Disclaimer: Harry Potter or his stupid ass friends aren't mine. The only one I own is my friend Christie. Sadly, I do not own myself, my mommy does. [her mom tugs her on a leash down the sidewalk]
Where I left you off at: The friends were at cheerleading tryouts where Christie was the coach, and Ron went into labor.
[Everyone huddles around Ron]
HERMIONE: Quick! We need a doctor!
CHRISTIE: [sheds cheerleading uniform, revealing a white coat and name tag that says "Hello. My name is Doctor Christie."]
ALL: [gasp]
RON: No! It can't be! This can't be happening!
CHRISTIE: But it is. Now, do you remember everything I taught you in our Expectant Mother's class?
RON: [lays in the grass and spreads legs] I suppose.
CHRISTIE: Great. Hermione, fetch me a towel, and Harry, make yourself useful.
HARRY: [takes out a lollp-pop from his pocket and sucks on it]
CHRISTIE: And Julie, help me birth this baby.
JULIE: Okay! [shoves her hand up Ron's weenie]
RON: EEEEEEEEEE!!!! [screams like mini-me in Austin Powers]
JULIE: I can feel the butt! It's coming in the wrong way!
CHRISTIE: Then we shall have to do a c-section. Oh what the heck, Julie, cut his weenie off. [gets scissors from her doctor bag]
JULIE: Okay! [takes the scissors, which are the crayola cheap plastic kind]
CHRISTIE: Ooh, cheap plastic. This will be a long and painful process.
RON: My manhood! Please, doctor! Let me keep it!
HERMIONE: [hands the doctor the towel she was sent for] I know a faster way.
CHRISTIE: Then go for it. [plays with her scope thingy]
HERMIONE: [rips his weenie off with her bare hands, She places it in a Mason jar]
RON: [makes weird noises]
CHRISTIE: Great work. [hands Hermione a lolly pop]
HERMIONE: [licks it, while fingering Ron's naked bottom]
CHRISTIE: Okay Ron, now push hard. Remember your breathing techniques.
RON: [strains, and accidentally poops all over Christie's hands]
CHRISTIE: How dare you. [wipes the poop on Harry]
HARRY: [licks it off] Chocolate!
RON: Get this thing outta me!
CHRISTIE: I'm trying, quit shitting all over the place and hold still.
RON: [pushes, and a small round ass appears, sticking out of the hole where Ron's weenie use to be]
HARRY: [spanks the newborn's ass]
CHRISTIE: Harry, step away. You smell of shit. Julie, hand me the pliers,
JULIE: [checks the doctor's bag]
RON: No! I have a much safer and less painful way! [farts, and the baby squirts out and hits Harry in the back of the head]
HARRY: [falls to ground] Ahhyh!
RON: [dies of complications]
HERMIONE: Crap, my lover has died once again. He must be cremated this time. [lights a match to Ron's body]
JULIE: [picks the baby up from off Harry, where it is clinging onto his hair]
CHRISTIE: Hand me the bald and small one.
JULIE: [tosses her the baby]
CHRISTIE: Ooh, it's quite ugly. [makes a face]
JULIE: Yes, well what shall we name it? [pats at it with the towel]
CHRISTIE: Let's name it by combining Ron and Pansy's names. It shall forever be known as PonRonsy.
JULIE: No, let's name it Butch.
CHRISTIE: It shall be done.
HERMIONE: I want to hold Butch!
JULIE: You can breast-feed it I suppose.
HERMIONE: But I have no boobs.
JULIE: You freak! I should've known, by your masculine and ugly ways.
HERMIONE: [swings christie around her head by her scope thingy]
CHRISTIE: Let me down, you impudent ass!
HERMIONE: [lets go, and christie goes flying into the stands and hits Dumbledore, where he had been sitting watching the birthing process]
HARRY: [is still unconscious on the ground] Look, it's the headmaster!
[Dumbledore walks over, wiping Christie's blood off his kilt and stockings]
DUMBLEDORE: You all did a great job with the birthing. Now, hand me Butch and I shall bless her.
JULIE: [tosses him the baby] Here, you old fart.
DUMBLEDORE: [tosses it back and forth with Julie, playing catch for ten minutes, then stops and holds it up towards the sun] From this day on, you shall have the finest, roundest ass in all the land. Men and homosexual women will journey from miles and miles to look upon your fine ass.
JULIE: [shields her eyes] The ass, it is too fine! It hurts my eyes and touches my soul!
DUMBLEDORE: [kisses the baby's bottom, and a beam of light shines from it and blinds everyone except for Harry, who has awaken and is wearing cheap, huge clown glasses.]
RON: [is on fire still, and comes back from the dead] Hooray! Dumbledore blessed my child's ass! Go Butch! [dies again from a high cholesterol]
BUTCH: Check out this shit, everyone! [shakes his little baby butt and dances excitedly]
HERMIONE: Amazing.
JULIE: Shake it, Butch! Shake it! [gets a lapdance from the baby]
{A/N: Thanks, everyone for all the great reviews! Thanks to Weasley wonders: Glad you liked your cameo. And I'm still glad you like my story. You may have a cameo again later on, I'm not sure. Phredtheflyingmonkey: Hey dude Glad you like the story as well! If anyone wishes to appear and have a short part in my story, say so in your review. That's right, I'm MAKING you all review to get what you want. Til next time..Julie}
Where I left you off at: The friends were at cheerleading tryouts where Christie was the coach, and Ron went into labor.
[Everyone huddles around Ron]
HERMIONE: Quick! We need a doctor!
CHRISTIE: [sheds cheerleading uniform, revealing a white coat and name tag that says "Hello. My name is Doctor Christie."]
ALL: [gasp]
RON: No! It can't be! This can't be happening!
CHRISTIE: But it is. Now, do you remember everything I taught you in our Expectant Mother's class?
RON: [lays in the grass and spreads legs] I suppose.
CHRISTIE: Great. Hermione, fetch me a towel, and Harry, make yourself useful.
HARRY: [takes out a lollp-pop from his pocket and sucks on it]
CHRISTIE: And Julie, help me birth this baby.
JULIE: Okay! [shoves her hand up Ron's weenie]
RON: EEEEEEEEEE!!!! [screams like mini-me in Austin Powers]
JULIE: I can feel the butt! It's coming in the wrong way!
CHRISTIE: Then we shall have to do a c-section. Oh what the heck, Julie, cut his weenie off. [gets scissors from her doctor bag]
JULIE: Okay! [takes the scissors, which are the crayola cheap plastic kind]
CHRISTIE: Ooh, cheap plastic. This will be a long and painful process.
RON: My manhood! Please, doctor! Let me keep it!
HERMIONE: [hands the doctor the towel she was sent for] I know a faster way.
CHRISTIE: Then go for it. [plays with her scope thingy]
HERMIONE: [rips his weenie off with her bare hands, She places it in a Mason jar]
RON: [makes weird noises]
CHRISTIE: Great work. [hands Hermione a lolly pop]
HERMIONE: [licks it, while fingering Ron's naked bottom]
CHRISTIE: Okay Ron, now push hard. Remember your breathing techniques.
RON: [strains, and accidentally poops all over Christie's hands]
CHRISTIE: How dare you. [wipes the poop on Harry]
HARRY: [licks it off] Chocolate!
RON: Get this thing outta me!
CHRISTIE: I'm trying, quit shitting all over the place and hold still.
RON: [pushes, and a small round ass appears, sticking out of the hole where Ron's weenie use to be]
HARRY: [spanks the newborn's ass]
CHRISTIE: Harry, step away. You smell of shit. Julie, hand me the pliers,
JULIE: [checks the doctor's bag]
RON: No! I have a much safer and less painful way! [farts, and the baby squirts out and hits Harry in the back of the head]
HARRY: [falls to ground] Ahhyh!
RON: [dies of complications]
HERMIONE: Crap, my lover has died once again. He must be cremated this time. [lights a match to Ron's body]
JULIE: [picks the baby up from off Harry, where it is clinging onto his hair]
CHRISTIE: Hand me the bald and small one.
JULIE: [tosses her the baby]
CHRISTIE: Ooh, it's quite ugly. [makes a face]
JULIE: Yes, well what shall we name it? [pats at it with the towel]
CHRISTIE: Let's name it by combining Ron and Pansy's names. It shall forever be known as PonRonsy.
JULIE: No, let's name it Butch.
CHRISTIE: It shall be done.
HERMIONE: I want to hold Butch!
JULIE: You can breast-feed it I suppose.
HERMIONE: But I have no boobs.
JULIE: You freak! I should've known, by your masculine and ugly ways.
HERMIONE: [swings christie around her head by her scope thingy]
CHRISTIE: Let me down, you impudent ass!
HERMIONE: [lets go, and christie goes flying into the stands and hits Dumbledore, where he had been sitting watching the birthing process]
HARRY: [is still unconscious on the ground] Look, it's the headmaster!
[Dumbledore walks over, wiping Christie's blood off his kilt and stockings]
DUMBLEDORE: You all did a great job with the birthing. Now, hand me Butch and I shall bless her.
JULIE: [tosses him the baby] Here, you old fart.
DUMBLEDORE: [tosses it back and forth with Julie, playing catch for ten minutes, then stops and holds it up towards the sun] From this day on, you shall have the finest, roundest ass in all the land. Men and homosexual women will journey from miles and miles to look upon your fine ass.
JULIE: [shields her eyes] The ass, it is too fine! It hurts my eyes and touches my soul!
DUMBLEDORE: [kisses the baby's bottom, and a beam of light shines from it and blinds everyone except for Harry, who has awaken and is wearing cheap, huge clown glasses.]
RON: [is on fire still, and comes back from the dead] Hooray! Dumbledore blessed my child's ass! Go Butch! [dies again from a high cholesterol]
BUTCH: Check out this shit, everyone! [shakes his little baby butt and dances excitedly]
HERMIONE: Amazing.
JULIE: Shake it, Butch! Shake it! [gets a lapdance from the baby]
{A/N: Thanks, everyone for all the great reviews! Thanks to Weasley wonders: Glad you liked your cameo. And I'm still glad you like my story. You may have a cameo again later on, I'm not sure. Phredtheflyingmonkey: Hey dude Glad you like the story as well! If anyone wishes to appear and have a short part in my story, say so in your review. That's right, I'm MAKING you all review to get what you want. Til next time..Julie}