Disclaimer: Nothing is my own.

A/N: Hope you like it. And I know Sirius is horribly out of character-but that's what makes the whole thing so fun.

Dates, Scheming, and All That Jazz

Sirius stretched as he walked into the kitchen, and, not looking where he was going, collided into one Mr. Mad-Eye-Moody.

"Oh, 'ello there Mad-Eye, didn't see you." Sirius told him, doing his best to ignore the man's scowling and revolving eye. Mad-Eye grunted in response and left before Sirius could say another word. Shrugging, Sirius walked to the table and sat across from his favorite cousin. "Hello Nymphadora."

"Hello bastard." She replied without batting an eye, and continued to stare down at the parchment in front of her.

"Clumsy."

"Git."

"Jerk."

"Prat."

"Alright. Hello Tonks."

"That's more like it!" Tonks replied, looking up smiling. Sirius grinned and pushed his hair out of his face, and gave her the most innocent and charming look he could muster.

"Dora, can I ask you a question?" She bit on the end of her quill and her eyes scanned the paper sitting on the table.

"Uh-huh. Sure." Sirius paused for a moment, trying to think of the best way to approach the situation. She glanced up at him curiously. "Well? Are you going to ask me sometime this century?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yes, dear cousin, I am. What are you doing this Friday night?"

Tonks looked at him horrified and immediately sent a jar of ink flying as her hand flew to her mouth.

"Sirius, there's this thing called incest..." She started, chewing on her quill and completely ignoring the spilt ink as she spoke. "See, it's when family members ask other family members on dates-"

"I'm not asking you on a date, Tonks." Sirius said, shaking his head but smiling. Tonks sighed in relief.

"That's good. I thought we had a problem for a second."

"No, no problem. Anyway..."

"Yes, anyway. Friday night. No, I don't think I'm doing anything, I haven't made plans yet. Why?" She asked, placing the quill down and hastily pulling her hair up, leaving strands falling into her face.

"Wonderful. You see, Remus wanted me to ask you if you would accompany him to dinner Friday night." Tonks' mouth fell open.

"He what?"

"Moony.Wants.You.To.Go.To.Dinner.With.Him." He said slowly, hoping she would understand the second time around.

Tonks stared at him with a bewildered look on her face. "Uhhhh...why?"

"Well, why not?" Sirius said, shrugging and leaning back in his chair, propping his feet up on the table.

"I don't know. It just seems kind of...odd. Wouldn't he rather go out to dinner with someone...who isn't me?" Tonks was now twirling the quill in her finger. Sirius shook his head impatiently.

"No, no, no." Why were these two having such a hard time accepting what he was telling them? Great Merlin. "Listen, Tonks. I know Moony is quiet and a little hard to get to know, but he's looking for some excitement in his life. And you, Tonks, cousin, will be that excitement."

Tonks stared down at the table, her brow furrowed. "It still seems odd to me."

"Well, of course it's a little odd! But isn't that what will make it fun? Listen, just go to dinner with him, and see what happens. What is there to lose, right?" Sirius gave her an encouraging smile, and she gave him a small smile back. He was getting through to her, he knew it.

"Er, well. I suppose then." Sighing, she picked up her quill and again focused on her parchment. "But Sirius, if I find out you've been scheming, I swear, I'll hex you." Sirius waved his hand.

"Nonsense, Tonks. Me? Scheming? Where would you ever get an idea like that?" Putting his feet down, he pushed his chair away from the table and stood. "I'll tell Moony then. Friday at 8. Nice chatting with you, Nymphadora." He made his way out the door, laughing as he heard her mutter 'bastard' under her breath.

He clapped his hands together and gave a low, somewhat evil cackle. He had gotten them both to agree. Now, he had to get work on the smaller details. He had two days leading up to the date of the CENTURY and in the name of Merlin and all that was magic, he was going to make it great.

Ideas of roses, chocolates, and whisperings of sweet nothings danced in his head. Oh yes, he was going to make this work.

On his way to the stairs, he paused and looked in the hall mirror. Grinning impishly, he ran a hand through his hair, and in a low, seductive voice, said – "Black. Sirius Black."

"Oh dear, aren't you the arrogant one?" The mirror squeaked back. He shrugged and smiled again, before bouncing up the stairs, whistling a love song to himself. Love was in the air.