Jamie and I volunteered every Sunday at her father's church. Jamie was fine
with it. I, on the other hand, had to get used to it. I mean, I had been
going to Hegbert's church since my family moved to Beaufort- that was
around the time that my dad had really been in to his religious phase. But
this was different. I wasn't sitting in the pews, spacing out or picking at
my jeans in the back of the church. Now I was upfront, right next to the
choir and paying rapt attention. I believed, finally. And I'm not talking
about television-evangelists-send-me-money-and-get-your-entire-family-
blessed kind of belief. I'm talking faith-is-like-the-wind belief. It
finally all made sense. That whole God came to the world through Christ to
love us finally made sense to me. And, as corny as it sounds, Jamie was the
one who opened the door to it all. She was my Christ. She wasn't the Son of
God or anything but she was the one who brought the love of God to me, just
like Christ brought it to the world. But, as much as I enjoyed the word of
God, it was what came after that that I looked forward to. After we sat
through an hour and a half service, Jamie and I would always go out for a
picnic on the beach. Always- rain or shine. If it was raining we would just
sit out there in the rain and get soaked. We had been going every Sunday
since we had started dating, and it just kept up as a tradition for us. But
this Sunday was different. A lot different.
I could tell right away that Jamie wasn't normal this Sunday. All through
the Sunday service she kept getting this glazed look in her eyes- and Jamie
always paid rapt attention to every word her father said. And then, when I
was getting our coats, I found her sitting down, her head in her hands,
gasping for breath. I knew something was up. But she still insisted on
going to the beach. It was tradition, and she didn't break tradition. And
so we got in my Camera and drove the half-mile to the beach, sat down, and
continued to have the turkey sandwiches Jamie had packed for us. My worry
began to edge away as the day continued- she was fine. That whole incident
at the church had been a fluke. She had just gotten up to fast. And so we
went home, not a care in the world, man and wife, the man with a car to
fix, the woman with a garden to tend. Boy, how wrong was I.
It happened almost as soon as we got home. Jamie slipped up the steps in to
the house. She swore to me that she had just lost her footing and was glad
I was there to catch her, she said jokingly, but there was something about
her voice that made me regret taking her to the beach. When we got through
the door, I went in to the kitchen to make her a cup of tea, telling her to
go upstairs and lie down for a little while. She agreed pleasantly, and
made her way up the stairs. That's when it happens. I heard a crash, then
what sounded like a bowling ball fall down the stairs. I knew what it was,
but I couldn't move. The teacup dropped out of my hand and shattered on the
linoleum floor in to a hundred pieces. I was glued to that spot. With feet
that seemed covered with cement I walked out to the landing, dreading what
I knew my eyes would see.
Jamie lay at the foot of the stairs, crumpled in a heap, her forehead
bleeding and her leg jutting out a weird angle. Gripped in her hand was a
locket her mother had given her when she was just a baby. I called the
police as soon as I could get my shaky fingers to press the buttons. It
took an eternity for the ambulance to get to out house, and I spent the
entire time crying over Jamie's body, afraid to touch her or move her. Why
does this happen to those I love? They leave. Why? My dad left me when I
was thirteen. My step dad left me when I was fourteen. My grandma left me
when I was seven, my grandpa a year later. My first love, Carla, left when
I was ten. And now Jamie, who was already as fragile as a china doll, was
leaving me too. I guess it was just one of those unanswered questions. And
that was what I prayed for as I tailed the ambulance to the hospital. I
prayed for the answers to all those unanswerable questions.
