a/n: (a cunningly disguised disclaimer) I know I haven't said this anytime in the recent past. but I don't own anything but the computer I work with and the two season of red dwarf DVDs I'm trying to forever imprint on my brain.
The ship with the computer whose name I can't remember but I'm fairly certain was very female did that thing it does. And when I say that, you should all know that I mean that it has, once again changed dimensions. This time, our beloved Hero, Ace, Ace Rimmer, apppears into reality outside a tiny blue ship that we all recognize. His eyes widen with glee, or something akin to it, and he gets himself onto that ship as fast as he can.
The contents of that ship are mostly aware of his presense, although they don't know the importances of it. They are not who he thinks they are. He has set himself up for another disappointment in a long life of it.
He calls a name, a name of someone who is on this ship. But not like he remembered him. No, this is a quite different person than who he's looking for. But he doesn't know that until he runs into him.
"Listy!" He had been calling, before he found his target. He looks at him. Dressed in black. A ever familiar metallic 'H' on his forehead. "You've become a hologram?"
Said hologram stares back at him with no recognition. After a few moments.
"Rimmer?" He asked, Ace nods. "I thoought you were dead."
Ace realizes that something is Very Wrong.
"I'm not." He starts, and stops. The word 'home' appears in his mind and is then shattered into a million pieces by something that looks rather like a giant spork. "Lister."
"Yes?" The hologram says patiently, confirming Ace's belief that things are Very Wrong Indeed.
"Who survived the explosion of Red Dwarf?"
"Kris Kochanski." The reply is quick and easy, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"And you're the hologram who kept her sane?"
"Yes." Again, patient.
"So... where is she?"
"She's in another dimension." This Lister's face falls, crumples. "Where I was the survivor."
"She's gone."
"Yes."
"I see."
And so this Lister and Ace decide to have dinner, so they can talk.
"I was once in a universe where you survived and the hologram was me." Ace says, later in the evening, Lister looks at him.
"You? Rimmer? You were sent to keep me sane?" The Lister sort of laughs.
"Yeah. Was the Rimmer in this dimension an anal retentive git with a fondness for big words he didn't really know the meaning of?" Ace askes, trying to not be insulted, despite the fact that he is, in fact, insulting himself.
"That was Rimsy." Lister replies, again almost laughing.
"Well, that was the Rimmer brought back to keep you, well, the other you, sane. Consequently, the other Lister is nowhere near as..." Ace waves his hand in a descriptive manner, the word on the tip of his tongue.
"Yeah. That was what the Lister in the dimension that Kris is in was like."
"Was he? Perhaps I've been there before."
"Yeah, but his Rimmer was missing."
"Did he seem..." Ace sighs to himsef "Upset about that?"
"I'm not sure. I think he was still shocked at the whole alternate him and Kris."
"That's Listy for you." Ace mutters.
"Sorry?"
"Oh nothing. Why do you suppose he was shocked?"
"Well, I think he figured out exactly the hologram is brought back for."
"Oh?"
"Well, you see, when Holly selects a personality, several things are taken into account. Relationship status, which is usually based on how many words you've shared with a person. General compatability. And that's person's feelings about the still living person. See, I've loved Krissie for as long as I can remember. She was in my plan. But until I stopped being a stupid git, she hated me. So the living Lister, the not me, the me as I was, as I understand it was loved unconditionally by-"
"Rimmer. Just as he was." Ace finishes for him.
"Yeah. But the Rimmer was gone. So... maybe he's upset now?"
"Yes. Maybe." Ace says, trailing off, staring at the wall fixedly.
After several minutes of this, this dimensions Kryten cleans the dishes and this Lister excuses himself and goes to bed.
Lister rises to find a note that says 'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!' on the pillow next to him and mutter irritabley "What a guy..." before drifting back to sleep.
Ace Rimmer tells his decidedly female ship he needs to find a replacement. And fast. He needs to get back home.
The ship with the computer whose name I can't remember but I'm fairly certain was very female did that thing it does. And when I say that, you should all know that I mean that it has, once again changed dimensions. This time, our beloved Hero, Ace, Ace Rimmer, apppears into reality outside a tiny blue ship that we all recognize. His eyes widen with glee, or something akin to it, and he gets himself onto that ship as fast as he can.
The contents of that ship are mostly aware of his presense, although they don't know the importances of it. They are not who he thinks they are. He has set himself up for another disappointment in a long life of it.
He calls a name, a name of someone who is on this ship. But not like he remembered him. No, this is a quite different person than who he's looking for. But he doesn't know that until he runs into him.
"Listy!" He had been calling, before he found his target. He looks at him. Dressed in black. A ever familiar metallic 'H' on his forehead. "You've become a hologram?"
Said hologram stares back at him with no recognition. After a few moments.
"Rimmer?" He asked, Ace nods. "I thoought you were dead."
Ace realizes that something is Very Wrong.
"I'm not." He starts, and stops. The word 'home' appears in his mind and is then shattered into a million pieces by something that looks rather like a giant spork. "Lister."
"Yes?" The hologram says patiently, confirming Ace's belief that things are Very Wrong Indeed.
"Who survived the explosion of Red Dwarf?"
"Kris Kochanski." The reply is quick and easy, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"And you're the hologram who kept her sane?"
"Yes." Again, patient.
"So... where is she?"
"She's in another dimension." This Lister's face falls, crumples. "Where I was the survivor."
"She's gone."
"Yes."
"I see."
And so this Lister and Ace decide to have dinner, so they can talk.
"I was once in a universe where you survived and the hologram was me." Ace says, later in the evening, Lister looks at him.
"You? Rimmer? You were sent to keep me sane?" The Lister sort of laughs.
"Yeah. Was the Rimmer in this dimension an anal retentive git with a fondness for big words he didn't really know the meaning of?" Ace askes, trying to not be insulted, despite the fact that he is, in fact, insulting himself.
"That was Rimsy." Lister replies, again almost laughing.
"Well, that was the Rimmer brought back to keep you, well, the other you, sane. Consequently, the other Lister is nowhere near as..." Ace waves his hand in a descriptive manner, the word on the tip of his tongue.
"Yeah. That was what the Lister in the dimension that Kris is in was like."
"Was he? Perhaps I've been there before."
"Yeah, but his Rimmer was missing."
"Did he seem..." Ace sighs to himsef "Upset about that?"
"I'm not sure. I think he was still shocked at the whole alternate him and Kris."
"That's Listy for you." Ace mutters.
"Sorry?"
"Oh nothing. Why do you suppose he was shocked?"
"Well, I think he figured out exactly the hologram is brought back for."
"Oh?"
"Well, you see, when Holly selects a personality, several things are taken into account. Relationship status, which is usually based on how many words you've shared with a person. General compatability. And that's person's feelings about the still living person. See, I've loved Krissie for as long as I can remember. She was in my plan. But until I stopped being a stupid git, she hated me. So the living Lister, the not me, the me as I was, as I understand it was loved unconditionally by-"
"Rimmer. Just as he was." Ace finishes for him.
"Yeah. But the Rimmer was gone. So... maybe he's upset now?"
"Yes. Maybe." Ace says, trailing off, staring at the wall fixedly.
After several minutes of this, this dimensions Kryten cleans the dishes and this Lister excuses himself and goes to bed.
Lister rises to find a note that says 'Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!' on the pillow next to him and mutter irritabley "What a guy..." before drifting back to sleep.
Ace Rimmer tells his decidedly female ship he needs to find a replacement. And fast. He needs to get back home.