Mark got to the end of her note and realized he'd been holding his breath. Thankfully she wasn't working today. He'd have a day to mull over that before he saw her. Her honesty was terrifying. He could still barely believe that she loved him. But rationality demanded its truth. A martini with extra lime – of course, her drink, her favourite drink. He smiled at the memory. He started reading at the start again. Had he always done what was best for her? He doubted it. But then he thought about it, challenging his every memory. Before she'd left she had been pretty near his highest priority. What about the day she left? Telling her he loved her as she boarded that train? That was for him. It hadn't been best for her.
Befriending her now… that was what he wanted, maybe even needed. But was it best for her? He could give her what she wanted – he could love her. But he knew that he was in no place to do that and it wasn't really best for her in the long run. He could give her his friendship. But if that would cause her ANY pain than it was selfish. And he undoubtedly would cause her pain.
He might end up regretting this decision either way.
"Hey." Her friendly voice broke the silence
He spun around in shock.
"Oh. You got my note." Awkward.
"Yeah. Just now."
"Okay, well I'll leave you to it." She turned.
"Wait, you're not working today. Why'd you come in?"
"Um, you're right I'm not working. But it's not important."
He stood confused. "You came all the way to work on your day off and it's not important?"
She sighed, "No. Obviously." She looked around the room for inspiration or an easy way out. "Ah, well... As it happens, Kerry thought you were upset about something and assumed we were… well, she said 'I know how close you are and I thought if it were serious he might tell you and then he'd stop moping and we could all get on with our jobs.'"
"Word for word eh?"
"I don't get that phone call every day. And after that," she pointed to the card, "I figured I'd offered my friendship and I couldn't let you down again. So I was just praying all the way here that your moping had nothing to do with me."
He smiled. "You kept this photo?"
"I thought I'd lost it, but I found it a few nights ago… after I wrote the message on the back. Unpacking sucks."
"You've been back for months."
She nodded a little embarrassed.
He laughed.
"So are you okay?" She tried to get back to business.
"Um, I'm… I have no idea…" he admitted his confusion. "I was trying to figure out what to do with this when you came in and you can imagine it didn't get any easier."
"So you read the whole thing."
"Yeah."
"Well, no hurry. I'm here if or when you need me."
"Okay." He said, meeting her eyes.
She wanted to smile but she was so scared of his answer… either way. She turned and left.
"Wait!" Mark threw the door open and hoped with all that he had that she was there.
She stopped walking, a million possibilities going through her head as to why he was chasing her. Okay, truthfully, there were two possibilities – he loved her, or he still didn't but he wanted the friendship she'd offered.
He walked over face her. "Can we try? Friends I mean. I'm sick of thinking about it, about you. Why do you think I've been moping around for a week? Can we… have dinner?"
Susan nodded.
Befriending her now… that was what he wanted, maybe even needed. But was it best for her? He could give her what she wanted – he could love her. But he knew that he was in no place to do that and it wasn't really best for her in the long run. He could give her his friendship. But if that would cause her ANY pain than it was selfish. And he undoubtedly would cause her pain.
He might end up regretting this decision either way.
"Hey." Her friendly voice broke the silence
He spun around in shock.
"Oh. You got my note." Awkward.
"Yeah. Just now."
"Okay, well I'll leave you to it." She turned.
"Wait, you're not working today. Why'd you come in?"
"Um, you're right I'm not working. But it's not important."
He stood confused. "You came all the way to work on your day off and it's not important?"
She sighed, "No. Obviously." She looked around the room for inspiration or an easy way out. "Ah, well... As it happens, Kerry thought you were upset about something and assumed we were… well, she said 'I know how close you are and I thought if it were serious he might tell you and then he'd stop moping and we could all get on with our jobs.'"
"Word for word eh?"
"I don't get that phone call every day. And after that," she pointed to the card, "I figured I'd offered my friendship and I couldn't let you down again. So I was just praying all the way here that your moping had nothing to do with me."
He smiled. "You kept this photo?"
"I thought I'd lost it, but I found it a few nights ago… after I wrote the message on the back. Unpacking sucks."
"You've been back for months."
She nodded a little embarrassed.
He laughed.
"So are you okay?" She tried to get back to business.
"Um, I'm… I have no idea…" he admitted his confusion. "I was trying to figure out what to do with this when you came in and you can imagine it didn't get any easier."
"So you read the whole thing."
"Yeah."
"Well, no hurry. I'm here if or when you need me."
"Okay." He said, meeting her eyes.
She wanted to smile but she was so scared of his answer… either way. She turned and left.
"Wait!" Mark threw the door open and hoped with all that he had that she was there.
She stopped walking, a million possibilities going through her head as to why he was chasing her. Okay, truthfully, there were two possibilities – he loved her, or he still didn't but he wanted the friendship she'd offered.
He walked over face her. "Can we try? Friends I mean. I'm sick of thinking about it, about you. Why do you think I've been moping around for a week? Can we… have dinner?"
Susan nodded.