Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter's sweet candy ass. O.o
"It's awfully sad that Ron died." Harry pointed out to Hermione. The two were outside at the lake, and Harry was building a sand castle. He was pretty good at it. He patted some sand on the top and clapped.
"Yeah." Hermione whispered, watching as Harry applied more of the sand. She sighed. She really DID miss Ron. And the last time she had seen him, they had had a fight.
"And Ron can't help you with your N.W.O dream anymore." Harry placed a seashell lovingly at the top. He sat back and admired his work.
"Harry, I only lied about the Nude Wrestling Olympics so I wouldn't have to tell you the truth. In fact, me and Ron were actually doing the nasty that day. I'm sorry." Harry gasped and almost fell over on his castle.
"You LIED? You mean you don't really want to wrestle hairy fat guys and win a gold medal? I can't believe you!" Harry pouted, and crossed his arms.
Hermione stared at him sadly. She couldn't help but realize how cute he was, especially because he was pouting. But it was more than that: The way his dark hair was wet from the recent swim, and how his cheeks were sun-kissed and slightly burnt. Suddenly a voice shattered her thoughts.
"So, we're partnered together, huh, Potter?" Draco spat out. Literally. With each "Potter", Draco always manages to secrete massive loads of saliva. Harry looked up, smiling, and patting his sand castle.
"At least he's in a good mood again." Hermione thought to herself.
"Yup! We sho is! You're my bitch now" Harry said, giggling, and going slightly pink. And it wasn't just the sunburn. Draco raised a pair of carefully combed and groomed eyebrows.
"You sound happy about it." He sat down in the sand beside Harry, and started to help Harry pat some sand onto the castle. Hermione had to do a double take. Was he, Draco Malfoy, actually being nice?
Harry giggled some more, and picked up a handful of sand, and applied some carefully to the side. "Well, I am happy about it. I love you! I have the like, hugest crush ever on you! I wanna freak you hard, babay! And have your children!!!"
Luckily, Snape walked by in his pink Speedo and farted, and Draco was to busy burying his face in the sand to rid himself of the stench to listen to what Harry was saying.
Hermione gave the two boys a look and shrugged. She got up and left Harry and Draco alone. She was going to go to Ron's funeral, which Harry had said earlier that day he wasn't interested in going to. He said he'd rather just hang at the beach, than go see some rotting, smelly guy in a box.
Harry watched Hermione go, and poked Draco in the side. "Get out of there, silly! We can freak now that mommy's gone!" Draco still couldn't hear what he had said though, as his face was buried deep in sand and seagull poop, so all he heard was a muffled sentence. He brought his head back up, and shook the sand from his beach blonde hair like a dog. Harry watched happily.
"So, how are you taking care of Bruce? I heard you and him were at the beach, so that's why I'm here. I came to pick him up. I was taking little Brucey to the zoo today to see the giraffes." Draco announced, now trying to gauge some sand out of his eyes with a stick. Harry looked around a bit, his eyes crossed in confusion.
"Who's Bruce?" Draco gasped, and clutched his bosom, frowning.
"Don't tell me you don't even know who our only child is! What have you done with him?" Draco started digging in the sand, looking for something, and he even opened up Harry's swimming trunks, (which Harry didn't mind at all) and dug around in there.
"Where is Brucey?" Draco shouted, exhausted from the hunt. Harry pouted, and placed a hand on Draco's shoulder, fingering his muscles ever so slightly.
"Just tell me who this Bruce child is, and maybe I can help you."
"Bruce is our pellet! The pellet of sperm! Where is he? You were supposed to have him first! Now it's my turn!" Draco spat out, spit colliding with Harry's face. Harry's eyes lit up.
"Oh, the gray terd thing! Yeah, I have him." Harry reached into his trunks, stayed there for a while, and finally his hand emerged holding Bruce. Draco took the pellet away lovingly, and nuzzled his face against it.
"There you are, my precious poppit! I shall never let you out of my sight again!" Then he held it away from his face, his eyes suddenly frozen in fear. He gulped. "How come I didn't find him when I felt around in your pants? I mean, I had checked in there." But Harry laughed, slapping Draco hard on the thigh.
"Did you check up my anus? I was trying to incubate him or whatever. I was watching a documentary on chickens the other day, and it gave me the idea." Draco stared at him.
"The eggs aren't going up their butts when the chickens sit on them, Harry." He said, sitting the pellet down carefully, his eyes still frozen wide.
"Oh." Was all Harry replied, and began to mess with his sand castle again. Draco frowned.
"You freakin retarded git! I can't believe you just let me nuzzle my face against something that has been stuck up your ass! Burn in hell, Potter!"
And with that, he grabbed up the pellet and kicked Harry's castle to the ground, stamping on it and spitting on it. Then he raced off, laughing like a wild rabid hyena.
After he had disappeared over the sandy horizon, Harry stared down at the lump of sand which used to be a castle. He scooped up a bit, held it up towards the heavens, and began to cry.
A/N: How sad! Poor ickle Harry! His precious pwitty castle fall down! Aw! Does the widdle baby need a huggy wuggy? OKAY enough baby talk. Back to the author's note. I was disappointed that I only got ONE review for my new chapter. Usually I would punish you all and wait to get more before I write the next one, but since I feel like writing today (I'm in the creative mood) I am ganna go ahead and work on the next one. Here comes chapter five!
Oh yeah: And to my one and only reviewer, here is your thank you!
RENNY! MY ONLY LOYAL FAN! Thanks so much, sister! Yes, I do love you like a fat kid loves cake. Maybe even like a fat kid that loves 12 inch subs from Blimpy! But let's not over-react here.
Yes, I have seen Cheaters. It's one of my fave movies EVAH! [holds up fingers in the rock-on sign with tongue hangin out]
Oh, and yeah I know about the Harry/Draco thing. Ah huh, it's in your story too, as in many other sick minded fic-kers. But don't worry, I don't think the Harry and Draco think is ganna work. (as you can tell from what you have just read.)
And we'll just have to see about the getting pregnant thing.
P.S: Thank you, Savvy706! [embraces her] You are da frickin' bomb, yo! I appreciate the reviews. I'm glad you like this fic...I rather like it myself. Sigh. [another hug] I hope you are havin a groovy, summer kiddo. [feels stupid cause you may even be able than I am. I dunno]
Whelp, til next time! I love you all! And PLEASE REVIEW! [begs]
...Your sexy beast master....Julie