I stood in the middle of the funeral parlor. The white one. I would go with
the white one. It was so simple, so beautiful, so like Jamie. Jamie. She
was gone. Forever. Why did she have to go? What kind of messed up God, if
there was a God to begin with, would take such an angel from this world? I
tried to push those thoughts away. Jamie had always told me that faith was
all it took and that God did everything for a reason. But what reason could
He have for this? I browsed the rest of the caskets before finally coming
to rest on the white one. It was beautifully carved out of cedar painted
white. It was carved with roses, baby's breath, and daisies. Jamie's
favorite flowers. Inside it was covered in beautiful silk. It was so clean
and so pure. Jamie would look lovely in it. Hegbert and I had already
decided that we would bury her in her wedding dress. She had looked so
lovely that day, walking towards me. That day I had vowed that I would
always, always try my best to provide for Jamie, make her happy. I knew
that it would be hard, and that I wouldn't want to stick it out but I had
to do it for Jamie. I had to be strong, had to support her. I knew that
whatever I went through it would be worse for her. Aside from the vows that
day, I had made a promise to God and to myself that Jamie would come first.
She would be more important than my car, my friends, everything. After all,
Jamie was just that- my everything.
