then converted into the fat, blueberry muffin's body.
Five days later, Tidus woke up from his operation tired and constipated. After spending the rest of the week in a bathroom wallpapered with pastries, Tidus went out to thank his bodyguard grandma.
After saying "you're welcome" Grandma gave Tidus a piggy-back ride over to Wakka's house in Besaid. "Ya man! Yo! You're a muffin now, man?" Wakka asked as he answered the door for Tidus, "And why is my sister giving you a piggy-back ride man?" He asked while motioning to Grandma.
"Your Sister? She's my big hairy mole body guard!" Tidus exclaimed. They both gasped to create an exciting atmosphere, and then walked into Wakka's hut.
It took a while for Tidus to make it through Wakka's doorway, but after eating around the edges, Wakka finally got Tidus in. "Ya man! You taste good!" Wakka exclaimed at a freaked out Tidus. "I'll just pretend that never happened..." Tidus answered. "Whatevea man! Do what you want, but I'm gonna tell all the upper class men at school how yummy you are."
Shrugging off Wakka's stupidity, the two young men settled down for pedicures and stories about girls they really like at school.
While Tidus telling a giggling Wakka about the time he stuck his fingers up Yuna's nose, a shadow appeared in the doorway. Both Wakka and Tidus looked up to see the vaporizing muffin, Seymour towering over them!
All three of them gasped to create yet another exciting moment, then Wakka and Tidus began to break out in song, "Muffin's are delicious muffins are great! I ate a muffin once and it made me LATE!" They concluded the song by grabbing Seymour by the arm and twirling him around in merry dance. They all clapped at the end, and Seymour's face grew serious once more.
"I have come here to challenge you to a duel Yugi...I mean, Tidus MUFFIN MAN!!!"
"It's time to duel!" Yelled Tidus while taking a pointy headband out of his pocket and sticking it on his muffin-shaped head, "I choose you! Pikachu!"
"Not that kind of duel you moron! We're going to duel to the death! You and me, hand to hand combat!" Seymour cried out, sticking his hand out with his thumb up, like a hitch-hiker.
After playing an intense game of thumb wresting, in which there was no victor, Seymour decided upon a new way of settling it, "okay, here it is, we eat a lot of McDonalds and grow really fat. Then, whoever dies of heart disease first loses!"
"You're on!" Cried Tidus, tears streaming from his eyes from the intense pain he felt in his toe (that's another story).
So every day, Tidus and Seymour ate at McDonalds and got very fat and greasy. After a month, they put aside their differences and became fast friends. Tidus had gained a big beer belly (Seymour already had one) which gave him idea, so one day he exclaimed, "I have an idea! We can become biker chicks...I mean, hunks and ride across the country! We can go to Mexico! We can grow long biker beards and braid them and put pretty bows and clips in them and put them in pony-tails!" Seymour agreed that that was a very good idea, and along with Wakka, they rode of into the smog of Mexico, just them, and Seymour's hair...
The conclusion...or is it?!