DISCLAIMER: I own all of Harry Potter! And I own J.K Rowling too! She's my slave/butler, but I'd really like to just call her my slave. "Come on, you can shine those shoes better than that, Rowling!" [thrusts about]

A/N: I would like to give shout out thanks to: Renny. Thanks for not stealing my whole Hermione raping herself with her weenie thing in my other fic. And I'm glad you like my random-ness. And also thanks to phredtheflyingmonkey. I'm glad you like it. It IS a really weird story right now. I'm glad there is someone else out there who likes my weird sense of humor! Also thanks to: Weasley Wonders. I love you! [hugs him] Thank you for letting me know that I made you laugh. Yall shoulda seen how hyper and excited I was when I got those reviews in my email! I was like laughing like an idiot, and screaming "I got reviews, mama!" And my mom just kinda stared at me like I was on drugs. So thanks to all! Just for that I'm ganna write yall a very delicious chapter! [licks her chops like a dog]

After Harry and Fred had cleaned up, (They got to spray each-other with water hoses, something Harry quite enjoyed) and all the ashy goodness was rinsed away, they went back up to the school to meet Ron and Hermione.

"Herms! Ron! We here!" Harry and Fred announced, galloping into the room holding hands. But they stopped dead in their tracks as they both walked in on Hermione and Ron doing naughty things on the common room couch.

"Egads! My eyes!" Fred cried and covered his face with his hands, turning on his heel and racing out of the room. Harry watched Hermione and Ron a while longer (not really noticing Hermione, but mostly envisioning Ron with Ron.) then shrugged and followed Fred out into the hall. Fred was crying.

"What's wrong, Freddie?" Harry asked sweetly, patting him on the bottom. Fred looked up, and Harry saw that his face was tear-stained and his eyes were watery and red. Harry gasped.

"What's the matter, Fred-Noodle?" Harry asked, grabbing his hand. Fred sighed deeply, and blew his nose on Harry's shirt. Harry blinked.

"It's just, I saw my brother naked! It's going to scar me for the rest of my life!" He put his face back in his hands and began to sob again.

"Scar you? Can I see the scar, ickle Freddy-kins?" Harry asked seductively. Fred stared at him like he was a nutter.

"Harry! You aren't taking this serious enough! That was two of our best friends!"

"But didn't you think Ron was well toned, I mean, except for that slight pudge, and the hideous birthmark on his"-

"That's my brother! The horror, the horror!" And with that, Fred flung himself out the window. Harry raised his eyebrows. Why the window? There were so many other modes of suicide.

"Fred is like, so not creative. He should do something different next time." Harry told himself, heading back to the common room to see how Hermione and Ron were doing. O.o

Harry sat with Hermione in the Great Hall. He was ready to give her the speech. He took a deep breath, ignoring the fact that Hermione was paying him no attention, and she was stuffing peas in the pores of her forehead. Harry cleared his throat.

"Hermione, I know about you and Ron." He stated, watching her cram in another pea. How was she doing that?

"Me and Ron? You mean you know that we nude wrestle?" She pulled a pea out this time and ate it. Harry stared at her.

"If that's what you want to call it."

"No, Harry. That's what we are really doing. We are training for the Nude Wrestling Olympics, or the 'N.W.O'. It's my dream to win the gold Medal, and Ron is just helping me." Harry smiled wide and he had Bambi eyes. He was clapping like a retard.

"Really?" He asked, making a perfect 'o' shape with his mouth. Hermione nodded.

"Okay! Man, and I can't believe I thought you and Ron were doing the nasty. Well, talk to ya later!" And he skipped off, but not after pulling a pea out of one of her pores and popping it in his mouth.

Hermione watched him go. "What a mutha effin bastard." She said loudly, rolling her eyes. "I can't believe he fell for that load of shit that I made up on the top of my head." And she turned back to her plate of peas.

[A/N: Crap! My mama was nosy and read what I had written near the top. And she's all "Hermione raping herself with her weenie? That's perverted, honey! I mean, you DO know some people get on the internet just to see stuff like that, and get excited by it?" And then she went into this long speech. I was trying so hard not to laugh! Well, till next time: Julie. ]