Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, neither does J.K Rowling. I think the whole conspiracy is run by German-speaking house maids. =Humph=

Where I left you off : Hermione got back together with Ron, since he is no longer dead, and Harry and Draco are paired up in a marriage thingie. Let's see what happens! [drums pound, and the Jaws shark movie music plays Duh, dum! Duh, dum! Duhdumduhdumduhdumduhdum] =spasm=

Back at Potion's Class:

Snape peered closely at the students, his arms crossed. He held a whip in his teeth.

"Schmo how ish bah pewwet ting hoe-wing?" He asked, giving the evil eye to Harry and Draco. Everyone stared at him strangely.

"What?" Ron asked, then turned to Hermione and began snogging her like a wild jungle boy on Viagra. Snape took the whip from his mouth and held it threateningly in his hand.

"I said, so how is the pellet thing going? I would guess you all have taken care of your pellet carefully, as I told you to."

"Actually, I stuck our pellet up my"- Harry was cut off by Draco slapping his hand over his mouth.

"Trust me, professor. We took incredible care of the pellet! It's not like we got it stuck up our asses trying to incubate it or anything." He assured Snape, turning pale and sweaty. Snape shrugged.

"Well anyway, today you will be picked, one from each group, to USE the pellet. It's time for the real part in the experiment." He cracked the whip hard across Harry's face.

"You there, Potty Boy. Get up here and let me get you pregnant." Harry's pupils turned as large as baseballs and he shook his head, envisioning Snape raping him in front of the whole class.

"Never!" He cried, crawling under his desk and covering his head with his hands. Ron was still snogging Hermione.

"Get out from there, you little shit. I'm not going to hump you. You are simply going to have to eat the pellet. Come along." And he reached under the desk and gave Harry a little assuring pat on the hiney.

Harry licked his lips and reluctantly climbed out, his eyes on Snape's whip. Snape turned to Draco.

"The pellet? Hand it over." Draco carefully lifted Bruce out of the tiny crib he had made for him out of toothpicks. It had been sitting on his desk. He waved goodbye to his precious Brucey as Snape caried him away.

"Harry! Please don't bite him hard! He's still so young! Be gentle, you faggot!" Draco was on the verge of tears. Harry raised an eyebrow. Snape gave him a confused look, and handed Harry the pellet.

"Eat it, mutha." Snape growled, poking Harry with the whip. Harry's eyes began to water.

"What if I don't wanna become pregnant? What if I had wanted to wait til I was married?" He began to cry. Snape started to crack the whip across his back and butt violently, screaming in a high-pitched wail that burst all the ear-drums in the room.

"As if! No one would want to marry you, Potter!" Draco spat out, flipping Harry a bird. Harry kicked at Snape, still getting beaten, and trying to escape.

"Eat it, Potty! This goes as a grade!"

"Yeah, Harry! Then you can be pregnant, like me!" Ron chimed, rubbing his ever growing stomach. Harry began to cry louder. Obviously that hadn't helped him much.

Harry

Was

Pregnant.

And so was Ron, and so was half the Potion's class. They all had the same due date, and the better the baby came out looking, the higher the grade. Snape wanted to see how well the pellets formed the babies.

"I'm scared about the labor part!" Harry said, his voice shaky. He grabbed ahold of Hermione's shirt and dug his face into it, crying and wailing like a baby. Hermione punched at him.

"Pull yourself together, man! Women go through this sort of thing all the time! Now it's turn for guys to see what we have to go through! I like Snape's idea! It proves to all the guys that"-

"Yeah, well women don't have itsy bitsy pee openings either! I actually only have one hole, so does that mean that the freakin baby is forming in my bladder?" And he shivered from the thought, his eyes still wet, and a large snot bubble in his left nostril.

"I'm not sure, but I really don't care. That's your problem." Hermione popped the bubble, and sat down in the grass to think. Harry followed suit.

"Who is pregnant in your group?" Harry asked. Hermione sighed and began pulling at blades of grass and weeds.

"Neville."

"Oh." Harry squinted. Ew.

"Yeah well, I'm glad it isn't me. Neville's really excited though. He has already chosen all theses names for it. Like, Colonel Kipper, and Sean." She poked Harry in the leg. "What did the pellet taste like?"

Harry gulped, remembering how it had tasted strongly of his ass. "Uh, like watermelon, with a pinch of mayonnaise." He lied.

"Yuck! Mayo!" Hermione made a face, and jumped up from the grass. She cried "Woo hoo!" And leapt down the hill, rolling and tumbling all the way. Harry blinked several times, watching her bounce like a beach ball.

[A/N: Time for the individual thank you's! Hehe! [giggles feverishly]

Weasley Wonders: Thanks, kiddo! feels awkward saying that as you are probably the same age as I am Well, again, I'm really glad that I made you laugh. And NO! I didn't kill off another Weasley! See! See! [points] I tricked you! Muahahaha...Ah hem. Sorry, I can't reply to your most recent review, as I stuck the emails somewhere and I can't find em. But, write another one so I can respond to IT! Please! [shoves a bag of corn nuts down your kilt] Gargle, Penelope!

Also thanks: To phredtheflyingmonkey! Sorry I didn't acknowledge that you had reviewed also that one time that I was saying how only one person had r&r'd. You did as well! I just didn't get yours til I was done writing the chapter. I'm so glad that I cheer you up! I love bightening people's days![shines a flash light on Fred's day] Muahaha

Also thanks: To I dunno! Since I lost my freakin emails! I know there was more, and I am sooo sorry if I left you out. Just write me another review and I swear I will reply to it! Thanks! [hugs]

Til Next Time: Julie! [The Night Before Christmas rules!!!!]