"Landon....Landon."
"Five more minutes mommy."
"Oh, don't you mommy your new wife! You've got to get up and come to church
with me! We promised that we'd pass out the collection plates this month,
remember?"
"Ugh. Do we have to Jamie?"
"Well, if you don't want to......maybe I'll call up Eddy. I'm sure he
wouldn't mind going to church with me......"
My eyes rocketed open. I knew she was only joking, but that thought of Jamie going to church with anybody but me was enough to wake me out of the deepest sleep. Even this early she looked great. She was always beautiful. This morning she was wearing a beautiful yellow jumper sprinkled with violets. It had been a wedding gift for Belinda- surprising considering what kind of clothes Belinda usually picked out. It looked beautiful on Jamie, her hair and eyes gleaming.
"Oh Jaime....can't we just lie here all day and not go anywhere?" "Oh, it would be lovely, and I would seriously consider it if I hadn't promised daddy we would help out. "Oh Jamie, I think your dad would understand that were on our honeymoon and would rather be alone than in church."
Jamie gave me this look, and we both knew the Reverend Sullivan would understand no such thing, that he would much rather have us in church than at home alone together in a bed, even though we were legally married. And so, as much as I didn't want to, I pulled myself out of bed and donned my only suit- the one I had worn at the wedding. Me in my suit and Jamie in her jumper, we made quite an exemplary pair. We headed out of the house, startled by the sudden coolness, even though we were well in to June. I saw Jamie shiver.
"Are you cold? Do you need a jacket? Hold on and I'll go get you a jacket." "Hold your horses Carter...until I'm sick enough to be in a hospital bed permanently, I'll get my own jacket and I'll get it when I think I need it, which ISN'T now. Okay?"
I was startled at Jamie's upfront discussion about her disease. I had trouble acknowledging it in my head, or even in a passing comment. But, here she was, my dying angel, talking about it, right up front. All I could do was nod my head. The sudden bright blue sky turned to grey, as did everything around it. The sun stopped shining and everything turned black, white, or grey. It hit me hard, like being punched in the stomach by Mike Tyson. Loved or not, married or not, Jamie was going to die and there was nothing anybody could do about it. Not God, not me, not Jamie, no one. And in that exact moment I wanted more than anything in the world to be back up in that warm bed, back in dream land, where my wife was perfectly healthy with a hundred kids and a wonderful house, instead of here, in this harsh reality, with a shack on the beach with a dying wife and no hope of children. Reality bites.
My eyes rocketed open. I knew she was only joking, but that thought of Jamie going to church with anybody but me was enough to wake me out of the deepest sleep. Even this early she looked great. She was always beautiful. This morning she was wearing a beautiful yellow jumper sprinkled with violets. It had been a wedding gift for Belinda- surprising considering what kind of clothes Belinda usually picked out. It looked beautiful on Jamie, her hair and eyes gleaming.
"Oh Jaime....can't we just lie here all day and not go anywhere?" "Oh, it would be lovely, and I would seriously consider it if I hadn't promised daddy we would help out. "Oh Jamie, I think your dad would understand that were on our honeymoon and would rather be alone than in church."
Jamie gave me this look, and we both knew the Reverend Sullivan would understand no such thing, that he would much rather have us in church than at home alone together in a bed, even though we were legally married. And so, as much as I didn't want to, I pulled myself out of bed and donned my only suit- the one I had worn at the wedding. Me in my suit and Jamie in her jumper, we made quite an exemplary pair. We headed out of the house, startled by the sudden coolness, even though we were well in to June. I saw Jamie shiver.
"Are you cold? Do you need a jacket? Hold on and I'll go get you a jacket." "Hold your horses Carter...until I'm sick enough to be in a hospital bed permanently, I'll get my own jacket and I'll get it when I think I need it, which ISN'T now. Okay?"
I was startled at Jamie's upfront discussion about her disease. I had trouble acknowledging it in my head, or even in a passing comment. But, here she was, my dying angel, talking about it, right up front. All I could do was nod my head. The sudden bright blue sky turned to grey, as did everything around it. The sun stopped shining and everything turned black, white, or grey. It hit me hard, like being punched in the stomach by Mike Tyson. Loved or not, married or not, Jamie was going to die and there was nothing anybody could do about it. Not God, not me, not Jamie, no one. And in that exact moment I wanted more than anything in the world to be back up in that warm bed, back in dream land, where my wife was perfectly healthy with a hundred kids and a wonderful house, instead of here, in this harsh reality, with a shack on the beach with a dying wife and no hope of children. Reality bites.