Chapter 4: Enlightening Incident

Allisa had slept for some time when she awoke with questions about Shinzon. She resolved to go back to the holodeck to look over the program yet again. The entire day before seamed like a hallucination and she had to see the program to verify that it was real. He had prearranged her admittance to the program and she duplicated one of her own from it, so Shinzon would not be able to stumble across how often she visited the program.

Subsequent to sending a condensed telepathic message to Captain Picard, Allisa left the holodeck and ventured to her counseling center for her primary appointment of the day. It was with Paulera Va'Kiv a female member of medical personnel from Sick Bay who was a Trill with a Symbion. Allisa was in progress recalling some of the information she had researched about the Trill race. In appearance they looked exactly human except for a row of tiny spots running from the sides of their necks beside each ear down their bodies. After extensive medical and psychological profiling of a Trill who wishes to be joined with a Symbiont, then a Trill be considered as a host for a Symbiont.

She remembered reading that very few Trills are awarded with authorization for transplantation because of the emotional and psychological strain that can be caused by joining. If a host is not stable, the Symbiont can be killed. This would cause a loss of all of the information it has stored throughout centuries. A Symbiont is passed from host to host at the host's time of death. Allisa recollected that a Symbiont holds all of the host's life experiences in the form of memories for each new host. It is taken from the old host male/female bringing to a new host male/female all of its previous host's knowledge, intellect, personality and memories. Allisa started arranging her counseling area and making arrangements for additional things she would need.

Across the ship, Picard entered Shinzon's room, which was really one of his private rooms. Picard sat down on his couch and Shinzon followed his lead. "I have made all the arrangements to have your identity permanently changed to Renee my nephew. Beverly altered the medical reports to say that Renee survived and was taken to an undisclosed planet in secret. I informed my sister in law on Earth that there is a problem with the Romulans and if asked Renee's life was and continues to be in jeopardy. She agreed to say Renee was relocated for his protection. I have asked Admiral Janeway and she has paper work allowing Renee Picard admittance to the Briar Patch for healing of his wounds from the fire years ago.

The age difference will mean nothing after you have spent some time on the planet. This is the only way I have found to keep you safe from anyone who might try to find or hurt you. While you are there, you should be able to make a full recovery. I have informed the Remans that I have found a temporary place for you to recover fully. They wish to see you before you depart and are on their way."

Shinzon stood to his feet in obvious annoyance and anger at Picard's presumptions. He walked over to his port window that had a lovely display of space. Picard followed him hoping when they spoke earlier of a place to heal that he would except this one, "Shinzon it is the only way to fully heal you." Picard placed his hand on Shinzon's shoulder.

The full furry of Shinzon's rage emanated from his eyes towards Picard as he spoke in a controlled voice, "You expect me to go to your beloved Briar Patch and sit around for the next 5 years healing while my Reman brothers need me!"

Picard tried to keep his composure, "If the ability of the medallion to keep you well fails, you will die. Adije is sure that if you spend a year or two on her planet you will heal permanently. If after that time you wish to go back to Remus, I will do everything in my power to assist you. Here is a coded report from the Remans for you and another from Riker about what is happening on Remus. The Romulans have given Remus to the Remans and both planets have their own independence from each other. I have been told the Reman's are looking for another planet they once occupied, but keeping all assets of the mines for themselves. The Romulans are furious, but they are letting the Reman's have their freedom. They are both looked at as equals. Shinzon, do you know anything about this planet they occupied?"

Shinzon calmed and looked out the port window again, "There is a legend after the clans are united that they will seek out one of the worlds that was created and occupy it once again. It continues that if they are unable to find the one near by or if it is destroyed there are other created planets. Don't be so shocked Picard. The Reman home planet is not the Black Night they have worked in for to long. Their home is dark, but not that dark. So they are looking for it, good. I want to be out there with them searching…not walking some planet being called Renee…" The anger started to show on his features again as they sat in the chairs next to the port window.

Picard wondered if there was something to this created planet story or not. He determined to ask Star Fleet about it and Riker. Picard lowered his head and looked at his hands. He thought of all the things he had done in his life that were out of personal reasons. Some of them would have ended disastrously if someone had not spoken to him and made him look at himself, "Shinzon there is something I would like to tell you about from my past."

Picard proceeded to tell Shinzon the story about when the Borg took him. He explained how they took over his body and put his mind into the collective. Picard was forced to kill members of the Federation who were his long time friends and to assimilate others into the collective. "The Borg Queen was using me to destroy the Earth, and I was powerless even in my own body to resist while I was in the collective. I guess what upset me the most was seeing a clone of myself about to destroy the Earth as I almost was forced to do. Think how it would feel for the Borg to take your body over and make you destroy Remus with all the Reman's on it or to enslave them to the Borg eternally."

Shinzon looked at Picard with more understanding, "I would rip the head off of that Borg Queen."

Picard went into farther detail about how the Borg Queen used his knowledge of the Federation to her advantage. He allowed his emotions to be translucent to Shinzon who listened in wonder while seeing and feeling things from Picard telepathically. The officers of the Enterprise along with Guinan's words of advice to Riker, got him back. Picard then gave Data a way to make the Borg sleep. Once the Borg ship detected a problem, they destructed their own ship.

"Dr. Crusher may have been able to remove the implants as best she could and I looked human again, but I did not feel human. I could still see the faces of the people I assimilated. I still remember what it was like not having my individuality. It took me a long time before I came to terms with what happened or so I thought. Eventually I had to fight the Borg again. I could still hear their thoughts in my head. They went back in time to destroy Earth and we followed them. We destroyed them again, but not after considerable damage was done to the installation of Zephram Cochrane's from where the first human warp ship would be launched."

Picard stopped talking momentarily and ordered a hot cup of Earl Grey. Shinzon also ordered the same tea. They took a few sips before Picard continued, "The Borg Queen got onto the Enterprise and was taking it over. A woman from the past got through to me when I myself was on a rampage. My personal quest was to hurt the Borg because they had hurt me. At first I refused to destroy the Enterprise knowing it would kill the Borg. I did not want to give an inch, and I wanted to make them pay. If I would have continued on that path, I would have killed myself and all the things I hold dear. Can you believe she called me Ahab? I then realized what I had been doing and took steps to correct it. In the end the Borg were stopped and Earth was safe."

Picard peered out into space again with a far away look in his eyes as Shinzon intently watched him, "I lost my patience with you when we were on the Scimitar. I said you are not Reman, but you lived with them as if you were one and took on their ways and thoughts. I did not understand that then, but I do now. You see, I too had an unmasked rage within. When you said it amazed you how little I knew myself, I did not want to acknowledge that rage dwelt in me towards the Borg. We can see in each other's attributes that we do and some we don't have in common. We have the same genetic structure, but we are two completely different people. Yes, we have similar temperaments at times when we are threatened, but we have different human spirits…different souls."

Picard set aside his teacup, "We strive for different things…you are not my shadow or echo. You are your own person to make up your mind who you are in life. And those were not childish dreams you had long ago. You can still make the choice…it is not to late. They are possible, you just have to make a conscious choice to start to incorporate the new things you have learned into your perceptions. Have you even considered the possibility of falling in love and having a child? You want to help the Remans…good. You want to learn about your humanity…good. You can do them together in a life you chose with a family if you so desire.

It's not about fighting what you are. It's about exploring who you are not just grabbing one attribute and allowing it to overtake you. You have been given an opportunity. There were so many lost opportunities in my life and others I have known. Please, do not let this opportunity pass without gaining the rewards of it.

Picard looked into Shinzon's hazel eyes, "What you need to ask yourself is, are the actions I am taking helping the things I hold dear or am I simply destroying everything in my path including the Remans?" They continued talking for the next hour.

As Allisa flounced into a near by chair and scanned the counseling room happy with the results the door chimed, "Enter."

Paulera explained to Allisa that Captain Picard told her she could be wholly open with Allisa with reference to all situations on the Enterprise. For the next hour, Allisa listened quietly to Paulera with her recount of Shinzon and her aboard the enterprise. Allisa was agape with all the information that Paulera was freely divulging to her trust. Her recount was the conclusion to the story she heard and watched on the holodeck with Shinzon the day before.

Apparently Data put the Emergency Transport Unit (ETU) on Picard's shoulder to beam the captain back to the Enterprise from the Scimitar (Shinzon's ship). After his arrival, the entire crew mourned Data's sacrifice who without his emotion chip that had been destroyed by the Borg Queen had showed human emotion. He had finally transformed to what he endeavored to become. In death the android became human." Paulera paused from her story and had a few tears in her eyes at the thought of Data saying goodbye to the crew forever.

Allisa put a reassuring hand on Paulera's shoulder as she continued, "True his memories and thoughts had been transferred to B-4 the other android. Data, Worf, and Picard found he had been a decoy put into place by Shinzon. B-4 was still not Data. The cat, Spot, who was owned by Data had chosen to go with Worf instead of Geordi and was living in the Klingon's quarters presently. Worf has told of many strange things that have been happening with Spot lately."

"Lets see where was I?" She collected her thoughts for a moment, "Within the next hour Picard received help from Commander Donatra of the Valdore. While the Enterprise's doctor Beverly Crusher could do nothing to save Worf's life, the Valdore's ship doctor Venora, saved Worf's life knowing exactly what was the problem with his heart." Paulera told Allisa that since that day, when a Romulan Warbird assisted the Enterprise in fighting and then saved Worf, he changed his thinking of Romulans She was told by Worf that, "you can not judge a being by what race they are." And she quoted the Klingon while taking on his persona and voice as saying, "The Romulans fought with honor!"

Paulera lowered her voice a little and Allisa could sense a feeling of secrecy in her words, "They reported after that first hour to Picard that there was a problem with the Emergency Transport Unit (ETU). They called Doctor Crusher and I from Sick Bay to transporter room 3. There was a signal locked in the ships transporter buffer from the ETU. It was Shinzon, but Geordi did not know that it was his signal at first. Some how the ETU sent Picard to the bridge and Shinzon to transporter room three. Since they have the same DNA, the ETU tried to transport both men, but was unable to buffer Shinzon's signal correctly and sent him to the default. The computer did not know what to do with the signal and Geordi remembered something he learned from Captain Scottie."

Paulera's face became alive with expression, "Scottie was wrecked 75 years ago after leaving Kirk and the Enterprise. They discovered him in a transporter buffer on his ship that was wrecked on a Dysonsphere. It is a sphere created over a star to harness its energy. One can live inside the interior wall of the Dysonsphere, which looked like the surface of a class M planet with inexhaustible energy. This was the first time documented that a sphere like this was in use. It was all theoretical till that point.

The sphere was abandoned cause the star had become unstable and its occupants were nowhere to be found. He knew that he did not have enough supplies to wait for a rescue. Scottie and another crew member put themselves into the pattern buffer with the transporter locked in the diagnostic cycle. This would cause the pattern not to degenerate and cross connect with the phase inducers to provide a regenerative power source."

Paulers's violet eyes looked around the room as she spoke, "So Geordi put the signal of Shinzon into the buffer the same way and then went and contacted Picard. The Captain was contacted by a Reman who asked about Shinzon's body. Reluctantly, Picard told the Reman what had happened and what he was planning on doing to save the Reman's Praetor. Picard and Geordi found a way to stabilize Shinzon's medical condition by using the signal in the buffer and adding his own last transport tag. They sent his signal to Sick Bay and we repaired a wound on his abdomen. There were very little signs of the degeneration that Shinzon experienced from the adverse effects of his being cloned by the Romulans. Picard put a medallion called a Piontry upon Shinzon's neck, which started to heal his wounds faster. The effects the Piontry had on Picard to start with before the transporter tags combined were the key factor that stabilized Shinzon's condition. He would soon die if the medallion was taken away from him."

Paulera sat still and looked solemn as if her puppy had just died, "He has been isolated in the Captain's personal rooms since then. Picard told him not to leave the rooms unless it was to go to the holodeck and then only after contacting him first. The first month he had memory loss. When his memories started coming back he refused me to come to the rooms for medical assistance and has spoken to no one but Picard and Guinan since that time."

Paulera looked down at her hands as a few tears fell into them. "I know it sounds strange...I really like Renee and dislike Shinzon. Renee has lots of Picard's imperial qualities and aspiration for life and peace. Now that he knows who he is and Shinzon has returned he is exceedingly dissimilar. He became detached and confrontational. Even Picard spoke to me about his drastic mood change from a happy youth to a sinister Shinzon. Some how I assumed that once he looked at existence from Renee's stance of thinking, it would decrease the loathing and pain when he received his memory back...I was mistaken. I have been pining for the Renee I came to care for. Could you speak to Shinzon and try to help him?"

Allisa was speechless for a split second. "If the Captain asks me to, it is my duty as ships counselor."

She said in her professional voice as she read Paulera's hidden thoughts on what she meant by 'refused me to come to the rooms.' Allisa caught glimpses of Paulera treating a newly healed Shinzon. Then of Shinzon leaning over Paulera's delicate frame for a romantic kiss. Apparently the two of them had become very close while Shinzon experienced lack of memory and was called Renee. Allisa flinched as she viewed in her mind an incident the night before Shinzon's memories came back fully. They were caught up in wistful love making in zero gravity within the holodeck program of deep space when Shinzon whispered 'Troi' and Paulera became upset. Shinzon transformed within then without and told her to depart in a harsh tone. Since that time he would not allow anyone in the room but Picard and Guinan. "I will ask the Captain about this matter."

Paulera had a lost look on her face, "You see the thought of him being Shinzon of Remus scares me. He has killed hundreds of Romulans and tried to destroy Earth. I could not and cannot except that Renee is gone from me. I honestly love him and wanted to help him, but Shinzon is always there.

At that moment Picard's voice broke the silence, "Counselor Vendalla, please meet me in the observation lounge."

"Right away captain." Allisa looked to Paulera and forced herself to smile at her. "Well our session is over for now. If you want to schedule a session for next week, just contact me."

Paulera broke a smile, "Yes, I have missed Deanna's talks with me and you have helped me very much by letting me openly talk about all of this. Remember Counselor, Renee needs others to facilitate help for him. He is lost to himself in the depths of a Reman night."

Allisa left and as she walked to the turbolift she hoped Shinzon would be there and surprise her. When he was not, she thought about Paulera, 'that poor Trill…she loves Renee and he is gone…to her it is as if Shinzon kidnapped her lost love. I wish there was someone else she could talk to…a guy…to alleviate some of the pain and take her mind off of Renee. She is a Trill. Even when her consciousness is passed to another host, she will still have the memories.'

When Allisa arrived at the Observation Lounge there was a man sitting in the front chair she mistook for Picard. Allisa heard a translucent voice in her mind quoting Hamlet:

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep."

He turned around in the chair to face her and she gasped. "Oh, I did not expect you here."

He continued audibly: "No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law's delay, The insolence of office and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscover'd country from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action.- Soft you now! The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember'd."

Shinzon stalked toward her with the lights of the stars shining upon his masculine frame. He was fully aware that she had just come from a session with Paulera and had seen what had transpired between them. As he took her hand and kissed it tenderly he opened his mind to her. She could see when his memories started coming back from the sexual stimulation with Paulera. The feelings and thoughts made his mind think of his encounters telepathically with the other married counselor Troi.

Shinzon took Picard's talk into advisement and allowed Allisa to get closer to him. He knew he could show this side of himself to no one else but her. He felt her gentleness touching his mind, and he opened it to her.

Allisa's eyes filled with tears and her entire soul shook with the emotions that Shinzon felt that next day at discovering who he was and what had happened. Had it not been for Shinzon's hardy arms wrapping around her in sympathy, she would have fell to the floor with the intense feelings. She felt waves of regret, fear, panic at the loss of self, fury, misery, fortitude, retribution, concerning outlook, passion and longing in the darkest portions of his soul. Once again he closed his mind to only certain events to her and broke the connection slightly for her safeguard.

He whispered into her ear softly: "Why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners? I am myself indifferent honest; but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me: I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at my beck than I have thoughts to put them In, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in. What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves, all; believe none of us."

She came to herself leaning against Shinzon's formed chest with tears in her eyes starting to dissipate. She felt the warmth of his arms around her and his soft kisses on her forehead. She wondered at this man before her this mixture of Renee and Shinzon's persona. He allowed her access to his mind in small measures she noted. Until Shinzon's memories came back Picard decided to call him Renee instead of Shinzon. Allisa perceived the presence of the Shinzon who Picard had called Renee.

Renee (Shinzon) was healing from some deadly ordeal he thought with the knowledge that he was saved by Picard and the crew of the Enterprise. He spent a lot of time in the Captain's personal rooms gazing at the stars. He was in constant awe of the world in close proximity to him. Filled with a sense of hope and love for Picard and the Federation. Hearing stories of the Picard family and of Picard's own adventured in deep space exploration during the day and laying in Paulera's arms at night. He awoke to the realization that the other him (Shinzon) had tried to destroy all of it just as Picard said. Shinzon once again, pulled himself apart from all others save Picard and Guinan to stretch his mind out with the new found power of the medallion around his neck. He spoke out toward Remus in search for Kunak, the brother of his now dead Viceroy, Vkruk. At that moment Allisa understood Kunak to be the other voice she had heard that was in need of information from Picard.

Allisa, recalling the play from her Ancient Earth Literature class for the Federation Academy spoke in turn:
"O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown! The courtier's, soldier's,
scholar's, eye, tongue, sword; The expectancy and rose of the fair
state,
The glass of fashion and the mould of form, The observed of all
observers,
quite, quite down! And I, of ladies most deject and wretched,
That suck'd the honey of his music vows, Now see that noble and most
sovereign reason, Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh;
That unmatch'd form and feature of blown youth Blasted with ecstasy:
O, woe is me,To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!"

Shinzon completely gave into the urge to offer himself to Allisa. He tipped away from her to view her emerald eyes that were filled with an advancing storm and see her soul. He found her responsive to his attentions and thoughts. With his arm still around her, he lowered his hand to her tiny waist and pressed his body to hers. Letting his other hand rise to her slender neck. He traced a line with the tips of his fingers over her neck and up to her chin. He felt her sizzling body against his creating awareness between them both of their desires.

Shinzon brushed her hair back and held it in his fingers remembering a phrase he had spoken, 'Can I touch your hair?' Shinzon developed a smirk on his face and Allisa understood its meaning. He gazed unwaveringly back to her eyes in wonder at the woman before him, 'I awoke as Renee only to find a growing pains within. Feeling dead...feeling pain...absence of humanity and yet before me she brings my soul to life.'

Once again releasing his thoughts to Allisa from Shakespeare, but this time it was Romeo and Juliet: "O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard. Being in night, all this is but a dream, Too flattering-sweet to be substantial."

Allisa's skin became even warmer to his sensual touches as she also gave in to the urge in their thoughts. He lowered his full lips to her reaching lush mouth slowly. Their minds and bodies were transfixed in time as the passionate kiss encompassed all their senses. The mystery and depths of his longing only worked as a fuel for their enthusiasm. The moment was broken by the telepathic transmission that someone was at the door. Allisa managed to separate herself from Shinzon's kiss and rested her head back upon his chest hearing his heart bounding. She still felt like everything was not real…caught in a dream. She hoped she did not wake to find she had not even made it to the Enterprise yet.

He quietly spoke to her mind: "It is my soul that calls upon thy name: How silver-sweet sound lovers' tongues by night, Like softest music to attending ears!"

Before she could pull herself from Shinzon's mind or his arms the door opened. Picard walked into the room to witness the two distracted people he had called to the Observation Lounge to meet each other. Allisa's eyes were fixed on Picard with her hands and one side of her face upon Shinzon's chest. Shinzon's arm was around her and the other was wistfully smoothing the hair from her face with his eyes closed.

There was a grim facade about Picard at witnessing this turn of events. True, Shinzon had withdrawn from all outside contact and barely allowed Picard to have interactions with him. If Allisa was able to break his dark demeanor in a small amount of time, maybe there was hope of reaching him before it was unfeasible.

Then he smirked at the empathic couple before him. He could faintly read remembrances from them of Shakespeare. He remembered when he was introducing Troi and Riker to each other for the first time on the Enterprise and then was told they had known each other already on her home world. He remembered the accounts Troi had told him where Riker had saved her life and that of her friend Chandra, Allisa's cousin, when the Sindareen had attacked her planet.

Allisa and Shinzon perceived his memories and Allisa continued the story to them in telepathic messages that lasted for the duration of a second and they understood. Deanna had then been kidnapped by the leader and dragged into the jungle. After a long search Riker found them and fought the Sindareen for Troi's freedom. With Riker victorious, the two of them started the journey of leaving the jungle together. Both of them had become each other's Imzadi (first, beloved) on a mental and physical level. That became Troi's first sexual experience and the first time she connected to a man on an emotional level called Imzadi. It was not the first time for Riker sexually but the first time he had made an emotional connection with a woman.

Picard, Shinzon and Allisa seated themselves at the conference table in the room and continued to formulate a plan. The plan included telling the other leading officers fully about Shinzon and his circumstances. They decided to leave out any mention of the medallions given to Picard that has caused Picard and Shinzon telepathic and self-healing/rejuvenating abilities at present.

Shinzon leaned forward, "Not just regenerative youth and telepathy. I just recently have found telekinesis." At this he raised his hand and a chair at the far wall started moving closer. Allisa and Picard gasped audibly.

After Picard regained his controlled demeanor, "Lets not overwhelm them all at once. Keep all of the information about the medallions unrevealed. My former Ship's Doctor Beverly Crusher who is Head of Starfleet Medical now, Captain Riker/Troi of the Titan, Admiral Janeway, and newly awarded Assistant Chief Engineer of the Titan Wesley Crusher (Beverly's son) already fully know our situation and information except for the information about the medallions. Let's bring everyone else up to speed on the save level on the situation."

Allisa smirked to herself as she remembered one of Geordi's memories of Data. Picard and Shinzon raised their eyebrows at her. She could not help laughing at the two men. Picard's response to this was amusement and he raised both eyebrows where as Shinson's response was skepticism and lowered both of his. "Ok, I was thinking what Data said once to Geordi, 'I have a magnetic personality." She continued to laugh and Picard could not suppress a grin. Shinzon read her mind to fully understand the humor and seen it was when Data waved his arm at a door in order to open it and also said, 'Open says me.' Shinzon sat back in his seat and folded his hands and flashed a small grin at the two who were trying their best to stop laughing.

Allisa finally regained her poise and regarded the two men in the room once again while trying to put Shinzon's kiss out of her mind. "Yes, Shinzon has similarities to Data. Data's positronic matrix allowed him to wave his arm to open the door and Shinzon now used his telekinesis to move that chair. What both of you have not noticed about each other is that you both quote from Ancient Earth Literature quite fluently."

Shinzon and Picard looked at her with surprise and feeling the thoughts in each other's mind. They said as one from King Henry IV: "Presume not that I am the thing I was; For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,"

Picard took his turn to discontinue speaking and Shinzon followed willingly with the last line, "That I have turned away my former self."

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