Summary: Lais, Achilles and Patroclus' cousin, falls in love with Patroclus. However, knowing about AP. Lais is found hiding in the ship on the way to Troy. She comforts a jealous Patroclus. A/P implied. A/B. P/L.
Surprisingly (not) I have to put a bunch of disclaimers and such . . .
Disclaimer: I do NOT own - nor do I claim to own - anything related to Troy the movie or Homer's The Iliad.
Now, I will not deny that events in this story may be historically inaccurate. Quite frankly, it's my story, and I can do whatever the hell I please to it.
Let me also bring to your attention certain things about reviewing that I hate (this means don't do it unless you're really, honestly trying to pick a fight :rolls eyes: ). Also, if you do in fact do it, it only shows your stupidity for not reading this!
FOR FLAMERS: First off, for all of you who want to flame me about not following The Iliad, you should ask yourself how you got to find this fiction in the first place. Let's retrace the steps together. You first had to go to www.fanfiction.net. Then you had to go under movies - allow me to repeat - MOVIES!!!! Did you go under books? No, you went under movies. Therefore, if you want to go on about me not following the book, you can indeed kiss my ass because it was your fault, not mine.
Flames with no point . . . that's just - let me see: pointless. I don't like flames with no point. If you're going to flame me, put some constructive criticism in there as well. Else, I'll never know what was horribly wrong with my story, and I can't change it to satisfy you, the reader.
Here is an example of a pointless flame: YOUR STORY FUCKING SUCKS!
Here is an example of a constructive flame: I didn't like how you portrayed Achilles; he seemed a bit out of character. Perhaps you should show him more as . . . blah blah, opinion opinion.
Understand? . . . Good.
Another note: If you don't like my story, quit reading it. If you continue to flame me about how horrible my story is and how it makes you vomit chapter after chapter, I'll ignore you. Simple as that. You're wasting your own damn time. (This does not apply if you're giving me something constructive in it :]] ).
Also, I have only seen Troy (the movie) twice, and I have never read The Iliad (though I'm planning to as soon as I can get a copy of the book). This may explain some mistakes or times of OOC-ness.
I promise not all my notes in the beginning will be this long. This is just the first chapter, and I needed to set down some norms before I got started.
BTW I'm kinda looking for a beta reader. Everyone tells me their heavenly, so help? Also, could someone please explain to me what a 'Mary-Sue' is. I'll try to keep my character as un-'Mary-Sue' as possible. Also, anyone want to help with my crappy summary? Thanks and enjoy!
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A girl absently picked flowers. They weren't the most beautiful, quite the contrary. Each flower was dying, missing leaves, had pieces taken out, or other flaws. She loved each of them. Their flaws were what made them alike in that moment. The moment that would never happen again. She sat down in the overgrown grass that almost covered her head. The sky growled and white flashed and for a moment all was quite before a loud crack like a whip sounded. She didn't even flinch.
Slowly, she began to pick off each petal, playing the childish game of 'He loves me, He loves me not' while thinking of a certain handsome prince she had foolishly fallen madly in love with (or rather the prince she had created in her mind). She heaved a heavy sigh. "He loves me not," She whispered with the last petal and tossed the useless stem over her shoulder. She examined the next flower carefully before beginning the game and once again ending with "He loves me not."
"Of course," She said sadly not even bothering with the other flowers. They always ended up the same anyways. A tiny drop of water hit her shoulder. She smiled and wished for the rain to come more quickly. It took too long usually. She let gravity pull her upper body down onto the scratchy grass. She ignored the sudden itches that sprung all over her exposed skin. A small drop hit her nose. Her face flinched, but she stayed where she was. The drops began to slowly hit her at a faster pace. She concentrated on the contact, the chill that each one sent up her spine. Soon the drops came too fast for her to continue. She closed her eyes peacefully and let her body be covered in a thin layer of water.
She wanted to become the substance she was covered in. She breathed it in; she was drowning herself in it. She became that which she would never be in that moment. This was what she lived for: the thrill and high she got from escaping reality. Her soul flew to a world where her dream prince awaited her. He took her up into his strong yet gentle arms and whispered sweet nothings to her between each passionate kiss. They would make love under the moonlight and lie in each others arms each dawn. 'Such a silly fantasy,' her mind said in a voice that reminded the girl of her old nursemaid. 'It suits such a silly girl.' She cracked a sardonic smile.
"You just watch," She murmured to herself. "I'll find my prince; and he'll sweep me up into his arms; and tell me he's been waiting for me his whole life just as I have been waiting for him; and then he'll kiss me so passionately that I'll forget who I am; and all I shall know is I love him and he loves me; and that's all that will matter; and then we'll live happily ever after . . . forever." She giggled at her lovesickness. 'I don't even know who you are, my prince, but I will meet you someday . . . Hopefully not too long from now.'
"Lais!" A familiar voice called out across the field.
Lais tried to ignore the voice. 'I don't want to come, Thetis.'
"Lais!" The voice called out louder. It had a tint of worry in it.
'Oh, don't worry aunt. I'm not in any harm. I was perfectly at peace until you disturbed me,' Lais thought irritably. What could possibly be so important, anyways? She had stayed out in the rain for hours many times before. Why should this time be any different?
"Hiding, again?" A low voice asked with a tint of humor.
Lais smiled and opened her eyes to see her favorite cousin, Achilles, squatting down next to her. "No . . . I'm becoming rain. Would you care to join me?"
Achilles smiled back and sat next to her. "Mother is worried about you," He commented absently.
"Isn't she always?" Lais asked with a sigh. "It's you she should be worried about. You're the reckless one," She teased.
"That would be a reason for her to keep you from becoming reckless as well."
Lais nodded. "She sees the same fire in us both."
Achilles smiled wider. He stood up and offered his hand to the soaked girl below him. "Do I have to?" Lais asked with pleading eyes. Achilles took her hand from the ground and held it firmly, pulling her up much to her dismay. "I was just beginning to become water too," Lais complained.
"How have you accomplished this deed, Lais?" Achilles asked with in an amused tone as they began to walk back towards the house.
Lais took a deep breath of the crisp rain before trying to explain. "I lost myself in each drop that touched my skin. I was covered in the water, and I found myself beginning to feel almost liquid. I focused on the feeling, and it seemed to grow." She glanced at him with an annoyed expression on her face. "Then you showed up."
Achilles snorted. "You do not feel liquid. You feel like flesh. Damp and cold flesh, I might add."
"But I was," She whispered under her breath, so he wouldn't hear her. Achilles didn't understand how deep her thoughts went. She questioned her existence every day and tried to find answers in nature. It gave her temporary peace. Achilles, though a wise man, only understood war and the nature of warriors. Lais on the other hand wanted more. She had this unfulfilled craving within her that seemed to be pushed away when she was outside lost in her own deep pools of thought.
They stayed quiet the rest of the journey home which wasn't long. Thetis tusked when she saw the state Lais returned in. She didn't even bother to complain about Achilles' matted hair. He was already beyond her, but Lais was still young and uncorrupted. Thetis swore she couldn't understand that girl sometimes. She was so unlike anyone Thetis had ever encountered. She was like the sea, always changing and unreliable.
"Look at you," Thetis scolded as she picked up a strand of matted reddish brown hair. She sighed heavily. "Go hurry and wash up. We have company."
Lais did as she was told wordlessly. She hurried down the hall to where the baths were and knew she had little time. She washed herself by pouring bowlfuls of cold water over her head. She tried to keep her teeth from chattering slightly as she quickly dried herself off. She wrapped her hair in a towel and began to struggle trying to dry it as much as she could. Her damp hair fell onto her lower back, and she shuddered slightly.
Lais then wrapped the towel around her and cursed herself for forgetting to bring a change of clean clothes. She peeked her head out the door before scurrying down the hall and into her room. She grabbed a green dress from her drawer and put in on quickly. She borrowed one of Thetis' golden pins to pin to the strap on her left shoulder and touched the shell necklace Thetis had made her before hurrying out to find Thetis and Achilles.
Lais found them in the dinning room. Her gaze fell upon Patroclus. Thetis couldn't possibly mean this was the guest, could she? Lais sighed inwardly. She was not fond of Patroclus at all. He only cared about war and was so eager to kill. This longing for ending lives gave Lais chills. She was concerned with life and rebirth while Patroclus longed for blood and death. They were opposites, and they both loathed the other.
Patroclus ignored Lais when she walked in. He pretended to be listening intently to whatever Thetis and Achilles were talking about while actually paying attention to what Lais was doing. He felt her gaze on him for a moment and considered meeting it but decided it best not to begin fighting with her again. She sat next to Thetis and unfortunately across from him.
"Lais," Thetis said when she noticed the girl enter. "You look much more presentable." Thetis took her appearance in. Green always looked beautiful on her. Lais had reddish brown hair that was very uncommon and quite beautiful and pale skin that didn't seem to tan no matter how long she stayed in the sun. "Is that my gold pin?"
Lais nodded, wondering if she were going to get in trouble for borrowing it without asking. "Yes, aunt, I borrowed it. I hope you don't mind."
"Of course not. It looks lovely," Thetis said with a kind smile. Lais gave her a small smile in return.
"Mother," Achilles said to bring the attention back to the matter at hand.
"Oh, apologies. When do you sail?" Thetis asked in a calm voice. Lais noticed her arm twitch slightly though, betraying her calm mood.
"I have not decided whether I will sail or not," Achilles answered without meeting his mother's gaze.
"We should go, cousin," Patroclus interrupted excitedly at the mention of the upcoming war.
Achilles placed a hand on Patroclus' shoulder. "Not so quickly, Patroclus. This is not my war to fight." Achilles purposely stressed 'my.' He didn't want his beloved cousin in any war. Especially one he had no reason to fight in.
"I always knew Helen would run off. I should have expected it to be Paris. She was the most beautiful woman, and Paris was promised her by Aphrodite," Thetis said.
"Helen left?" Lais asked with wide eyes. Unfortunately leaving reality as she often did, she missed out on important information such as this.
"Yes, a day before yesterday. She left with the Trojans," Achilles answered.
"But why? Sparta just made peace with the Trojans." Lais asked with confusion spreading over her face.
Achilles smirked. "She was having an affair with the Trojan prince, Paris."
Lais tilted her head slightly. "She left for love?"
Achilles frowned at this. "For lust," He corrected.
Lais avoided his gaze and looked down at her lap, a wide grin spreading across her face. 'How romantic!' She closed her eyes and thought jealously, 'Why can't things such as this happen to me?' An olive hit her head and fell into her lap, breaking her hopelessly romantic thoughts. She looked up and immediately saw Patroclus looking innocently at Achilles. He, however, was unable to hide the evil grin on face. Lais pinched the olive between her fore finger and thumb, made sure Thetis and Achilles were still deep in conversation, and tossed it back at Patroclus. Her aim was a little off and hit his chin instead of his nose.
Patroclus kept his face turned to the conversation, but his blue eyes stared at her. Lais pulled a face before falling into a fit of giggles. Fighting with Patroclus was always amusing. Thetis looked from the mischievous grin on Patroclus' face to the guilty tint in the still giggling Lais' eyes. She smiled wisely. She had a vision about both of them. Surely they were old enough now. Patroclus was going on nineteen, and Lais had just recently turned sixteen.
Achilles had seen it all and now donned an amused smile. Patroclus brushed the olive from his lap to the floor while Lais tried to look angelic under Thetis' gaze.
"You both," was all Thetis said.
"Sorry, aunt," Lais said though trying to hide a smile.
It was after dinner that Thetis took Lais aside to the courtyard. "Lais, you're coming of age," Thetis began slowly.
Lais sighed. "I know, aunt."
"Patroclus has grown into a handsome man," Thetis hinted.
The girl shrugged in return. "I suppose." She had honestly never thought of him in that aspect. Lais hesitated before venturing to say, "He's not my prince though."
Thetis smiled and patted the seat next to her on the stone bench. Lais went and sat beside her. "How can you know he's not your prince if you've never tried to see him as a prince?"
"I just know he's not, aunt. When I meet my prince," Lais took a deep breath, "I'll know."
Thetis was sure she had planted the seed in Lais' head, and for now that was her only part to play. She kissed her niece on the temple and sent her off to bed.
Lais walked down the hallway to her room. She wondered what Thetis could possibly mean. Thetis hardly ever said something so bizarre unless she had had a vision. Had Thetis had a vision of Patroclus and her? Lais sighed slightly and bumped into someone. She raised her head and saw Patroclus. 'This seems to always be my bad luck.'
"Patroclus," She said. She tried to take him in. His messy golden locks and gorgeous blue eyes, tanned skin over developed muscles. Could he be her prince?
Patroclus noticed the thoughtful expression on Lais' face and the way her eyes were dancing over him. "Is something wrong?" He asked, confused.
"No." Lais smiled. "Thank you for asking."
Patroclus was even further confused by her genuine smile and unnecessary gratitude. "Are you feeling alright?" His brow furrowed as he tried to see through her to what game she was playing.
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Lais was trying to be polite. She was trying to imagine this man before her as her prince, but he certainly wasn't helping.
"You're acting strange." Patroclus didn't attempt hiding the frown on his face or the suspicious gaze he gave her.
Lais didn't appreciate either. She knew he wasn't her prince! He was an arrogant child that was all. "I was trying to be nice," She snapped at him, "but apparently you wouldn't understand that concept." She pushed past him and hurried down the hall to her room.
In her wake a rather suspicious, slightly guilty, and overall confused Patroclus stood silent for a moment before continuing on his way to find Achilles. He pushed Lais to the back of his mind and wondered whether Achilles would care to spar in the morning or not.
Lais meanwhile was tossing in her bed, growling under her breath, and mentally hitting herself for ever even attempting with Patroclus. 'I can't believe I even!' This thought caused another growl. 'Did you expect to capture his heart in one speaking?!' The nursemaid voice of reason was back. 'No, I don't want his heart! I doubt he even has one,' a rather childish sounding voice shot back. "He is Patroclus and nothing more," Lais whispered as she calmed her anger. She was overreacting and was the one being childish. Patroclus had been confused at the sudden change in attitude. Lais accepted that she was wrong and assumed she would actually be able to sleep now.
Instead images started appearing before her eyes and thoughts floating through her tired mind. She bashfully pushed away an image of Patroclus taking her up in his arms. It was wrong. She found herself unable to sleep nor rid herself of these tormenting thoughts. She crept out of her room and to the courtyard. As she passed by the guest room, she noticed a light. Apparently Achilles and Patroclus had stayed for the night. They were arguing by the sound of it. Lais thought she might have heard something about 'war.'
She hated to eavesdrop, but she couldn't help herself. Reluctantly, very reluctantly, she placed her ear to the door, praying to the gods that she wouldn't be caught.
"If you leave, I'm coming with you!" That was definitely Patroclus.
"You'll stay here," Achilles growled. Then in a more gentle tone, "I can't risk losing you."
Lais frowned, and her heart raced. Why would Achilles say something like that? She knew she shouldn't listen, but her curiosity was peeked. "Who's to say I will be lost? You put your life on the line. Why should I be different?!"
"You know the answer to that, Patroclus," Achilles said so low that Lais strained to hear it. Her breathing quickened with excitement. Suspense seemed to fill the air. "Lover, I will not let you be harmed."
"Oh gods," Lais whispered before quickly placing a hand over her mouth. She should not have heard that. She forced herself away from the door and stumbled out into the courtyard. The words had left her stunned. Patroclus and Achilles were lovers. "Gods, you have cursed me," Lais whispered. "I shall never know love." 'Oh, silly, silly, girl! You act as though Patroclus were the only man you considered your prince.' It was for only a moment too. Why was she taking the news this way? It should not be a big surprise. Achilles and Patroclus were close. She had known that for years, but she had never heard it spoken.
'Thetis you have tricked me into believing I had met my prince. Fate is cruel indeed.' Lais laid down on the stone bench, finding some comfort in the cool feeling against her heated skin. Her breathing returned to normal, but her heart was pulsing faster than usual. She would have shot up when she heard the footsteps if she had not felt so exhausted.
"Lais, what are you doing out here?"
He always seemed to show up when she was in these sorts of moods. Perhaps it was an instinct on his part. Lais raised her head to glare at him. "I could ask the same of you, cousin."
Achilles did not smile as she had expected. He instead let out a labored sigh. Apparently the fighting had taken its toll on him. His presence was distraught. "Patroclus is young. He looks at war as a glory he longs for," Lais tried to assure her cousin.
"Only because I make it seem that way," Achilles said in that calm voice he had sometimes. It was too calm to be comforting.
Lais sat up and rested her weight on her hand. "Patroclus loves you," She said hesitantly. "I'm sure he wants to prove himself to you."
Achilles did smile now though it was sardonic. "I thought it was you who was listening in."
Lais looked down shamefully. "I wasn't listening in. I merely overheard." Achilles paced slowly in front of her. "Are you angry with him?" She asked after moments of thick silence.
"No," Achilles said. He didn't care to explain himself.
"You should go see him," Lais said. She raised her gaze to watch his profile.
Achilles shook his head. "He's angry with me."
"And he has reason to be." Lais was surprised she was sticking up for him. She liked to think she was rather pointing out the obvious. "You seem to value the fame you find in war more than anything else, you teach Patroclus to fight, and then you deny him." She was now speaking aloud her thoughts, "I think Patroclus looks up to you. He wants to be like you. Perhaps even to try and understand you." Lais tilted her head and looked up at him. "You don't share your feelings with many, and if you do, I doubt they understand."
Achilles seemed to be lost in his own thoughts as he stared intently at the space in front of him with glazed eyes. "Or maybe," Lais continued to fill the silence, "he wants to understand that which you place so much value you in."
Achilles smiled briefly now before turning to face Lais. "Little cousin, how did you become so wise?"
Lais blushed and looked down shyly. Achilles' compliments were far and few. It meant more to her to hear him say that than even Thetis. "It's hardly wisdom." She now fiddled with the thin material of her gown. "I spend all my time thinking about things such as this. I know nothing beyond that."
Achilles knelt in front of her. It almost unnerved Lais to see her cousin acting so out of character. He looked up into her face and seemed to see through to something deeper and hidden away in her. "Tell me, Lais, are you lonely?"
Lais forced a small smile on her lips. "I have Thetis and you," Her smile grew before she added, "and sometimes Patroclus." She avoided the true answer. "No, I'm not lonely if lonely is to be alone." Now felt right enough to talk with Achilles. He seemed genuine. "But if lonely is to long for the presence of another in your life, then I suppose I am." She smiled lopsidedly. "I am sorry. My mouth makes no sense of my mind."
Achilles didn't laugh though. His eyes were far too intense to even suggest a laugh. "I understand." He leaned closer and continued in a low whisper, "I feel the same."
"But why?" Lais asked in confusion. "You have love." Achilles didn't say anything. His gaze was too extreme to look at. "Do you not want the love you have?" She asked in a whisper as she kept her eyes downcast.
Again Achilles did not answer, and Lais assumed he wouldn't until he spoke when she was about to open her mouth again. "I don't think I have the love I want. I have the love a brother would give to his sibling. Patroclus is young; he confuses his feelings."
Lais couldn't comment on the subject. She was aware that Achilles was a warrior, and the most fearsome one at that. The pain in his voice, however, suggested that he was showing his full human side. She smiled slightly and pulled him into a tight embrace. She was surprised when she felt him embrace her as well. Lais slowly stroked his hair with one hand and rested her cheek against his head.
Achilles had told her something once when she was younger. 'Everything is beautiful because we are doomed to die.' This moment was precious to Lais. Achilles won't return if he goes to war, and she was as aware of that as Thetis was. "I love you, cousin," She murmured into his hair, feeling her eyes prick with tears. She couldn't cry. She should be strong. He didn't respond, but Lais knew what he would say if he had. "Now I should go inside to bed before Thetis finds us. She'll think you're corrupting me," She teased good-naturedly. It made the conversation and atmosphere take a dramatic turn for the better.
"Am I?" Achilles asked with a smile as he stood up.
"The gods only know how much." Lais grinned and nudged him before saying, "Good night." Then she headed off to bed.
She tried to keep herself from musing on what had been said in the conversation. "Oh go to sleep already," She said to herself as she rolled over. Her body was tired and finally gave into her begging as she fell into a deep sleep.
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I would LOVE for you to review, but please, if you're planning on flaming read the previous A/N's to avoid any unnecessary hostility between writer and reader. Thank you and come again ; P!