Summary: Begins at the start of the Marauders' last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and continues on until that fateful Halloween night. James Potter finds out more than one secret that was hidden from him and also discovers that his feelings toward a certain Lily Evans are changing from spiteful rivalry to something...more.
Author's Notes: I feel special! I feel special! I feel special! ^.^" Wanna know why? *looks around before leaning forward to whisper* Because...I HAVE UP TO CHAPTER SIXTEEN WRITTEN IN SCRIPT! WHOO! GO ME! *dances* Love me! Worship me! I sound like a character in this story! That rhymed! *stops dancing and bows* Gomen nasai to those who were hoping that I would keep my promise which said I would post that one Wednesday a while ago. Well...this is close enough, right? ^.^" It's long too! I promise! ^.^" Okay, to the fic!
Dedicated to: KEL6! She has the right idea! Let's beat some sense into James! ^.^"
Disclaimer: Bah! I'm never doing this again, do you hear me! -.- JKR owns them....-.-' That hurt SO much to say *sobs*
Of Hidden Truths
(Finished Running)
"Now I'm beginning to think you're putting it off."
James glanced to Neil, who watched the bespectacled young man pace back and forth in the living room of his apartment. To say James was stressed out would be an understatement...
...a very large understatement.
"I have not," muttered the pacing wizard, who then ran a hand through his unruly hair while blowing a sigh and collapsing in an chair. "Merlin, I can't do this."
He couldn't do it. It had already been almost four months since Sirius had last come and it was only now that James had decided he had waited long enough. At least, that is what he tried to convince himself.
Neil just watched him with mild humor before shaking his head. "I can't believe I've fallen into The Twilight Zone," he said as he watched James stand and then go over to the closet for a moment. "Why am I even here?"
James turned to him. "Because I need to have someone to keep me from doing anything stupid," he answered simply before turning back around and taking a deep breath as he watched the closet. "Okay. Time to contact Sirius."
Just as Sirius had told him, he had known how to contact his old friend the whole time. The problem was--as it had always been--James had kept forgetting about the thing during the past few months. Whenever it came to mind, however, he had been too indecisive to go into his old trunk and get it.
That was why he had Neil around.
"How?" asked Neil as he pulled it out of his trunk before raising it for his friend to see. Neil gave him a curious look. "What is that?"
"Two-way mirror," answered James as he then turned the mirror to him to study it. "I've forgotten I had this thing until Sirius reminded me."
"Ah..." said Neil intelligently. "Like a telephone?"
"More like something out of Star Trek," muttered James distractedly as he walked over to the chair again to sit down.
Neil shook his head. "You watch too much TV."
"Weren't you the one," James began as he turned the mirror around slightly, "babbling about The Twilight Zone?"
"Twilight Zone's a classic."
"Whatever," muttered James again before he turned it around again and frowned at his reflection. "I forget how to use this thing."
"Why don't you just call him?" Neil suggested as if it was a simple idea that should have brought up earlier.
James muttered a negative. "I doubt Sirius knows how to use a telephone," he replied as he turned the mirror away from him for a second and holding it at arm's length from himself. "He's a Pureblood, afterall."
"...right," Neil once again stated intelligently.
James then ignored Neil as he turned the mirror toward himself again and turned the small circle to the right a few times. He then frowned and spoke into the mirror, "Sirius Black."
Nothing.
His brow furrowed and he turned it to the left. "Sirius!" he hissed into the mirror before pausing, waiting. "Sirius!"
There! Something was happening in the mirror. The glass was becoming a murky color that indicated that the call had been received.
"Sirius!" James called once more for good measure.
He heard his voice before he could see him. "You sure know how to pick a time to remember these things!" a clearly annoyed Sirius whispered in the mirror, his face slowly coming into focus.
"Why?" asked James confusedly. "What's happening?"
"Oh, nothing," said Sirius lightly. "Lily just happened to come over along with Ara and--"
"Who?"
"Arabella," reiterated Sirius. "The younger one, mind."
"What?" asked James, confused. "Is there two of them?"
"Ara was named after her Squib aunt--"
"Whatever," interrupted James before Sirius could go into an in-depth explanation. "Sirius...I think I'm ready."
Sirius stared at him in disbelief. "Now?" he demanded, startled.
"Well," said James slowly, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck as his other hand held up the mirror, "not now now. I think I'll go back to London the Muggle way and meet you at...King's Cross?"
"Nine and three-quarters?"
"Sure thing."
Sirius blew a sigh. "Good thing it's almost March," he muttered to himself before shaking his head and looking back to James. "When do you think you should arrive?"
"In about two days," James answered certainly.
Sirius nodded. "See you then," he said before pausing, "Oh, and a late happy birthday to you."
A small smile came to James' face at that as he nodded. "You too, Sirius."
Once again, Sirius nodded before vanishing completely from view. James held the mirror for a moment longer before lowering it and blowing a relieved sigh. That bridge had been crossed...
"You were right," said Neil, catching James' attention. "That was like Star Trek."
James didn't say anything as he mused over what the elder man had said before shaking his head and standing. "Sorry I'm just going to up and leave, but--"
"You would have been gone if you were 'up and leaving,' James," interrupted Neil with an eye roll.
"Just the same," said James as he moved toward the broken coffee table before he looked around. "I'd better start packing."
"Need help?" offered Neil, attempting to stand.
"No," said James, pulling out his wand, "I should be fine."
He aimed his wand at the books underneath the coffee table for a second before aiming at the table itself. "Wingardium Leviosa." The table slowly rose a few feet from the ground before James grabbed some of his books in his free hand.
"Why are you packing books?" asked Neil, confused as he sat back in the couch, fascinated by this display.
"My school books," answered James as he slowly lowered the table to the ground before muttering a 'Finite Incantium' and turning to put the last of the books in the chair behind him, where he had been placing the books. "I need to brush up a bit on my curses and such."
Once again, he went to the closet. This time, however, he came back to the middle of the room with a floating trunk following him.
"Oh..." said Neil slowly in reply to what his friend had last said. "What's that?"
"My old trunk," answered James before lowering it and examining it with a disappointed sigh. "My, this is a sad sight. Reparo." The trunk did a feeble little jerk as the large holes in the sides and broken hinges magically fixed themselves.
James stared at it for a moment before shrugging. "Good enough."
When he went back toward the closet for the third time Neil's curiosity was in need of being satisfy. "Now what are you doing?"
"Getting my broom!" called James from his place inside the now-cleaner closet. "Finite Incantium--ow!"
"Broom?" questioned Neil, confused. "You mean flying brooms?" He looked to James, who came out of the closet, rubbing his head with one hand and holding his broom in the other. "I thought that was witches."
Tossing the large stick to the ground, James turned to Neil with an impatient look. "What'd you think wizards were? We're only the male gender of the Magical race."
"...right," was once again the only thing intelligent Neil could say.
"Scorgify!" The cobweb-covered broom suddenly became as clean as it had been before it had been stuck up in the closet. "I hope Jess won't say anything," said James with some worry, as though he had just remembered.
"'Bout you leaving?" asked Neil. "Don't worry, I'll tell her you went back home."
"All right," said James, slightly uncertainly as he paced the living room, placing a hand on the island for a minute. "Let's see..." He then noticed something and turned to it, taking his hand from the island. "Ah! Accio box!"
A small box zipped into James' hands neatly, though it came close to hitting Neil. "Watch it! That's my head, ya know!"
"All right," said James once again, ignoring Neil indignant presence as he scanned the room once again. "Am I forgetting anything?"
"Your stick?" offered Neil uncertainly.
James paused. "Stick? You mean wand?" His brow furrowed. "But it's--" He looked to his right hand and noticed the wand he had had for years was gone. "Where is it?"
Neil gave him a confused look. "You put it on the island, remember?"
James looked to the island and, sure enough, it was there, sitting innocently. "But that--" He stopped himself, puzzled as he looked from the box to the wand in confusion. "Did I...?"
"Did you what?"
For a moment, James considered the possibility before he shook his head. "Never mind," he said, walking over to the trunk and putting all of the books, the box, and the broom inside before going to the island and retrieving his wand. He then closed his trunk and announced, "I have to get going."
"You're leaving today?" demanded Neil in disbelief.
"I only said two days because I knew I'd need some time in London to myself before meeting up with Sirius," James explained, putting a locking charm on his trunk before attempting another Repairing Charm.
"Smart," said Neil thoughtfully before he stood with a small grunt, facing James. "So...I guess I'll be seeing you."
James gave him a half-hearted smile. He doubted he'd see Neil again. "Sure," he agreed before taking hold of the handle on the end of his trunk and pulling it out of the chair.
Neil shifted slightly. "James?" he asked, gaining his friend's attention once again. "Don't hesitate to call if you need help from someone other than your magical friends. I'm always willing to help you, man."
James closed his eyes with a sigh. He wouldn't contact Neil, he knew. Not when the situation was how it was. "Thanks, Neil," he said sincerely, however. "That really means a lot."
Neil watched him for a second before huffing. "Well, get going then," he said suddenly, startling James slightly. "Time's a-wastin'!"
James watched him for a minute before nodding, a slight smile on his face. "Sure thing," he said as he dragged his trunk to the door, which he then opened and exited. "See you, Neil!"
Just as James had thought, it only took most of a day to get to London. However, jet lag was the reason he took a room at the Leaky Cauldron when it was around noon; the young keeper Tom being very helpful in that department. "Room 11 with the brass numbers," he had told him as soon as he had asked for a room.
A few hours later, James then found himself back in a place he hadn't been to in what seemed like ages.
Diagon Alley.
As he walked down the cobblestone path that separated the many shops, James was the sight for all witches and wizards to stop and gock at quite a few of them had never seen how the Muggles dressed, let alone how they dressed in the States. He ignored them, however, as he quickly made his way to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.
Tli-ling!
No one came in answer to the bell's sounding.
"Madam Malkin?" called James, knowing that the elder witch was somewhere within the establishment.
Sure enough, a head poked into the room from the back. "Yes?" the head questioned before noticing him. "Ah!" An elder witch with greying hair stepped out from behind the curtain she had been behind, measuring tools and hemming pins all over her form. One of the tapes hissed at James when she stopped in front of him. "Can I help you, Sir?"
She slapped the hissing measuring tape.
"Yes," said James, eyeing the now-hiding measuring tape, "I need some robes. Casual and formal, if you don't mind."
"Custom made, I'm guessing," she said, immediately pulling out the once-hissing measuring tape while pushing James' arms perpendicular to his body.
"Study Divination?" James asked with some humor.
"Heavens no," she answered as she placed the measuring tape onto his shoulders. "Astrology."
"Ah." The tape stretched itself from James' right wrist to his left wrist before shrinking itself into the precise measurement. With that done, she did the same with his upper body and waist.
He patiently waited as she did this, taking in the view of the street from the shop window. Then...
He blinked.
"Madam Malkin? Is that Severus Snape coming this way?" he asked, causing the elder witch to halt her measuring to peer over his shoulder and out into the street. Now that the person headed toward the shop was closer, James could see that it was indeed Snape.
"What does the infernal man want now?" muttered Madam Malkin as she collected the tape that was hissing from James' waist and headed toward the shop's door as it opened.
Tli-ling!
"Yes, Severus?" she asked exasperatedly.
Snape rose an eyebrow at her. "A cheery welcome if I ever heard one," he said coolly before scanning the shop for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as they fell on James. He then turned back to Madam Malkin with a neutral expression as he said, "I am in need of several of those robes I was looking through the other day."
"As they are?" asked Madam Malkin.
"Untouched."
"One moment then," the elder witch said before hurrying behind the curtain.
For a long moment, there was a silence in the shop. Neither of the men looked to one another or seemed to acknowledge one another.
Then one spoke, "So the prodigal son returns." James' shoulders tensed at those words as he looked to Snape, who was still watching the curtain impatiently with his arms crossed. Then the paler man looked to his old enemy, meeting his gaze evenly. "I see the passage of time has done little for you, Potter."
James snorted, looking away out the window. "Jealous of my good looks?"
"Hardly," said Snape who, James noticed, gave his Muggle clothing a distasteful look. "I, at least, remained where I am needed."
James glared at him. "Low blow, Snape."
"But perfectly observant and true, is it not?" James gave no answer. "I suppose it hardly makes a difference whether you stayed or not. The Dark Lord would still be where he is today."
"Afraid to use his name, Snape?" questioned James scathingly.
"Actually," said Snape smoothly, "I do not say his name in public as it creates...quite a stir."
James bowed his head in thought, closing his eyes as he snorted ruefully. "I see. Cowardly, using his name to instill fear among the masses."
"Indeed," said Snape dryly. "A strategy one might think him to use."
James looked to him with a curious look. "That's an odd thing to happen, you agreeing with me."
"Stranger things have happened, Potter," was all Snape said about that matter. "Have you figured out that prophecy of yours?"
"Prophecy?" asked James.
Snape glanced to him as he would glance at a simpleton. "Two of two."
"Oh..." said James, looking away as he remembered his present situation. "...yes, I believe I've gotten the most of it."
Snape nodded and then looked back to the curtain, continuing his impatient wait. James was surprised when he then said, "Then you know whom to chose."
"How much do you--" He never got to finish his question as Madam Malkin came in with her arms full of robes which she set down on a counter top.
"This enough, Severus?" she asked, neatly stacking the pile and then picking them up to hand over to the pale man.
"Plenty," he said, merely setting the pile back onto the counter as Madam Malkin took her place behind the counter quickly. "How much was it?"
"Thirty-five Galleons for the whole lot."
James watched as Snape's mouth went into a thin line as he pulled out a pouch from his robes. "Surprising how expensive things are becoming," he said as he pulled out several golden coins at a time. "I suppose the Muggles aren't the only ones with inflation."
Madam Malkin sniffed as she quickly slid the coins to herself. "These are specially made, just so you know. The cloth used and the patterns sown ensure--"
"Don't bore me with the details," interrupted Snape as he pulled out the last of the amount of coins, placing them before her and closing the pouch sharply. "You have already explained it once."
"You be sure to keep your comments to yourself then," said the witch haughtily, quickly snatching the coins off of the counter top.
"As you wish," said the wizard with cold courtesy. "Good day to you, Madam." He picked up the pile of robes and started to head out, only nodding once sharply and saying, "Potter," before he walked out the door, allowing it to slam behind him.
TLING!
"Infuriating man," said Madam Malkin as she sped from behind the counter to go to the door, pressing against the glass for a moment while looking out to the street before moving back to James, "but I suppose he has his reasons. How many of these will you be wanting?"
"Can I help you?" one of the men at the station asked him as he stood near platforms nine and ten.
"Ah, no," he answered politely. "I'm waiting for someone, actually."
"Ah," said the man before tipping his hat. "Good day then."
James blew a sigh as he left. Even though he had lived around Muggles for two years, he still wasn't sure how to act around them half of the time.
He had been waiting at King Cross Station for nearly fifteen minutes. Waiting for Sirius. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. This went beyond nervousness.
He was afraid.
"Make it a little harder to spot you, why don't you." James spun around to see Sirius standing there in Muggle clothing. Blue jean pants, a white T-shirt, and...were those sunglasses?
A bit of a smile appeared on James' face at this sight. "Glad you could make it, Sirius," he said, hands still in his jacket pockets.
"Mm..." hummed Sirius distantly as he looked around the train station. "Well, I had wanted to sleep in this morning." He then looked to James and his face fell into one of disappointment as he took off his sunglasses. "Come on, James. We're not strangers."
James paused for a moment before stepping toward his friend--
--to be enveloped in a tight embrace, Sirius breathing heavily as if he near tears with what could be joy.
Sirius then pulled away, keeping James at arm's length as he smiled largely. "Merlin, James..." he said before narrowing his eyes and losing the smile, "if you ever do that again, I will kill you myself!"
It would have been funny if it hadn't been so serious.
"I'm sorry, Sirius," sighed James, looking away from his friend. "It shouldn't have taken me this long--"
Sirius studied him for a moment before shaking his head. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said before taking a long stride to place himself beside his friend, one arm around the other man's shoulders. "You're here now. That's what's important."
James looked to him uncertainly. "I suppose so," he agreed hesitantly before studying the other man. "You know...I didn't comment before but I think your hair looks much better short."
Sirius snorted in good humor. "What are you? The Fashion King?" he asked before taking his arm off of James' shoulder and leading the way out of the station.
"Sirius?" asked James curiously as he followed. "About that Order--"
"We'll talk about that later," said Sirius lowly before glancing at the crowd with his eyes. "These days, you can't even trust that the Muggles are oblivious to our conversations."
James also looked amongst the crowd, not being so inconspicuous as he did so. Several young women and elder men glanced his way, nodding in salutations or just watching him walk passed. It was enough to convince him that Sirius' words rang true.
"All right," he asked as they walked out into the city. "Where are we going?"
Sirius glanced his way before leading him to an alley. "Moony's. He got a cabin just outside of Sherwood," he answered, pulling out a portkey.
"Interesting," said James as he glanced at the portkey. "Last week was it, right?"
"Saturday," answered Sirius with a nod before he smiled. "It was one of the easiest full moon's, I'll say that much."
James smiled back before reaching out to touch the portkey that would take him to his friends.
They landed just inside of a clearing of trees where, from a distance, a small, wooden cabin with smoke rising from the top could be seen. It was quaint and not at all extravagant, but it looked homey. Sirius immediately put the portkey into his pocket and started to walk toward the cabin, a few leaves and twigs crunching under his shoes. James followed hesitantly behind him.
When they reached the door, Sirius carefully placed the sunglasses back onto his face and looked to James with a wicked grin before knocking three times in rapid sessions.
There was a long pause...
Sirius pounded on the door over and over.
"One moment. One moment!" exclaimed a voice from inside; a more mature voice of Remus Lupin.
"Damn it all," swore the werewolf as the sounds of locks coming undone came. "If that's you, Sirius, I'm going to--"
The door opened.
"Even if I come bearing gifts?" questioned Sirius cheekily as Remus peered out the door, freezing at the sight of who was standing beside the one he had been planning to curse.
"James?" he asked in disbelief.
"Eh..." said James uncertainly before giving a sad excuse for a smile. "Hello, Moony."
Remus, however, only continued to stare at him. "Prongs, you--" He stopped himself, shaking his head and laughing lightly. "I can't believe it!" he shouted before quickly bringing James into a bone-crushing embrace. "James, it's so good to have you back here!"
James pushed away the thought that Remus wasn't exactly controlling his strength as he patted his friend on the back, saying, "It feels good to be back, Remus."
Remus then released him to let him speak, knowing that he needed to say this.
James looked at him, uncertain what to say. "I'm sorry I left, but..." He trailed off as he shook his head. "Let's put that behind us, shall we? We shoul--" He stopped to glance behind his werewolf friend. "Is that Peter I hear?"
"Allow me," said Sirius, stepping inside before Remus could say anything. James looked slightly puzzled as Remus sighed and lead the way in just as Sirius started to shout, "Oy! Wormtail! I've got a surprise for you!"
There was a pause.
"I'm not falling for that old trick! You bring the 'surprise' in here or I'm not budging!"
Sirius blinked in surprise. "That was unusually bright of him."
"Knock it off, Padfoot," said Remus as he pushed by Sirius. "Peter? It's fine to come out. Padfoot has been leashed."
"...I hate you..." was all Sirius could say.
There was the sound of someone getting up and walking over as Peter came toward where the trio stood. "What then--" he began to ask as he walked through the doorway only to stop himself as he spotted James.
"J-J-J-James?" he stammered in disbelief.
"Hallo, Peter," greeted James with some nervousness, though less the amount he felt when speaking to Sirius or Remus. "Fine weather we're having, wouldn't you say?"
"I-I-I--" Peter stopped his stuttering quickly to joyfully answer, "It is indeed! It's good to see you again, James." He paused for a moment, eyes narrowing confusedly. "But where have you been? Sirius hasn't told us anything--"
"Now that's not true!" Sirius immediately objected only to gain a pointed look from Remus. "...well...maybe it is."
James rubbed his neck a little when the attention went back to him. "I don't rightly want to say," he said slowly, avoiding everyone's eyes, "but I'll say this much." He looked up with a ironic look. "Muggles are very...creative people."
"I'll second that!" said Sirius quickly.
Remus rose a curious eyebrow. "Muggles, eh? So I take it that you became a Muggle hobo?"
"No!" exclaimed James.
"He's lying," said Sirius with a snort. "He was damn-right broke, that's what he was!"
"Very funny," said James with bland humor.
"Well," said Remus, quite suddenly, "I think it's about time for supper. Excuse me."
As Remus exited the room, Peter watching him go before looking back to the other two men left in the room. "I was in the middle of writing a--erm--letter..." he said before pausing and saying a, "Right," as he exited the room.
"...they're upset," said James bluntly.
"Oh, no," said Sirius mock reassuringly. "Peter's always happy to have his childhood hero come back to him--"
James frowned at him. "You're always so negative to him."
Sirius shrugged. "He reminds me of one of my mum's house elves," he simply said.
"Right" --James shook his head-- "but I was talking more about Remus."
Sirius paused. "...Moony's had it rough lately. No matter his education, they can't see past the fact that he's a werewolf."
"I'll never understand these ridiculous prejudices," said James with disgust.
Again Sirius shrugged before gaining a serious look. "Take it from me, James: People. Don't. Care. They only care about keeping their glass-bubbled lives safe and normal." He glanced into the doorway where Remus and Peter had exited. "Werewolves aren't 'normal' to wizards, no matter what you say."
"Not everyone can be like that," objected James before Sirius turned back to him.
"Oh, can't they?" asked the taller man cynically. "Can't they, James? I didn't tell you the whole truth about my family because I didn't want to be 'abnormal.' You did the same thing by hiding that you were the Heir of Gryffindor."
James hesitated. "...I hadn't thought of that..."
Sirius snorted. "That should be your personal quote, you know."
James sighed, ignoring the underlying insult. "I guess I need to talk to Remus." Sirius nodded. "Later." Sirius frowned. "I need..." James looked to Sirius. "I need to think for a while."
"You're sure that's safe?" asked Sirius dryly.
"Seriously, Sirius."
Sirius paused before sighing. "All right. I suppose we'll see each other later then."
"Yeah," agreed James with a nod. "I'll be back."
"I'm sorry I haven't come here until now..." A sigh. "I'm just a pathetic excuse for a person, a friend...and a son." James didn't brush away the unruly hair that was being tossed by the cool wind as he watched the slab of stone that marked the grave which had the name Jessica Potter inscribed on it.
For a moment, he just stood there, reading the head stone over and over as if hoping it would change, that the name would change into another. When this didn't occur, he sighed and sat himself onto the grass, one leg under his other leg which has its knee in the air. He wrapped his arms around that leg and placed his chin atop his knee, closing his eyes.
When he spoke, he barely realized that there was no one there to answer him, that he was alone with his questions and never getting the answers. "Remembering...all of the times in the past...when you would give me a look you thought I hadn't noticed...that old, weary look lined with sadness and joy at the same time...I can't believe I never asked, never thought there would be a" --he opened his eyes again to look at the head stone once more, that cold reminder that the one person he wanted answers from couldn't give them-- "reason to it all..."
He closed his eyes again. "I don't even know why I'm here, talking to a grave," he muttered with some frustration. "You probably can't even hear me, wherever you are. Most likely you're in Heaven, where all of your troubles and sins can't follow you..."
He opened his eyes and lifted his chin from his knee for a moment to adjust his seating, bringing his knees close to his chest and wrapping his arms around them both. "But me..." He bowed his head. "If were to die...where would I belong? Heaven because I haven't strayed down the Dark Path? Or Hell because of...his sins?
"Where do I belong now? Sirius tells me to join with him and the others in an Order, but is that where I belong?" He raised his head, almost expecting an answer, but sadly, only saw the silent head stone staring back at him.
At first he felt a pang of sadness enter his heart, but then the frustration and anger overtook that feeling and he began to shake with the harsh emotions.
"...why? Why did you have to go when there were so many things that I needed to have an answer to?" he demanded, his voice raising when the head stone revealed nothing. "Why, when dark questions began to pour out of their holdings? Why? Why, if you knew what I was, did you..." He trailed off, his voice becoming weaker. "...keep me? I don't understand..."
This time, he hadn't expected an answer. "In a time of peace, one does not believe the children to be capable of evil."
James turned in surprise to see an elder man standing behind and to the right of him. "Dad!" he exclaimed, quickly releasing and uncurling his legs as he stood. "What're you doing here?"
Edward Potter glanced at him before looking back to the head stone. "I could ask the same for you."
James uncomfortably crossed his arms, keeping his jacket close as cool winds swept across the area. "...I came home."
"But it isn't enough, is it?" James looked to Edward, surprised. "To help fight your inner demons?"
At that, James gave a snort. "Demons?" he asked cynically as he looked away to the ground. "More like the Devil himself."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, James," said Edward before adding with a sigh, "I'm sorry that when I see you for the first time in two years, it isn't in the best of locations."
"The location's fine," said James shortly before looking to Edward again. "Judging by how you responded to my questions...I take it that you already knew."
Edward sighed. "I'm sorry, James...it was never our intention to hurt you. Yes, I do know about all of this. I've known since a few weeks before you were born."
He closed his eyes in remembrance. "Your mother and I were just coming back from visiting some friends when she saw the raven on the window sill in the living room. When she read the letter and burst into tears, I went to comfort her only to have her confess everything about she and Tom Riddle."
"Why then?" asked James, catching Edward's attention. "Why didn't you do anything, knowing that?"
"James," said Edward with a weary tone, "one of the things that you need to know is that your mother and I loved each other. I still love her now and will until the end of time. Yes, I was shocked to hear how her ex-husband was studying the Dark Arts. I was mortified at the idea of what would happen if Riddle would have found out about Jessica's condition...
"Then...when your mother confessed how afraid she was that you would be stolen away from her, I remembered that though you were a part of Riddle...you were a part of Jessica. I knew then, if ever, that the sins of the father should never be the sins of the children."
James looked away again. "...I see..."
"James." The younger man looked up to his adoptive father to see him watching him with a serious expression. "I want you to know that since you were born, I have been hoping and praying for you to become how you are now: a better man than Riddle. Riddle chose his path and you were given the same choices, only you did the right thing."
James was surprised to feel something fall onto his shoulder. Looking down, he saw that it was his father's hand. He looked back up to the elder man's face with some puzzlement.
"I am," began Edward Potter with conviction, "and will always be proud of you, Son. Even after everything's said and done, you are still my son and I will always love you as such."
Then, before James could reply, he was--for the third time in that day--brought into a crushing embrace. For the first time, however, he felt a sense of closure from this action.
And this time when his father spoke the same words his friend had said before, he listened. "It doesn't matter who's blood you have in you. You're still you and nothing can ever change that."
Something pricked at his eyes but he forced it back. "Thanks...Dad," he said as they pulled away. "I need to hear...all of that."
"It's all right to be afraid, to be sad, James," said his dad lightly. "Those aren't weaknesses. Those feelings are what make you stronger in the end. Don't rely on a mask. Remember that and never forget..."
James nodded, understanding. "I'll try," he said before sighing and looking toward the head stone once more. "I just wish things were easier..."
"Who doesn't?" asked Edward with some laughter, lightening the atmosphere somewhat, before he looked to James. "I must say I was beginning to doubt Sirius would ever find you."
James snorted again. "Never doubt Sirius," he said with a small amount of sarcasm. "He seems to have a way with doing the impossible."
A long silence came upon them in which both men thought about the events of the past and what was to come in the future. It was a long time before either of them could bring up the courage to break the silence.
"...Dad?" asked James, being the one to break the silence. "Do you know about this Order Sirius has told me about?"
Edward looked to him and shook his head. "I'm sorry to say I haven't." James accepted this answer with a bit of a sigh before looking toward the ground again just before he felt a hand fall onto his shoulder, making him look up once more. "I think you should go back to your friends, James," said Edward softly.
James frowned, turning to him again. "What about you?"
Edward lifted his hand from James' shoulder to wave the question off. "I came here for a reason," he said simply before assuring James with a bit of a smile, "Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself even in times like these."
The familiar feeling of being indecisive haunted James as he nodded, granting the elder man's request. "Be careful," he said before quickly embracing Edward once more.
"I will be."
"So Sirius told you about the Order."
James looked to Remus, who was sitting in a rather ragged old armchair and drinking some tea as the conversation continued. "Yes, but...I don't know if I could..." James trailed off.
Peter picked up the thread of conversation with, "Why? Shouldn't you want to be involved as you're the Heir of Gryffindor?"
Sirius jerked his head to Peter with some surprise. "When--"
James shook his head, interrupting Sirius' question. "It's more complicated than that now," he said, keeping his eyes adverted as he then said, "I'd rather not say how, either."
"Ah," said Remus mildly, lowering his drink for a moment before giving James a considering look. "I think you should follow your feelings on this matter."
"Wait," said Sirius, trying to break into the conversation once again. "I'm curious--"
"'Use the Force, Luke.' How typical," muttered James sourly.
"In any case," said Remus as he placed his drink on an old table near the armchair he was sitting in, "I think you should join. You can be an inactive member until you finally decide--"
"But that means you won't be involved in anything until then," said Peter, interrupting Remus who nodded.
Sirius rolled his eyes at the fact that he was being ignored as James answered, "...I suppose that's all I can do for now."
"Good," said Remus, standing. "I'll inform Albus--"
"Dumbledore?" exclaimed James, outraged, before spinning toward Sirius. "Sirius--!"
Sirius rolled his eyes once more before interrupting, "I didn't say you were joining him, James. You're joining us. Remus, Peter, me, Ara, Lily--"
"Lily?" shouted James before pointing an accusing finger at Sirius. "This is the last time I take your word for something, Sirius!"
"Love you, too, James."
Remus looked confusedly between the two of them. "Something wrong between you and Albus, James?" he asked.
James paused for a moment, looking to Sirius and then to Peter and then finally Remus before he looked away once more, muttering, "...you can say that."
Sirius explained, "Long story short: James can hold grudges!"
"This isn't funny, Sirius," said James sourly.
"Of course it isn't," said Sirius seriously. "James, Dumbledore is our best chance against Voldemort. He's the only man that Voldemort is afraid of--"
"More like he knows Dumbledore can be as powerful, if not more so--" interrupted Remus only to be interrupted in turn by Sirius.
"In any case, if Dumbledore knows your situation, then he can help!"
This was not the best move on Sirius' part as James' temper flared with those words. "Why didn't he help sooner, Sirius? That's the whole reason--!"
"Don't start an argument about that here," interrupted Sirius lowly, eyes narrowed, "unless you want to be more open to everyone here, James."
James looked around the room once more before looking to Sirius, glaring at him for trapping him like that. He then stood and declared, "I need some air," as he walked out of the room before pausing as he could hear that they were continuing to speak.
"Sirius," he could hear Remus saying from the room, "there's a little thing called tact that you should know of--"
A small pause that could have included a small huff from Sirius before he said, "Tact wasn't how I got him to come back. What he needs to understand is that things are how they are. We can't change them, so we need to live with them."
"About that--" Remus began to say as James began to head toward the door leading outside of the cabin, still very much angered by what Sirius was saying.
"Don't even start..." Sirius' voice faded as he exited the cabin and entered the forest.
It was a long while until James and Sirius could talk civilly to one another, but as soon as that day came, Remus informed everyone that James was to go to Hogwarts to see Dumbledore about joining the Order.
"So how do we do this?" asked James when Remus explained this.
"Simple enough," said the werewolf. "Floo powder. I'll apparate to Hogsmeade--"
"What for?" asked Sirius, his curiosity piqued.
"I need to speak with a professor," answered Remus simply.
"Oh," said Sirius as Remus then continued, "Peter is busy with something that has to do with the Order, so he won't be coming--"
"But I'll be right with you, Prongs," said Sirius cheekily.
"...that's supposed to reassure me, right?" asked James cautiously leaning away from Sirius.
"I'm always a joke to you, aren't I--?"
"Cut it out, you two," interrupted Remus exasperatedly before they went quiet. "Now. You need to get going."
"Right," said James with a nod, knowing they would all wait for him to make the first move. After a period of time, he finally gave a sigh and stood from the old armchair to walk over to the fireplace where a small, homey fire was currently sitting. Sirius then followed his example while Remus held out a small pouch.
Looking from the pouch to Remus, James hesitated for a moment. Truthfully, he wasn't looking forward to this meeting with Dumbledore, but he knew that his friends would be with him throughout the whole meeting and that made things slightly better...
...so he quickly grabbed a sizable amount of Floo powder and tossed it into the flames, before stating clearly, "Dumbledore's office."
"He redecorated," commented Sirius as he brushed himself off, stepping away from the fireplace. The trip had been short but dizzying and, quite frankly, was something that James wasn't looking forward to experiencing again. He never liked going by Floo anyway...
Just as Sirius had said, the headmaster's office was much different than it had been the last time he had seen it over two years ago. Instead of there being a large mess of an assortment of magical items lying about, the round room was somewhat more organized, if not a bit less unique. The desk where the old headmaster would sit behind was not in as good of a shape as the room, however, as it was covered with parchment and quills and inks. This puzzled James greatly but he pushed the thought aside and turned to Sirius curiously, "He knows we're coming, right?"
Sirius, who had been looking around the room some, stopped under the portrait of a particularly harsh-looking wizard to face James. "You know Dumbledore," he said pleasantly, turning around to study the portrait, his hands behind his back, "not a thing in Hogwarts that he doesn't know about."
"Hopefully not or he has us for breaking several laws," said James dryly, pointing out the obvious to his oblivious friend.
"Er..." stated Sirius as he turned to face his friend again, "I should rephrase what I said--"
The two of them turned in surprise to the door which opened to revealed Albus Dumbledore entering the room. Both Sirius and James automatically assumed their somewhat stiff posture that they used whenever seeing the headmaster, feeling as though they were back in Hogwarts. James, however, was twice as tense as Sirius was and three times as withdrawn and cautious.
"Ah, so good of you to stop by, Sirius," greeted the headmaster lightly, following his routine of greeting the closest of the two.
Sirius' stiff posture evaporated and he gave a mock salute, stating cheekily, "Any time, Albus."
Chuckling lightly at the antics of the younger man, Dumbledore then turned to the second young man in the room, a shadow quickly crossing his face before dissipating. James didn't miss it, though Dumbledore attempted to hide it with a nod.
"Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore in polite greeting.
"Professor," James mimicked, stopping himself from becoming too tense.
The elder wizard gave a smile at this. "It is good to see that you have returned," he said, polite as ever, "though I do not doubt Sirius had a part in it."
"You know me too well," said Sirius from behind the aged wizard.
James didn't say anything, allowing Dumbledore to walk over to his desk.
"You wish to join the Order," said Dumbledore as more of a statement than a question as he slowly lowered himself into his seat behind the desk. James remained standing, facing Dumbledore and knowing that Sirius was going to remain out of sight, being only a person of silent support for the moment.
"For the time being," replied James after a brief moment. Then with a slight frown and slightly narrowed eyes, he bluntly said, "You, of course, know that I am not the best person to recruit, considering past events."
The response was not what he had expected, however. "On the contrary, Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore, his tone still light and polite, "that is why you are the perfect recruit."
James' expression immediately darkened before he allowed his mouth to get away with a sarcastic, "Well, I'm glad you think this to be a good thing."
"James..." came Sirius' voice warningly.
Dumbledore waved off the warning. "It is all right, Sirius," he said before returning his gaze to James, his expression more serious than before. "Go on, Mr. Potter. You have my full attention."
"What is your definition of 'full attention,' Professor?" asked James, not bothering with going through tactfully long-winded explanations. "It seems to me that you will listen but will only say what you think is needed to say."
Dumbledore didn't say anything for a long moment, causing James to become more defensive, more likely to bring this conversation into an argument. Then, the professor spoke, "I see..."
"No, you don't," said James flatly before he could stop himself. He could feel Sirius' surprise at the statement but continued, his voice becoming louder as he spoke, "If you did, you would have realized that I needed to be told the other half of the story that day I got the amulet!"
Dumbledore was silent for a moment, letting James regain his composure from the outburst before saying, "What I meant to say, Mr. Potter, is that I see now what this has done." James looked away from the elder man as he then added with a serious undertone, "You may begrudge me because I chose to withhold this information from you. If you ever find the moment to forgive a flawed, old man, you know just where to find me. Now. You still wish to join the Order?"
Now it was James' turn to be silent. "Inactive for the time being."
"All right then," said Dumbledore, allowing the discussion to end just as there was a knock on the door. "The door is open, Minerva, Remus."
James turned to the door to see Sirius stepping out of the way slightly as the door opened and admitted both Professor Minerva McGonagall and Remus into the room. McGonagall quickly strode up toward Dumbledore's desk, "I do hope this is a wise choice, Albus."
Dumbledore's polite, cheerful smile reappeared instantly at this. "I think it is not up to me, Minerva," he said, looking to James.
McGonagall also looked to him and James began to wonder if he had done something wrong. "Well, Mr. Potter?" the stern witch demanded.
"Well what?" asked James before quickly adding, "Professor," when he received an ugly look from the Transfiguration professor.
"Mr. Lupin has requested you be tested--"
"Tested?" asked James confusedly.
McGonagall allowed the interruption to slide. "You have been out of contact with the Wizarding World for two years, from what Mr. Lupin tells me. If that is the case, you will need to take a test to see if you are still a capable wizard."
James looked at her in disbelief. "I thought the N.E.W.T.s were the last test I would ever have to take."
"It's a new thing the Minister put into effect," said Sirius, catching James' attention, before adding lowly, "because of Voldemort."
McGonagall involuntarily shuddered.
"Come now, Minerva," said Dumbledore kindly, "there's no need for that."
Exasperated, McGonagall looked to him. "I've told you more than once, Albus, that the name you speak so freely is not so commonly used anymore." --James recalled what Snape had said in Diagon Alley with grave understanding-- "I have heard stories of children sleeping with the lights on as if he will not come if they are lit!"
"They made him into the Boogeyman?" asked James with some skepticism.
McGonagall turned to him with a frown. "I beg your pardon?"
"Muggle reference," answered James quickly. "A story parents tell children to make them behave. 'The Boogeyman will come and take you in the night.'"
"I'm afraid," said Dumbledore with grave seriousness, "this is a more serious situation, for our version of 'the Boogeyman' is real and he does not care if they're child or adult, good or bad."
This statement would have been humorous...had the situation been different.
Author's Notes: Gah, this is a long chapter...and the next one's even longer! Eh...I really need to go back and fix up the first few chapters...but I'll do that after I finish the fic. Now...replies!
welshlili: Are you sure you're not already insane? Lol! I know I am ^.^" Anyway, here's more. I hope you enjoyed it! ^.^"
Itnikki: Heh...I assure you that he won't completely lose it in this fic *smirk* ^.^" Well, I'm glad you're enjoying the fic! Hope you enjoyed this part just as much!
shadow64: So do I! ^.^" Thanks for reviewing!
Reluxi: O.O! Blasphemy! You MUST review! It is your duty now that you have gotten a dedication! :P Just kidding ^.^" Shoot, I started this thing a whole year before OOTP came out ^.^" Heh, that's usually the case for me. I start things and never finish them. But I WILL finish this one! I swear I will! MWAHAHA! Don't worry, you'll see Lily soon. Promise. Promise! ^.^" I forget when though...next chapter! Oh, yes! That's right! Next chapter! ^.^" Yes! Only one more chapter to go before Lily shows up...*sighs* only eight more chapters until this fic is finished *sweatdrops* I bet I'm the only one counting down the chapters ^.^" I wanna start the sequal, darn it! ^.~!
Kel6: Alerts? Ooh...I feel special ^.^" Lol, don't worry, I mostly feel how Sirius is feeling too...I just want to hit the little bugger...-.-' Why do my characters get minds of their own somehow? Constructive or not, I appreciate the review ^.^" I hope you can have some more constructive things for me this time! Don't worry, he'll be sorted out...*coughs discreetly*
Leigh: *blushes* Aw, thanks! I'm always happy to hear that people enjoy my fics ^.^" Hope you like this chapter just as much!
tv-fan-06: ^.^" Well, he did come home! Hope you like this chapter too! ^.^"
lena-jade: Eh, got it backwards *shrugs* I got it right this time around ^.^" Heh heh...go me ^.^" Fav. quotes list? Really? *squeals* That is the BEST thing you can say! *glomps lena* THANK YOU! ^.^" I hope you liked this chapter just as much! ^.^"
littlegoober: Heh...another name I like ^.^" Yes, it has been hard to find really good stories lately *sighs* But I don't think mine's all that interesting...well, okay, so it may be interesting, but that's only because of all of the plot twists I put in it ^.^" Hee...^.^"
Ariana15: Hiiiiiiiiiiii-dee-hoooooooooo! ^.^" I suppose you must be very lucky if you really enjoyed that last chapter ^.^" Maybe you'll find yourself even more luckier discovering that I have yet again updated! Dun dun DUN! I know...I'm so evil to James *looks around the room* Yeah...I am evil *thinks about the sequal and winces* Eh, oh well ^.^" Pathos? What's that? *runs to her dictionary* Ah! I see! *tosses dictionary away* ^.^" Well, I'm glad that you're feeling that way, it proves that I have been achieving what I have been working for! Thank you for telling me this! ^.^" *reads the rest of the review and becomes teary-eyed* Oh, don't worry. I don't plan to stop writing. Thank you for the support and for not being upset that I broke my promise (you're not upset are you? *uneasy look*) Thanks for the wonderful review! I hope you love this chapter just as much as you have others! ^.~!
Author's Notes: I feel special! I feel special! I feel special! ^.^" Wanna know why? *looks around before leaning forward to whisper* Because...I HAVE UP TO CHAPTER SIXTEEN WRITTEN IN SCRIPT! WHOO! GO ME! *dances* Love me! Worship me! I sound like a character in this story! That rhymed! *stops dancing and bows* Gomen nasai to those who were hoping that I would keep my promise which said I would post that one Wednesday a while ago. Well...this is close enough, right? ^.^" It's long too! I promise! ^.^" Okay, to the fic!
Dedicated to: KEL6! She has the right idea! Let's beat some sense into James! ^.^"
Disclaimer: Bah! I'm never doing this again, do you hear me! -.- JKR owns them....-.-' That hurt SO much to say *sobs*
(Finished Running)
"Now I'm beginning to think you're putting it off."
James glanced to Neil, who watched the bespectacled young man pace back and forth in the living room of his apartment. To say James was stressed out would be an understatement...
...a very large understatement.
"I have not," muttered the pacing wizard, who then ran a hand through his unruly hair while blowing a sigh and collapsing in an chair. "Merlin, I can't do this."
He couldn't do it. It had already been almost four months since Sirius had last come and it was only now that James had decided he had waited long enough. At least, that is what he tried to convince himself.
Neil just watched him with mild humor before shaking his head. "I can't believe I've fallen into The Twilight Zone," he said as he watched James stand and then go over to the closet for a moment. "Why am I even here?"
James turned to him. "Because I need to have someone to keep me from doing anything stupid," he answered simply before turning back around and taking a deep breath as he watched the closet. "Okay. Time to contact Sirius."
Just as Sirius had told him, he had known how to contact his old friend the whole time. The problem was--as it had always been--James had kept forgetting about the thing during the past few months. Whenever it came to mind, however, he had been too indecisive to go into his old trunk and get it.
That was why he had Neil around.
"How?" asked Neil as he pulled it out of his trunk before raising it for his friend to see. Neil gave him a curious look. "What is that?"
"Two-way mirror," answered James as he then turned the mirror to him to study it. "I've forgotten I had this thing until Sirius reminded me."
"Ah..." said Neil intelligently. "Like a telephone?"
"More like something out of Star Trek," muttered James distractedly as he walked over to the chair again to sit down.
Neil shook his head. "You watch too much TV."
"Weren't you the one," James began as he turned the mirror around slightly, "babbling about The Twilight Zone?"
"Twilight Zone's a classic."
"Whatever," muttered James again before he turned it around again and frowned at his reflection. "I forget how to use this thing."
"Why don't you just call him?" Neil suggested as if it was a simple idea that should have brought up earlier.
James muttered a negative. "I doubt Sirius knows how to use a telephone," he replied as he turned the mirror away from him for a second and holding it at arm's length from himself. "He's a Pureblood, afterall."
"...right," Neil once again stated intelligently.
James then ignored Neil as he turned the mirror toward himself again and turned the small circle to the right a few times. He then frowned and spoke into the mirror, "Sirius Black."
Nothing.
His brow furrowed and he turned it to the left. "Sirius!" he hissed into the mirror before pausing, waiting. "Sirius!"
There! Something was happening in the mirror. The glass was becoming a murky color that indicated that the call had been received.
"Sirius!" James called once more for good measure.
He heard his voice before he could see him. "You sure know how to pick a time to remember these things!" a clearly annoyed Sirius whispered in the mirror, his face slowly coming into focus.
"Why?" asked James confusedly. "What's happening?"
"Oh, nothing," said Sirius lightly. "Lily just happened to come over along with Ara and--"
"Who?"
"Arabella," reiterated Sirius. "The younger one, mind."
"What?" asked James, confused. "Is there two of them?"
"Ara was named after her Squib aunt--"
"Whatever," interrupted James before Sirius could go into an in-depth explanation. "Sirius...I think I'm ready."
Sirius stared at him in disbelief. "Now?" he demanded, startled.
"Well," said James slowly, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck as his other hand held up the mirror, "not now now. I think I'll go back to London the Muggle way and meet you at...King's Cross?"
"Nine and three-quarters?"
"Sure thing."
Sirius blew a sigh. "Good thing it's almost March," he muttered to himself before shaking his head and looking back to James. "When do you think you should arrive?"
"In about two days," James answered certainly.
Sirius nodded. "See you then," he said before pausing, "Oh, and a late happy birthday to you."
A small smile came to James' face at that as he nodded. "You too, Sirius."
Once again, Sirius nodded before vanishing completely from view. James held the mirror for a moment longer before lowering it and blowing a relieved sigh. That bridge had been crossed...
"You were right," said Neil, catching James' attention. "That was like Star Trek."
James didn't say anything as he mused over what the elder man had said before shaking his head and standing. "Sorry I'm just going to up and leave, but--"
"You would have been gone if you were 'up and leaving,' James," interrupted Neil with an eye roll.
"Just the same," said James as he moved toward the broken coffee table before he looked around. "I'd better start packing."
"Need help?" offered Neil, attempting to stand.
"No," said James, pulling out his wand, "I should be fine."
He aimed his wand at the books underneath the coffee table for a second before aiming at the table itself. "Wingardium Leviosa." The table slowly rose a few feet from the ground before James grabbed some of his books in his free hand.
"Why are you packing books?" asked Neil, confused as he sat back in the couch, fascinated by this display.
"My school books," answered James as he slowly lowered the table to the ground before muttering a 'Finite Incantium' and turning to put the last of the books in the chair behind him, where he had been placing the books. "I need to brush up a bit on my curses and such."
Once again, he went to the closet. This time, however, he came back to the middle of the room with a floating trunk following him.
"Oh..." said Neil slowly in reply to what his friend had last said. "What's that?"
"My old trunk," answered James before lowering it and examining it with a disappointed sigh. "My, this is a sad sight. Reparo." The trunk did a feeble little jerk as the large holes in the sides and broken hinges magically fixed themselves.
James stared at it for a moment before shrugging. "Good enough."
When he went back toward the closet for the third time Neil's curiosity was in need of being satisfy. "Now what are you doing?"
"Getting my broom!" called James from his place inside the now-cleaner closet. "Finite Incantium--ow!"
"Broom?" questioned Neil, confused. "You mean flying brooms?" He looked to James, who came out of the closet, rubbing his head with one hand and holding his broom in the other. "I thought that was witches."
Tossing the large stick to the ground, James turned to Neil with an impatient look. "What'd you think wizards were? We're only the male gender of the Magical race."
"...right," was once again the only thing intelligent Neil could say.
"Scorgify!" The cobweb-covered broom suddenly became as clean as it had been before it had been stuck up in the closet. "I hope Jess won't say anything," said James with some worry, as though he had just remembered.
"'Bout you leaving?" asked Neil. "Don't worry, I'll tell her you went back home."
"All right," said James, slightly uncertainly as he paced the living room, placing a hand on the island for a minute. "Let's see..." He then noticed something and turned to it, taking his hand from the island. "Ah! Accio box!"
A small box zipped into James' hands neatly, though it came close to hitting Neil. "Watch it! That's my head, ya know!"
"All right," said James once again, ignoring Neil indignant presence as he scanned the room once again. "Am I forgetting anything?"
"Your stick?" offered Neil uncertainly.
James paused. "Stick? You mean wand?" His brow furrowed. "But it's--" He looked to his right hand and noticed the wand he had had for years was gone. "Where is it?"
Neil gave him a confused look. "You put it on the island, remember?"
James looked to the island and, sure enough, it was there, sitting innocently. "But that--" He stopped himself, puzzled as he looked from the box to the wand in confusion. "Did I...?"
"Did you what?"
For a moment, James considered the possibility before he shook his head. "Never mind," he said, walking over to the trunk and putting all of the books, the box, and the broom inside before going to the island and retrieving his wand. He then closed his trunk and announced, "I have to get going."
"You're leaving today?" demanded Neil in disbelief.
"I only said two days because I knew I'd need some time in London to myself before meeting up with Sirius," James explained, putting a locking charm on his trunk before attempting another Repairing Charm.
"Smart," said Neil thoughtfully before he stood with a small grunt, facing James. "So...I guess I'll be seeing you."
James gave him a half-hearted smile. He doubted he'd see Neil again. "Sure," he agreed before taking hold of the handle on the end of his trunk and pulling it out of the chair.
Neil shifted slightly. "James?" he asked, gaining his friend's attention once again. "Don't hesitate to call if you need help from someone other than your magical friends. I'm always willing to help you, man."
James closed his eyes with a sigh. He wouldn't contact Neil, he knew. Not when the situation was how it was. "Thanks, Neil," he said sincerely, however. "That really means a lot."
Neil watched him for a second before huffing. "Well, get going then," he said suddenly, startling James slightly. "Time's a-wastin'!"
James watched him for a minute before nodding, a slight smile on his face. "Sure thing," he said as he dragged his trunk to the door, which he then opened and exited. "See you, Neil!"
Just as James had thought, it only took most of a day to get to London. However, jet lag was the reason he took a room at the Leaky Cauldron when it was around noon; the young keeper Tom being very helpful in that department. "Room 11 with the brass numbers," he had told him as soon as he had asked for a room.
A few hours later, James then found himself back in a place he hadn't been to in what seemed like ages.
Diagon Alley.
As he walked down the cobblestone path that separated the many shops, James was the sight for all witches and wizards to stop and gock at quite a few of them had never seen how the Muggles dressed, let alone how they dressed in the States. He ignored them, however, as he quickly made his way to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.
Tli-ling!
No one came in answer to the bell's sounding.
"Madam Malkin?" called James, knowing that the elder witch was somewhere within the establishment.
Sure enough, a head poked into the room from the back. "Yes?" the head questioned before noticing him. "Ah!" An elder witch with greying hair stepped out from behind the curtain she had been behind, measuring tools and hemming pins all over her form. One of the tapes hissed at James when she stopped in front of him. "Can I help you, Sir?"
She slapped the hissing measuring tape.
"Yes," said James, eyeing the now-hiding measuring tape, "I need some robes. Casual and formal, if you don't mind."
"Custom made, I'm guessing," she said, immediately pulling out the once-hissing measuring tape while pushing James' arms perpendicular to his body.
"Study Divination?" James asked with some humor.
"Heavens no," she answered as she placed the measuring tape onto his shoulders. "Astrology."
"Ah." The tape stretched itself from James' right wrist to his left wrist before shrinking itself into the precise measurement. With that done, she did the same with his upper body and waist.
He patiently waited as she did this, taking in the view of the street from the shop window. Then...
He blinked.
"Madam Malkin? Is that Severus Snape coming this way?" he asked, causing the elder witch to halt her measuring to peer over his shoulder and out into the street. Now that the person headed toward the shop was closer, James could see that it was indeed Snape.
"What does the infernal man want now?" muttered Madam Malkin as she collected the tape that was hissing from James' waist and headed toward the shop's door as it opened.
Tli-ling!
"Yes, Severus?" she asked exasperatedly.
Snape rose an eyebrow at her. "A cheery welcome if I ever heard one," he said coolly before scanning the shop for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as they fell on James. He then turned back to Madam Malkin with a neutral expression as he said, "I am in need of several of those robes I was looking through the other day."
"As they are?" asked Madam Malkin.
"Untouched."
"One moment then," the elder witch said before hurrying behind the curtain.
For a long moment, there was a silence in the shop. Neither of the men looked to one another or seemed to acknowledge one another.
Then one spoke, "So the prodigal son returns." James' shoulders tensed at those words as he looked to Snape, who was still watching the curtain impatiently with his arms crossed. Then the paler man looked to his old enemy, meeting his gaze evenly. "I see the passage of time has done little for you, Potter."
James snorted, looking away out the window. "Jealous of my good looks?"
"Hardly," said Snape who, James noticed, gave his Muggle clothing a distasteful look. "I, at least, remained where I am needed."
James glared at him. "Low blow, Snape."
"But perfectly observant and true, is it not?" James gave no answer. "I suppose it hardly makes a difference whether you stayed or not. The Dark Lord would still be where he is today."
"Afraid to use his name, Snape?" questioned James scathingly.
"Actually," said Snape smoothly, "I do not say his name in public as it creates...quite a stir."
James bowed his head in thought, closing his eyes as he snorted ruefully. "I see. Cowardly, using his name to instill fear among the masses."
"Indeed," said Snape dryly. "A strategy one might think him to use."
James looked to him with a curious look. "That's an odd thing to happen, you agreeing with me."
"Stranger things have happened, Potter," was all Snape said about that matter. "Have you figured out that prophecy of yours?"
"Prophecy?" asked James.
Snape glanced to him as he would glance at a simpleton. "Two of two."
"Oh..." said James, looking away as he remembered his present situation. "...yes, I believe I've gotten the most of it."
Snape nodded and then looked back to the curtain, continuing his impatient wait. James was surprised when he then said, "Then you know whom to chose."
"How much do you--" He never got to finish his question as Madam Malkin came in with her arms full of robes which she set down on a counter top.
"This enough, Severus?" she asked, neatly stacking the pile and then picking them up to hand over to the pale man.
"Plenty," he said, merely setting the pile back onto the counter as Madam Malkin took her place behind the counter quickly. "How much was it?"
"Thirty-five Galleons for the whole lot."
James watched as Snape's mouth went into a thin line as he pulled out a pouch from his robes. "Surprising how expensive things are becoming," he said as he pulled out several golden coins at a time. "I suppose the Muggles aren't the only ones with inflation."
Madam Malkin sniffed as she quickly slid the coins to herself. "These are specially made, just so you know. The cloth used and the patterns sown ensure--"
"Don't bore me with the details," interrupted Snape as he pulled out the last of the amount of coins, placing them before her and closing the pouch sharply. "You have already explained it once."
"You be sure to keep your comments to yourself then," said the witch haughtily, quickly snatching the coins off of the counter top.
"As you wish," said the wizard with cold courtesy. "Good day to you, Madam." He picked up the pile of robes and started to head out, only nodding once sharply and saying, "Potter," before he walked out the door, allowing it to slam behind him.
TLING!
"Infuriating man," said Madam Malkin as she sped from behind the counter to go to the door, pressing against the glass for a moment while looking out to the street before moving back to James, "but I suppose he has his reasons. How many of these will you be wanting?"
"Can I help you?" one of the men at the station asked him as he stood near platforms nine and ten.
"Ah, no," he answered politely. "I'm waiting for someone, actually."
"Ah," said the man before tipping his hat. "Good day then."
James blew a sigh as he left. Even though he had lived around Muggles for two years, he still wasn't sure how to act around them half of the time.
He had been waiting at King Cross Station for nearly fifteen minutes. Waiting for Sirius. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. This went beyond nervousness.
He was afraid.
"Make it a little harder to spot you, why don't you." James spun around to see Sirius standing there in Muggle clothing. Blue jean pants, a white T-shirt, and...were those sunglasses?
A bit of a smile appeared on James' face at this sight. "Glad you could make it, Sirius," he said, hands still in his jacket pockets.
"Mm..." hummed Sirius distantly as he looked around the train station. "Well, I had wanted to sleep in this morning." He then looked to James and his face fell into one of disappointment as he took off his sunglasses. "Come on, James. We're not strangers."
James paused for a moment before stepping toward his friend--
--to be enveloped in a tight embrace, Sirius breathing heavily as if he near tears with what could be joy.
Sirius then pulled away, keeping James at arm's length as he smiled largely. "Merlin, James..." he said before narrowing his eyes and losing the smile, "if you ever do that again, I will kill you myself!"
It would have been funny if it hadn't been so serious.
"I'm sorry, Sirius," sighed James, looking away from his friend. "It shouldn't have taken me this long--"
Sirius studied him for a moment before shaking his head. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said before taking a long stride to place himself beside his friend, one arm around the other man's shoulders. "You're here now. That's what's important."
James looked to him uncertainly. "I suppose so," he agreed hesitantly before studying the other man. "You know...I didn't comment before but I think your hair looks much better short."
Sirius snorted in good humor. "What are you? The Fashion King?" he asked before taking his arm off of James' shoulder and leading the way out of the station.
"Sirius?" asked James curiously as he followed. "About that Order--"
"We'll talk about that later," said Sirius lowly before glancing at the crowd with his eyes. "These days, you can't even trust that the Muggles are oblivious to our conversations."
James also looked amongst the crowd, not being so inconspicuous as he did so. Several young women and elder men glanced his way, nodding in salutations or just watching him walk passed. It was enough to convince him that Sirius' words rang true.
"All right," he asked as they walked out into the city. "Where are we going?"
Sirius glanced his way before leading him to an alley. "Moony's. He got a cabin just outside of Sherwood," he answered, pulling out a portkey.
"Interesting," said James as he glanced at the portkey. "Last week was it, right?"
"Saturday," answered Sirius with a nod before he smiled. "It was one of the easiest full moon's, I'll say that much."
James smiled back before reaching out to touch the portkey that would take him to his friends.
They landed just inside of a clearing of trees where, from a distance, a small, wooden cabin with smoke rising from the top could be seen. It was quaint and not at all extravagant, but it looked homey. Sirius immediately put the portkey into his pocket and started to walk toward the cabin, a few leaves and twigs crunching under his shoes. James followed hesitantly behind him.
When they reached the door, Sirius carefully placed the sunglasses back onto his face and looked to James with a wicked grin before knocking three times in rapid sessions.
There was a long pause...
Sirius pounded on the door over and over.
"One moment. One moment!" exclaimed a voice from inside; a more mature voice of Remus Lupin.
"Damn it all," swore the werewolf as the sounds of locks coming undone came. "If that's you, Sirius, I'm going to--"
The door opened.
"Even if I come bearing gifts?" questioned Sirius cheekily as Remus peered out the door, freezing at the sight of who was standing beside the one he had been planning to curse.
"James?" he asked in disbelief.
"Eh..." said James uncertainly before giving a sad excuse for a smile. "Hello, Moony."
Remus, however, only continued to stare at him. "Prongs, you--" He stopped himself, shaking his head and laughing lightly. "I can't believe it!" he shouted before quickly bringing James into a bone-crushing embrace. "James, it's so good to have you back here!"
James pushed away the thought that Remus wasn't exactly controlling his strength as he patted his friend on the back, saying, "It feels good to be back, Remus."
Remus then released him to let him speak, knowing that he needed to say this.
James looked at him, uncertain what to say. "I'm sorry I left, but..." He trailed off as he shook his head. "Let's put that behind us, shall we? We shoul--" He stopped to glance behind his werewolf friend. "Is that Peter I hear?"
"Allow me," said Sirius, stepping inside before Remus could say anything. James looked slightly puzzled as Remus sighed and lead the way in just as Sirius started to shout, "Oy! Wormtail! I've got a surprise for you!"
There was a pause.
"I'm not falling for that old trick! You bring the 'surprise' in here or I'm not budging!"
Sirius blinked in surprise. "That was unusually bright of him."
"Knock it off, Padfoot," said Remus as he pushed by Sirius. "Peter? It's fine to come out. Padfoot has been leashed."
"...I hate you..." was all Sirius could say.
There was the sound of someone getting up and walking over as Peter came toward where the trio stood. "What then--" he began to ask as he walked through the doorway only to stop himself as he spotted James.
"J-J-J-James?" he stammered in disbelief.
"Hallo, Peter," greeted James with some nervousness, though less the amount he felt when speaking to Sirius or Remus. "Fine weather we're having, wouldn't you say?"
"I-I-I--" Peter stopped his stuttering quickly to joyfully answer, "It is indeed! It's good to see you again, James." He paused for a moment, eyes narrowing confusedly. "But where have you been? Sirius hasn't told us anything--"
"Now that's not true!" Sirius immediately objected only to gain a pointed look from Remus. "...well...maybe it is."
James rubbed his neck a little when the attention went back to him. "I don't rightly want to say," he said slowly, avoiding everyone's eyes, "but I'll say this much." He looked up with a ironic look. "Muggles are very...creative people."
"I'll second that!" said Sirius quickly.
Remus rose a curious eyebrow. "Muggles, eh? So I take it that you became a Muggle hobo?"
"No!" exclaimed James.
"He's lying," said Sirius with a snort. "He was damn-right broke, that's what he was!"
"Very funny," said James with bland humor.
"Well," said Remus, quite suddenly, "I think it's about time for supper. Excuse me."
As Remus exited the room, Peter watching him go before looking back to the other two men left in the room. "I was in the middle of writing a--erm--letter..." he said before pausing and saying a, "Right," as he exited the room.
"...they're upset," said James bluntly.
"Oh, no," said Sirius mock reassuringly. "Peter's always happy to have his childhood hero come back to him--"
James frowned at him. "You're always so negative to him."
Sirius shrugged. "He reminds me of one of my mum's house elves," he simply said.
"Right" --James shook his head-- "but I was talking more about Remus."
Sirius paused. "...Moony's had it rough lately. No matter his education, they can't see past the fact that he's a werewolf."
"I'll never understand these ridiculous prejudices," said James with disgust.
Again Sirius shrugged before gaining a serious look. "Take it from me, James: People. Don't. Care. They only care about keeping their glass-bubbled lives safe and normal." He glanced into the doorway where Remus and Peter had exited. "Werewolves aren't 'normal' to wizards, no matter what you say."
"Not everyone can be like that," objected James before Sirius turned back to him.
"Oh, can't they?" asked the taller man cynically. "Can't they, James? I didn't tell you the whole truth about my family because I didn't want to be 'abnormal.' You did the same thing by hiding that you were the Heir of Gryffindor."
James hesitated. "...I hadn't thought of that..."
Sirius snorted. "That should be your personal quote, you know."
James sighed, ignoring the underlying insult. "I guess I need to talk to Remus." Sirius nodded. "Later." Sirius frowned. "I need..." James looked to Sirius. "I need to think for a while."
"You're sure that's safe?" asked Sirius dryly.
"Seriously, Sirius."
Sirius paused before sighing. "All right. I suppose we'll see each other later then."
"Yeah," agreed James with a nod. "I'll be back."
"I'm sorry I haven't come here until now..." A sigh. "I'm just a pathetic excuse for a person, a friend...and a son." James didn't brush away the unruly hair that was being tossed by the cool wind as he watched the slab of stone that marked the grave which had the name Jessica Potter inscribed on it.
For a moment, he just stood there, reading the head stone over and over as if hoping it would change, that the name would change into another. When this didn't occur, he sighed and sat himself onto the grass, one leg under his other leg which has its knee in the air. He wrapped his arms around that leg and placed his chin atop his knee, closing his eyes.
When he spoke, he barely realized that there was no one there to answer him, that he was alone with his questions and never getting the answers. "Remembering...all of the times in the past...when you would give me a look you thought I hadn't noticed...that old, weary look lined with sadness and joy at the same time...I can't believe I never asked, never thought there would be a" --he opened his eyes again to look at the head stone once more, that cold reminder that the one person he wanted answers from couldn't give them-- "reason to it all..."
He closed his eyes again. "I don't even know why I'm here, talking to a grave," he muttered with some frustration. "You probably can't even hear me, wherever you are. Most likely you're in Heaven, where all of your troubles and sins can't follow you..."
He opened his eyes and lifted his chin from his knee for a moment to adjust his seating, bringing his knees close to his chest and wrapping his arms around them both. "But me..." He bowed his head. "If were to die...where would I belong? Heaven because I haven't strayed down the Dark Path? Or Hell because of...his sins?
"Where do I belong now? Sirius tells me to join with him and the others in an Order, but is that where I belong?" He raised his head, almost expecting an answer, but sadly, only saw the silent head stone staring back at him.
At first he felt a pang of sadness enter his heart, but then the frustration and anger overtook that feeling and he began to shake with the harsh emotions.
"...why? Why did you have to go when there were so many things that I needed to have an answer to?" he demanded, his voice raising when the head stone revealed nothing. "Why, when dark questions began to pour out of their holdings? Why? Why, if you knew what I was, did you..." He trailed off, his voice becoming weaker. "...keep me? I don't understand..."
This time, he hadn't expected an answer. "In a time of peace, one does not believe the children to be capable of evil."
James turned in surprise to see an elder man standing behind and to the right of him. "Dad!" he exclaimed, quickly releasing and uncurling his legs as he stood. "What're you doing here?"
Edward Potter glanced at him before looking back to the head stone. "I could ask the same for you."
James uncomfortably crossed his arms, keeping his jacket close as cool winds swept across the area. "...I came home."
"But it isn't enough, is it?" James looked to Edward, surprised. "To help fight your inner demons?"
At that, James gave a snort. "Demons?" he asked cynically as he looked away to the ground. "More like the Devil himself."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, James," said Edward before adding with a sigh, "I'm sorry that when I see you for the first time in two years, it isn't in the best of locations."
"The location's fine," said James shortly before looking to Edward again. "Judging by how you responded to my questions...I take it that you already knew."
Edward sighed. "I'm sorry, James...it was never our intention to hurt you. Yes, I do know about all of this. I've known since a few weeks before you were born."
He closed his eyes in remembrance. "Your mother and I were just coming back from visiting some friends when she saw the raven on the window sill in the living room. When she read the letter and burst into tears, I went to comfort her only to have her confess everything about she and Tom Riddle."
"Why then?" asked James, catching Edward's attention. "Why didn't you do anything, knowing that?"
"James," said Edward with a weary tone, "one of the things that you need to know is that your mother and I loved each other. I still love her now and will until the end of time. Yes, I was shocked to hear how her ex-husband was studying the Dark Arts. I was mortified at the idea of what would happen if Riddle would have found out about Jessica's condition...
"Then...when your mother confessed how afraid she was that you would be stolen away from her, I remembered that though you were a part of Riddle...you were a part of Jessica. I knew then, if ever, that the sins of the father should never be the sins of the children."
James looked away again. "...I see..."
"James." The younger man looked up to his adoptive father to see him watching him with a serious expression. "I want you to know that since you were born, I have been hoping and praying for you to become how you are now: a better man than Riddle. Riddle chose his path and you were given the same choices, only you did the right thing."
James was surprised to feel something fall onto his shoulder. Looking down, he saw that it was his father's hand. He looked back up to the elder man's face with some puzzlement.
"I am," began Edward Potter with conviction, "and will always be proud of you, Son. Even after everything's said and done, you are still my son and I will always love you as such."
Then, before James could reply, he was--for the third time in that day--brought into a crushing embrace. For the first time, however, he felt a sense of closure from this action.
And this time when his father spoke the same words his friend had said before, he listened. "It doesn't matter who's blood you have in you. You're still you and nothing can ever change that."
Something pricked at his eyes but he forced it back. "Thanks...Dad," he said as they pulled away. "I need to hear...all of that."
"It's all right to be afraid, to be sad, James," said his dad lightly. "Those aren't weaknesses. Those feelings are what make you stronger in the end. Don't rely on a mask. Remember that and never forget..."
James nodded, understanding. "I'll try," he said before sighing and looking toward the head stone once more. "I just wish things were easier..."
"Who doesn't?" asked Edward with some laughter, lightening the atmosphere somewhat, before he looked to James. "I must say I was beginning to doubt Sirius would ever find you."
James snorted again. "Never doubt Sirius," he said with a small amount of sarcasm. "He seems to have a way with doing the impossible."
A long silence came upon them in which both men thought about the events of the past and what was to come in the future. It was a long time before either of them could bring up the courage to break the silence.
"...Dad?" asked James, being the one to break the silence. "Do you know about this Order Sirius has told me about?"
Edward looked to him and shook his head. "I'm sorry to say I haven't." James accepted this answer with a bit of a sigh before looking toward the ground again just before he felt a hand fall onto his shoulder, making him look up once more. "I think you should go back to your friends, James," said Edward softly.
James frowned, turning to him again. "What about you?"
Edward lifted his hand from James' shoulder to wave the question off. "I came here for a reason," he said simply before assuring James with a bit of a smile, "Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself even in times like these."
The familiar feeling of being indecisive haunted James as he nodded, granting the elder man's request. "Be careful," he said before quickly embracing Edward once more.
"I will be."
"So Sirius told you about the Order."
James looked to Remus, who was sitting in a rather ragged old armchair and drinking some tea as the conversation continued. "Yes, but...I don't know if I could..." James trailed off.
Peter picked up the thread of conversation with, "Why? Shouldn't you want to be involved as you're the Heir of Gryffindor?"
Sirius jerked his head to Peter with some surprise. "When--"
James shook his head, interrupting Sirius' question. "It's more complicated than that now," he said, keeping his eyes adverted as he then said, "I'd rather not say how, either."
"Ah," said Remus mildly, lowering his drink for a moment before giving James a considering look. "I think you should follow your feelings on this matter."
"Wait," said Sirius, trying to break into the conversation once again. "I'm curious--"
"'Use the Force, Luke.' How typical," muttered James sourly.
"In any case," said Remus as he placed his drink on an old table near the armchair he was sitting in, "I think you should join. You can be an inactive member until you finally decide--"
"But that means you won't be involved in anything until then," said Peter, interrupting Remus who nodded.
Sirius rolled his eyes at the fact that he was being ignored as James answered, "...I suppose that's all I can do for now."
"Good," said Remus, standing. "I'll inform Albus--"
"Dumbledore?" exclaimed James, outraged, before spinning toward Sirius. "Sirius--!"
Sirius rolled his eyes once more before interrupting, "I didn't say you were joining him, James. You're joining us. Remus, Peter, me, Ara, Lily--"
"Lily?" shouted James before pointing an accusing finger at Sirius. "This is the last time I take your word for something, Sirius!"
"Love you, too, James."
Remus looked confusedly between the two of them. "Something wrong between you and Albus, James?" he asked.
James paused for a moment, looking to Sirius and then to Peter and then finally Remus before he looked away once more, muttering, "...you can say that."
Sirius explained, "Long story short: James can hold grudges!"
"This isn't funny, Sirius," said James sourly.
"Of course it isn't," said Sirius seriously. "James, Dumbledore is our best chance against Voldemort. He's the only man that Voldemort is afraid of--"
"More like he knows Dumbledore can be as powerful, if not more so--" interrupted Remus only to be interrupted in turn by Sirius.
"In any case, if Dumbledore knows your situation, then he can help!"
This was not the best move on Sirius' part as James' temper flared with those words. "Why didn't he help sooner, Sirius? That's the whole reason--!"
"Don't start an argument about that here," interrupted Sirius lowly, eyes narrowed, "unless you want to be more open to everyone here, James."
James looked around the room once more before looking to Sirius, glaring at him for trapping him like that. He then stood and declared, "I need some air," as he walked out of the room before pausing as he could hear that they were continuing to speak.
"Sirius," he could hear Remus saying from the room, "there's a little thing called tact that you should know of--"
A small pause that could have included a small huff from Sirius before he said, "Tact wasn't how I got him to come back. What he needs to understand is that things are how they are. We can't change them, so we need to live with them."
"About that--" Remus began to say as James began to head toward the door leading outside of the cabin, still very much angered by what Sirius was saying.
"Don't even start..." Sirius' voice faded as he exited the cabin and entered the forest.
It was a long while until James and Sirius could talk civilly to one another, but as soon as that day came, Remus informed everyone that James was to go to Hogwarts to see Dumbledore about joining the Order.
"So how do we do this?" asked James when Remus explained this.
"Simple enough," said the werewolf. "Floo powder. I'll apparate to Hogsmeade--"
"What for?" asked Sirius, his curiosity piqued.
"I need to speak with a professor," answered Remus simply.
"Oh," said Sirius as Remus then continued, "Peter is busy with something that has to do with the Order, so he won't be coming--"
"But I'll be right with you, Prongs," said Sirius cheekily.
"...that's supposed to reassure me, right?" asked James cautiously leaning away from Sirius.
"I'm always a joke to you, aren't I--?"
"Cut it out, you two," interrupted Remus exasperatedly before they went quiet. "Now. You need to get going."
"Right," said James with a nod, knowing they would all wait for him to make the first move. After a period of time, he finally gave a sigh and stood from the old armchair to walk over to the fireplace where a small, homey fire was currently sitting. Sirius then followed his example while Remus held out a small pouch.
Looking from the pouch to Remus, James hesitated for a moment. Truthfully, he wasn't looking forward to this meeting with Dumbledore, but he knew that his friends would be with him throughout the whole meeting and that made things slightly better...
...so he quickly grabbed a sizable amount of Floo powder and tossed it into the flames, before stating clearly, "Dumbledore's office."
"He redecorated," commented Sirius as he brushed himself off, stepping away from the fireplace. The trip had been short but dizzying and, quite frankly, was something that James wasn't looking forward to experiencing again. He never liked going by Floo anyway...
Just as Sirius had said, the headmaster's office was much different than it had been the last time he had seen it over two years ago. Instead of there being a large mess of an assortment of magical items lying about, the round room was somewhat more organized, if not a bit less unique. The desk where the old headmaster would sit behind was not in as good of a shape as the room, however, as it was covered with parchment and quills and inks. This puzzled James greatly but he pushed the thought aside and turned to Sirius curiously, "He knows we're coming, right?"
Sirius, who had been looking around the room some, stopped under the portrait of a particularly harsh-looking wizard to face James. "You know Dumbledore," he said pleasantly, turning around to study the portrait, his hands behind his back, "not a thing in Hogwarts that he doesn't know about."
"Hopefully not or he has us for breaking several laws," said James dryly, pointing out the obvious to his oblivious friend.
"Er..." stated Sirius as he turned to face his friend again, "I should rephrase what I said--"
The two of them turned in surprise to the door which opened to revealed Albus Dumbledore entering the room. Both Sirius and James automatically assumed their somewhat stiff posture that they used whenever seeing the headmaster, feeling as though they were back in Hogwarts. James, however, was twice as tense as Sirius was and three times as withdrawn and cautious.
"Ah, so good of you to stop by, Sirius," greeted the headmaster lightly, following his routine of greeting the closest of the two.
Sirius' stiff posture evaporated and he gave a mock salute, stating cheekily, "Any time, Albus."
Chuckling lightly at the antics of the younger man, Dumbledore then turned to the second young man in the room, a shadow quickly crossing his face before dissipating. James didn't miss it, though Dumbledore attempted to hide it with a nod.
"Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore in polite greeting.
"Professor," James mimicked, stopping himself from becoming too tense.
The elder wizard gave a smile at this. "It is good to see that you have returned," he said, polite as ever, "though I do not doubt Sirius had a part in it."
"You know me too well," said Sirius from behind the aged wizard.
James didn't say anything, allowing Dumbledore to walk over to his desk.
"You wish to join the Order," said Dumbledore as more of a statement than a question as he slowly lowered himself into his seat behind the desk. James remained standing, facing Dumbledore and knowing that Sirius was going to remain out of sight, being only a person of silent support for the moment.
"For the time being," replied James after a brief moment. Then with a slight frown and slightly narrowed eyes, he bluntly said, "You, of course, know that I am not the best person to recruit, considering past events."
The response was not what he had expected, however. "On the contrary, Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore, his tone still light and polite, "that is why you are the perfect recruit."
James' expression immediately darkened before he allowed his mouth to get away with a sarcastic, "Well, I'm glad you think this to be a good thing."
"James..." came Sirius' voice warningly.
Dumbledore waved off the warning. "It is all right, Sirius," he said before returning his gaze to James, his expression more serious than before. "Go on, Mr. Potter. You have my full attention."
"What is your definition of 'full attention,' Professor?" asked James, not bothering with going through tactfully long-winded explanations. "It seems to me that you will listen but will only say what you think is needed to say."
Dumbledore didn't say anything for a long moment, causing James to become more defensive, more likely to bring this conversation into an argument. Then, the professor spoke, "I see..."
"No, you don't," said James flatly before he could stop himself. He could feel Sirius' surprise at the statement but continued, his voice becoming louder as he spoke, "If you did, you would have realized that I needed to be told the other half of the story that day I got the amulet!"
Dumbledore was silent for a moment, letting James regain his composure from the outburst before saying, "What I meant to say, Mr. Potter, is that I see now what this has done." James looked away from the elder man as he then added with a serious undertone, "You may begrudge me because I chose to withhold this information from you. If you ever find the moment to forgive a flawed, old man, you know just where to find me. Now. You still wish to join the Order?"
Now it was James' turn to be silent. "Inactive for the time being."
"All right then," said Dumbledore, allowing the discussion to end just as there was a knock on the door. "The door is open, Minerva, Remus."
James turned to the door to see Sirius stepping out of the way slightly as the door opened and admitted both Professor Minerva McGonagall and Remus into the room. McGonagall quickly strode up toward Dumbledore's desk, "I do hope this is a wise choice, Albus."
Dumbledore's polite, cheerful smile reappeared instantly at this. "I think it is not up to me, Minerva," he said, looking to James.
McGonagall also looked to him and James began to wonder if he had done something wrong. "Well, Mr. Potter?" the stern witch demanded.
"Well what?" asked James before quickly adding, "Professor," when he received an ugly look from the Transfiguration professor.
"Mr. Lupin has requested you be tested--"
"Tested?" asked James confusedly.
McGonagall allowed the interruption to slide. "You have been out of contact with the Wizarding World for two years, from what Mr. Lupin tells me. If that is the case, you will need to take a test to see if you are still a capable wizard."
James looked at her in disbelief. "I thought the N.E.W.T.s were the last test I would ever have to take."
"It's a new thing the Minister put into effect," said Sirius, catching James' attention, before adding lowly, "because of Voldemort."
McGonagall involuntarily shuddered.
"Come now, Minerva," said Dumbledore kindly, "there's no need for that."
Exasperated, McGonagall looked to him. "I've told you more than once, Albus, that the name you speak so freely is not so commonly used anymore." --James recalled what Snape had said in Diagon Alley with grave understanding-- "I have heard stories of children sleeping with the lights on as if he will not come if they are lit!"
"They made him into the Boogeyman?" asked James with some skepticism.
McGonagall turned to him with a frown. "I beg your pardon?"
"Muggle reference," answered James quickly. "A story parents tell children to make them behave. 'The Boogeyman will come and take you in the night.'"
"I'm afraid," said Dumbledore with grave seriousness, "this is a more serious situation, for our version of 'the Boogeyman' is real and he does not care if they're child or adult, good or bad."
This statement would have been humorous...had the situation been different.
Author's Notes: Gah, this is a long chapter...and the next one's even longer! Eh...I really need to go back and fix up the first few chapters...but I'll do that after I finish the fic. Now...replies!
welshlili: Are you sure you're not already insane? Lol! I know I am ^.^" Anyway, here's more. I hope you enjoyed it! ^.^"
Itnikki: Heh...I assure you that he won't completely lose it in this fic *smirk* ^.^" Well, I'm glad you're enjoying the fic! Hope you enjoyed this part just as much!
shadow64: So do I! ^.^" Thanks for reviewing!
Reluxi: O.O! Blasphemy! You MUST review! It is your duty now that you have gotten a dedication! :P Just kidding ^.^" Shoot, I started this thing a whole year before OOTP came out ^.^" Heh, that's usually the case for me. I start things and never finish them. But I WILL finish this one! I swear I will! MWAHAHA! Don't worry, you'll see Lily soon. Promise. Promise! ^.^" I forget when though...next chapter! Oh, yes! That's right! Next chapter! ^.^" Yes! Only one more chapter to go before Lily shows up...*sighs* only eight more chapters until this fic is finished *sweatdrops* I bet I'm the only one counting down the chapters ^.^" I wanna start the sequal, darn it! ^.~!
Kel6: Alerts? Ooh...I feel special ^.^" Lol, don't worry, I mostly feel how Sirius is feeling too...I just want to hit the little bugger...-.-' Why do my characters get minds of their own somehow? Constructive or not, I appreciate the review ^.^" I hope you can have some more constructive things for me this time! Don't worry, he'll be sorted out...*coughs discreetly*
Leigh: *blushes* Aw, thanks! I'm always happy to hear that people enjoy my fics ^.^" Hope you like this chapter just as much!
tv-fan-06: ^.^" Well, he did come home! Hope you like this chapter too! ^.^"
lena-jade: Eh, got it backwards *shrugs* I got it right this time around ^.^" Heh heh...go me ^.^" Fav. quotes list? Really? *squeals* That is the BEST thing you can say! *glomps lena* THANK YOU! ^.^" I hope you liked this chapter just as much! ^.^"
littlegoober: Heh...another name I like ^.^" Yes, it has been hard to find really good stories lately *sighs* But I don't think mine's all that interesting...well, okay, so it may be interesting, but that's only because of all of the plot twists I put in it ^.^" Hee...^.^"
Ariana15: Hiiiiiiiiiiii-dee-hoooooooooo! ^.^" I suppose you must be very lucky if you really enjoyed that last chapter ^.^" Maybe you'll find yourself even more luckier discovering that I have yet again updated! Dun dun DUN! I know...I'm so evil to James *looks around the room* Yeah...I am evil *thinks about the sequal and winces* Eh, oh well ^.^" Pathos? What's that? *runs to her dictionary* Ah! I see! *tosses dictionary away* ^.^" Well, I'm glad that you're feeling that way, it proves that I have been achieving what I have been working for! Thank you for telling me this! ^.^" *reads the rest of the review and becomes teary-eyed* Oh, don't worry. I don't plan to stop writing. Thank you for the support and for not being upset that I broke my promise (you're not upset are you? *uneasy look*) Thanks for the wonderful review! I hope you love this chapter just as much as you have others! ^.~!