Disclaimer: I don't own a damned thing. pout I wish I did though...I would have fun playing with the boys...looks around Nothing to bad though. cough cough Hehehehehe, Suoh...hehehehehehehehe
A/N: Anyway there were no reviews on my last chappy!!! (Sorry Cae, you don't count, you have to like it.) I want better out of you people. You hear me?! I WANT REVIEWS! I'll write more if I get them.
#music#
The hallways were crammed full of students doing this, that, of the other thing. There was barely enough room to get a word in. Knowing it was bound to happen, stupid giggling girls stopped to ask, "Oh, how are you Nokoru-sama?" or, "I don't understand my math homework, will you hell me later?" I smiled and nodded at most of them, but I think they got the point and left me alone.
We reached an empty hallway, the only sound was that of out footsteps, breathing, and my loud heartbeat that I was sure Suoh could hear.
"S-so...' Suoh started, breaking the silence, "When did that letter say to meet you mother?" Wow, Suoh sure knew how to make me go from bad to worse.
I took the letter from my pocket. It smelled like some kind of really mild perfume. Normally perfume didn't bother me, (I mean come on, almost every girl in Clamp School wore perfume), but today, it made me so sick I wanted to Puke, "Day after tomorrow, Thursday..."
Suoh took the letter and looked it over, "Noki-chan?" Suoh asked.
"It's a stupid nickname my mother gave me..." I took the letter back and tore it in two, "Oh well, not like it really matters," I opened the faculty office door and took the call.
"Who was it?" Suoh wanted to know as we walked back, faster then before.
I yawned in a rather bored way and said, "Aah, just some one from the engendering department. I don't see why they couldn't have just forwarded the call to the student council room. It would've been much easier."
"They're putting a second line on that phone remember?" Suoh reminded me, opening the student council room door.
I just groaned at him and went to my desk.
"Why don't you go home?" Suoh suggested, "You're not being your self today."
"Oh is that right?" I looked at him and he knew I was getting mad, "So I'm not me unless I'm acting perfect?! is that what you're trying to say?"
Suoh looked like I had just smacked him, "N-no. I t-thats not what I meant..." Suo whispered, "It's just..."
I stopped him, "No suoh, it's OK, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, just forget I said anything," I rubbed my temples. This was stupid.
"Well, why don't you go home anyway, I mean, classes are over for the day, and you don't really have anything else to do."
"Because..." I leaned back in my chair, "If i go home, no one'll be there. Do you have any idea how lonely it is to come home to an empty house?" Suoh sighed. I felt bad for him, but I didn't say anything.
"so what do you want to do?" Suoh asked, leaning against the wall. I shrugged, "where's Akira?"
"Ijuin?" He looked around, "I dunno, you hungry?"
I laughed sarcasticly, "Hardly. just wondering..."
"Hello Nokoru-chan," She said, wrapping me in her warm embrace. Normally I get out of this by going to the bathroom, or saying I had homework, but today I didn't have the energy to get away from her. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandma very much, but every time I get hugs from anyone it brings back really sad memories I want to keep locked away deep, deep, deep down in the darkness of my heart.
my grandma felt my forehead, "Nokoru-chan, you're really warm. Are you running a fever?"
I looked her in the eyes, smiled, and said, "Nope! I'm fine!"
I went into my room saying I had homework to do. Jeez, what was today? National Nokoru telling lies day? I didn't really know if I was running a fever or not, but I did know I didn't feel well. Setting my book bag on my desk I took out my math book. Wondering why, I put it back. I had finished it in class this morning. Being a kid genius was a real pain.
I needed to clear my head. Laying on my bed, I put my headphones on and turned my CD player on.
#Ah. Teniame no mach de...#
I turned to volume up. It wasn't like anyone could else could hear it. No matter what song I listened to, or how loud it was, I couldn't block out flashes of memories from my childhood.
After what seemed like hours, I thought I heard a knock on my door, I didn't say or do anything. I wasn't in the mood to talk.
"This music is gonna ruin your ears," my grandma said, calmly taking the headphones off my head, "I'm gonna turn it off, OK?" She pressed the off butten on my CD player, "Get your homework done?" I nodded at her, "You OK?" She asked, feeling my forehead again.
"I'm fine, just tired. I'm gonna go to bed."
She looked at me,slightly concerned, then said, "Well, OK. Change into your pajamas first."
I nodded as I saw her walk out of the door. I didn't move. I didn't even sleep. I just sat there, waiting, listening to my heart beat. I heard my grandma and grandpa go to bed. But I still didn't move.
I flinched slightly, for no real reason. That knocked me back to reality. I looked at the clock on my dresser. The clock read 3:27. I sat up slowly feeling my muscles loosen. I felt really stressed out. I needed to calm down. I sat on my bed and hugged my shoulders. I felt dirty. I felt guilty. But why? I felt like I had a body full of evil blood and hatred.
I looked at my desk. My stare turned into a serious glare. N-no, I couldn't/ I half heartily laughed at the idea. I'm not...I'm not suicidal. Walking over to my desk I pulled out a small box cutter. It wouldn't hurt to do it once right? NO! I put the box cutter down. I can't. I can't. I stepped back from my desk. I can't! if any one were to find out...I'd...My mind suddenly started to wonder.
I remembered this one time when I was in the second grade. We had this really big math test. I missed one of the questions so it took my normal score of 100% to 98%. Every one totally wigged out! My grandma and grandpa kept hugging me and asking what was wrong, and if I was happy.
I looked again at the box cutter. I can't do it. I can't put my grandma and grandpa through all that again. I rubbed my temples, clearing my thoughts. I closed on my eyes and tried to sleep.
I tossed and turned. I even tried counting sheep, nothing worked. I sat up and walked over to my desk. I pulled up the sleeves of the school uniform that I never changed out of, placed the box cutter to my wrist and pressed down.