TAUNT MY CHAINS

A/N: Hello all my faithful readers! That's right I just said hello to about 3 people! This is getting very dejecting you guys! I got 2 reviews for the last chapter! 2...it's so sad... I feel like crying, no one likes my story.... oh well... I hope everyone...which again is like 3 people... likes this chapter! I'm sorry it took so long! But guess what? Two weeks and I'm out of school for the summer... weeeeee! And oh yeah... in my English class there's this guy and he reminds me of Remus! lol he does... and guess what his last name is? Lupinstine hehe yeah I was very excited when I found out lol. Ok well... moving on...So please read on everyone... this story is gunna get so good I promise... lol at least the story line will... I have it all set up and everything. Ok well... On with the show!

Oh P.S.... For some reason when I publish this to HTML my markers... that I separate the different viewpoints of time periods or whatever... they won't show up... so if anyone knows why....please tell me!! It worked on all my other chapter.... ok well sorry if it's confusing then

CHAPTER 4

"If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep." Dale Carnegie

The door creaked open. Remus leaned down to shake Sirius' shoulder. Nothing.

"Sirius!" He shook harder and Sirius groaned and swatted at Remus, coming dangerously close to his face.

"Sirius, get up!"

He rolled over and reluctantly opened his eyes.

"What do you want?" His voice was groggy and his words slurred together.

"We have to go and meet the order at Grimmauld." Remus spoke with impatience, we had gotten a late start and they had very little time to make it there before everyone else. Sirius was now fully awake and he looked at the clock.

"When will they be there?"

"30 minutes, about, come on" Remus was about to leave to wake up Sarah but Sirius stopped him.

"Moony, wait, don't wake Sarah up, she's only been sleeping for like..." He referred to the clock. "three hours"

Remus' eyes widened in surprise, "Three hours? what happened last night?"

Sirius sat up and rubbed his tired eyes. "She just couldn't sleep is all. We stayed up until almost four, until she pretended to be tired because I started to fall asleep" He smiled to himself at remembering Sarah's antics.

"Listen...You can go meet the order, I'll bring her in... two hours?" He squinted at Remus through his itching eyes.

"You just want to sleep longer don't you?" Remus smiled as if he had finally caught on to his master plan.

Sirius fell back against his pillows. "You got me"

"OK well we'll get started without you guys then, I have to be here and make sure no one rings the doorbell, so I better get going."

"OK, see ya later" his sentence was punctuated with a yawn. Remus shook his head and left the house quietly.

9:00... 9:00. As soon as my groggy mind could register the time I was instantly awakened, as if someone had poured water over me, I shot up to a sitting position. All I could think about was that, we were supposed to have left at 7:30 this morning. It wasn't important I supposed, that we must be on time, but it struck me as odd that Remus would allow us to be late. So I stripped the covers of me and swaggered to the door. I pulled it open and literally ran into Sirius, who was standing in the hall.

"Whoa" Sirius steadied me as I took a large step back. I smiled.

"You startled me"

"No kidding" He grinned back. But just as soon his face turned more sobered and his eyes searched my face.

"Did you sleep O.K.?" I knew his question was heavier than when Remus had asked me just the morning before.

I nodded, "Yeah, actually I did." I said this with sincerity, I had fallen asleep soon after I had gone to my room.

His smile resumed. "Good. I told Remus we would be there soon, so we should get going, Are you hungry?" He said this all in one breath.

"No" I answered with certainly that if I tried to eat something right now that I would throw up.

"Good, 'cause I couldn't cook my way out of a paper bag."

"I wonder, when the opportunity would present itself, that you would actually have to cook yourself out of a paper bag." I tilted my head with a narrowing of one eye.

He mimicked my position. "I do wonder..."

"I'll go get ready now" I shook my head and took a step back into my room.

He bowed mockingly "I'll await you in the foyer"

"Sirius" I called as I ran down the stairs.

"Kitchen" He called out in a muffled voice.

I walked down the hall and into the open kitchen. Sirius was stuffing the corner of a piece of toast in his mouth as he dusted off his hands. He mumbled something incoherent and offered me a piece of slightly burnt toast off a small plate. I smiled with amusement and shook my head.

"No thanks" I insisted with my hands. Sirius shrugged and took the toast, leaving the plate lonely on the table.

"Let's go" Sirius stepped into the family room and brushed the crumbs from his black robes.

"Who's going to be there?" I asked him as we walked into the room.

"Oh, about half the order... about. Molly Weasley, Moody, some more people you don't know... you'll meet them soon enough though" He smiled brightly though I could see through it. He hated to go there so much, I felt so bad for him.

"Great" I answered just as brightly.

"Ready?" he asked and wrapped an arm around me.

"Ready" I gripped his lower arm and felt the muscles tensed like mad, before the footing melted below me and I was lost in a dizzy whirl of color and sensations.

My feet slammed into the ground and Sirius' arm tightened as I lurched forward. My head was swirling and my vision blurred as I fell this time, backwards into Sirius and leaned heavily on him, the only thing stationary in the world. I felt like I had spun around a hundred times.

"Are you Okay?" his voice was apprehensive.

"I'm dizzy... feel like I'm going to throw up." I whispered and the world slowly stopped swaying beneath me.

I was breathing heavily.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm okay now" I said this slowly and leaned away from Sirius.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good now"

"Next time we apparate, focus on me instead of your surroundings" He whispered this in wise sort of voice.

"Okay, I'll try that"

He relaxed his arms and pulled away slowly, ready to catch me again.

"And here, you have to eat something or you'll pass out." He insisted and I opened my mouth to protest.

He shoved the burnt piece of toast in my mouth before I could get out another word. I tried not to laugh for I was sure it would get lodged in my throat. I took a bite and pulled the rest from out of my mouth.

"It's dry" I wrinkled my nose and choked as it stuck to my throat.

"It's best dry" He insisted half-heartedly as his eyes traveled up and down the street, searching for something un-seeable.

"Says the man who can't cook"

His eyes took a detour to my smart-smiling face. "Don't be a smart-ass with your Godfather" he advised as he looked back down the street and then started towards the front gate.

"Let's get out of the street"

The morning fog was still hanging among the air in thick sheets. And the ends of the street disappeared in the clouds. I was first to the gate and my hand almost burned with the cold dampness of the iron. Sirius reached over me with his wand to the door and it creaked open slowly.

Instead of the silent stillness we had encountered yesterday a cacophony of noise reached my ears.

There was a loud crash. A shout of "TONKS!" and then Mrs. Black went at it.

"BLOOD TRAITOR, FILTH, SCUM..."

My hands flew immediately to my ears and Sirius went running into the living room. Running footsteps down the stairs, scuffing on the old wooden floors, the yanking of curtains closed, and finally, silence.

I made the most out of the misfortune by throwing the toast into the garden under the front window. I took a step into the room and was greeted by the slight of a group of people talking and shaking hands with Sirius. But soon enough they turned their eyes to me. They were all staring at me and I wished the floor would just swallow me up.

"Hi" I smiled as I closed the door silently behind me.

"Oh, dear, it's so good to see you!" Mrs. Weasley emerged from the small crowd and pulled me into a very tight embrace.

"Hi, Mrs. Weasley" I managed to breathe out.

"How are you doing?" She asked in an almost hushed voice as she pulled away.

"I'm doing fine, How are you?" I replied in a sarcastically similar quiet tone.

She smiled at me and held me at arms length, as if she hadn't seen me in years and wanted to make sure I looked just as she remembered me.

"Has Sirius been taking care of you properly?" She said his name with a look of pure distaste. My eyebrows rose in surprise. I had only been with him for a day and she had not even mentioned Remus, it was his house after all, that I was staying in. I nodded slowly and shot a quizzical look at Sirius, he shook his head. I turned back to Mrs. Weasley with less enthusiasm as before. She was now overwhelming instead of comforting, her arms now constricting instead of protective. I took a step back out of her reach and turned away.

Remus took to the front of the group. Eyes upon eyes bored into me from behind him.

"Sarah, I'd like you to meet some members of the order..." He turned and pointed at one end then progressively moved to the other end,.rattling off names.

"This is Alastor Moody" Moody's eye bored into me with a fierceness none of the others possessed. I smiled and nodded .I thought I had known him for a whole year so being introduced again was extremely strange.

"Nymphadora-"

"Do not call me Nymphadora!" the spunky girl chastised Remus.

"You can call me Tonks" she said this to me but with a little spite as she threw a look at Remus. She was looking at me with less...fear? Than the others and I smiled genuinely.

"Kingsley Shackelbolt" the tall man bowed to me and I bowed back with humor.

"Elphais Doge" He nodded, I nodded back.

"Dedalus Diggle"

"We've met before" squeaked Diggle as he dropped his top hat. I laughed... he was always an amusing one. I tipped an imaginary hat to him.

"Emmeline Vance...Sturgis Podmore... and Hestia Jones." they all acknowledged me and I acknowledged back.

"It's nice to meet you all" I smiled politely and they all murmured back, their eyes still on me. I shifted my eyes across the room and Remus took up the lead again.

"All right, everyone. Back to work, we don't have much time to make this liveable before we need to be living in it...everyone back to your posts and Tonks-" he emphasized her name with a smile. "Try not to run into anything Okay?"

She shot Remus a glare.

Tonks had been reassigned to the floors with me and Sirius. Remus had concluded that since they were late they would get the 'most important' job and Tonks was given the boot downstairs after she had smashed a shelving unit accidently.

We were re-varnishing the old wooden floors. The hole I had created yesterday had been repaired and any weak spots were reinforced. We had stopped early on to have a lavish lunch Mrs. Weasley had prepared, now that seemed like days ago. Tonks, Sirius, and I were really having a good time varnishing the floors, despite the pungent smell, we were all making jokes and laughing together. The traffic of order members coming by was quite a few but most the time people stayed to their parts of the house. Hoping to finish as quickly as possible. But now, we had finally finished the floors, just in time for a late dinner, made again by Mrs. Weasley. She had working to clean up and stock the kitchen all day.

It had been a hard day for everyone and we all were sitting back around the large wooden table, waiting for Mrs. Weasley to finish up with the meal. I was sitting there with chin resting in my hand, listening to everyone else's conversations and laughing along with the rest of them. I was so lucky, to be here and with all these people.

I was lying in bed staring at the night sky. After we had finished dinner the order had slowly dispersed until Sirius, Remus, and Mrs. Weasley were the only ones left. Mrs. Weasly had given Remus a kind, motherly hug before leaving, the same to me and gave a cold shoulder to Sirius. She had been acting funny around him all day, and wanted to ask what was up but she left with a simple "I'll see you at the meeting" and Sirius ushered Remus and I out right after.

Now I was trying to get to sleep. I wouldn't say I was afraid of the nightmares... I was more... apprehensive maybe. It was like rolling dice or spinning a wheel. I may have a nightmare or I may not... but I never knew cause it was never in a pattern or anything to distinguish between the peaceful nights and the tormented nights. I had to find out the hard way. Today had been strenuous and I was tired. So I rolled over and closed my eyes, trying to clear my mind.

I was sitting in a plush high-backed chair. In front of me, were a whole crowd of death eaters looking on with intense interest through their masks. Out of my mouth came words I did not speak.

"Does everyone understand the plan?" My voice was hissing and familiar. I gasped to myself... Voldemort.

There were nods of confirmation and murmurs of approval from those before me. One of the taller ones stepped forward and dared to speak.

"Master, why don't we simply kill her off?" I recognized the voice as Lucious Malfoy's.

I felt my mouth curl into a wicked smile. "That comes to the rest of my plan, Malfoy... We must prepare a potion... it is a spell of old dark magic"

"What is this spell's purpose, Master?" An anonymous female voice asked. I turned my head involuntarily to her.

"It can strip a wizard of their powers... and instil them in another wizard." I answered in a menacing hiss.

The whole crowd approved with nods and shared looks.

"Brilliant, Master"

"Ingenious"

The crowd called out their admiration. My face spasmed into a teeth-baring smile.

"Okay all of you must carry out your deeds by nightfall tomorrow... or there will be consequences..." Voldemort's voice that came from my face turned harsh and the crowd turned serious.

"Of coarse, Master"

"Now all of you, out of my sight."

All the death eaters fell to their knees and crawled to my feet, kissing them quickly.

They all stood up and left silently, the doors shut with an echo. My hand traveled up to my face as I sighed tiredly. My fingers ran up to rub my eye and then they grazed my forehead.

A blinding pain erupted from my scar.

My hands flew to my forehead. I pressed my palms into my burning scar and my breath that was being held, burned my lungs. I dug my fingernails into the flesh of my forehead. It seemed like hours, but it was only minutes, then the pain subsided. I let my breath out it a great hiss and gasped violently for air. A whimpering sound was involuntarily ripping from my throat and tears stung my eyes and silently rolled down my cheeks in the dark of my room. I took several deep steadying breaths before reaching over and turning on my light. I crawled out of bed and pulled my wand slowly off my night table with shaking hands. The floor creaked as I slowly crossed the room and pulled open the door. I inched into the dark hall and was surprised to see Sirius's door slightly ajar with light streaming onto the floor. I took more deep breaths and stood contemplating for several minutes whether or not to go in. Finally as a chill ran up my spine, I decided that I really wanted to talk to him. So, I crept to his door and knocked silently as I pushed it open further.

I peered into the room to see Sirius sitting back against his pillows with his legs crossed at his ankles, reading a rather thick book. He looked up at my knock, letting the book fall into his lap.

"Sirius" I called softly. My voice sounded small and pleading, even to myself.

He took in my pallid, ghostly complection, my shivering body, and the frightened look in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he voiced his concern as he dropped the book on the night stand and sat up on the side of the bed.

"Did you have a bad dream?" It finally clicked in his mind.

I nodded shakily and took a couple of steps closer into the room.

"Can I come in?" I asked absently.

"Of course, come in"

I pushed through the door and shuffled into the room, wrapping my arms around myself. I stopped at the end of the bed and felt lost... I didn't know what to say, another chill ran through me.

"Are you cold? Come here" Sirius sat back against his pillows and pulled the covers back on the other side of the bed. An involuntary flashback seized my mind.

I was young, maybe 4 or 5

I woke up in my cupboard, whimpering and gasping.

It was the first time I had the dream, green flashes of light, screaming and laughing. It meant nothing to me but it frightened me to no end.

There were tears streaming down my face and my heart was panicked. I grabbed the ripped teddy bear I had been given after Dudley had grown tired of it. The cupboard door opened and I crawled out into the hall. Silently making my way up the stairs and through the upstairs hall.

I stood at the double doors leading into my Aunt and Uncle's bedroom and pushed them open after quiet contemplation.

My Aunt and Uncle were dark lumps, the moonlight filtered in and lit one side of the room.

I quietly tip-toed up to the bed and picked a lump. I found myself staring into the sleeping face of my uncle. My free hand reached up and lightly tapped his shoulder. He swatted my hand away and grunted. I tapped again. His eyes fluttered open and he stared at me a moment before cursing and sitting up. The light flicked on and he stared at me with evil eyes.

"What are you doing in here?" He growled and I took a step back.

"I...I-I had a b-bad dream" I whispered soulfully looking up at him.

"So what?" spit flew off his mouth and his face started turning red.

"I thought... m-maybe you could....I c-could sleep with you." My voice became smaller than ever.

I had seen Dudley waddle into their room plenty of nights and crawl into bed with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. They would tell him that it was alright and cuddle with him until he fell asleep again.

I wished that for once that they would do that for me... just once.

Uncle Vernon looked at me with disgust.

"No, why would we let a freak in our bed?"

"I-I don't k-know" my innocent confusion fueled my voice.

He sneered at me. "Get out of our room and back into your cupboard."

I turned and slowly scuffled back out of the room, shut the door behind me and climbed down the stairs.

In my cupboard I sat up in my stiff bed and clung to my bear as I cried myself to sleep.

"Sarah?" Sirius' voice broke my reverie.

I crawled into the bed and sat up by the headboard. He pulled the covers up and tucked them over me. He leaned back and put his arm around my shoulders reassuringly.

"Was it the same one?"

"No" I whispered. "No"

"What was this one about?" His interest struck me.

"My scar hurt" I remembered the horrible pain that resided in my scar before and ran my hand over it.

"It did?" He asked me in apprehension.

I nodded and looked up at his concerned eyes.

"What happened in your dream?" The second he mentioned it, I tried to remember and realized just as quickly that it was slipping away from my grasp.

"Umm... I ... I don't remember" I started to panic now... what if it had been important? I dropped my forehead into my hand.

"Hey, it's alright, calm down" He rubbed his hand up and down my upper arm.

"It's Okay if you can't remember... just breathe and think... do you remember anything at all?"

"Ummm..." I closed my eyes and tried to remember... I think the problem was that I didn't really want to remember it. Then it hit me.

"Voldemort... and death eaters..."

"Okay, Okay, good.... do you remember what they were doing?"

"It was like... a meeting..." A still frame flashed into my mind.

"It was so weird... the perspective was wrong..." I went on in confusion.

"How so?" Sirius asked.

"Voldemort was there... but I couldn't see him..." I tried so hard to remember... then I remembered the chilling voice that came out of my mouth.

"He was me!... I mean I was him...kind of..." My heart beat quickened.

"Okay, I don't understand." Sirius said gently.

"It was like... he was speaking... but my mouth was moving.. And when he got angry... I got angry... like I was him... but he was him." I was trying so hard to get my frenzied thought out of my head.

"Hmm.. Could you see through his eyes?"

"Yes.. Yeah I could" I looked up at Sirius' thoughtful expression.

"Scary, huh?" I whispered.

He looked down at me. "Yeah... very. What happened during the meeting... what did they talk about?"

I looked back into the deep corners of my mind. Strained and strained... searched the deepest darks...but it just wouldn't come.

"I.. don't remember... I'm sorry." I whispered.

"It's okay... it's fine.. You did great." he reassured me. "We can tell Dumbledore at the order meeting tomorrow night... okay?"

"Yeah... okay" I nodded absently.

"Well, thanks, I'll be fine now." I insisted after a short silence and started to pull myself up. I certainly didn't want to over stay my welcome.

"No you won't" He stopped me by gripping my arm. "You can sleep in here, Sarah, I know you have trouble sleeping after these dreams."

I fell back against the pillows. "Are you sure it's okay?"

He smiled. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know..."

"We'll neither do I... are you gong to be okay?" He was really concerned and I smiled.

"Yeah I think so."

"Okay, we'll write Dumbledore in the morning." Sirius reached over and turned off the light. "Try to sleep" he advised.

I closed my eyes an the death eaters loomed before me. I reached out and grabbed Sirius' arm tightly.

He flipped the light back on in an instant. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" I said pulling my hand back.

"Are you afraid?"

"A little" I said quietly.

"I'll leave the light on." he concluded.

"No, I'll be fine." I assured him.

"Are you certain?" he questioned

"yeah, positive."

"You're not going to sleep are you?"

" I don't think so" I admitted.

Sirius sighed lightly.

"What did you think about the Order members you met?" He asked, an attempt at changing the subject.

"Well, I didn't talk to anyone much, they seem fine... is there anyone else In the Order I know?" I asked with interest. The whole order concept was very interesting to me.

"Um... I don't know... well, Arthur, Bill, and Charlie Weasley....McGonagall...oh and Snape."

"Snape is in the Order??" I asked in a mild state of shock.

"That's what I said." Sirius' voice was almost emphatic.

"Everyone is so ready to trust him... I can't understand it." he went on.

"There are times when I could believe he's reformed... but then most of the time... I just don't understand what Dumbledore sees" I contemplated.

"I'm getting pretty sick of the way Dumbledore's conducting this whole thing." Sirius shook his head at the thought.

After a long silence something else popped into my mind.

"Why was Mrs. Weasley being so cold to you?" I asked.

"Oh...She seems to think I'm an irresponsible Godfather." He smiled wickedly at me but I knew that he didn't think it completely absurd.

"Why would she think that?" I was very surprised.

"I'm not entirely sure..."

"Does she still think you're a murderer?" I asked... She had reacted like that after the third task when she had seen Sirius.

"I don't think so..."

"Well, that's not cool" I insisted on Sirius' defense.

He simply shrugged.

We went on like that for almost an hour. Talking mostly about the order... Sirius explained in depth how it was founded and how he and my parents had joined. Before I started to feel a little tired and eventually fell asleep to Sirius' hushed voice.

TBC

A/N: So... how was it? Good? Horrible? Boring?... Please review! It will only take a few seconds! I'm one of those people who thrive on feedback! It just makes my day when someone writes a review! Tell me what you think of the story... how its coming along... tell me if you like the concept...tell me your favorite part of the chapter... if you have any suggestions... questions... ANYTHING lol I'm not picky with reviews... thank you all for reading!!! don't forget to review!!!! hehe thanks

glitter kitty: I'm really glad you like it!!! I wish more people would give it a try instead of thinking it will be horrible right away lol. If by sarah-siri you mean like sexual... then no sorry... just father/daughter lol though the longest fic I've written was a sexual relationship one (Beatles) so now when I write this It always seems like it's turning into that, to me. But really it's not I mean out of context people might take things the wrong way but if you look at other Tv shows or books or whatever with these father/daughter relationships I see that my writing isn't far off so... yeah lol that's my explanation. Thank you sooo much for reading! Stay with me please... the story won't disappoint you, I promise! Please keep reviewing!

Runa LilyAnna Snape:lol sorry this chapter has taken so long! Did you enjoy it? Thank you... I wish I had more reviews, too lol just that I am having some reviews, keeps me writing... so thank you! Lol I usually don't read femaleharry Sotries but I'm really really glad you like mine!! lol thank you so much.... I don't think my writing is all that great but my story line is, I think lol it's prolly been done a million times... prolly better than the way I do it... but this way will be mine so I hope you enjoy it all the way through... and here's a hint for things to come.. I notice that Snape is in your pseudonym and well lol there's your hint. Snape will enter a little on... I hope I can write him all right... lol you prolly hope so too... oh well... please tell me what you thought of this chapter and keep reviewing...it helps me through my day. Thank you so much for reading... I really appreciate all my readers!

Torny: did you fall off the face of the earth? Hehe where are you?

Until next time my friends!