Summary: L/J love/hate. James discovers some secrets in his seventh year that turn his life upside-down and haunt him years afterward. Will these secrets affect his friendship with his fellow Marauders or his never-thought-possible relationship with Lily Evans?
Author's notes: *hums a little and skips in* Hoi, all! ^.^ Yes, I am posting--finally! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! *dramatic pose* ((Javexalot: *eyes me and then pokes me*)) *falls over* Ouch! Meanie! *remembers the audience* Oh, hehe ^.^" Yes, well...look how LONG this part is! *falls over* Gah! And to think I got all of this by just writing the dialogue for the chapter and then putting in the details when I typed it up. Lordy, Lordy! Um...okay...um...Oh, yeah!
I dedicate this chapter--as lengthy as it is--to TEMPEST! Thank you for the promo deal you did in your last chapter, Girl! ^.^
I think that's all I have to say! ((Javexalot: *perks up* Thou hast--)) *shoves Javexalot out a window* ^.^" Anyways....Happy New Year's, all! ^.^
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic...except Drake Dawson, Clayton Wood, Jaclyne Hoover, and Leon Harnt. *sticks tongue out* You can't have the Quidditch team! And Dawson's MINE! ^.^" Just kidding...I want Siri, Remy, and Jimmy...you all know that! ((Javexalot: *climbs back into the window* Thou...is...--)) *camera man bumps into her as he tried to fit in the whole room and knocks her out the window* HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE! *tosses confetti* ^.^" (yes, I know...early :P mind yo biz :P ^.^)
Of Hidden Truths
(Midnight Mistake)
"Somebody sure is tired," said Remus the next morning when James arrived late to lunch with a grinning Sirius following him, as if he were making sure Jams didn't fall asleep on the way down to the Hall. James slid into a seat next to the his werewolf friend while Sirius took a seat next to Peter, who immediately turned to his taller friend for help with the Transfiguration he couldn't finish.
"Mm…" James replied, taking some eggs onto his plate and stabbing them with his fork over and over again, obviously distracted as he yawned.
"What's the matter, Prongs?" asked Sirius cheekily. "Your midnight rendezvous with your 'dear Lady' didn't allow you to sleep?"
"Mm…" was the barely heard reply. Remus looked at James in surprise as he, for once, did not deny Sirius' statement.
He then turned to Sirius with an eager look. "'Dear Lady'? Do tell, Padfoot!"
Sirius grabbed a roll and shrugged. "Can't. I swore," he replied and added as Remus' face fell, "But when you find out…"
The most mischievous boy gave a high cackle of laughter that made many heads turn and even got James to look up and stare at his long time friend in an odd way.
"You sound like Voldemort with that laugh…" he murmured before stabbing his eggs again. This turned all three boys' head to their friend.
"James…" said Remus, not sure of what to say.
Sirius, however, did not have that problem.
"Question," he said, watching his bespectacled friend intently. "How do you know what he sounds like?"
No reply. Sirius and Remus looked at one another, while Peter continued to watch James, who now started to swirl his eggs around the plate.
"Does this have to do with last year?" asked Remus quietly, turning to see that James' face was set in a mask of indifference, as if nothing had happened. The mask was dropped, however, to be replaced by a determined look. A look that plainly meant that he would withhold the information they were wanting.
"He went mute on us," said Sirius, trying to lighten the atmosphere. All he accomplished, however, was gaining more uncomfortable silence.
"We won't ask any questions," said Remus, turning back to his food, while James' swirling of his food cease. "Just talk, will you? I hate it when you shut yourself up like this, James."
The reaction, they decided, was not what they wanted. James dropped his fork to his plate and stood up, murmuring, "I'm going to the Greenhouses."
He stepped around the bench and walked off, just as Sirius confusedly asked Remus, "Aren't we having Charms today?"
***
The Greenhouses, James would decided later, did not offer the calming environment that James needed. His mind was muddled with thoughts about the year before, his secret, and, of course, Lily Evans. Usually being surrounded by plants and the sound of water helped calm his mind. This time, however, he must have had too much in his mind to calm. So, after deciding that the Greenhouses weren't working, he decided to go back inside and go to the library, one of the few places he could go to without needing to explain why he wasn't in class.
This idea would have served its purpose if a certain red-headed, green-eyed girl hadn't been in there when he arrived.
He had walked in and immediately saw her looking at a shelf of books dedicated to Charms and such. James, not knowing what else to do, walked over to the case that had the shelf and began to look around.
Apparently, he presence did not go unnoted.
"What are you doing in here?" Lily Evans asked in a whisper from his left.
He could feel her eyes on him, but he refused to look at her and, instead, continued to look for a book. Which one, he didn't know.
"Nothing," he answered simply and dully as he passed up a three book set called Charming Charms and How to Use Them, dismissing them as not interesting. He heard several footsteps come his way and yet, he never looked. Instead, his own feet decided it was time to leave.
"Oh, no," he heard Lily whisper quickly and forcefully. "Don't you walk away from me, James Potter. Something is going on with you--"
James spun around, obviously startling Lily with his angered look. He didn't care, however, he just wanted to get all of the confusing thoughts and the frustration that was building out.
"What about you?" he demanded with an angry hiss, almost forgetting to whisper. "Skiving off from class, are we, Evans?"
The use of her surname seemed to have some effect on the red-headed Head Girl. Her green eyes flashed for a moment with hurt before it was covered up with a harsh glare.
"Not like you wouldn't know about it, Potter," she spat back before locking eyes with him.
Whatever she was looking for in his grey eyes, she didn't find. Only anger and frustration shone at that moment.
"Damn straight I know about it," he replied icily, his voice getting louder with each syllable. He turned to walk off, but then seemed to change his mind and turned to her once again, saying, "And just so you know: 'When the winter comes, the air chills'."
"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Lily in confusion and frustration, her voice also getting louder.
James gave a slight smirk that made him look slightly like any Slytherin that used the expression. "You're smart. Figure it out."
With that he turned and began to leave.
"You know that won't throw me off," he heard Lily call, with a choking sound to her voice. "I'll find out just why you're acting so strange, James Potter. You can count on that. I always uncover my mysteries."
"This mystery," muttered James to himself as he exited the library. "is better left covered."
***
"Where were you?"
No, not 'Are you okay?' or 'Why did you just leave us like that?', not even a 'What'd you do all day?' No. Instead, the first thing to come out of Remus Lupin's mouth when he walked in and saw James sitting on the couch in the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room was 'Where were you?'
James' patience was worn thin already. He had tried almost everything besides bashing his head in to try and get his thoughts organized and focused, but it was all futile and now he was going to get chewed out by his friends.
Oh, the joy of being James Potter, he thought acidly.
"Does it matter?" he bit out with an indifferent sound to it.
It was only a second before he said it that Sirius walked in, looking just as mad and frustrated as James felt. The taller teenager walked up to his closest friend, studied him for a moment, before turning to Remus and managing to say, "Remus, you'd better hold me back because this indifferent-slash-depressed James is getting me mad."
"Sirius--" Remus objected, knowing that Sirius wouldn't lie about these things.
Apparently, Sirius' patience was about as worn as James'.
"Damn it, Remus! He's pushing us away even more every day!" he shouted, jabbing his index finger at the boy on the couch, who immediately jumped to the defense.
"I'm not--" James started to shout back.
"You denying proves it!" said Sirius angrily, glaring at him.
Remus immediately grabbed Sirius' arm and said, "You're getting hysterical, Sirius--"
"No, I'm getting pissed off is what Im getting," Sirius grounded out and looking very much as he would always look whenever he was faced with a pair of Slytherins--specifically Malfoy and Snape.
James crossed his arms and sunk lower in his seat, almost unnerved by his friend's behavior, but more annoyed and angered by it. "What's with the sudden mood swing?" he asked Remus, who has a hand on Sirius' shoulder.
Remus gave a strained laugh. "Sudden?" he asked as if it were a joke. "This has been building since Charms when Lily Evans walked in kind of upset."
James could tell that Remus was toning down what had happened.
That somehow made his temper flare.
"Damn that Evans," he said with a scowl.
This, however, wasn't what Sirius wanted to hear. "Last warning, Remus."
"Come on, James," said Remus in a near plea. "What happened?"
James didn't answer, but Sirius did.
"Oh, please, Remus!" shouted the taller dark-haired boy as he tossed his hands in the air in exasperation. "It's obvious! He took his frustration out on her--"
"I didn't," James lied defensively. "I just discouraged her from doing something foolish."
Sirius looked even more exasperated and seemed that if someone else exasperated him, he'd pull his hair out. "Since when were crushes foolish?" he demanded, making Remus turn to him with surprise as this was news to him.
"Since I got on Voldemort's 'More-Than-Happy-To-Kill' List," James spat back angrily, making both of his friends freeze.
"Okay…" said Sirius slowly. "now what are you on about?"
James rolled his eyes. "Oh, please! Don't tell me you haven't noticed that!" he shouted with annoyance.
This, though, only brought Sirius' temper back--full force.
"Well, maybe if you trusted us enough to tell us--" he began to rant, only to have James waved him off.
"Never mind. Better you not know," he said, bitterly, sinking into the seat more.
Sirius stared at his friend for a second, before walking up closer to him, jabbing his finger in James' face. "You know…" he said slowly, searching for something to say, waving his finger as he did. "I really hate it when you're being stubborn like this."
"And I hate it," retorted James with ease, his voice rising as he spoke. "that you yell at me when I'm trying to do what's best!"
"What?" asked Sirius in disbelief. "Pushing us away is best now?" Sadly, his disbelief turned into boiling anger, which was why he then shouted, "Why don't you run off and become a Muggle hobo then!"
James was a bit hurt by what his long-time friend had said, but covered it up with a biting, "I've been considering it!"
"Oh," replied Sirius scathingly. "that's very brave of you--"
James jumped to his feet, glaring at his friend. "I am brave," he spat out. "You'd be scared stiff if you were in my position!"
"No," said the other teen icily, jabbing his index finger into James' chest to accentuate his next statement. "What you are is a coward, pushing us away and planning to run from the Wizarding World--"
"The Wizarding World," snapped James, shoving Sirius' finger aside. "wouldn't even notice I was gone--"
"But your friends will!" argued Sirius.
"Don't be my friend then!" shouted James, surprising not only Sirius, but Remus and himself as well. Did he actually say that?
"Merlin, James!" exclaimed Sirius, breaking the silence that had settled on the trio. It was around then that people started to enter the what-had-been-empty Common Room. The three boys ignored the other people and two studied each other intently.
"Merlin, James," said Sirius again, this time with gritted teeth and a little softer. "What has happened to you?"
James didn't answer. He felt bad for saying that to Sirius, his childhood friend, the one who would always keep him sane whenever he felt like bashing his head against the wall until he knocked himself silly. What had possessed him to say that to him?
Sirius didn't seem to know what James was thinking about and kept going. Concern was evident when he then said, "You haven't been yourself since last year, James. I want to know--"
"You already know," interrupted James quietly with a glare, his anger returning at the mentioning of the events of last year.
"Wrong," replied Sirius firmly. "I only know that someone killed your mum right in front of you--" James bit his tongue as Sirius said this. He just didn't get it, did he? "--everything else you've left out on purpose for some reason--"
James turned away from Sirius, not wanting to talk about this. Not wanting to remember any of it. Sirius, however, grabbed his friend's arm and kept him still. James struggled to be released, shouting, " Let me alone, Sirius!"
"Damn it, James!" yelled Sirius, which caused several of the Gryffindors that had entered to jump. It wasn't everyday you saw Sirius Black and James Potter fight like this. "I'm trying to help--"
James spun to Sirius and glared at him. "I don't need or want your help!" he declared fiercely. "I want you to leave me alone!"
There was total silence in the Gryffindor Common Room. James was panting a little, as if that statement had taken a lot of his strength to say it. Sirius, however, looked as if he had been punched in the gut, while Remus hovered near the two, worry apparent. None of the other Gryffindors could find any words to say. What could you say when you saw something like the friendship of Sirius Black and James Potter break apart with mere words?
After a moment, Sirius stared at James and let his arm go with a slight shove. James nearly fell over in surprise.
"You keep telling yourself that, James," Sirius said hoarsely, only managing a half-hurt, half-angered glare. "Tell me when you actually start to believe it."
With those words, it was over. Their friendship, it seemed to all, was done for.
***
Days turned into weeks, and weeks to months, and even as December began, James Potter and Sirius Black had yet to utter a word to each other. It was a bad time for both parties, as Sirius would spend his time with Peter as company, sometimes talking to Remus, who would go to either one to try and mediate the situation.
James, however, was avoided by most everyone in the House and had no one to help him out when he was faced with a Slytherin like Malfoy. Everything seemed to go downhill…
"Isn't tonight the full moon?" Peter asked Sirius one day at breakfast. James, who was sitting a couple of people down from Peter, overheard this and couldn't help but to listen in.
"Yeah," replied Sirius as he poked at his breakfast. "but we're going without Prongs tonight."
James felt a stab of hurt and looked down at his plate. He knew he should be the one to apologize, really. It wasn't Sirius' fault that they had fought. But he couldn't do it, and that made the pain even worse when Sirius would always say things like what he had just said.
"Why?" asked Peter. "Are you two still fighting?"
James didn't look up and didn't see how Sirius glanced over to him for a moment before answering, "Something like that, Pete…"
***
"This is ridiculous, James," Remus sighed, later on in the day. Since it was a full moon that night, Remus looked pale and sickly, but he still wanted to help Sirius and James and so he counseled the bespectacled teen, who miserably lied on his bed.
"It's not," said James into his pillow, making his voice muffled.
Remus sighed, walked over, and pulled the pillow away from the depressed boy. "You and Sirius," he said, sitting on the bed. "have been friends for years and you want to have that thrown out just because of some secret?"
James mentally groaned. Remus would always use this approach and, frankly, James was getting a little tired of it.
"Sirius is the one--" he argued feebly.
"No, James," replied Remus, his tone firm and serious. "you are. You pushed away first and Sirius, doing what any friend would do, tried to prevent that. Instead of complying, however, you basically threw your friendship in his face and told him to leave you alone.
"Good," muttered James, grabbing another pillow and burying his face into it, his glasses pressing into his nose. "He'd do better in life if he's away from me."
Remus blew a sigh and took away the second pillow. "Stop being vague. You know he won't," he said while James stubbornly kept his face against the mattress. "I mean, you know Sirius…he's not mad at you…he's worried and he has no idea how to help--"
"He can't help," said James bitterly, lifting his head and staring at the sheets on his bed. "Not with this."
"Is that true?" questioned Remus, curiously. "Or do you want to avoid help, just so that whatever you're hiding won't be found out?"
There was a moment of silence as James stared at the bed. He felt Remus move some and then heard footsteps.
When he looked up, he discovered that Remus had already left.
***
Late that night, while Padfoot and Wormtail were out with Moony, James lied in his bed, in much of the same position he was in when he had been talking to Remus. He had been thinking about everything that had happened and decided that the dorm room was not a good place to think in.
So, he snuck down to the Common Room and jumped in surprise when he heard a page of a book turn. Lily Evans was sitting on the couch, reading the book she had had the last time they had met in the middle of the night. It seemed as if she didn't know that he was there, watching her.
"Evans?" he asked curiously.
A page turned.
"Well, hallo, Potter," Lily replied promptly with no real emotion in her voice. "Come to take all of your anger and frustration out on me again, have you?" She looked up from her book and watched him as he sighed and walked over.
"Do I look angry, Evans?" he asked, flopping down into the other couch.
A page turned.
"More like depressed," she answered, her nose back into her book.
James snorted a bit at that.
"Feels like someone wants to make my life hell," he said, bitterly as he stared at the ceiling.
A page turned.
"Well, He might have a good reason," she replied dryly.
"Well, I wish I'd not found out the reason," he said quietly.
A page began to turn--
--and stopped.
Silence filled the room for the moment, but James didn't mind. It wasn't uncomfortable, really…
"…so…why'd you come to me?" she asked, curiously with an uncomfortable sound to her voice.
"Hm?" asked James, distractedly. "Oh, well...you don't have to listen to me or acknowledge me. I'm just going to talk and pretend someone's listening."
The page finished turning.
"Still having problems with Black?" asked Lily, curiously, while James continued to stare at the ceiling, pursing his lips as he thought.
"Mm...you could say that," he answered, putting his hands behind his head. "I know we shouldn't be fighting. It's stupid, really. But...Sirius never liked it when I kept things from him...especially if those things make me 'act different'."
"Ah." A page turned. "And does it have anything to do with..."
James rose his eyebrows, sat up a bit, and looked over to the red-headed girl. "I thought you forgot about that."
A page turned. "I have a good memory," she said, nonchalant.
"Well, you're right. It does," he said and lied back on the couch again , staring at the ceiling.
"Care to share?"
A page turned.
"No," said James firmly. "I don't want anyone to know. If they do--" He sighed. "Well, my mum knew what it was before I knew and looked where it got her."
A page turned.
"Pathetic."
James sat up and looked to Lily again. "What?" he demanded.
"You," she said in way of explanation. "You sound like some tragic hero that wants to fight to the death alone."
A page turned.
"I prefer to be that 'tragic hero' than some selfish idiot that gets his friends killed," retorted James.
Lily let out a small laugh. "Not that that's stopping you know."
A page turned.
"Are you trying to be funny, Evans?" asked James, his anger flaring. She was laughing at him!
"Are you, Potter?" she asked in an innocent tone. "Because you're making me laugh."
James grunted. "What's so funny, then?" he asked, annoyed that she was laughing at him.
A sigh and the closing of a book.
"What," asked Lily as she leaned forward, watching James intently. "do you think makes a hero strong, Potter?"
James' brows furrowed. What makes a hero strong?
"What kind of question is that?" he asked in confusion, while Lily hide a laugh at his ignorance.
"An easy one," she replied simply after the urge to laugh passed. James still watched her confusedly.
"Then what's the answer?" he queried, truly curious to know the answer.
"Simple," said Lily with a bit of a smile as she sat up straight. "His friends, you idiot."
There was a pause...
James blinked. "I don't follow..."
Lily sighed and rolled her eyes before looking at him and answering, "All heroes get their strength from their friends' support. Look in history, there's tons of wizards that did great things and they all had support from somewhere. Shoving your friends aside only weakens you."
Silence.
"...I don't think that applies to this situation," murmured James sourly.
"What's the situation then?" asked Lily in exasperation.
James eyed the green-eyed girl suspiciously. "If I didn't tell my friends, what makes you think I'm going to tell you?" he asked.
The girl seemed to start at that, but easily answered the question. "It seems to me," she said breezily. "that you need to tell someone who you don't really know. They, unlike your friends, will judge you, which is what you want, right?"
James couldn't help but to blink in surprise. Was he that easy to read?
"...then...it wouldn't work with you, would it?" he said quickly, trying to find a way out of this. "You seem to know everything about me--"
"But how much do you know about me, Potter?" asked Lily, almost impatiently.
James paused.
"Well...you're Lily Evans..." He trailed off, not sure what else to say.
"And?" prompted Lily.
"Well," he started again, this time more sure of himself. "you're top of the class, you're Head Girl, and...er--" He floundered for something else to say. "--your best friend is Arabella Figg."
Lily watched him for a moment, before blinking. "Is that all?" she asked.
"Er..." was the only thing James could utter.
"Not very observant, are you?" asked Lily smugly.
James narrowed his eyes. "Not very subtle, are you?" he asked sarcastically.
Lily rolled her eyes to the ceiling, ignoring his mockery. "Let's see...you are James William Potter--" She ticked off a finger. "--your birthday is January twenty-seventh--" And then another. "--you were born in the year 1960--" A third. "--you're an only child--" A fourth. "--you're Quidditch Captain and you play Chaser--" This time it was two more. "--your best friends are Sirius Black and Remus Lupin--" She counted yet another. "--you let Peter Pettigrew hang around you because you care for the 'underdog'--" And another. "--you suck up to McGonagall and all other teachers--" Again. "--you somehow manage to make good grades even though you're almost always in detention--" She had already counted more than ten and had to start over. "--and--"
"What? Do you know my prescription, too?" demanded James, crossing his arms as he fumed.
Lily lowered her fingers and shrugged. "Well, I certainly know more about you than you know about me," she said stubbornly.
"Which makes me wonder if you stalk me," said James semi-seriously.
Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't. I just observe things around me," she replied with some annoyance, before her eyes glinted mischievously and she grinned. "You're an open book to me."
"Oh, really?" asked James, haughtily. "Well, what do you notice about me now?"
Lily paused and studied him for a moment before smiling triumphantly.
"You cross your right arm over your left arm," she said, making James stare at her confusedly.
"What does that--"
"Everyone crosses their arms one way or the other," answered Lily, quickly. "You do right over left. I, however, do it left over right."
James thought about it for a moment before running a hand through his hair. "...right," he said, hesitantly.
"Let's see," continued Lily. "You're right-handed, you try to smooth down your hair when you're thinking--"
James immediately dropped his hand from his head and glowered for a moment. "Oh, just drop it already."
Lily smiled a little, asking, "Don't like it when people can easily read you?"
"No, I don't," said James sharply.
The red-head ignored his tone. "And why is that?" she asked, curiously.
"Because," James grounded out.
"Because you like to hide?" Lily supplied. When she received no reply, she rolled her eyes and asked, "Not subtle, am I?"
"Look," James began firmly, locking eyes with Lily for a moment, feeling angered that she was mocking him now. "You know nothing about me--"
"I beg to differ--" Lily began to object.
"No," said James sharply. "You know nothing, all right? And it's going to stay that way."
There was yet another moment of silence, but this one was one of realization for Lily, who stared at James in slight disbelief.
"...you're afraid," she said in a whisper.
James looked away.
"If I am, I have my reasons, Evans," he said firmly before looking up at her pointedly. "Reasons I don't care to share."
Now it was Lily's turn to knit her brow together in confusion. "Why are you so defensive all of a sudden?" she asked in slight bewilderment.
"You're the one that said I was an open book," replied James bitterly.
"Is that why you're upset?" asked Lily as she continued to watch him. "You don't like it when people can tell how you are. It makes you...defenseless, doesn't it?"
James was silent as he looked away from her.
"Look, Potter--James," said Lily with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I'd never tell anyone how or why you get defensive. I won't even write about this in my diary."
James couldn't help but to smirk at that as he looked at her again. "You have a diary?" he asked, near laughing.
"Well," said Lily, haughtily. "I am a girl, you know."
James sobered quickly and studied the red-head for a moment, noticing for the first time how much of a girl she really was. She wasn't skinny, but she wasn't very big...just slim...and she did have a figure...
The raven-haired boy quickly looked at her face and cleared his throat, realizing what he had been thinking. "So you are," he said, his voice slightly strained.
Lily looked at him and James felt his face burn as she then looked down at herself and then back at him, a smirk barely there on her lips. "Well?" she said and James nearly thought she would say something else, but instead she asked, "Am I forgiven? Or must I get on bended knee and plea for it?"
James blinked. Well, she ignored whatever she had thought he had been doing and, instead, continued their previous conversation.
"You're forgiven," he said, his voice now normal. "Just...don't mention this to anyone."
Lily rose an eyebrow. curiously, a sly smile on her face. "Not even Black?" she questioned, probably knowing fully well why James did not want this conversation mentioned to anyone.
"Especially Blac--" James hit himself in the head mentally. "--I mean Pete...er...I mean...erm...yeah, him"
Lily picked up her book, stood, and smiled at him, her green eyes locking with his grey for a moment. "My lips are sealed, Sir Knight," she assured him before breaking eye contact and going up to the girl's dormitory.
James sat there for a little while, thinking about what Lily had told him and what he had told her. She was right about one thing...he couldn't push his friends away anymore.
He'd apologize to Sirius, he resolved, the next morning.
With that determined, James stood and started toward the boy's dormitory only to turn when he heard the Portrait open quickly, the Fat Lady's voice shouting angrily at the small person that was scrambling to get inside.
It was Peter.
"James! James!" the short, blonde boy shouted as he ran over to his taller friend, who looked at him in concern.
"What is it, Peter?" he asked, confused. "Why aren't you with Padfoot and Moony?"
"...Sirius...chasing...Remus...loose..." the poor boy panted out, while James stared at him.
"Remus got loose?" he nearly shouted, fear creeping into him.
Peter leaned forward and had his hands on his knees as he tried to steady his heavy breathing. "Too...strong...Sirius..." he tried to say, but James had heard enough and had started out of the Common Room, forgetting about the Cloak and Map, which were in his room.
"Bloody hell," he swore as he ran out of the tower, ignoring the Fat Lady who was telling him off for not closing the Portrait. "I *knew* something like this would happen!"
emeraldlily22: More here! ^.^ Thanks for the review!
Acidity: Oh, I am a glasses-wearer myself. I've had glasses since I was in the third grade and I'm telling you that you CAN forget about glasses. It depends on where you are, who you are with, and what is on your mind. James was distracted by his thoughts for a time, then he was around his friends and arrived at Hogwarts, a place he's very familiar with. It's quite easy to forget about glasses, actually. I've done it just recently, actually. I was going to push up what would have been my glasses after I got out of the shower the other day but then I remembered that I didn't put them on that morning. *shrugs* Don't ask me. It could just be me, but I think people could forget about their glasses. Thanks for the review, though. ^.^ I love answering questions ^.^"
HPdreamer15: Hey, Gwen! ^.^ Wow. Fave. Author AND Fic? *whistles* It is not that good, is it? I mean, really...is it? O.o? *sighs* Oh, dear...old English...((Javexalot: *pokes me* Methinks thou must learn thy manners)) *mutters under breath to Javexalot* Methinks thou got hit in thy head once too many. ((Javexalot: *gapes in disbelief*)) Thanks for the review, Gwen! ^.^"*runs from Javexalot*
tempest: You call me a genius! Well you should know the number one rule then! Never rush a genius, Temp! ^.^ Beisdes I wasn't behind the comp or the review box. I was in the anime section...reading :P ^.^" Sorry for the long wait, but it was worth it, wasn't it? *smiles and nods* Yes, it was. ^.^ Lookie! It's even DEDICATED to you! ^.^" Feel special! Thanks for the promo and I LOVED that last chapter of yours! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! ^.^
Midnite Jewel: ^.^ Thank you for the review! I know, I loved that part with Lily and James too...*pouts* I want a guy that can woo me like that...*dreamy sigh* Well, I hope you enjoyed this part! ^.^
Eternity: ...hm...rhymes with my real name Trinity...Eternity :P ^.^ Sorry, couldn't help it. Thanks for the review!
animegirl: Hehe ^.^ Yes, he did get picked on a bit, didn't he? ^.^ Gee, I would never have known that people actually liked this fic if there hadn't been so many reviews! *sweatdrops* Jeez...well, of course I COULD leave you hanging(which I just did ^.^), but I'm not always going to if I do. ^.^ I'm not that cruel. Thank you for the review! ^.^
beth: Curious? About James' secret? ^.^" Well, I bet as soon as some people hear the secret, they'll be like "Oi....that's been SO overdone!" but I'm promising you that there is more secrets. ^.^ Let's just say after this one is solved, there'll still be another one hiding 'round the corner. ^.^" I love being the author ^.^ All powerful. ^.^ Just kidding. Hope you enjoyed! ^.^"
Them Girl: No problem with the email change. I don't really mind, actually. At least I know you're a faithful reader ^.~ Ah, another lover of that poetry part. Well, I have to say I had fun writing it, though when my lil sis read it she called it 'cheesy' -_- oi...remind me to never let my lil sis read the romance parts, eh? Hope you enjoyed this chapter! SUPER LONG!, ne? ^.^"
Quack Quack 88: *blushes* Talented? *goes redder* Rare gem? *goes purple* Diamond in the rough? ((Javexalot: *looks to QQ88* She looks as though she may explode, no?)) No, I don't! *hides face* Sorry, sorry. I'm just very...well...easily embarrassed when it comes to my writing. I CAN'T believe you think its a rare gem! ((Javexalot: *clears throat and points me to the rest of the review*)) Oh, yeah. Why does James carry it around? You'll find out...hm...*looks* OH! Next chapter! Exciting, ne? Everyone gets know the secret. And you're right, it is easier to keep the pendant on his person rather than in his trunk. The pendant is plenty important, I'll tell you that. Thanks for the wonderful review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! ^.^
mooncancer: More here! ^.^ Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed! ^.^
Emily Woodmark: *blushes* So many compliments! ^.^" Thanks for the review!
Ariana: Wait...which one is this? *is confused* Erm...*looks* Oh! Yes! How could I forget *hits forehead* Sorry, but there's TWO of you now! Creepy! >_>; erm..yeah...creepy. ^.^" everyone seems to think that the last part of that chapter was a hit. ^.^ I can't believe how well it went. I thought I'd get reviews like "Wow...this is cheesy...want some whine to go with it?" ^.^" Yes, yes...school bites...I have finals as soon as the Hols are over, so I SHOULD be studying, and I SHOULD be doing my Free Enterprise class's assignment, but I'm too lazy. Hope you do well at school and thank for the review! Hope you enjoyed this chapter(yes, repetative, aren't I? ^.^")
Darcel Lucia: Well, I'd be touchy if someone said that about my mom. ^.^" Thanks for the review! ^.^"
Ariana: Hoo-boy, this'll get confuzzling. ^.^" Glad you liked that part and that you enjoyed that chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well ^.^"
J. Kay: Oh, dear...I hope I didn't make Lily seem that way. I just want to make her sort of...well...independent may be the word I'm looking for...maybe not *shrugs* She's not meant to look annoying. Oh, well. Hope you enjoyed the rest of the fic! ^.^"
Author's notes: *hums a little and skips in* Hoi, all! ^.^ Yes, I am posting--finally! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! *dramatic pose* ((Javexalot: *eyes me and then pokes me*)) *falls over* Ouch! Meanie! *remembers the audience* Oh, hehe ^.^" Yes, well...look how LONG this part is! *falls over* Gah! And to think I got all of this by just writing the dialogue for the chapter and then putting in the details when I typed it up. Lordy, Lordy! Um...okay...um...Oh, yeah!
I dedicate this chapter--as lengthy as it is--to TEMPEST! Thank you for the promo deal you did in your last chapter, Girl! ^.^
I think that's all I have to say! ((Javexalot: *perks up* Thou hast--)) *shoves Javexalot out a window* ^.^" Anyways....Happy New Year's, all! ^.^
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic...except Drake Dawson, Clayton Wood, Jaclyne Hoover, and Leon Harnt. *sticks tongue out* You can't have the Quidditch team! And Dawson's MINE! ^.^" Just kidding...I want Siri, Remy, and Jimmy...you all know that! ((Javexalot: *climbs back into the window* Thou...is...--)) *camera man bumps into her as he tried to fit in the whole room and knocks her out the window* HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE! *tosses confetti* ^.^" (yes, I know...early :P mind yo biz :P ^.^)
(Midnight Mistake)
"Somebody sure is tired," said Remus the next morning when James arrived late to lunch with a grinning Sirius following him, as if he were making sure Jams didn't fall asleep on the way down to the Hall. James slid into a seat next to the his werewolf friend while Sirius took a seat next to Peter, who immediately turned to his taller friend for help with the Transfiguration he couldn't finish.
"Mm…" James replied, taking some eggs onto his plate and stabbing them with his fork over and over again, obviously distracted as he yawned.
"What's the matter, Prongs?" asked Sirius cheekily. "Your midnight rendezvous with your 'dear Lady' didn't allow you to sleep?"
"Mm…" was the barely heard reply. Remus looked at James in surprise as he, for once, did not deny Sirius' statement.
He then turned to Sirius with an eager look. "'Dear Lady'? Do tell, Padfoot!"
Sirius grabbed a roll and shrugged. "Can't. I swore," he replied and added as Remus' face fell, "But when you find out…"
The most mischievous boy gave a high cackle of laughter that made many heads turn and even got James to look up and stare at his long time friend in an odd way.
"You sound like Voldemort with that laugh…" he murmured before stabbing his eggs again. This turned all three boys' head to their friend.
"James…" said Remus, not sure of what to say.
Sirius, however, did not have that problem.
"Question," he said, watching his bespectacled friend intently. "How do you know what he sounds like?"
No reply. Sirius and Remus looked at one another, while Peter continued to watch James, who now started to swirl his eggs around the plate.
"Does this have to do with last year?" asked Remus quietly, turning to see that James' face was set in a mask of indifference, as if nothing had happened. The mask was dropped, however, to be replaced by a determined look. A look that plainly meant that he would withhold the information they were wanting.
"He went mute on us," said Sirius, trying to lighten the atmosphere. All he accomplished, however, was gaining more uncomfortable silence.
"We won't ask any questions," said Remus, turning back to his food, while James' swirling of his food cease. "Just talk, will you? I hate it when you shut yourself up like this, James."
The reaction, they decided, was not what they wanted. James dropped his fork to his plate and stood up, murmuring, "I'm going to the Greenhouses."
He stepped around the bench and walked off, just as Sirius confusedly asked Remus, "Aren't we having Charms today?"
The Greenhouses, James would decided later, did not offer the calming environment that James needed. His mind was muddled with thoughts about the year before, his secret, and, of course, Lily Evans. Usually being surrounded by plants and the sound of water helped calm his mind. This time, however, he must have had too much in his mind to calm. So, after deciding that the Greenhouses weren't working, he decided to go back inside and go to the library, one of the few places he could go to without needing to explain why he wasn't in class.
This idea would have served its purpose if a certain red-headed, green-eyed girl hadn't been in there when he arrived.
He had walked in and immediately saw her looking at a shelf of books dedicated to Charms and such. James, not knowing what else to do, walked over to the case that had the shelf and began to look around.
Apparently, he presence did not go unnoted.
"What are you doing in here?" Lily Evans asked in a whisper from his left.
He could feel her eyes on him, but he refused to look at her and, instead, continued to look for a book. Which one, he didn't know.
"Nothing," he answered simply and dully as he passed up a three book set called Charming Charms and How to Use Them, dismissing them as not interesting. He heard several footsteps come his way and yet, he never looked. Instead, his own feet decided it was time to leave.
"Oh, no," he heard Lily whisper quickly and forcefully. "Don't you walk away from me, James Potter. Something is going on with you--"
James spun around, obviously startling Lily with his angered look. He didn't care, however, he just wanted to get all of the confusing thoughts and the frustration that was building out.
"What about you?" he demanded with an angry hiss, almost forgetting to whisper. "Skiving off from class, are we, Evans?"
The use of her surname seemed to have some effect on the red-headed Head Girl. Her green eyes flashed for a moment with hurt before it was covered up with a harsh glare.
"Not like you wouldn't know about it, Potter," she spat back before locking eyes with him.
Whatever she was looking for in his grey eyes, she didn't find. Only anger and frustration shone at that moment.
"Damn straight I know about it," he replied icily, his voice getting louder with each syllable. He turned to walk off, but then seemed to change his mind and turned to her once again, saying, "And just so you know: 'When the winter comes, the air chills'."
"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Lily in confusion and frustration, her voice also getting louder.
James gave a slight smirk that made him look slightly like any Slytherin that used the expression. "You're smart. Figure it out."
With that he turned and began to leave.
"You know that won't throw me off," he heard Lily call, with a choking sound to her voice. "I'll find out just why you're acting so strange, James Potter. You can count on that. I always uncover my mysteries."
"This mystery," muttered James to himself as he exited the library. "is better left covered."
"Where were you?"
No, not 'Are you okay?' or 'Why did you just leave us like that?', not even a 'What'd you do all day?' No. Instead, the first thing to come out of Remus Lupin's mouth when he walked in and saw James sitting on the couch in the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room was 'Where were you?'
James' patience was worn thin already. He had tried almost everything besides bashing his head in to try and get his thoughts organized and focused, but it was all futile and now he was going to get chewed out by his friends.
Oh, the joy of being James Potter, he thought acidly.
"Does it matter?" he bit out with an indifferent sound to it.
It was only a second before he said it that Sirius walked in, looking just as mad and frustrated as James felt. The taller teenager walked up to his closest friend, studied him for a moment, before turning to Remus and managing to say, "Remus, you'd better hold me back because this indifferent-slash-depressed James is getting me mad."
"Sirius--" Remus objected, knowing that Sirius wouldn't lie about these things.
Apparently, Sirius' patience was about as worn as James'.
"Damn it, Remus! He's pushing us away even more every day!" he shouted, jabbing his index finger at the boy on the couch, who immediately jumped to the defense.
"I'm not--" James started to shout back.
"You denying proves it!" said Sirius angrily, glaring at him.
Remus immediately grabbed Sirius' arm and said, "You're getting hysterical, Sirius--"
"No, I'm getting pissed off is what Im getting," Sirius grounded out and looking very much as he would always look whenever he was faced with a pair of Slytherins--specifically Malfoy and Snape.
James crossed his arms and sunk lower in his seat, almost unnerved by his friend's behavior, but more annoyed and angered by it. "What's with the sudden mood swing?" he asked Remus, who has a hand on Sirius' shoulder.
Remus gave a strained laugh. "Sudden?" he asked as if it were a joke. "This has been building since Charms when Lily Evans walked in kind of upset."
James could tell that Remus was toning down what had happened.
That somehow made his temper flare.
"Damn that Evans," he said with a scowl.
This, however, wasn't what Sirius wanted to hear. "Last warning, Remus."
"Come on, James," said Remus in a near plea. "What happened?"
James didn't answer, but Sirius did.
"Oh, please, Remus!" shouted the taller dark-haired boy as he tossed his hands in the air in exasperation. "It's obvious! He took his frustration out on her--"
"I didn't," James lied defensively. "I just discouraged her from doing something foolish."
Sirius looked even more exasperated and seemed that if someone else exasperated him, he'd pull his hair out. "Since when were crushes foolish?" he demanded, making Remus turn to him with surprise as this was news to him.
"Since I got on Voldemort's 'More-Than-Happy-To-Kill' List," James spat back angrily, making both of his friends freeze.
"Okay…" said Sirius slowly. "now what are you on about?"
James rolled his eyes. "Oh, please! Don't tell me you haven't noticed that!" he shouted with annoyance.
This, though, only brought Sirius' temper back--full force.
"Well, maybe if you trusted us enough to tell us--" he began to rant, only to have James waved him off.
"Never mind. Better you not know," he said, bitterly, sinking into the seat more.
Sirius stared at his friend for a second, before walking up closer to him, jabbing his finger in James' face. "You know…" he said slowly, searching for something to say, waving his finger as he did. "I really hate it when you're being stubborn like this."
"And I hate it," retorted James with ease, his voice rising as he spoke. "that you yell at me when I'm trying to do what's best!"
"What?" asked Sirius in disbelief. "Pushing us away is best now?" Sadly, his disbelief turned into boiling anger, which was why he then shouted, "Why don't you run off and become a Muggle hobo then!"
James was a bit hurt by what his long-time friend had said, but covered it up with a biting, "I've been considering it!"
"Oh," replied Sirius scathingly. "that's very brave of you--"
James jumped to his feet, glaring at his friend. "I am brave," he spat out. "You'd be scared stiff if you were in my position!"
"No," said the other teen icily, jabbing his index finger into James' chest to accentuate his next statement. "What you are is a coward, pushing us away and planning to run from the Wizarding World--"
"The Wizarding World," snapped James, shoving Sirius' finger aside. "wouldn't even notice I was gone--"
"But your friends will!" argued Sirius.
"Don't be my friend then!" shouted James, surprising not only Sirius, but Remus and himself as well. Did he actually say that?
"Merlin, James!" exclaimed Sirius, breaking the silence that had settled on the trio. It was around then that people started to enter the what-had-been-empty Common Room. The three boys ignored the other people and two studied each other intently.
"Merlin, James," said Sirius again, this time with gritted teeth and a little softer. "What has happened to you?"
James didn't answer. He felt bad for saying that to Sirius, his childhood friend, the one who would always keep him sane whenever he felt like bashing his head against the wall until he knocked himself silly. What had possessed him to say that to him?
Sirius didn't seem to know what James was thinking about and kept going. Concern was evident when he then said, "You haven't been yourself since last year, James. I want to know--"
"You already know," interrupted James quietly with a glare, his anger returning at the mentioning of the events of last year.
"Wrong," replied Sirius firmly. "I only know that someone killed your mum right in front of you--" James bit his tongue as Sirius said this. He just didn't get it, did he? "--everything else you've left out on purpose for some reason--"
James turned away from Sirius, not wanting to talk about this. Not wanting to remember any of it. Sirius, however, grabbed his friend's arm and kept him still. James struggled to be released, shouting, " Let me alone, Sirius!"
"Damn it, James!" yelled Sirius, which caused several of the Gryffindors that had entered to jump. It wasn't everyday you saw Sirius Black and James Potter fight like this. "I'm trying to help--"
James spun to Sirius and glared at him. "I don't need or want your help!" he declared fiercely. "I want you to leave me alone!"
There was total silence in the Gryffindor Common Room. James was panting a little, as if that statement had taken a lot of his strength to say it. Sirius, however, looked as if he had been punched in the gut, while Remus hovered near the two, worry apparent. None of the other Gryffindors could find any words to say. What could you say when you saw something like the friendship of Sirius Black and James Potter break apart with mere words?
After a moment, Sirius stared at James and let his arm go with a slight shove. James nearly fell over in surprise.
"You keep telling yourself that, James," Sirius said hoarsely, only managing a half-hurt, half-angered glare. "Tell me when you actually start to believe it."
With those words, it was over. Their friendship, it seemed to all, was done for.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks to months, and even as December began, James Potter and Sirius Black had yet to utter a word to each other. It was a bad time for both parties, as Sirius would spend his time with Peter as company, sometimes talking to Remus, who would go to either one to try and mediate the situation.
James, however, was avoided by most everyone in the House and had no one to help him out when he was faced with a Slytherin like Malfoy. Everything seemed to go downhill…
"Isn't tonight the full moon?" Peter asked Sirius one day at breakfast. James, who was sitting a couple of people down from Peter, overheard this and couldn't help but to listen in.
"Yeah," replied Sirius as he poked at his breakfast. "but we're going without Prongs tonight."
James felt a stab of hurt and looked down at his plate. He knew he should be the one to apologize, really. It wasn't Sirius' fault that they had fought. But he couldn't do it, and that made the pain even worse when Sirius would always say things like what he had just said.
"Why?" asked Peter. "Are you two still fighting?"
James didn't look up and didn't see how Sirius glanced over to him for a moment before answering, "Something like that, Pete…"
"This is ridiculous, James," Remus sighed, later on in the day. Since it was a full moon that night, Remus looked pale and sickly, but he still wanted to help Sirius and James and so he counseled the bespectacled teen, who miserably lied on his bed.
"It's not," said James into his pillow, making his voice muffled.
Remus sighed, walked over, and pulled the pillow away from the depressed boy. "You and Sirius," he said, sitting on the bed. "have been friends for years and you want to have that thrown out just because of some secret?"
James mentally groaned. Remus would always use this approach and, frankly, James was getting a little tired of it.
"Sirius is the one--" he argued feebly.
"No, James," replied Remus, his tone firm and serious. "you are. You pushed away first and Sirius, doing what any friend would do, tried to prevent that. Instead of complying, however, you basically threw your friendship in his face and told him to leave you alone.
"Good," muttered James, grabbing another pillow and burying his face into it, his glasses pressing into his nose. "He'd do better in life if he's away from me."
Remus blew a sigh and took away the second pillow. "Stop being vague. You know he won't," he said while James stubbornly kept his face against the mattress. "I mean, you know Sirius…he's not mad at you…he's worried and he has no idea how to help--"
"He can't help," said James bitterly, lifting his head and staring at the sheets on his bed. "Not with this."
"Is that true?" questioned Remus, curiously. "Or do you want to avoid help, just so that whatever you're hiding won't be found out?"
There was a moment of silence as James stared at the bed. He felt Remus move some and then heard footsteps.
When he looked up, he discovered that Remus had already left.
Late that night, while Padfoot and Wormtail were out with Moony, James lied in his bed, in much of the same position he was in when he had been talking to Remus. He had been thinking about everything that had happened and decided that the dorm room was not a good place to think in.
So, he snuck down to the Common Room and jumped in surprise when he heard a page of a book turn. Lily Evans was sitting on the couch, reading the book she had had the last time they had met in the middle of the night. It seemed as if she didn't know that he was there, watching her.
"Evans?" he asked curiously.
A page turned.
"Well, hallo, Potter," Lily replied promptly with no real emotion in her voice. "Come to take all of your anger and frustration out on me again, have you?" She looked up from her book and watched him as he sighed and walked over.
"Do I look angry, Evans?" he asked, flopping down into the other couch.
A page turned.
"More like depressed," she answered, her nose back into her book.
James snorted a bit at that.
"Feels like someone wants to make my life hell," he said, bitterly as he stared at the ceiling.
A page turned.
"Well, He might have a good reason," she replied dryly.
"Well, I wish I'd not found out the reason," he said quietly.
A page began to turn--
--and stopped.
Silence filled the room for the moment, but James didn't mind. It wasn't uncomfortable, really…
"…so…why'd you come to me?" she asked, curiously with an uncomfortable sound to her voice.
"Hm?" asked James, distractedly. "Oh, well...you don't have to listen to me or acknowledge me. I'm just going to talk and pretend someone's listening."
The page finished turning.
"Still having problems with Black?" asked Lily, curiously, while James continued to stare at the ceiling, pursing his lips as he thought.
"Mm...you could say that," he answered, putting his hands behind his head. "I know we shouldn't be fighting. It's stupid, really. But...Sirius never liked it when I kept things from him...especially if those things make me 'act different'."
"Ah." A page turned. "And does it have anything to do with..."
James rose his eyebrows, sat up a bit, and looked over to the red-headed girl. "I thought you forgot about that."
A page turned. "I have a good memory," she said, nonchalant.
"Well, you're right. It does," he said and lied back on the couch again , staring at the ceiling.
"Care to share?"
A page turned.
"No," said James firmly. "I don't want anyone to know. If they do--" He sighed. "Well, my mum knew what it was before I knew and looked where it got her."
A page turned.
"Pathetic."
James sat up and looked to Lily again. "What?" he demanded.
"You," she said in way of explanation. "You sound like some tragic hero that wants to fight to the death alone."
A page turned.
"I prefer to be that 'tragic hero' than some selfish idiot that gets his friends killed," retorted James.
Lily let out a small laugh. "Not that that's stopping you know."
A page turned.
"Are you trying to be funny, Evans?" asked James, his anger flaring. She was laughing at him!
"Are you, Potter?" she asked in an innocent tone. "Because you're making me laugh."
James grunted. "What's so funny, then?" he asked, annoyed that she was laughing at him.
A sigh and the closing of a book.
"What," asked Lily as she leaned forward, watching James intently. "do you think makes a hero strong, Potter?"
James' brows furrowed. What makes a hero strong?
"What kind of question is that?" he asked in confusion, while Lily hide a laugh at his ignorance.
"An easy one," she replied simply after the urge to laugh passed. James still watched her confusedly.
"Then what's the answer?" he queried, truly curious to know the answer.
"Simple," said Lily with a bit of a smile as she sat up straight. "His friends, you idiot."
There was a pause...
James blinked. "I don't follow..."
Lily sighed and rolled her eyes before looking at him and answering, "All heroes get their strength from their friends' support. Look in history, there's tons of wizards that did great things and they all had support from somewhere. Shoving your friends aside only weakens you."
Silence.
"...I don't think that applies to this situation," murmured James sourly.
"What's the situation then?" asked Lily in exasperation.
James eyed the green-eyed girl suspiciously. "If I didn't tell my friends, what makes you think I'm going to tell you?" he asked.
The girl seemed to start at that, but easily answered the question. "It seems to me," she said breezily. "that you need to tell someone who you don't really know. They, unlike your friends, will judge you, which is what you want, right?"
James couldn't help but to blink in surprise. Was he that easy to read?
"...then...it wouldn't work with you, would it?" he said quickly, trying to find a way out of this. "You seem to know everything about me--"
"But how much do you know about me, Potter?" asked Lily, almost impatiently.
James paused.
"Well...you're Lily Evans..." He trailed off, not sure what else to say.
"And?" prompted Lily.
"Well," he started again, this time more sure of himself. "you're top of the class, you're Head Girl, and...er--" He floundered for something else to say. "--your best friend is Arabella Figg."
Lily watched him for a moment, before blinking. "Is that all?" she asked.
"Er..." was the only thing James could utter.
"Not very observant, are you?" asked Lily smugly.
James narrowed his eyes. "Not very subtle, are you?" he asked sarcastically.
Lily rolled her eyes to the ceiling, ignoring his mockery. "Let's see...you are James William Potter--" She ticked off a finger. "--your birthday is January twenty-seventh--" And then another. "--you were born in the year 1960--" A third. "--you're an only child--" A fourth. "--you're Quidditch Captain and you play Chaser--" This time it was two more. "--your best friends are Sirius Black and Remus Lupin--" She counted yet another. "--you let Peter Pettigrew hang around you because you care for the 'underdog'--" And another. "--you suck up to McGonagall and all other teachers--" Again. "--you somehow manage to make good grades even though you're almost always in detention--" She had already counted more than ten and had to start over. "--and--"
"What? Do you know my prescription, too?" demanded James, crossing his arms as he fumed.
Lily lowered her fingers and shrugged. "Well, I certainly know more about you than you know about me," she said stubbornly.
"Which makes me wonder if you stalk me," said James semi-seriously.
Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't. I just observe things around me," she replied with some annoyance, before her eyes glinted mischievously and she grinned. "You're an open book to me."
"Oh, really?" asked James, haughtily. "Well, what do you notice about me now?"
Lily paused and studied him for a moment before smiling triumphantly.
"You cross your right arm over your left arm," she said, making James stare at her confusedly.
"What does that--"
"Everyone crosses their arms one way or the other," answered Lily, quickly. "You do right over left. I, however, do it left over right."
James thought about it for a moment before running a hand through his hair. "...right," he said, hesitantly.
"Let's see," continued Lily. "You're right-handed, you try to smooth down your hair when you're thinking--"
James immediately dropped his hand from his head and glowered for a moment. "Oh, just drop it already."
Lily smiled a little, asking, "Don't like it when people can easily read you?"
"No, I don't," said James sharply.
The red-head ignored his tone. "And why is that?" she asked, curiously.
"Because," James grounded out.
"Because you like to hide?" Lily supplied. When she received no reply, she rolled her eyes and asked, "Not subtle, am I?"
"Look," James began firmly, locking eyes with Lily for a moment, feeling angered that she was mocking him now. "You know nothing about me--"
"I beg to differ--" Lily began to object.
"No," said James sharply. "You know nothing, all right? And it's going to stay that way."
There was yet another moment of silence, but this one was one of realization for Lily, who stared at James in slight disbelief.
"...you're afraid," she said in a whisper.
James looked away.
"If I am, I have my reasons, Evans," he said firmly before looking up at her pointedly. "Reasons I don't care to share."
Now it was Lily's turn to knit her brow together in confusion. "Why are you so defensive all of a sudden?" she asked in slight bewilderment.
"You're the one that said I was an open book," replied James bitterly.
"Is that why you're upset?" asked Lily as she continued to watch him. "You don't like it when people can tell how you are. It makes you...defenseless, doesn't it?"
James was silent as he looked away from her.
"Look, Potter--James," said Lily with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I'd never tell anyone how or why you get defensive. I won't even write about this in my diary."
James couldn't help but to smirk at that as he looked at her again. "You have a diary?" he asked, near laughing.
"Well," said Lily, haughtily. "I am a girl, you know."
James sobered quickly and studied the red-head for a moment, noticing for the first time how much of a girl she really was. She wasn't skinny, but she wasn't very big...just slim...and she did have a figure...
The raven-haired boy quickly looked at her face and cleared his throat, realizing what he had been thinking. "So you are," he said, his voice slightly strained.
Lily looked at him and James felt his face burn as she then looked down at herself and then back at him, a smirk barely there on her lips. "Well?" she said and James nearly thought she would say something else, but instead she asked, "Am I forgiven? Or must I get on bended knee and plea for it?"
James blinked. Well, she ignored whatever she had thought he had been doing and, instead, continued their previous conversation.
"You're forgiven," he said, his voice now normal. "Just...don't mention this to anyone."
Lily rose an eyebrow. curiously, a sly smile on her face. "Not even Black?" she questioned, probably knowing fully well why James did not want this conversation mentioned to anyone.
"Especially Blac--" James hit himself in the head mentally. "--I mean Pete...er...I mean...erm...yeah, him"
Lily picked up her book, stood, and smiled at him, her green eyes locking with his grey for a moment. "My lips are sealed, Sir Knight," she assured him before breaking eye contact and going up to the girl's dormitory.
James sat there for a little while, thinking about what Lily had told him and what he had told her. She was right about one thing...he couldn't push his friends away anymore.
He'd apologize to Sirius, he resolved, the next morning.
With that determined, James stood and started toward the boy's dormitory only to turn when he heard the Portrait open quickly, the Fat Lady's voice shouting angrily at the small person that was scrambling to get inside.
It was Peter.
"James! James!" the short, blonde boy shouted as he ran over to his taller friend, who looked at him in concern.
"What is it, Peter?" he asked, confused. "Why aren't you with Padfoot and Moony?"
"...Sirius...chasing...Remus...loose..." the poor boy panted out, while James stared at him.
"Remus got loose?" he nearly shouted, fear creeping into him.
Peter leaned forward and had his hands on his knees as he tried to steady his heavy breathing. "Too...strong...Sirius..." he tried to say, but James had heard enough and had started out of the Common Room, forgetting about the Cloak and Map, which were in his room.
"Bloody hell," he swore as he ran out of the tower, ignoring the Fat Lady who was telling him off for not closing the Portrait. "I *knew* something like this would happen!"
emeraldlily22: More here! ^.^ Thanks for the review!
Acidity: Oh, I am a glasses-wearer myself. I've had glasses since I was in the third grade and I'm telling you that you CAN forget about glasses. It depends on where you are, who you are with, and what is on your mind. James was distracted by his thoughts for a time, then he was around his friends and arrived at Hogwarts, a place he's very familiar with. It's quite easy to forget about glasses, actually. I've done it just recently, actually. I was going to push up what would have been my glasses after I got out of the shower the other day but then I remembered that I didn't put them on that morning. *shrugs* Don't ask me. It could just be me, but I think people could forget about their glasses. Thanks for the review, though. ^.^ I love answering questions ^.^"
HPdreamer15: Hey, Gwen! ^.^ Wow. Fave. Author AND Fic? *whistles* It is not that good, is it? I mean, really...is it? O.o? *sighs* Oh, dear...old English...((Javexalot: *pokes me* Methinks thou must learn thy manners)) *mutters under breath to Javexalot* Methinks thou got hit in thy head once too many. ((Javexalot: *gapes in disbelief*)) Thanks for the review, Gwen! ^.^"*runs from Javexalot*
tempest: You call me a genius! Well you should know the number one rule then! Never rush a genius, Temp! ^.^ Beisdes I wasn't behind the comp or the review box. I was in the anime section...reading :P ^.^" Sorry for the long wait, but it was worth it, wasn't it? *smiles and nods* Yes, it was. ^.^ Lookie! It's even DEDICATED to you! ^.^" Feel special! Thanks for the promo and I LOVED that last chapter of yours! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! ^.^
Midnite Jewel: ^.^ Thank you for the review! I know, I loved that part with Lily and James too...*pouts* I want a guy that can woo me like that...*dreamy sigh* Well, I hope you enjoyed this part! ^.^
Eternity: ...hm...rhymes with my real name Trinity...Eternity :P ^.^ Sorry, couldn't help it. Thanks for the review!
animegirl: Hehe ^.^ Yes, he did get picked on a bit, didn't he? ^.^ Gee, I would never have known that people actually liked this fic if there hadn't been so many reviews! *sweatdrops* Jeez...well, of course I COULD leave you hanging(which I just did ^.^), but I'm not always going to if I do. ^.^ I'm not that cruel. Thank you for the review! ^.^
beth: Curious? About James' secret? ^.^" Well, I bet as soon as some people hear the secret, they'll be like "Oi....that's been SO overdone!" but I'm promising you that there is more secrets. ^.^ Let's just say after this one is solved, there'll still be another one hiding 'round the corner. ^.^" I love being the author ^.^ All powerful. ^.^ Just kidding. Hope you enjoyed! ^.^"
Them Girl: No problem with the email change. I don't really mind, actually. At least I know you're a faithful reader ^.~ Ah, another lover of that poetry part. Well, I have to say I had fun writing it, though when my lil sis read it she called it 'cheesy' -_- oi...remind me to never let my lil sis read the romance parts, eh? Hope you enjoyed this chapter! SUPER LONG!, ne? ^.^"
Quack Quack 88: *blushes* Talented? *goes redder* Rare gem? *goes purple* Diamond in the rough? ((Javexalot: *looks to QQ88* She looks as though she may explode, no?)) No, I don't! *hides face* Sorry, sorry. I'm just very...well...easily embarrassed when it comes to my writing. I CAN'T believe you think its a rare gem! ((Javexalot: *clears throat and points me to the rest of the review*)) Oh, yeah. Why does James carry it around? You'll find out...hm...*looks* OH! Next chapter! Exciting, ne? Everyone gets know the secret. And you're right, it is easier to keep the pendant on his person rather than in his trunk. The pendant is plenty important, I'll tell you that. Thanks for the wonderful review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! ^.^
mooncancer: More here! ^.^ Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed! ^.^
Emily Woodmark: *blushes* So many compliments! ^.^" Thanks for the review!
Ariana: Wait...which one is this? *is confused* Erm...*looks* Oh! Yes! How could I forget *hits forehead* Sorry, but there's TWO of you now! Creepy! >_>; erm..yeah...creepy. ^.^" everyone seems to think that the last part of that chapter was a hit. ^.^ I can't believe how well it went. I thought I'd get reviews like "Wow...this is cheesy...want some whine to go with it?" ^.^" Yes, yes...school bites...I have finals as soon as the Hols are over, so I SHOULD be studying, and I SHOULD be doing my Free Enterprise class's assignment, but I'm too lazy. Hope you do well at school and thank for the review! Hope you enjoyed this chapter(yes, repetative, aren't I? ^.^")
Darcel Lucia: Well, I'd be touchy if someone said that about my mom. ^.^" Thanks for the review! ^.^"
Ariana: Hoo-boy, this'll get confuzzling. ^.^" Glad you liked that part and that you enjoyed that chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well ^.^"
J. Kay: Oh, dear...I hope I didn't make Lily seem that way. I just want to make her sort of...well...independent may be the word I'm looking for...maybe not *shrugs* She's not meant to look annoying. Oh, well. Hope you enjoyed the rest of the fic! ^.^"