****Note: Yes I know that all these characters and more belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. She is a god send to us all!!!

***A/N - As of for the basic sciences of the story, I just went along with the basic guidelines that some cases take. I think its more important to just get the picture in your head of whats going on, then to add a ton of addition al information that takes up too much time explaining. Though my bio major roomie thinks that it sounds okay, so I go by her view on it. Though thanks to all that give me suggestions on it. They help me to think in another way for the story. Thanks to all who have been waiting patiently for this next chapter. I kept rewriting it over and over so it would come out the way I wanted it to. So enjoy Chapters 4 and 5!!

^_^ (\/) cyancat

When I Thought I'd Lost You

Ch.4

Shampoo sighed as she sat in a booth in the Nekohanten while she languidly rapped her nails upon the table. The store was empty of customers and it was extremely boring. It was 5 days after Mousse's operation and tonight she had to stand watch over him.

After Mousse's operation everyone had arrived at the hospital as a whole group. After being told of Mousse's chances, they were all silent.

"Would it be alright if I stayed one night or two to help watch over Mousse?" Akane asked Cologne.

"You want to stay over here all night? Alone?"

"I won't be alone. Mousse is there and besides I don't think I've shown him how much of a friend he means to me or any of us." The rest of the group agreed.

"Well, then. If you want to stay a night, I can't stop you from doing so. But wait until the day after next. I, as his village elder, will stay with him for two nights. There are some herbs that I want to see if it helps him. Then you may stay the night Akane." Cologne paused before turning to the group, "Anyone else?"

"Yeah, I'll spend the night after Akane." Ranma said, stepping forward. "I still feel like it's part my fault that this happened to him, no matter how small a one it is."

"Very well, after your night I'll have Shampoo stay over and-"

"Great-grandmother! What are you saying? I not volunteer for this!"

"As a member of his village you are entitled to help in some way or have you forgotten the time when you were sick as a young girl and the whole village came over to help out?"

"No, grandmother.... I not forget.... I stay night with Mousse."

"Fine then."

Shampoo didn't know what to do, much less wait for a customer to come in. After she closed shop today, she would head off to the hospital and start her night watch over Mousse. After tonight, it was Ryoga's turn (with someone checking in occasionally on him to make sure he was still there), then Kasumi's, Nabiki's, Ukyo's, once more it was Shampoo's turn, then Akane's turn again. Cologne followed and after that, Shampoo, who had to stay two full nights. Then they would see if more people were needed to stay nights.

Shampoo kept replaying the image that she saw in Mousse's room the morning after Akane's first night there. When she arrived that morning, she noticed that Mousse's door wasn't open as it usually was every morning. Stepping inside, Shampoo stopped dead in her tracks and stared straight ahead. There sat Akane asleep on the sofa seat supplied for the room. It wasn't that Akane was sleeping. It was the person sleeping next to her. Ranma. He was fast asleep, Akane's head on his shoulder and his arms was around her. She stared for a moment, not believing her eyes. Then she turned around and quickly sped down the hall to the lounge area. Part of her was screaming at her to go back there and clonk them both on the head with her bonbori's, scream at them, even attack them, just to make Akane and Ranma stop doing that! The other half of her made her remember everything that she had been thinking about the past few days about her life and Mousse. Shampoo couldn't bring herself to act out against the two, so she waited until she made sure that they were awake before she entered again.

Shampoo wondered, "What kept me from attacking them that morning? I'm supposed to marry Ranma, right? Then what the heck is going on in my head! Everything that was normal to me has turned upside down and gone backwards. Is there actually some....thing inside of that doesn't want to be with Ranma?" Shampoo pondered for a moment on her own question and stared out into the street. "Maybe I really don't want to marry Ranma...maybe..."

Shampoo sat in the sofa seat inside Mousse's room, staring at the wall. She was trying very hard to not fall asleep in the dark room as only a table lamp by Mousse's bed was lit. Her eyelids drooped and then sprang back open instantly. Her head began to inch down until she snapped it back up, fighting back the power of sleep.

"Ayah, I just can't stay awake. I used to be able to stay awake for a week at the most and now, I can't even last one night!"

Shampoo leaned against an arm of the sofa seat, resting her head on a hand and turned to look at the slumbering form of Mousse.

"Why is it now that I start to think about Mousse? Just because he's sick and that he might...die, it has to bring out all these emotions about him that I never would have thought I had for him. I can't even figure out what's real or not, everything's so mixed up in my head. You do the strangest things to me Mousse..."

Shampoo sighed and looked down at her free hand.

"Why can't everything go back to being normal as it used to be? Everything was fine back then... Why'd it all have to change so suddenly?"

As Shampoo stared down at her self, her head slowly drooped down and her eyes started to close. This time, Shampoo couldn't stop the sleep from coming and she drifted off into a deep sleep.

***Start Dream Flash***

Shampoo sat at a table in what seemed to be a large house. Beside her on her right was Ranma, followed by Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, Mousse, Ukyo, Ryoga, Soun, Genma, and ending up on her left with Cologne. Everyone was heartily eating away at a huge meal laid out for them and happily chattering away. That was until Shampoo noticed that Mousse, who sat across from her at the table, was quiet and moved not a muscle. He just sat there looking down at the table. Shampoo paid no heed to him and glomped onto Ranma's left arm, smiling affectionately at him. Yet it seemed as if Ranma didn't notice her at all. He was turned towards Akane and they were talking away, paying no mind to her.

Shampoo scowled menacingly at the two and then reached out to pull Ranma's face towards her, for a full deep kiss on the lips. But when she reached out, her hands just passed through his head. Shampoo stared at her hands in shock. Had that really happened just now?

"What's going on?" Shampoo said frantically.

Ranma turned to her. "You don't know?"

"Know what? What am I supposed to do?"

"You can't do anything to stop it."

"But...I don't understand."

"Then you won't be able to stay here until you do."

"What?"

Then Ranma started to disappear slowly right before her very eyes. She turned to see that Cologne too was disappearing. Once Ranma was gone, Akane began to disappear too. After Cologne, Genma started to go.

"No, don't go!" Shampoo screamed at their fading figures. She tried frantically to stand up, but her legs were rooted to the floor.

"No, Ranma! Grandmother! I don't know what to do!"

Now Ukyo and Kasumi were fading away and then they were gone leaving Shampoo alone with Mousse across the table. His head slowly rose and she noticed that he didn't have his glasses on. She could clearly see his blue-grey eyes. Yet now even he was beginning to disappear.

"Mousse! Tell me, whats wrong?"

Mousse stared at her for a moment as he slowly faded. "Shampoo it will happen to you even if you don't know it. If you can't take a hold of what's real you will never see past here."

"What will happen?"

"Only you will know when it starts and then you can't stop it from ending. You have to understand what's going on inside yourself."

Shampoo tried to comprehend his words and then realized that he had nearly faded away. She struggled to get up, to grab a hold of him, so he wouldn't leave her too.

"Mousse, no! Don't go yet!"

Though now her pleas would go unanswered as she watched the last faint outline of Mousse vanish into thin air, leaving her alone, tears forming in her eyes.

"No! Please don't leave me!" Shampoo screamed as she tried to pry her legs off the floor. Finally, she couldn't try anymore and collapsed upon the table weeping. Her chest heaving with heavy racking sobs as she cried upon the table.

"I don't want to be without you...I don't want to be alone..."

***End Dream Flash***

Shampoo sat bolt upright as she awakened from her dream-filled sleep. She was breathing hard and, she realized as she touched a hand to her cheek, been crying in her sleep. It was still night she noticed as she straightened herself up. What the hell was going on in her head! How could she even think up a dream like that? More than that, what did it mean? Everyone vanishing before her very eyes, even Ranma and Mousse. Remembering faintly the conversation she had with them, she wondered what they had meant. What was going to happen to her? How could she figure out what they meant, when they didn't even refer to anything, just 'it'?

Shampoo sighed and looked over at Mousse. Standing up , she pulled a chair over by his bed and sat down, staring at his face. Picking up one of his hands, she held it between her own and rubbed the back of it with her thumbs.

"Mousse, you...you have to wake up. Nothing would be right again with out you here. I don't know what to think anymore, but when you do wake up I...I know I won't be the same person you saw last. I'll try to rethink my life and maybe change again, just for you. I just don't want to lose you, as a friend, as a fellow member of the village, or maybe even as someone that I...might love. But I can't figure any of this out without you. You hear me, Mousse! If you don't wake up, I could never forgive you for leaving everything behind you broken and torn!"

Shampoo studied his face for any change, but nothing did. Shampoo knew she shouldn't build false hopes like those, but what else was she to do now? It seemed as if everything around her was crashing and there was no way to stop it.

Morning found Shampoo still in the chair, still holding Mousse's hand, still staring at his solemn face. Cologne recognized this as an improvement of Shampoo's feelings as she stepped in that early morning to relieve Shampoo. She just hoped that her heart wouldn't be broken once it had been finally made. Though the biggest part was to get Shampoo to admit to her feelings. She could act them out, but admitting to something like this, it took more than just a tragedy.

As the days wore on, Shampoo was there every morning to relieve whomever had the nightly duty. When it was her turn to stay the night, she sat in the chair beside his bed, staring blankly as his face. When she knew no one would come by, she would again hold his hand in hers until the sun came up and someone arrived to relieve her.

It was the second night in the two night row duty of watching over Mousse that Shampoo began to actually worry more than anything. Today, it had been exactly two weeks since Mousse's surgery and he only had one week left. Shampoo's head had started to picture life without him and she was scared that it might come true. Mousse hadn't shown any signs of change since his surgery and his chances were dwindling. She stood up from her usual seat beside him and walked over to the window and stared out once more. Shampoo actually realized that she felt afraid that they'd loose Mousse. She was actually afraid that she could lose him before she could tell him anything.

She searched the stars, trying to find that one single star that she felt was her own. She needed more than answer tonight, she wanted a wish. To wish upon a star was childish in it's own way, all about fantasy and the desire to be a controller of your own world. She knew that, but tonight, thought Shampoo as she looked back over her shoulder at Mousse and then back to the night sky, she wanted to believe in something more than reality.

A hand slowly rose from the bed and flowed across his chest until it laid over his heart. Two blue-grey eyes squinted open and blinked to see their blurry surroundings.