She snuggled up close to me. "Michael, watch where you put that
....thing," she giggled.
"I can't help it if my penis is enormous, okay?"
She giggled.
...and I fell asleep to her aroma. I could get used to this.
I started dreaming about stupid things. Nothing perverted, mind
you. About how I'd like to get a little house with....
I guess I am just getting to the age where I'm ready to settle
down. Mia just made me remember the type of person that I wanted. I
couldn't have her, but I could find someone like her, right?
No, no one is like her.
MIA:
"Amelia, what is the meaning of these photos? They are all over
the place!" Grandmere barked the next morning into my cell phone.
"Sorry Grandmere. I just wanted a balanced tan line," I lied.
"When are you returning?" she demanded. Wow, she actually bought
that balanced tan line thing?
"I'm not certain," I said.
"When this silly tour is over?" she asked.
"No. I mean, I don't know. I'm still...still trying to forget
things."
"You will never forget him completely, my love. He's always
going to be a ghost following you around no matter what."
"Grandmere?" I said softly.
"Yes dear?"
"I-I just want to be young again," I admitted. The tears started
now.
"Amelia, you ARE young."
"No. I am always in damn business suits and going to functions
that I don't even know the cause for. I want to be on my own. Why
can't I? You guys don't need me now. Not until..." I said drifting off.
"Grandmere, I love you and Dad so much. I just need...I need to be on my
own ya know?"
I was glad that she and I had forged a real bond over the years.
She no longer saw me as a child, but as a peer.
"Amelia," she started. "We do need you. But I think that you
need you right now. You can't find that here. Go and be with your
friends," she said. I was kind of surprised.
"Seriously?" I asked.
"Amelia, I saw you after Joshua. I saw you before Joshua. Other
than being with him, you were never happier than with your friends. Go
and have fun. Be a young woman. Come back when you are ready for the
responsibility of being part of our family. I'm not scolding you,
child, just trying to help you."
A smile crept onto my face. "Are you sure, Grandmere?"
"Yes. I must go though. Prince Charles is arriving any moment.
Celeste still hasn't finished setting for tea."
"I love you Grandmere," I said softly.
"You too darling. No go along with your little friends."
I sat out on my balcony later that night. All alone. I
started writing.
Dearest Boy,
It has been two months since you have left me all alone. I never
thought I could move on, and I still haven't, but I know that I can do
it eventually. I loved you from the moment I first met you, laid eyes
on you really. The way you adapted to my way of life amazed me. I
never thought I could meet someone like you who would give up on all
of their dreams for me. If I had been you I would have run the other
way completely. Never looked back.
I've been spending time with Lilly, Tony and Michael. I'm
sure you already know that though. They have become the dearest of
friends, I'm sure you would be having a blast if you were with us. I
mean, sure the cost of the shows the boys put on is outrageous. You
would probably go on about how it could feed a country in Africa, but
you would still have a blast. Michael wrote a song about me, but not
romantic. It was about me moving on. He thinks I'm strong enough to do
it, do you? I know you do, you even told me so.
I've been trying to think of you less, but it's hard. Every
morning I still think of running down the hall to your room to read
the paper and eat our toast and jam together, but then I remember
right away that I can't do that anymore. I eat my breakfasts with
Michael very often. We go down to the hotel lobby or we order room
service to come to one of our rooms. I haven't slept with him, per se,
but I know you now must know the truth. We have slept together in the
past. Just one time, Joshua. I regret it at times. When I was with you
I regretted it all the time because I wished I had waited for you to
come into my life.
But then there are times that I look at him and see how
wonderful he is to me and to all of his friends. I could not have
asked for someone so perfect to spend that awkward time with. I mean,
I know you had slept with Katelyn when we were on that mission, and I
don't fault you for that. You two had been drunk, but still. I loved
Michael at that time, and I'm terrified of what that means now. Please
Joshua, give me some kind of guidance...
Tread lightly, she is near
Under the snow,
Speak gently, she can hear
The daisies grow
All her bright golden hair
Tarnished with rust,
She that was young and fair
Fallen to dust
Lily-like, white as snow
She hardly knew
She was a woman, so
Sweetly she grew.
Coffin-board, heavy stone,
Lie on her breast,
I vex my heart alone
She is at rest.
Peace, Peace, she cannot hear
Lyre or sonnet
All my life's buried here,
Heap earth upon it
Love Always and Forever, your Darling Girl
I stuck that note into a balloon and let it go into the night sky.
That poem was one we often spoke about. His favorite poet, Oscar Wilde
wrote that poem over a hundred years ago. (Resquiet, sp?)
We had talked about what it'd be like to lose someone we loved
so, and how neither of us ever thought we could survive such a time.
This was years before we had gotten together though. I didn't let the
tears climb down my cheek.
Michael came up behind me with a bottle of wine. "What's the
occasion?" I asked, taking a wine glass.
"Just felt like drinking a little with a beautiful girl," he
said. I could swear he was flirting. But I wasn't sure what to say
back.
"Where is she?" I asked with a teasing tone.
"Oh come on Mia, you know you are beautiful," he said with a
smile. "It's supposed to rain..."
"I heard. When is this tour over?" I asked as he poured some
wine into my glass.
"We just found out we're going to go with them on their American
leg as well."
"No way! That's awesome!"
"Yup. I'm really excited. Will you be going back to Genovia?" he
asked, adding that part about Genovia minutes later.
I thought for a moment. "No, I'd like to go back home for
awhile."
"New York? You don't want to come-"
"Michael, I have been everywhere in the whole world. Name a
country and I will tell you which hotel I stayed in."
"So?"
"I haven't seen America really. Just the little parts of it. New
York, Connecticut, Virginia... No where else really. I want to
experience it all," I said breathlessly.
He smiled, "Good. I would miss you if you left us now," he said
with a wink.
Our flight to America was two weeks later. The two weeks between
that night we got drunk on the balcony and the flight weren't very
eventful, except for the fact that I started realizing my feelings for
Michael were re-emerging.
Every time he looked at me my heart literally skipped a beat.
Every time we touched...even the slightest non meaningful kinds of
touches, made me go crazy. I loved falling asleep with him. His arms
felt so right around me. I found it difficult anytime we weren't in
the same bed. I liked hearing his little snoring sounds throughout
the night. And waking up in the middle of the night to see the funny
facial expressions he made while asleep. I was falling in-
What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't help but feel guilty because
of Joshua. What would he be thinking right now? What would I be doing
right now if he were alive?
"Penny for your thoughts?" Michael whispered on the flight.
Everyone else was watching the latest Jack Nicholson movie.
"There are too many thoughts...."
"I'm an emerging rock star, I have plenty of pennies. Spill," he
said with a smile.
"I'm just thinking about Joshua," I started. I could swear the
smile disappeared once that name was mentioned. "And what he would
think of this outfit," I said with a laugh.
Michael looked at what I was wearing. He gave a mischievous
grin, "He would not be having clean thoughts, I'll let you know that,"
he promised. I was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top and low rise
jeans.
"I never wore clothes like this with him," I explained. "Always
suits."
"I'm amazed he fell for you," Michael teased.
He grabbed my hand while we were landing. I had once told him
about how nervous landings made me, so he always held my hand. I
smiled nervously at him. The slightest touch sent shivers down my
spine. I felt like I was fourteen again and he was tutoring me in
algebra.
"Welcome to New York," the hotel manager greeted us. He
recognized me right away from all of my years visiting the Plaza.
Grandmere had called ahead to inform them of my arrival.
"Hello Peter," I greeted warmly.
"Your highness, it is such an honor to have you returning here
once again. I am terribly sorry about your...loss."
He said the word loss like I 'lost' my keys or something.
"Which way to our rooms?" Michael interrupted. He didn't want to
see me upset.
"I might stay with my mother," I cut in.
"Mia..." Michael said, his eyes filled with hurt. "I thought we
were going to run around like Eloise!" he said, covering himself.
"I just haven't seen mom, or Frank and Rocky since... and the baby
is due any day now."
"Okay, hon," Michael said. "Bring these bags up to the suite,"
he told the bellhop. "And you can bring these to that cab out there."
He pulled me outside and sat with me in the cab. "I want to make
sure you get there okay," he explained.
I hadn't been inside a New York City cab since I was fourteen
years old. I hadn't missed much. It still smelled like BO. The driver
was listening to a Yankee's game on the radio. "You bums! You're
letting the God Damned Red Sox beat you!" (A/N, haha! I needed some
justice in the world!)
We got to my mother's loft and surprised her. She hadn't changed
the place very much, but now my old room was Rocky's. He had sports
memorabilia all around it.
"Mia!" he greeted. "Who's that?" he snapped.
"This is my friend, Michael," I explained. "He's Lilly's big
brother."
"Oh. Daddy is teaching me the drums you know."
"That's awesome! Where is he?"
"He's at a teacher's conference. He's been gone all week so he
hasn't been teaching me."
"I will," Michael said, pulling my little brother to the drum
set that Frank had just bought.
"You know the drums?" Rocky asked.
My mother, who at this time is eight and a half months pregnant
(shocking, I know, but true I would be a big twenty four year old
sister. I could be the kids mother for crying out loud!), gave me a
big hug. "Darling, you look wonderful! So tan! The lines are even..."
she teased.
"I know, don't talk about those stupid pictures, Mom. I can't
believe how interested people are in them."
"Men always will be interested in a woman's chest, even if it is
blurred out."
I looked at the picture my mother was holding. It was the one
from In Touch. I was talking to Michael, who was trunkless. His bottom
was blurred out. I was smiling and grabbing his arm.
"You two look friendly," Mom said with a raised eyebrow. "How
was the frontal package?" she whispered.
"MOM!" I said, shocked.
"Well, you did get a good view of it."
I smiled, "Well..."
"Mia? How was it, come on. We are both adults here..."
I looked to make sure he was busy with Rocky. "It was nice." My
mother didn't know that I had seen the penal area of Michael Moscovitz
many a time before.
"Mia, have you guys been hanging out a lot on tour?"
"Of course we have. Lilly has been with Tony-"
"But now she's back to work. What are you going to do now?"
I hadn't thought of that. "Well, Michael is my best friend now,
I can spend time with him."
"You know, Joshua kind of reminded me of Michael, from when you
went to school with him. Doesn't he?"
I refused to admit it out loud. "Not really. I mean, Michael has
dark hair, Joshua has blonde." I still couldn't talk about him in the
past tense.
"Personality wise though." She looked over at him. "He's nice,
Mia. So cute."
"Mom, I need to get over Joshua before I even consider thinking
about him."
"Mia, Joshua would want you to go for happiness."
"Mom, I don't even think he'd be happy with me. I'm a princess
for crying out loud. I would be holding him back. I mean, right now at
twenty four I can go off on my own and have fun with him on the road,
not that kind of fun," I said looking at her expression. "But after
Grandmere and Dad die, I have to stay in Genovia and take care of an
entire country."
Mom sat down on a chair she had made herself. "Mia, I had loved
your father, but not enough to marry him. I wanted my own life. Your
father understood that. So, I can see where you would want him to have
a life of his own, and to let him be happy on his own. But Mia, you
two are a little different from your dad and I. You two are older than
we were. You both have had experiences that have made you who you are.
You guys do belong together-"
"Mom, stop right there. You haven't seen us together-"
"But your father has. Grandmere has. It isn't just a little love
affair, Mia. They tell me that you come alive when he's around."
"Mom..."
"Hey ladies," Michael said, coming into the kitchen. "What's
shaking?" he grabbed a piece of candy my mother had on the table.
"Hi Michael..." Mom said with a smile.
"You like what you see?" he asked with a laugh, pointing to the
open magazine.
"Oh yes, Michael. It's just wonderful. Too bad it's all blurred
out," she said with a laugh.
With that he turned around, and mooned my mother! Yes, he showed
off his bottom to my poor mother!
"Michael!" I said rushing in front of him. What kind of guy does
that?
"Mia, come on. It's not like she hasn't seen an ass before," he
said with a laugh. My mother stood up.
"Mia..."
"What?"
"Go call a cab."
"Huh?" My mom never takes cabs. She hates the smell. And she
says that there's nowhere you can't walk to in New York City. If it's
too far you should just take the subway.
"I need to get to St. Vincents."
"T-The baby?" I asked with wide eyes.
Michael was on the phone right away. "Miss Thermopolis the cab
is coming right now. Let's get downstairs."
"Rocky, go get Mom's bag," I ordered.
His eyes were wide as baseballs. Mom's water had broken right in
the middle of the kitchen. I held back my nausea. "Rocky, NOW."
"I can't help it if my penis is enormous, okay?"
She giggled.
...and I fell asleep to her aroma. I could get used to this.
I started dreaming about stupid things. Nothing perverted, mind
you. About how I'd like to get a little house with....
I guess I am just getting to the age where I'm ready to settle
down. Mia just made me remember the type of person that I wanted. I
couldn't have her, but I could find someone like her, right?
No, no one is like her.
MIA:
"Amelia, what is the meaning of these photos? They are all over
the place!" Grandmere barked the next morning into my cell phone.
"Sorry Grandmere. I just wanted a balanced tan line," I lied.
"When are you returning?" she demanded. Wow, she actually bought
that balanced tan line thing?
"I'm not certain," I said.
"When this silly tour is over?" she asked.
"No. I mean, I don't know. I'm still...still trying to forget
things."
"You will never forget him completely, my love. He's always
going to be a ghost following you around no matter what."
"Grandmere?" I said softly.
"Yes dear?"
"I-I just want to be young again," I admitted. The tears started
now.
"Amelia, you ARE young."
"No. I am always in damn business suits and going to functions
that I don't even know the cause for. I want to be on my own. Why
can't I? You guys don't need me now. Not until..." I said drifting off.
"Grandmere, I love you and Dad so much. I just need...I need to be on my
own ya know?"
I was glad that she and I had forged a real bond over the years.
She no longer saw me as a child, but as a peer.
"Amelia," she started. "We do need you. But I think that you
need you right now. You can't find that here. Go and be with your
friends," she said. I was kind of surprised.
"Seriously?" I asked.
"Amelia, I saw you after Joshua. I saw you before Joshua. Other
than being with him, you were never happier than with your friends. Go
and have fun. Be a young woman. Come back when you are ready for the
responsibility of being part of our family. I'm not scolding you,
child, just trying to help you."
A smile crept onto my face. "Are you sure, Grandmere?"
"Yes. I must go though. Prince Charles is arriving any moment.
Celeste still hasn't finished setting for tea."
"I love you Grandmere," I said softly.
"You too darling. No go along with your little friends."
I sat out on my balcony later that night. All alone. I
started writing.
Dearest Boy,
It has been two months since you have left me all alone. I never
thought I could move on, and I still haven't, but I know that I can do
it eventually. I loved you from the moment I first met you, laid eyes
on you really. The way you adapted to my way of life amazed me. I
never thought I could meet someone like you who would give up on all
of their dreams for me. If I had been you I would have run the other
way completely. Never looked back.
I've been spending time with Lilly, Tony and Michael. I'm
sure you already know that though. They have become the dearest of
friends, I'm sure you would be having a blast if you were with us. I
mean, sure the cost of the shows the boys put on is outrageous. You
would probably go on about how it could feed a country in Africa, but
you would still have a blast. Michael wrote a song about me, but not
romantic. It was about me moving on. He thinks I'm strong enough to do
it, do you? I know you do, you even told me so.
I've been trying to think of you less, but it's hard. Every
morning I still think of running down the hall to your room to read
the paper and eat our toast and jam together, but then I remember
right away that I can't do that anymore. I eat my breakfasts with
Michael very often. We go down to the hotel lobby or we order room
service to come to one of our rooms. I haven't slept with him, per se,
but I know you now must know the truth. We have slept together in the
past. Just one time, Joshua. I regret it at times. When I was with you
I regretted it all the time because I wished I had waited for you to
come into my life.
But then there are times that I look at him and see how
wonderful he is to me and to all of his friends. I could not have
asked for someone so perfect to spend that awkward time with. I mean,
I know you had slept with Katelyn when we were on that mission, and I
don't fault you for that. You two had been drunk, but still. I loved
Michael at that time, and I'm terrified of what that means now. Please
Joshua, give me some kind of guidance...
Tread lightly, she is near
Under the snow,
Speak gently, she can hear
The daisies grow
All her bright golden hair
Tarnished with rust,
She that was young and fair
Fallen to dust
Lily-like, white as snow
She hardly knew
She was a woman, so
Sweetly she grew.
Coffin-board, heavy stone,
Lie on her breast,
I vex my heart alone
She is at rest.
Peace, Peace, she cannot hear
Lyre or sonnet
All my life's buried here,
Heap earth upon it
Love Always and Forever, your Darling Girl
I stuck that note into a balloon and let it go into the night sky.
That poem was one we often spoke about. His favorite poet, Oscar Wilde
wrote that poem over a hundred years ago. (Resquiet, sp?)
We had talked about what it'd be like to lose someone we loved
so, and how neither of us ever thought we could survive such a time.
This was years before we had gotten together though. I didn't let the
tears climb down my cheek.
Michael came up behind me with a bottle of wine. "What's the
occasion?" I asked, taking a wine glass.
"Just felt like drinking a little with a beautiful girl," he
said. I could swear he was flirting. But I wasn't sure what to say
back.
"Where is she?" I asked with a teasing tone.
"Oh come on Mia, you know you are beautiful," he said with a
smile. "It's supposed to rain..."
"I heard. When is this tour over?" I asked as he poured some
wine into my glass.
"We just found out we're going to go with them on their American
leg as well."
"No way! That's awesome!"
"Yup. I'm really excited. Will you be going back to Genovia?" he
asked, adding that part about Genovia minutes later.
I thought for a moment. "No, I'd like to go back home for
awhile."
"New York? You don't want to come-"
"Michael, I have been everywhere in the whole world. Name a
country and I will tell you which hotel I stayed in."
"So?"
"I haven't seen America really. Just the little parts of it. New
York, Connecticut, Virginia... No where else really. I want to
experience it all," I said breathlessly.
He smiled, "Good. I would miss you if you left us now," he said
with a wink.
Our flight to America was two weeks later. The two weeks between
that night we got drunk on the balcony and the flight weren't very
eventful, except for the fact that I started realizing my feelings for
Michael were re-emerging.
Every time he looked at me my heart literally skipped a beat.
Every time we touched...even the slightest non meaningful kinds of
touches, made me go crazy. I loved falling asleep with him. His arms
felt so right around me. I found it difficult anytime we weren't in
the same bed. I liked hearing his little snoring sounds throughout
the night. And waking up in the middle of the night to see the funny
facial expressions he made while asleep. I was falling in-
What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't help but feel guilty because
of Joshua. What would he be thinking right now? What would I be doing
right now if he were alive?
"Penny for your thoughts?" Michael whispered on the flight.
Everyone else was watching the latest Jack Nicholson movie.
"There are too many thoughts...."
"I'm an emerging rock star, I have plenty of pennies. Spill," he
said with a smile.
"I'm just thinking about Joshua," I started. I could swear the
smile disappeared once that name was mentioned. "And what he would
think of this outfit," I said with a laugh.
Michael looked at what I was wearing. He gave a mischievous
grin, "He would not be having clean thoughts, I'll let you know that,"
he promised. I was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top and low rise
jeans.
"I never wore clothes like this with him," I explained. "Always
suits."
"I'm amazed he fell for you," Michael teased.
He grabbed my hand while we were landing. I had once told him
about how nervous landings made me, so he always held my hand. I
smiled nervously at him. The slightest touch sent shivers down my
spine. I felt like I was fourteen again and he was tutoring me in
algebra.
"Welcome to New York," the hotel manager greeted us. He
recognized me right away from all of my years visiting the Plaza.
Grandmere had called ahead to inform them of my arrival.
"Hello Peter," I greeted warmly.
"Your highness, it is such an honor to have you returning here
once again. I am terribly sorry about your...loss."
He said the word loss like I 'lost' my keys or something.
"Which way to our rooms?" Michael interrupted. He didn't want to
see me upset.
"I might stay with my mother," I cut in.
"Mia..." Michael said, his eyes filled with hurt. "I thought we
were going to run around like Eloise!" he said, covering himself.
"I just haven't seen mom, or Frank and Rocky since... and the baby
is due any day now."
"Okay, hon," Michael said. "Bring these bags up to the suite,"
he told the bellhop. "And you can bring these to that cab out there."
He pulled me outside and sat with me in the cab. "I want to make
sure you get there okay," he explained.
I hadn't been inside a New York City cab since I was fourteen
years old. I hadn't missed much. It still smelled like BO. The driver
was listening to a Yankee's game on the radio. "You bums! You're
letting the God Damned Red Sox beat you!" (A/N, haha! I needed some
justice in the world!)
We got to my mother's loft and surprised her. She hadn't changed
the place very much, but now my old room was Rocky's. He had sports
memorabilia all around it.
"Mia!" he greeted. "Who's that?" he snapped.
"This is my friend, Michael," I explained. "He's Lilly's big
brother."
"Oh. Daddy is teaching me the drums you know."
"That's awesome! Where is he?"
"He's at a teacher's conference. He's been gone all week so he
hasn't been teaching me."
"I will," Michael said, pulling my little brother to the drum
set that Frank had just bought.
"You know the drums?" Rocky asked.
My mother, who at this time is eight and a half months pregnant
(shocking, I know, but true I would be a big twenty four year old
sister. I could be the kids mother for crying out loud!), gave me a
big hug. "Darling, you look wonderful! So tan! The lines are even..."
she teased.
"I know, don't talk about those stupid pictures, Mom. I can't
believe how interested people are in them."
"Men always will be interested in a woman's chest, even if it is
blurred out."
I looked at the picture my mother was holding. It was the one
from In Touch. I was talking to Michael, who was trunkless. His bottom
was blurred out. I was smiling and grabbing his arm.
"You two look friendly," Mom said with a raised eyebrow. "How
was the frontal package?" she whispered.
"MOM!" I said, shocked.
"Well, you did get a good view of it."
I smiled, "Well..."
"Mia? How was it, come on. We are both adults here..."
I looked to make sure he was busy with Rocky. "It was nice." My
mother didn't know that I had seen the penal area of Michael Moscovitz
many a time before.
"Mia, have you guys been hanging out a lot on tour?"
"Of course we have. Lilly has been with Tony-"
"But now she's back to work. What are you going to do now?"
I hadn't thought of that. "Well, Michael is my best friend now,
I can spend time with him."
"You know, Joshua kind of reminded me of Michael, from when you
went to school with him. Doesn't he?"
I refused to admit it out loud. "Not really. I mean, Michael has
dark hair, Joshua has blonde." I still couldn't talk about him in the
past tense.
"Personality wise though." She looked over at him. "He's nice,
Mia. So cute."
"Mom, I need to get over Joshua before I even consider thinking
about him."
"Mia, Joshua would want you to go for happiness."
"Mom, I don't even think he'd be happy with me. I'm a princess
for crying out loud. I would be holding him back. I mean, right now at
twenty four I can go off on my own and have fun with him on the road,
not that kind of fun," I said looking at her expression. "But after
Grandmere and Dad die, I have to stay in Genovia and take care of an
entire country."
Mom sat down on a chair she had made herself. "Mia, I had loved
your father, but not enough to marry him. I wanted my own life. Your
father understood that. So, I can see where you would want him to have
a life of his own, and to let him be happy on his own. But Mia, you
two are a little different from your dad and I. You two are older than
we were. You both have had experiences that have made you who you are.
You guys do belong together-"
"Mom, stop right there. You haven't seen us together-"
"But your father has. Grandmere has. It isn't just a little love
affair, Mia. They tell me that you come alive when he's around."
"Mom..."
"Hey ladies," Michael said, coming into the kitchen. "What's
shaking?" he grabbed a piece of candy my mother had on the table.
"Hi Michael..." Mom said with a smile.
"You like what you see?" he asked with a laugh, pointing to the
open magazine.
"Oh yes, Michael. It's just wonderful. Too bad it's all blurred
out," she said with a laugh.
With that he turned around, and mooned my mother! Yes, he showed
off his bottom to my poor mother!
"Michael!" I said rushing in front of him. What kind of guy does
that?
"Mia, come on. It's not like she hasn't seen an ass before," he
said with a laugh. My mother stood up.
"Mia..."
"What?"
"Go call a cab."
"Huh?" My mom never takes cabs. She hates the smell. And she
says that there's nowhere you can't walk to in New York City. If it's
too far you should just take the subway.
"I need to get to St. Vincents."
"T-The baby?" I asked with wide eyes.
Michael was on the phone right away. "Miss Thermopolis the cab
is coming right now. Let's get downstairs."
"Rocky, go get Mom's bag," I ordered.
His eyes were wide as baseballs. Mom's water had broken right in
the middle of the kitchen. I held back my nausea. "Rocky, NOW."