Author's note: I'm trying writing format—I might alternate between play format and normal… ah well. Also, I can't help but feel very hypocritical for writing out the politics republicans/democrats as evil/good, but… I hope nobody takes any offense.
As Leo read the accounts of the muffin amendment disaster, memories came back of the darker times. Grimly, he set out for Donna's apartment, he needed to know the truth—now.
DONNA'S APARTMENT
Front porch
"Thanks for the ride, Josh," Donna called out.
"Good night, Donna!" Josh called out as he got in his car.
"Good night."
A few minutes after Josh had left, Leo parked his car a block away, there was no need to attract attention, and rang the doorbell.
"Is it secret! Is it safe?" Donna, wearing red pajama pants and a plain gray sweater practically jumped at seeing Leo at the door.
"Is wha-"
"The muffin!"
"Yes, yes."
"Donna, I need to see the muffin!"
"Alright," she said hesitatingly, "Come on in. It's in the kitchen."
As she passed through the apartment she flicked on the electric lights, (opposed to, you know, lighting candles or such.)
He could feel It's presence upon crossing the threshold of the kitchen. There It was, sitting atop Donna's toaster oven, waiting…
"Can you tell what kind of muffin it is without eating it, Donna?"
"It's definitely blueberry," she responded, taking the muffin in her hand and looking at it closely.
"And, the bottom, is there anything on the bottom?"
She turned the muffin over delicately.
"No," she answered. "What's going on Leo?"
Leo sighed in relief.
"Thank God—"
"Wait!" Donna stopped, slowly she pealed off the wax paper. "There is something. I can't quite make it out. There's a star, and around that. Well it looks like a seal—an official seal, not the sea mammal," she laughed, "What does it say? there's writing in the background, but it's too small for me to read."
"There are few who can," Leo said solemnly, "It says 'One Muffin to rule them all, One Muffin to find them, One Muffin to bring them all, and in the Blindness bind them.' You are holding The Muffin of Power. Governor Ritchie—backed by the all the powerful conservatives in the land created it secretly—and illegally I might add, in the dark offices of the GOP." Donna had immediately gone into her 'digesting information' mode, her face intent.
"Debbie got it, from Margaret."
"Yes, I fear Margaret has had for a few weeks, it changed her…sort of. But no longer. Evil is stirring in D.C. These past years have been good, at least, they could be worse. Bartlet is a good leader of the free world, and he's a democratic president, if Ritchie had won—we'd be waging a war on civil liberties, countries over the world, we would probably destroy the UN, gay rights, human rights, and not to mention the environment would be worse off—if that's even possible. If a republican gets his hands on that muffin…"
"Leo, it's a muffin." She interrupted then paused, giving him time to understand the significance of the 'muffin' part, "What's the big deal?"
"The bearer of THAT muffin would be granted all the powers of the legislative branch, the judicial branch, and the executive branch, that's the difference."
"Says who?" She demanded, glaring incredulously. "That's impossible."
Leo handed her the constitution, and pointed to Amendment 23 ½ . She looked up at him in disbelief.
"Why don't I know about this amendment? My God, Leo, this has to be some kind of joke. How could the public allow—heck, the constitution doesn't even allow this kind of thing. It's, it's unconstitutional and ludicrous! It's a muffin."
Leo sighed sadly. "I'm not done yet. This muffin has incredible power—not just politically, but—for lack of a more serious word—magically. This, ah, blueberry muffin has the power to change the world, to rule every country, and to destroy everything good humanity cherishes. I don't know how Ritchie and the GOP created it, but there we go. Remember Senator Leach?"
"Vaguely, is he the one who died in a car accident?"
"It was no accident." Leo said flatly. "Leach had the muffin. He and Ritchie had been working together, and somehow Ritchie left the muffin with him. Leach stole the muffin, but only had it for a week before he died."
"God."
"Do you usually use the Lord's name so often in vain?" Leo demanded, receiving a curious look from Donna. "Anyway, in that week, Leach had time to amend the constitution."
"In one week?" Donna asked incredulously.
"With the power of the Muffin backing him up in congress, amending the constitution becomes a fairly simple process." Leo explained dryly. "No member of congress remembers, although if anyone looked, they would find all the data on it, including the legislation. But that's the thing," Leo said darkly, "Nobody looks."
Donna stared at the muffin in her hand.
"So," she started quietly, "not one single person realized that there was a new amendment to the constitution, for Pete's sake?"
"23 ½." Leo corrected, "Even I forgot about it these past years, but when I saw Deborah with the muffin… It was only then I realized what could be happening. The muffin has awoken. It's heard its master's call."
"But we beat Ritchie!" Donna cried desperately.
Leo stared at Donna. "No Donna, the spirit of Ritchie endured. His political life is bound to the muffin, and the muffin survived. Everywhere, more and more people are turning republican. He is regaining strength, making newer and strong connections in the land of the GOP. They need only this muffin to cover all the lands in a second darkness. They are seeking it. Seeking it, all their resources are bent on it. The muffin years above all else to return to Ritchie's hands. They are one. Donna, he must never find it."
Donna's eyes widened.
"Alright, we eat it! No one will get it."
"You wouldn't be able to eat it if you tried," Leo said sadly. "At the most you can nibble, but that's it. It's uneatable."
"Okay, I'll hide it. Nobody knows it's here, do they? Do they, Leo?"
"There was one who knew that Deborah had the Muffin."
"Margaret."
"I stopped by her house before coming here, but it was too late. The enemy found her first. I don't know how the got it out of her—but they did."
"But… eventually that would lead them here!" Donna cried out, shivering despite the warmth of her pajamas. "Take it Leo, why did you give this to me! I don't want it. Take it!"
Leo looked surprised and afraid, "No Donna, no!"
"It's not mine." Donna said stubbornly.
"You cannot offer me this muffin!"
"Well it's not like you're going t0 eat it or use it for evil!" she insisted. "I'm giving it to you!"
"Donna," Leo said quietly, "Don't tempt me. I dare not take it, not even for safekeeping. Understand, I would use it from the desire to do good. But through me it would turn all my actions towards a cause too great and terrible to imagine. I would be more dangerous than Ritchie."
"I can't keep it in my house!" She complained.
"No. You can't." Leo said quietly.
"Oh." Donna breathed, "That's it. What do I need to do?" She already starts towards her bedroom, Leo follows her, she grabs an already packed duffle bag.
"You must leave, and leave quickly."
She gave him a sudden suspicious look, "You're not firing me, are you?"
"No."
"This has nothing to do with Josh, does it?"
"Again Donna, stop being silly. No."
"Okay, where do I need to go?"
"Outside D.C. as soon as possible. Meet me at Starbucks tomorrow morning, then we're going to Tahiti."
"What? Will the muffin be safe there?"
"I don't know Donna, I don't have any answers. Be careful, don't leave your apartment until then."
"Okay. I'll be ready."
Leo stopped, and looked at her, pride shining in his eyes.
"My dear Donna, you assistants really are amazing creatures! You can learn about their ways in a month, and yet after a four years, they can still surprise you."
They here a loud noise from Donna's living room.
"Shhhh!" Leo hissed, "Get down!" Leo disappeared into the living room, then returned with Josh, pulling him by his ear.
"Aiiiiee, Leo, stop it!" Josh cringed.
"Confound it Josh, have you been listening the whole time?"
TBC