Awfulness On April First
Chapter Two: Catching Merry Hell
Disclaimer: If I did own Lilo & Stitch, which I don't, the people who brought it to me would want to take it back by now.
Author's Note #2: I mentioned Christine in the last chapter, which probably confused some readers, since she wasn't in that chapter. She will be in the third chapter, though. Christine, like Gigglyn, is Mona's experiment. And yes, WoLfAmArOq, I know that you own Experiment 401...the Baby Fluride version. This 401 is named Gigglyn. I do not subscribe to the "Only One Unofficial Experiment Can Have a Certain Number" Theory.
Author's Note #3: I own Chlemyra. If you want to use her, go ahead, but be sure to credit me first.
Author's Note #4: Doesn't it bother you that I number my author's notes? Anyway, the "pilot" thing is from Dave Barry's Bad Habits.
##
When Lilo and Stitch returned home, Gigglyn was unceremoniously dumped onto the floor. She wasn't hurt much, but she let out a high-pitched squeal anyway.
That got the attentions of Jumba and Pleakley, the latter of whom was writing an essay about the shocking amount of crime in his fandom's fiction. It began: Have you ever been walking down the street of wherever you live in this fandom, and some demonic-looking creature suddenly sneaks up on you and slices off your arm? Well, that's certainly no picnic. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon around here.
That's not important right now, though. What you need to know is that Jumba came downstairs, with Pleakley trailing him.
"We find new cousin," Stitch addressed them.
Jumba gasped. "Oh, no. That is not being good thing."
"What's wrong with her?" asked Lilo. "I mean, she sure is loud, but besides that."
"You have found Experiment Four-Oh-One. Was originally designed to be instigator of war—I liked war, as you have probably been noticing. But I was mildly intoxicated when programming her, so Four-Oh-One turned out as practical joker with enormous mean streak."
"Don't tell me," Pleakley groaned. "She's one of those experiments that treat me like an inflatable clown named Good-Beatdown-Needin' Lester. And nobody says anything about it, either. I don't have many fans, do I? And the few that I have are female. Why don't any male viewers seem to find me amusing?"
"Save it for the upcoming humorous angst fic, Pleakley," said Lilo.
Gigglyn curled her tail around Lilo's legs and pulled, tripping her.
"OW! What was that for?"
"Pay attention to me. And, yes, Sneedly, I am going to treat you like Good-Beatdown-Needin' Lester."
"My name is Pleakley. It is not Sneedly."
There was a four-second pause.
"Now what?" asked Stitch.
"Nani has to come home," Lilo explained.
Nani came home about six seconds later, thus keeping the plot in check.
"Hey, everyone. What's up?"
"We need to take in a mass, that's what," Pleakley responded.
"Let me guess. There's a new experiment in the house."
"That's right, sadly," Lilo said. "Don't go off on one of your anti-experiment-keeping tangents, please. We've all heard enough of them."
Gigglyn jumped up and slapped Nani.
"HEY! YOU LITTLE SPORE!"
"Pay attention to me."
"Second time Four-Oh-One said that," Stitch informed the audience.
"Call me Gigglyn. Oh, and in case you're wondering if 'pay attention to me' will become a catch phrase, like Kolobos's 'let the pain set you free,' then I'd like to say that I'm not going to be nearly popular enough for that happen. Hopefully, anyway."
Pleakley cleared his throat. "The word 'hopefully' is one of the most commonly misused words in the English language. It means 'in a hopeful manner.' It does not mean 'I hope.' You would have to say 'I hope not, anyway.' The author's English teacher misused this word, for crying out loud. So did the author's science teacher."
"What did I tell you about correcting people's grammar?" Nani asked threatingly.
"You told me to get my gold-trash goblin ass out of your business--your words, not mine. But grammar is important. I mean, imagine if you were going to a job interview to be a pilot, and you said, 'Well, I ain't never flied no actual airplanes or nothin', but I got several pilot-style hats and a bunch of friends who I like to talk about airplanes with.' Wouldn't that be awful?"
"Pay attention to me," Gigglyn warned again.
"Okay. Who's this little beast of burden?" Nani inquired.
"This is being Experiment Four-Oh-One," answered Jumba. "Designed to be war-instigator, but ended up as prankster. Very nasty. Maybe even murderous, but who can be telling? I certainly can't."
"Since she has nowhere to go, Gigglyn has to stay here for now," Lilo told Nani.
Pleakley attempted to smile, and began speaking to Gigglyn. "Welcome to our happy home, where life is beautiful all the time, with trees, and flowers, and chirping birds. You should be happy to see us nice young people in our clean, bright clothes."
"Pleakley's giving me the heebie-jeebies," Lilo whispered to Stitch.
"Ih," Stitch whispered back.
"Do not be talking to Four-Oh-One any longer!" Jumba pushed Pleakley aside.
"Why not?"
"Four-Oh-One has extrasensory perception. She can tell things about people just by looking at them. Was part of war-instigation programming--who better to start big argument than one who knows everything about someone?"
"That sounds like my old job," Pleakley replied.
Gigglyn opened her mouth, but Nani cut her off. "If you say 'pay attention to me' one more time, I'll punch your lights out."
##
It was nighttime. Gigglyn had decided to sleep in the kitchen. She wanted to have the kitchen for the night because that way, she could get out her potions without anyone noticing. She set them there for the time being.
"Now to get a head start on my April Fooling," Gigglyn said to herself.
She rode the elevator to Lilo and Stitch's inner sanctum. In it, there was a nightstand. She opened the bottom drawer, where Stitch kept some of his items. Gigglyn pawed through the drawer until she found a notebook. Thumbing through it, she came across a note to Angel. It was not written with a writing utensil; rather, Stitch had used his claws. Gigglyn tore a sheet of paper from the notebook, and forged an anonymous note, using her own claws. She stuffed the paper in a secret pouch in her fur, then went downstairs.
She entered the room of Jumba and Pleakley. This was considerably more interesting than what had happened upstairs, for Pleakley talked in his sleep. He didn't speak cohesively, either.
"Man, that funeral sucked. I have never seen so much blood. Stop that, or I'll call the police. I was born this way. I have got my mojo working. These aren't my markers! I'm the chosen one? Like, whoa. What's the purpose of this banana? There's a hyperactive bug in my retina."
Gigglyn stifled a guffaw, then opened a closet. She saw an abundance of beautifully crafted outfits. They had obviously been carefully made. She took them out, and replaced them with getups that were virtually identical.
She scampered downstairs, then quickly returned with a potion. Gigglyn walked into Nani's room, sprinkled a few drops of the liquid on Nani's face, then exited.
##
Gigglyn arrived at Gantu's spaceship. (Don't ask how. Use your imagination). She had brought two potions with her. One was a prosthetic-placer. The other was something else.
She opened the doors of a cupboard, and came across sandwich-making ingredients. Gigglyn made a ham-and-cheese-and-tuna-and-mayonnaise-and-lettuce-and-bacon-and-tomato-and-turkey-and-peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. Before placing the other slice of bread on the sandwich, she poured four drops of the prosthetic-placer potion in it.
She then ran over to the captain's chair. She let out five drops of the other potion, then dashed all the way back to the Pelekais' house. But first, she made herself a sandwich, to congratulate herself on a job well done.
##
NEXT TIME: Gigglyn gets really evil. Her pranks become more dangerous, and you'll get to see the reactions of her victims. Also, Christine appears in the next chapter.