Disclaimer: Blah Blah Blah don't own Blah Blah! Harry Potter Blah!
[is quite pleased with herself] I HAVE WRITTEN THREE! COUNT 'EM THREE CHAPTERS OVER THE WEEKEND! And I didn't even get reviews for one of em cause I only just uploaded them like five seconds ago, but what the hey.
Things that MIGHT happen in this chappie:
My friend Christie will come back, for she is a hell of fun to work with.
Ron or Harry will go into labor.
Neville will reveal his feelings to Hermione.
Harry will ask someone out!
A pack of nude cheerleaders will insult Dumbledore's mama in broad daylight at a tabernacle!
Everyone will die and become famous dead people on E.T!
I will watch my dad and sister engage in a healthy conversation about the Prevention of Colon Cancer.
Elmo will sprout wings and terrorize a small town by sneaking into Town Folk's houses and pissing on their couches!
My braces will fall off into Michael Jordan's oatmeal and he will choke to death on 'em!
ENJOY!
[A few characters, which I am too tired to name, are all situated outside where it is quite muddy and wet from the rain the previous day. They dodge puddles as they try to reach the Quidditch Field, where cheerleading tryouts for the Gryfinddor Team are being held. Hermione and Ron are quite excited.]
HERMIONE: I am quite excited!
RON: I'm ganna be a cheerleader!
HARRY: Why can't I be a cheerleader? [makes several pouty looks]
HERMIONE: Because you're the freakin seeker!
HARRY: I'll trade, if one of you makes it!
RON: Jesus Christ! My pants are molesting some lady at a nursing home named Betty!
HERMIONE: Oh look! We're almost there! I am so ready to do this thang!
[The Quidditch Field is coming into view]
JULIE: [practices cheering] Go team! You can do it! Put a little "oomf" into it! [shakes bottom furiously]
RON: [tries to shake as well]
HARRY: Good luck, you bunch of panty-raiding pirate nuts!
HERMIONE: Shut up, Harry.
HARRY: Ok.
[They reach the Field, where a line of girls are waiting to try out. The instructor is in the middle of the field teaching a few students a cheer.]
RON: Oh my! It's our Expectant Mother's class Instructor! [gasps and clings onto Hermione's leg]
HERMIONE: [shakes him off] Be brave, Ron!
CHRISTIE: [walks over] By the scared look on your pathetic faces, you are surprised to see that I am the cheerleading captain.
HARRY: You get around a lot.
CHRISTIE: Do you remember a lady at your dentist office that gives you the stickers when you are a good boy and don't have cavities?
HARRY: Oh, I think I do!
CHRISTIE: Me.
HARRY: Noooooooo! [covers ears]
RON: Let's begin! I am like so totally ready for this! [does a split, and waves pom poms]
CHRSTIE: Dude, we're getting a Dell!
HERMIONE: So what do we do first to try out?
CHRISTIE: Kid-nap a Holiday mascot such as the Easter Bunny, wax their bikini line, take funny and exciting pictures with them in a photo booth at TRL, and teach them how to dance the Tootsie Roll with old women.
HARRY: All right! Already taken care of!
CHRSITIE: So let's begin! You first, Hermione Manure Head.
HERMIONE: Okay. [waves her pom poms like mad]
CHRSITIE: You MADE IT! CONGRADULATIONS!
HERMIONE: Hooray! [pours syrup in her bra and hops into a red ant hill]
CHRSITIE: You next, Harry Ass Breath.
HARRY: I'm not trying out! I'm the seeker!
CHRISTIE: CONGRADULATIONS! YOU MADE IT!
HARRY: [picks out his new uniform]
CHRISTIE: Your turn, Ron-Penelope-Cruz-Granger!
RON: G is for "great!" R is for "racists!" Y is for "Yolanda!"---
CHRISTIE: That was awful! Forty seven point nine points from Gryfinddor!
RON: You can't do that, you're only the cheerleading captain!
CHRSITIE: [sheds skin, revealing Snape]
RON: It's Snape! I knew the coach was too sexy to be Christie!
SNAPE: Fifty added to Gryfinddor. For realizing my inner sexiness. [takes out a mirror and does a multiple of poses]
HARRY: Ginger-bread men doing erotic things at airports in the middle of august wearing sand-paper Speedo's!
SNAPE: Hoorah! So far we have Harry and Hermione as cheerleaders!
JULIE: My TURN!
RON: [goes into labor]
JULIE: Crap! Why must you go into labor at times like this?
RON: [screams in pain]
JULIE: Ha ha!
SNAPE: Quick! Who knows how to birth babies?
HERMIONE: I ain't knowing nothin bout birthing no babies! [says like the black maid in "Gone with The Wind"]
RON: [clutches his weenie]
[is quite pleased with herself] I HAVE WRITTEN THREE! COUNT 'EM THREE CHAPTERS OVER THE WEEKEND! And I didn't even get reviews for one of em cause I only just uploaded them like five seconds ago, but what the hey.
Things that MIGHT happen in this chappie:
My friend Christie will come back, for she is a hell of fun to work with.
Ron or Harry will go into labor.
Neville will reveal his feelings to Hermione.
Harry will ask someone out!
A pack of nude cheerleaders will insult Dumbledore's mama in broad daylight at a tabernacle!
Everyone will die and become famous dead people on E.T!
I will watch my dad and sister engage in a healthy conversation about the Prevention of Colon Cancer.
Elmo will sprout wings and terrorize a small town by sneaking into Town Folk's houses and pissing on their couches!
My braces will fall off into Michael Jordan's oatmeal and he will choke to death on 'em!
ENJOY!
[A few characters, which I am too tired to name, are all situated outside where it is quite muddy and wet from the rain the previous day. They dodge puddles as they try to reach the Quidditch Field, where cheerleading tryouts for the Gryfinddor Team are being held. Hermione and Ron are quite excited.]
HERMIONE: I am quite excited!
RON: I'm ganna be a cheerleader!
HARRY: Why can't I be a cheerleader? [makes several pouty looks]
HERMIONE: Because you're the freakin seeker!
HARRY: I'll trade, if one of you makes it!
RON: Jesus Christ! My pants are molesting some lady at a nursing home named Betty!
HERMIONE: Oh look! We're almost there! I am so ready to do this thang!
[The Quidditch Field is coming into view]
JULIE: [practices cheering] Go team! You can do it! Put a little "oomf" into it! [shakes bottom furiously]
RON: [tries to shake as well]
HARRY: Good luck, you bunch of panty-raiding pirate nuts!
HERMIONE: Shut up, Harry.
HARRY: Ok.
[They reach the Field, where a line of girls are waiting to try out. The instructor is in the middle of the field teaching a few students a cheer.]
RON: Oh my! It's our Expectant Mother's class Instructor! [gasps and clings onto Hermione's leg]
HERMIONE: [shakes him off] Be brave, Ron!
CHRISTIE: [walks over] By the scared look on your pathetic faces, you are surprised to see that I am the cheerleading captain.
HARRY: You get around a lot.
CHRISTIE: Do you remember a lady at your dentist office that gives you the stickers when you are a good boy and don't have cavities?
HARRY: Oh, I think I do!
CHRISTIE: Me.
HARRY: Noooooooo! [covers ears]
RON: Let's begin! I am like so totally ready for this! [does a split, and waves pom poms]
CHRSTIE: Dude, we're getting a Dell!
HERMIONE: So what do we do first to try out?
CHRISTIE: Kid-nap a Holiday mascot such as the Easter Bunny, wax their bikini line, take funny and exciting pictures with them in a photo booth at TRL, and teach them how to dance the Tootsie Roll with old women.
HARRY: All right! Already taken care of!
CHRSITIE: So let's begin! You first, Hermione Manure Head.
HERMIONE: Okay. [waves her pom poms like mad]
CHRSITIE: You MADE IT! CONGRADULATIONS!
HERMIONE: Hooray! [pours syrup in her bra and hops into a red ant hill]
CHRSITIE: You next, Harry Ass Breath.
HARRY: I'm not trying out! I'm the seeker!
CHRISTIE: CONGRADULATIONS! YOU MADE IT!
HARRY: [picks out his new uniform]
CHRISTIE: Your turn, Ron-Penelope-Cruz-Granger!
RON: G is for "great!" R is for "racists!" Y is for "Yolanda!"---
CHRISTIE: That was awful! Forty seven point nine points from Gryfinddor!
RON: You can't do that, you're only the cheerleading captain!
CHRSITIE: [sheds skin, revealing Snape]
RON: It's Snape! I knew the coach was too sexy to be Christie!
SNAPE: Fifty added to Gryfinddor. For realizing my inner sexiness. [takes out a mirror and does a multiple of poses]
HARRY: Ginger-bread men doing erotic things at airports in the middle of august wearing sand-paper Speedo's!
SNAPE: Hoorah! So far we have Harry and Hermione as cheerleaders!
JULIE: My TURN!
RON: [goes into labor]
JULIE: Crap! Why must you go into labor at times like this?
RON: [screams in pain]
JULIE: Ha ha!
SNAPE: Quick! Who knows how to birth babies?
HERMIONE: I ain't knowing nothin bout birthing no babies! [says like the black maid in "Gone with The Wind"]
RON: [clutches his weenie]