I ran into the dining hall. I wasn't sure if Josie would be there but I had
to tell her. I couldn't live with this anymore. She'd understand. Like, I
didn't even realize it was her diary until it was too late. I mean I had no
idea. I'm a guy! To be a diary I would expect her to write 'Dear Diary'
first right? It's like a red flag! For all I could've know it was a day
planner.
Dammit! Adam, stop lying! I knew it was her diary the second she basically started pouring out her soul!
I skidded to a stop as soon as I saw her sitting with the Ducks, uncomfortably, I might add. I took a deep breath and began to walk over to our table. I was going to tell her. She could slap me and we would get over this. It was just another bump in the road.
"Hey Banks! Look who decided to grace us with his presence." Averman grinned, nervously laughing. I could tell everyone was on edge around me. What were they afraid I was going to snap? Lose it? Jump up on the table and begin to hit my head uncontrollably? No, no and no.
Josie decided to avoid my eyes. I bit my lip nervously. "Hey Josie, can I talk to you alone?" I figured if I were going to tell her, I'd tell her in private that way she wouldn't be so embarrassed. It was the least I could do.
Josie nodded slowly and looked over at Charlie who smiled encouragingly at her. She pulled at her sleeves nervously and allowed me to take her hand and pull her out into the hall away from everyone.
I took another breath. "Hi."
She nodded. "Hey."
I opened my mouth to tell her, but it seemed to get stuck in my throat. The guilty rumbling in my stomach warned me not to. This time I wasn't guilty of reading her diary, but of knowing that if I told her she would be ruined.
I blinked. If I told her she may have another 'incident'. I was a person she trusted. If I told her that I did something to break her trust, her entire life that she built up would be ruined. How could I be so selfish and do that?
"Adam?" She whispered quietly.
I jumped at the sound of my name. "You love me right?"
She frowned at my question. "Yes, of course I do; why?"
"So you wouldn't break-up with me right?"
"What!" She yelped looking around her nervously. "Adam what are you talking about?"
"Promise me you won't break-up with me." I blurted out.
Her breathing got heavy and her eyes welled up. "Adam, you can't do that. I can't promise you that." She bit her lip hard. "Adam you're scaring me. What's going on?"
"I just want to make sure that we don't break up over something really trivial," I explained the best I could, "Because I love you too much to give up on you over something really stupid, like today and how I acted. And I'm so sorry for that. Please just promise me you won't; you wouldn't."
A single tear toppled down her cheek as she nodded. "I promise. I promise." She swallowed wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in close.
I wrapped both arms around her waist holding her as she stopped shivering. "Thank you." I whispered in her ear, kissing her shoulder.
"You scared me Adam. Don't ever do that again." Her voice quivered in tears. "God you scared me."
I pulled away from her and quickly wiped away the tears that were slowly staining her cheeks and got this crazy idea in my head and began to tug at the simple gold band around my pinkie.
Josie frowned and sniffed. "Adam, what are you doing now?" She half laughed at me, shaking her head completely puzzled.
In a quick motion making her jump, I pull the ring off with a grin. "My dad got me this after we won the Goodwill Games." I grabbed her hand and sat it in her palm. "You have it."
"What! No!" She yelped trying to hand it back to me. "What am I supposed to do with it?"
I laughed and took it out of her hand and shoved it on her index finger. "Wear it, you silly girl. It's promising you that we're going to make it. Win."
Her bottom lip quivered as she calmed down from the suddenness of it all. "Ok." She said uneasily, and shook her head trying to rid herself of her doubts. I could just see it on her face. "What was wrong this morning anyways?" she asked, intertwining our fingers and beginning to lean us back to our table.
I quickly kissed her hand. "Don't worry about it. It wasn't you." The pit of my stomach dropped. I couldn't stop brushing it off.
She nodded and let go of my hand, walking ahead to grab her books from where she had been sitting before.
Fulton stood up as he noticed that her eyes were bloodshot from her tears and walked over to me. Ever since William hit her that one time, he was fairly protective of her, much like he was with some of us on the ice. "What happened?" His voice didn't even have the slightest accusatory sound in it, just worried.
"We kind of scared each other." I admitted, looking past him. I couldn't just lie to someone on our team. I scratched my ear and waited of Josie to come over to me.
Fulton frowned. "Scared each other?" He glanced over at Josie and back at me. "I thought you were fearless."
My stomach seemed to drop again. "You'd be surprised." I mumbled quietly.
~*~
I nervously walked into my grade eleven math class, hand in hand with Josie. Seeing it was February, I had long lost my first day jitters, and now since the rediscovery of this dreaded disk and now this promise and ring business, I felt lower than pond scum. I felt like what scum fed off of. I was like . . . plankton. Guilt had completely taken over my body. I jaggedly took my seat at the very front of the class by the window trying my best to ignore Josie, despite the fact that I promised her I would never do that ever again, no longer than ten minutes before, who sat behind me. You see Banks, Best. We're side by side on roll call. I looked up at the ceiling and silently cursed the original caveman who decided to stop hunting some dinosaur and sat down and came up with 'alphabetical' order.
You hear that?
Curses!
The weird thing was that all class, she didn't even try to talk to me. I mean not even a tap on the shoulder to explain the stupid math problems we had been working on for the last couple days, even though both she and I knew neither I nor her need help with them, but that was beside the point! The point is that we are now, because of me . . . in a completely committed relationship and she didn't even ask if something was wrong, or why I was deathly silent, or even ask to compare answers as we always did.
My knee decided to jump under my desk like a jackhammer on pavement as I got more and more edgy. I stared down at the problem that I had written down a while ago in a quick scrawl, but my brain had already decided without consulting me that it was not going to focus on my math homework. Normally when I got like this I would turn around and talk to Josie, but it turns out that I have no backbone. Yes, I'm a pushover. A guilty little jellyfish.
I frowned and glared at my notebook. But my notebook decided to do something back to me. The numbers I had written down seemed to morph into letters which rearrange themselves into four words.
YOU READ THE DIARY!
I yelped and slammed my notebook closed, breathing deep. My math notebook, did not, and I repeat, did not accuse me of reading my girlfriend's diary. I looked over my shoulder at the other people in my class who were beginning to look at me funny. I turned around and faced forward. "Snobs." I muttered under my breath. Haven't they ever seen a person have a mental breakdown before?
"Adam!" Josie hissed, making me jump and spin around to face her. She blinked slightly troubled at my reaction. "What's really up with you today? You're still acting . . ." She stopped searching for the correct word. ". . . funky?"
I shrugged, wringing my hands in my lap. "I think I should switch to decaffeinated coffee."
She scoffed and smirked, shaking her dark hair out of her eye. "You don't even drink coffee. You said that it would stunt your growth, I believe were your exact words, even though I'm quite sure you don't have anything to worry about." She leaned over her desk and forehead crinkled in interest, focusing solely on me. "What is it really?"
I swallowed. God was kind. He gave me a second chance.
"Adam, you can tell me." She encouraged me.
God was being completely and blatantly obvious.
"Adam?"
I shook head. "Nerves I guess, you know, hockey season is coming to a close, and those mid-term exams, their creeping up too . . ." And I flushed it down the toilet . . .
"And that project of yours." She added in.
I jumped. "Project! What project?"
Josie cocked an eyebrow suspiciously. "That project that you were talking about at breakfast. The one that you had to blow most of lunch off for to start . . ." She blinked. "Am I talking to a wall? Do you remember any of this? Does this seem familiar?"
"Oh!" I yelped. Hadn't she been sitting in front of me I would have slapped myself. "Did I say project? It's more of this research assignment in my World Geography class. It's really dumb, and I only have a couple days to work on it." I replied covering for myself.
"What is it on?" She asked completely innocently.
"Geography, I just told you that!" I smiled, stretching out.
She shook her head quickly. "No, I mean the topic." She rested her chin on her hand. "What's the topic?"
Shit!! Topic. . . Ok, I needed a topic. "Oh! I knew that!" I laughed. "It's on . . . Canada." I nodded quickly before she could question that. "It's about how we have affected Canada; the culture . . . the buildings . . . all that." I blinked. Hadn't I known better, I would've believed it myself.
"Oh." She shrugged. "So do you have to go back to the library and work on it later or something?" She said turning back to her math, tapping her pencil on the paper.
I shook my head nervously. "No, I finished researching it at lunch today. I just have to put together the paper and hand it in."
She looked up and grinned. "You have hockey practice tonight right?"
I nodded. "Yeah, at four and tomorrow I have track." I groaned. I didn't mind skating laps, but running laps, with hurdles weren't fun.
"You don't think that Orion will mind if I sit in the stands and do my homework do you?" She blushed softly. "I swear my new room is haunted and I do not want to be in there without Julie."
I smirked. "It isn't haunted. Besides, you're on the ground floor, you'll be fine. If your personal Casper comes to haunt you, you could just jump out the window and run over to my dorm."
She narrowed her eyes. "It's haunted. Julie said that Connie was obsessed with that Ouiji board of hers freshmen year and she probably let out a ghost or something."
I smirked. "Do you think the Ghostbusters travel over state lines or just stick to New York?"
She slapped my arm lightly. "Don't make fun. I have to sleep in that room!"
The bell rang, forcing us out of our math class. "Orion won't mind as long as you don't leak any of our plays, or strategies to the . . . the McAllister Prep Muck Dogs?" I shook my head. "God that must suck. Go Muck Dogs?" I laughed lazily throwing an arm over her shoulder.
"Oh, yes. Saturday's game should be good. The arena will be filled with barking and quacking." She sighed.
"You are coming right?"
She looked up at me and smirked. "No, I have to go to my other loyal and trustworthy hockey playing boyfriend's game! Of course I'm coming!"
The grin on my face fell and crashed on the floor. Loyal. Trustworthy. Hockey Player.
One out of three isn't that bad right?
~
*
~
*
~
*
A/N: *sighs* I just had the best day EVER! *sighs some more* Ok, yes my science presentation was postponed, and I wrote the most of the next chapter in my Careers class, but the ironic . . . really really cute Peter guy . . . *sighs* I'm not going to bore you, I'm just sort of floating on cloud nine so . . . if I stop making sense at anytime, just go with it and laugh it off saying 'Oh that Katie . . .'Anyways . . . ok not liking this chapter so much, mainly because I wrote it before last chapter and I was going to go a completely different way, and parts of it didn't fit so I had to fix it slightly, and now I don't like it as much. *sighs* Ok I have my parental breathing down my neck again so I have to hurry up.
Shout outs
Beaner- Hey you! I'm so glad you loved last chapter and I was kind of scared when I finished Adam's dream. I was like holy shit! Where did that come from! I didn't even have a scary movie marathon! *giggles* remember that one review I gave for 'Isn't Murder Fun?' Yeah Adam chickened out with telling Charlie and now with telling Josie! Ok, I had to poke fun at Michael Jackson sometime! That is one of my favorite lines when I'm being sarcastic when I'm at school. I've used it so many times and yet I still get laughs! Yuppers, you were one of the first to actually get your Ducky. You should feel honored. I mean how many people actually get to borrow one of the original Ducks? Anywho, talk later!
Shelbers- Hey it works for me! None of the Ducks want Linda back so . . . she's the devil and the prefect for blackmail! Ooh! That's cool! I wasn't really thinking of the Canucks when I wrote that but now I am! Ooh! Go me! Writing about current events without even knowing it! Hockey is just a game and some players take it way too seriously! Some FANS take it way to seriously. Yes Adam did get another chance, and well, you saw how that turned out. Hey! I enjoy long winded reviews! So talk away! I'm long winded too! Oh the Ducks don't really blame you; they blame me for waking up so early and writing! What is this world coming to!
Rach- Hey! Oh!! Were you scared of my dream? I'm so glad you were confused! I didn't want you to know what was happening and then all of a sudden BAM! It's all clear. Yeah, poor Adam, I don't know if he would be able to survive in prison. Oh! I love scaring the shit out of Adam! And I love writing Charlie! Averman may be the awesome at rants, but Charlie, he has his odd, crazy babble. Yeah, I think I may bring back the 'Blur' again just for the hell of it. It seemed to fit so well! Yeah, we Canadians are pretty weird. But guess what's weirder? Sometimes people bind papers together and guess what they call them? Books! *nods* it's this weird thing . . . I will show you some time ok? lol! It's official? Do you have some officiating stamp thing? Or is it like a list? I'm so happy that I brightened your day! Anytime ok?
That's it!!
REVIEW!!
~Toodles
KatieGurl
Dammit! Adam, stop lying! I knew it was her diary the second she basically started pouring out her soul!
I skidded to a stop as soon as I saw her sitting with the Ducks, uncomfortably, I might add. I took a deep breath and began to walk over to our table. I was going to tell her. She could slap me and we would get over this. It was just another bump in the road.
"Hey Banks! Look who decided to grace us with his presence." Averman grinned, nervously laughing. I could tell everyone was on edge around me. What were they afraid I was going to snap? Lose it? Jump up on the table and begin to hit my head uncontrollably? No, no and no.
Josie decided to avoid my eyes. I bit my lip nervously. "Hey Josie, can I talk to you alone?" I figured if I were going to tell her, I'd tell her in private that way she wouldn't be so embarrassed. It was the least I could do.
Josie nodded slowly and looked over at Charlie who smiled encouragingly at her. She pulled at her sleeves nervously and allowed me to take her hand and pull her out into the hall away from everyone.
I took another breath. "Hi."
She nodded. "Hey."
I opened my mouth to tell her, but it seemed to get stuck in my throat. The guilty rumbling in my stomach warned me not to. This time I wasn't guilty of reading her diary, but of knowing that if I told her she would be ruined.
I blinked. If I told her she may have another 'incident'. I was a person she trusted. If I told her that I did something to break her trust, her entire life that she built up would be ruined. How could I be so selfish and do that?
"Adam?" She whispered quietly.
I jumped at the sound of my name. "You love me right?"
She frowned at my question. "Yes, of course I do; why?"
"So you wouldn't break-up with me right?"
"What!" She yelped looking around her nervously. "Adam what are you talking about?"
"Promise me you won't break-up with me." I blurted out.
Her breathing got heavy and her eyes welled up. "Adam, you can't do that. I can't promise you that." She bit her lip hard. "Adam you're scaring me. What's going on?"
"I just want to make sure that we don't break up over something really trivial," I explained the best I could, "Because I love you too much to give up on you over something really stupid, like today and how I acted. And I'm so sorry for that. Please just promise me you won't; you wouldn't."
A single tear toppled down her cheek as she nodded. "I promise. I promise." She swallowed wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in close.
I wrapped both arms around her waist holding her as she stopped shivering. "Thank you." I whispered in her ear, kissing her shoulder.
"You scared me Adam. Don't ever do that again." Her voice quivered in tears. "God you scared me."
I pulled away from her and quickly wiped away the tears that were slowly staining her cheeks and got this crazy idea in my head and began to tug at the simple gold band around my pinkie.
Josie frowned and sniffed. "Adam, what are you doing now?" She half laughed at me, shaking her head completely puzzled.
In a quick motion making her jump, I pull the ring off with a grin. "My dad got me this after we won the Goodwill Games." I grabbed her hand and sat it in her palm. "You have it."
"What! No!" She yelped trying to hand it back to me. "What am I supposed to do with it?"
I laughed and took it out of her hand and shoved it on her index finger. "Wear it, you silly girl. It's promising you that we're going to make it. Win."
Her bottom lip quivered as she calmed down from the suddenness of it all. "Ok." She said uneasily, and shook her head trying to rid herself of her doubts. I could just see it on her face. "What was wrong this morning anyways?" she asked, intertwining our fingers and beginning to lean us back to our table.
I quickly kissed her hand. "Don't worry about it. It wasn't you." The pit of my stomach dropped. I couldn't stop brushing it off.
She nodded and let go of my hand, walking ahead to grab her books from where she had been sitting before.
Fulton stood up as he noticed that her eyes were bloodshot from her tears and walked over to me. Ever since William hit her that one time, he was fairly protective of her, much like he was with some of us on the ice. "What happened?" His voice didn't even have the slightest accusatory sound in it, just worried.
"We kind of scared each other." I admitted, looking past him. I couldn't just lie to someone on our team. I scratched my ear and waited of Josie to come over to me.
Fulton frowned. "Scared each other?" He glanced over at Josie and back at me. "I thought you were fearless."
My stomach seemed to drop again. "You'd be surprised." I mumbled quietly.
~*~
I nervously walked into my grade eleven math class, hand in hand with Josie. Seeing it was February, I had long lost my first day jitters, and now since the rediscovery of this dreaded disk and now this promise and ring business, I felt lower than pond scum. I felt like what scum fed off of. I was like . . . plankton. Guilt had completely taken over my body. I jaggedly took my seat at the very front of the class by the window trying my best to ignore Josie, despite the fact that I promised her I would never do that ever again, no longer than ten minutes before, who sat behind me. You see Banks, Best. We're side by side on roll call. I looked up at the ceiling and silently cursed the original caveman who decided to stop hunting some dinosaur and sat down and came up with 'alphabetical' order.
You hear that?
Curses!
The weird thing was that all class, she didn't even try to talk to me. I mean not even a tap on the shoulder to explain the stupid math problems we had been working on for the last couple days, even though both she and I knew neither I nor her need help with them, but that was beside the point! The point is that we are now, because of me . . . in a completely committed relationship and she didn't even ask if something was wrong, or why I was deathly silent, or even ask to compare answers as we always did.
My knee decided to jump under my desk like a jackhammer on pavement as I got more and more edgy. I stared down at the problem that I had written down a while ago in a quick scrawl, but my brain had already decided without consulting me that it was not going to focus on my math homework. Normally when I got like this I would turn around and talk to Josie, but it turns out that I have no backbone. Yes, I'm a pushover. A guilty little jellyfish.
I frowned and glared at my notebook. But my notebook decided to do something back to me. The numbers I had written down seemed to morph into letters which rearrange themselves into four words.
YOU READ THE DIARY!
I yelped and slammed my notebook closed, breathing deep. My math notebook, did not, and I repeat, did not accuse me of reading my girlfriend's diary. I looked over my shoulder at the other people in my class who were beginning to look at me funny. I turned around and faced forward. "Snobs." I muttered under my breath. Haven't they ever seen a person have a mental breakdown before?
"Adam!" Josie hissed, making me jump and spin around to face her. She blinked slightly troubled at my reaction. "What's really up with you today? You're still acting . . ." She stopped searching for the correct word. ". . . funky?"
I shrugged, wringing my hands in my lap. "I think I should switch to decaffeinated coffee."
She scoffed and smirked, shaking her dark hair out of her eye. "You don't even drink coffee. You said that it would stunt your growth, I believe were your exact words, even though I'm quite sure you don't have anything to worry about." She leaned over her desk and forehead crinkled in interest, focusing solely on me. "What is it really?"
I swallowed. God was kind. He gave me a second chance.
"Adam, you can tell me." She encouraged me.
God was being completely and blatantly obvious.
"Adam?"
I shook head. "Nerves I guess, you know, hockey season is coming to a close, and those mid-term exams, their creeping up too . . ." And I flushed it down the toilet . . .
"And that project of yours." She added in.
I jumped. "Project! What project?"
Josie cocked an eyebrow suspiciously. "That project that you were talking about at breakfast. The one that you had to blow most of lunch off for to start . . ." She blinked. "Am I talking to a wall? Do you remember any of this? Does this seem familiar?"
"Oh!" I yelped. Hadn't she been sitting in front of me I would have slapped myself. "Did I say project? It's more of this research assignment in my World Geography class. It's really dumb, and I only have a couple days to work on it." I replied covering for myself.
"What is it on?" She asked completely innocently.
"Geography, I just told you that!" I smiled, stretching out.
She shook her head quickly. "No, I mean the topic." She rested her chin on her hand. "What's the topic?"
Shit!! Topic. . . Ok, I needed a topic. "Oh! I knew that!" I laughed. "It's on . . . Canada." I nodded quickly before she could question that. "It's about how we have affected Canada; the culture . . . the buildings . . . all that." I blinked. Hadn't I known better, I would've believed it myself.
"Oh." She shrugged. "So do you have to go back to the library and work on it later or something?" She said turning back to her math, tapping her pencil on the paper.
I shook my head nervously. "No, I finished researching it at lunch today. I just have to put together the paper and hand it in."
She looked up and grinned. "You have hockey practice tonight right?"
I nodded. "Yeah, at four and tomorrow I have track." I groaned. I didn't mind skating laps, but running laps, with hurdles weren't fun.
"You don't think that Orion will mind if I sit in the stands and do my homework do you?" She blushed softly. "I swear my new room is haunted and I do not want to be in there without Julie."
I smirked. "It isn't haunted. Besides, you're on the ground floor, you'll be fine. If your personal Casper comes to haunt you, you could just jump out the window and run over to my dorm."
She narrowed her eyes. "It's haunted. Julie said that Connie was obsessed with that Ouiji board of hers freshmen year and she probably let out a ghost or something."
I smirked. "Do you think the Ghostbusters travel over state lines or just stick to New York?"
She slapped my arm lightly. "Don't make fun. I have to sleep in that room!"
The bell rang, forcing us out of our math class. "Orion won't mind as long as you don't leak any of our plays, or strategies to the . . . the McAllister Prep Muck Dogs?" I shook my head. "God that must suck. Go Muck Dogs?" I laughed lazily throwing an arm over her shoulder.
"Oh, yes. Saturday's game should be good. The arena will be filled with barking and quacking." She sighed.
"You are coming right?"
She looked up at me and smirked. "No, I have to go to my other loyal and trustworthy hockey playing boyfriend's game! Of course I'm coming!"
The grin on my face fell and crashed on the floor. Loyal. Trustworthy. Hockey Player.
One out of three isn't that bad right?
~
*
~
*
~
*
A/N: *sighs* I just had the best day EVER! *sighs some more* Ok, yes my science presentation was postponed, and I wrote the most of the next chapter in my Careers class, but the ironic . . . really really cute Peter guy . . . *sighs* I'm not going to bore you, I'm just sort of floating on cloud nine so . . . if I stop making sense at anytime, just go with it and laugh it off saying 'Oh that Katie . . .'Anyways . . . ok not liking this chapter so much, mainly because I wrote it before last chapter and I was going to go a completely different way, and parts of it didn't fit so I had to fix it slightly, and now I don't like it as much. *sighs* Ok I have my parental breathing down my neck again so I have to hurry up.
Shout outs
Beaner- Hey you! I'm so glad you loved last chapter and I was kind of scared when I finished Adam's dream. I was like holy shit! Where did that come from! I didn't even have a scary movie marathon! *giggles* remember that one review I gave for 'Isn't Murder Fun?' Yeah Adam chickened out with telling Charlie and now with telling Josie! Ok, I had to poke fun at Michael Jackson sometime! That is one of my favorite lines when I'm being sarcastic when I'm at school. I've used it so many times and yet I still get laughs! Yuppers, you were one of the first to actually get your Ducky. You should feel honored. I mean how many people actually get to borrow one of the original Ducks? Anywho, talk later!
Shelbers- Hey it works for me! None of the Ducks want Linda back so . . . she's the devil and the prefect for blackmail! Ooh! That's cool! I wasn't really thinking of the Canucks when I wrote that but now I am! Ooh! Go me! Writing about current events without even knowing it! Hockey is just a game and some players take it way too seriously! Some FANS take it way to seriously. Yes Adam did get another chance, and well, you saw how that turned out. Hey! I enjoy long winded reviews! So talk away! I'm long winded too! Oh the Ducks don't really blame you; they blame me for waking up so early and writing! What is this world coming to!
Rach- Hey! Oh!! Were you scared of my dream? I'm so glad you were confused! I didn't want you to know what was happening and then all of a sudden BAM! It's all clear. Yeah, poor Adam, I don't know if he would be able to survive in prison. Oh! I love scaring the shit out of Adam! And I love writing Charlie! Averman may be the awesome at rants, but Charlie, he has his odd, crazy babble. Yeah, I think I may bring back the 'Blur' again just for the hell of it. It seemed to fit so well! Yeah, we Canadians are pretty weird. But guess what's weirder? Sometimes people bind papers together and guess what they call them? Books! *nods* it's this weird thing . . . I will show you some time ok? lol! It's official? Do you have some officiating stamp thing? Or is it like a list? I'm so happy that I brightened your day! Anytime ok?
That's it!!
REVIEW!!
~Toodles
KatieGurl