A Mysterious Night's Play– Part 3
"So you see, Mr. Emperor Man, that is why we should perform our school play, Snow White and the One Dwarf with Multiple Personalities in honor of your...up-coming..." Chuei frowned. "Hey, Shunkei, what's this word here?"
"I dunno." Shunkei looked up at Tetsuya. "Hi. I play the dwarf!"
"Uh...your upcoming getting-married-ness..." Chuei grinned uncertainly. The three children and Ashitare behind Chuei grinned also, looking frighteningly like they were about to eat someone.
Tetsuya twitched. "Gimme a minute."
Keisuke plucked at his sleeve, smiling benevolently. "I think it's a great idea, Tetsuya!"
"I refuse to let you charge admission, bro."
"Why, Tetsuya! What would give you the idea that I would do a thing like that?" Keisuke straightened up, looking righteous. "I solemnly promise that no one will pay a cent to get in!"
Tetsuya sighed. He seemed to be sighing a lot lately. "Okay, then."
"YAY!" shouted the children and Ashitare.
The queen of the faeries growled. Nakago was skulking about, visibly sunning himself in her favorite sparkly miniskirt. She'd show him. Somehow.
The scent of fresh pineapple caught her nose.
Tomo was unhappy. He wheezed loudly, somehow unable to get away from the pineapple violently affecting his lungs. His eyes seemed to have swelled shut; he couldn't see, he could hardly even move; his body felt bloated to twice its size.
There was a very large pineapple sitting in the middle of the Faerie Soccer Field. In a semi-interested manner, as if it might have been a gift from an avid admirer, Soi sauntered up to it, noting that Nakago was watching suspiciously.
Hearing someone approach, Tomo moaned, "Help...me..."
Soi jumped. Pineapples, at least normal ones that got made into cake for her enjoyment, did not talk. Then she got an idea. An evil idea. An evil, despicable, and most certainly odd idea. She gasped loudly. "Oh! You are?" She giggled.
"Need...anti...histamine..."
"Why, thank you!" She fluttered her eyelashes. "I just bought it..."
"Please...no air..."
"Ooh! Dirty!"
Ashitare tried very hard to remember something important that Tomo had told him.
"And, after the play is over, you will eat everyone in the audience! And those annoying children! And maybe yourself...no, that won't work. And then no one will be left and I will be KING!" Tomo cackled.
Tasty.
"And if anyone attacks me with pineapple, remember to get my inhaler."
Huh. He probably didn't need to remember that part.
Much later...
"So what seems to be the problem?" Amiboshi tilted his head to the side. "Other than that...you're male...and so is he..."
Nuriko sighed, temporarily resisting the removal of Tamahome, who was clinging to his leg, by force. "That's not a problem, per se, I just want him off."
"Well, you've come to the right place!" Amiboshi rummaged in his Faerie Bag 'O Benevolence.
He handed Nuriko a baeball bat. "This should do the trick!"
Nuriko frowned. "A big piece of wood?"
"A magic piece of wood." He pointed to the words 'Louisville Slugger' on the side. "See? A magic incantation!"
"Oh, ok." Disturbing smiles were exchanged.
"Man, this sucks."
"I concur." Chiriko and Tasuki sighed. The Enchanted-Magic Glitter Forest was normally not a very normal place to be, but it was just disturbing when one's queen was draping her scantily-clad self all over a giant pineapple. Even more so when you were assigned to guard said queen- and-pineapple.
"How long d'we have to do this, anyways?"
"Approximately fifteen more days or until Nakago says we may desist. And 'anyways' is not actually a verifiable word."
"Eh, whatever. You know what that big ol' fruit-thing's s'posed to be?"
"I believe it is a pineapple, a fruit indigenous to the Caribbean
tropics and subtropics."
"Smells good."
"Yes, it does." Tasuki frowned. "I am rather hungry."
"Yeah. Me too. When does this dang Personality-Swapping Serum wear off?"
"I'm afraid it won't be for some time." Tasuki patted Chiriko consolingly on the head. "Cheer up, little friend."
"Okie-dokey." Pushing Nuriko backwards into a stout chair, Amiboshi proceeded to secure a large apron around the purple-haired-guy's neck.
"Why do I have to wear this? It's so not my color..."
"It's maaagic..."
Nuriko frowned.
"And beauty requires sacrifices."
"You've got that right, toots." Nuriko pouted into a large mirror. "But it makes me look so fat..."
"You're just lucky it's Magic Faerie Help-Help Day. Now, your wish was to have Hotohori love you...?"
"Forever and ever and ever."
"'Kay. Let's get to it, then." Amiboshi rummaged in a large sack. "Let the magic begin!"
"That's a makeup brush!"
"No, it's a magic wand. Stupid humans..."
At an absolutely arbitrary time somewhere within the scope of the early evening, everyone in the kingdom important to the story suddenly congregated outside a large warehouse-turned-(cheap) theater, milling about and waiting to be let in. Reporters who happened to be in the area flocked to get the scoop on Queen Soi and her dashing new beau. Keisuke directed everyone inside, past his sign that said 'Free!!!!!' in large red letters. Unfortunately, it also said 'Exit may incur a small fee' in very small black letters on the back.
Upon entering, the guests steadfastly ignored Ashitare's refreshment stand. It did not do well to imagine what might have been in the brownies.
Some of the more important visitors were announced by various members of their own entourages as they came in. There were Soi and the mysterious Mister Ri (she wasn't good at coming up with fake names), Hotohori and his favorite hand mirror, and of course the impending Royal Couple of Yui and Tetsuya, given a suitably dissonant fanfare just to attract attention and seated in the places of honor (all of the seats were folding chairs, but these had festive crepe paper on them).
The guests took their seats, the lights dimmed, a few small faces peeked out from the wings for the last time, there was a last sickening clunk of a dropped prop, and the show began.
No one cared, because, as Yuiren tiptoed out and began stuttering over her first lines in near-whisper, a magical spotlight flooded the entryway. Amiboshi's glitter beneath it threatened to cause blindness. With a flourish of arm and flutter of spangles, he shouted:
"Announcing the beautiful Courtesan Nuriko– Version Two!"
Nuriko entered. A gasp spread over the audience like a tide. And from this tide rose a single figure, willow-slender and glowing with pale beauty. The emperor of Kounan glided through the masses in a near-daze, his magnificent eyes wide, thunderstruck. Hotohori suddenly snapped from this trance and dashed to clutch the newcomer in his arms with a whirl of silk.
"My love," the emperor whispered, and gently kissed Nuriko's lips.
Nuriko was, in short, made up to be the mirror image of Hotohori. It brought a tear to Amiboshi's eye. The afternoon had been a miracle of hair dye and some very interesting spells involving a straightening iron. Yes, he was truly a master faerie. The audience stood and applauded.
The play being terrible anyhow, everyone decided to leave. There were some eruptions of sound from the exit, suggesting short quarrels, but eventually the warehouse emptied, leaving just two figures staring entranced at the actors.
The gleeful sounds of Keisuke counting money nearly drowned out the stuttered lines, but they went a little something like this:
"Oh, no! But how will the Prince and I ever pay our hugely inflated electrical bill?"
"I've got an idea!"
"What's that, dad?"
"But that was MY cheese!" shouted Shunkei, who had forgotten that line in the first act and felt that the fifth was as good a place as any to shout it.
All of the other actors fell silent. Some fell over. "The end," muttered Chuei, and the curtain fell.
Tears streaming down their faces, Miaka and Tamahome applauded wildly.
"Encore! Encore!" shouted Tamahome.
"No! Come back on and do it again!" shouted Miaka, who couldn't imagine how her Tama-chan could suddenly speak German.
"Oh, Miaka!"
"Oh, Tamahome!"
"Miaka!"
"Tamahome!"
"Miaka!"
"Oh, Tamahome, wasn't it so funny when he did that one thing, and then she dropped the other thing on his head and then the duck came on..."
Ashitare came out form behind the curtain and unceremoniously devoured the pair of star-crossed lovers. "I hate it when people mess up the funny bits," he said, and burped.
"So you see, Mr. Emperor Man, that is why we should perform our school play, Snow White and the One Dwarf with Multiple Personalities in honor of your...up-coming..." Chuei frowned. "Hey, Shunkei, what's this word here?"
"I dunno." Shunkei looked up at Tetsuya. "Hi. I play the dwarf!"
"Uh...your upcoming getting-married-ness..." Chuei grinned uncertainly. The three children and Ashitare behind Chuei grinned also, looking frighteningly like they were about to eat someone.
Tetsuya twitched. "Gimme a minute."
Keisuke plucked at his sleeve, smiling benevolently. "I think it's a great idea, Tetsuya!"
"I refuse to let you charge admission, bro."
"Why, Tetsuya! What would give you the idea that I would do a thing like that?" Keisuke straightened up, looking righteous. "I solemnly promise that no one will pay a cent to get in!"
Tetsuya sighed. He seemed to be sighing a lot lately. "Okay, then."
"YAY!" shouted the children and Ashitare.
The queen of the faeries growled. Nakago was skulking about, visibly sunning himself in her favorite sparkly miniskirt. She'd show him. Somehow.
The scent of fresh pineapple caught her nose.
Tomo was unhappy. He wheezed loudly, somehow unable to get away from the pineapple violently affecting his lungs. His eyes seemed to have swelled shut; he couldn't see, he could hardly even move; his body felt bloated to twice its size.
There was a very large pineapple sitting in the middle of the Faerie Soccer Field. In a semi-interested manner, as if it might have been a gift from an avid admirer, Soi sauntered up to it, noting that Nakago was watching suspiciously.
Hearing someone approach, Tomo moaned, "Help...me..."
Soi jumped. Pineapples, at least normal ones that got made into cake for her enjoyment, did not talk. Then she got an idea. An evil idea. An evil, despicable, and most certainly odd idea. She gasped loudly. "Oh! You are?" She giggled.
"Need...anti...histamine..."
"Why, thank you!" She fluttered her eyelashes. "I just bought it..."
"Please...no air..."
"Ooh! Dirty!"
Ashitare tried very hard to remember something important that Tomo had told him.
"And, after the play is over, you will eat everyone in the audience! And those annoying children! And maybe yourself...no, that won't work. And then no one will be left and I will be KING!" Tomo cackled.
Tasty.
"And if anyone attacks me with pineapple, remember to get my inhaler."
Huh. He probably didn't need to remember that part.
Much later...
"So what seems to be the problem?" Amiboshi tilted his head to the side. "Other than that...you're male...and so is he..."
Nuriko sighed, temporarily resisting the removal of Tamahome, who was clinging to his leg, by force. "That's not a problem, per se, I just want him off."
"Well, you've come to the right place!" Amiboshi rummaged in his Faerie Bag 'O Benevolence.
He handed Nuriko a baeball bat. "This should do the trick!"
Nuriko frowned. "A big piece of wood?"
"A magic piece of wood." He pointed to the words 'Louisville Slugger' on the side. "See? A magic incantation!"
"Oh, ok." Disturbing smiles were exchanged.
"Man, this sucks."
"I concur." Chiriko and Tasuki sighed. The Enchanted-Magic Glitter Forest was normally not a very normal place to be, but it was just disturbing when one's queen was draping her scantily-clad self all over a giant pineapple. Even more so when you were assigned to guard said queen- and-pineapple.
"How long d'we have to do this, anyways?"
"Approximately fifteen more days or until Nakago says we may desist. And 'anyways' is not actually a verifiable word."
"Eh, whatever. You know what that big ol' fruit-thing's s'posed to be?"
"I believe it is a pineapple, a fruit indigenous to the Caribbean
tropics and subtropics."
"Smells good."
"Yes, it does." Tasuki frowned. "I am rather hungry."
"Yeah. Me too. When does this dang Personality-Swapping Serum wear off?"
"I'm afraid it won't be for some time." Tasuki patted Chiriko consolingly on the head. "Cheer up, little friend."
"Okie-dokey." Pushing Nuriko backwards into a stout chair, Amiboshi proceeded to secure a large apron around the purple-haired-guy's neck.
"Why do I have to wear this? It's so not my color..."
"It's maaagic..."
Nuriko frowned.
"And beauty requires sacrifices."
"You've got that right, toots." Nuriko pouted into a large mirror. "But it makes me look so fat..."
"You're just lucky it's Magic Faerie Help-Help Day. Now, your wish was to have Hotohori love you...?"
"Forever and ever and ever."
"'Kay. Let's get to it, then." Amiboshi rummaged in a large sack. "Let the magic begin!"
"That's a makeup brush!"
"No, it's a magic wand. Stupid humans..."
At an absolutely arbitrary time somewhere within the scope of the early evening, everyone in the kingdom important to the story suddenly congregated outside a large warehouse-turned-(cheap) theater, milling about and waiting to be let in. Reporters who happened to be in the area flocked to get the scoop on Queen Soi and her dashing new beau. Keisuke directed everyone inside, past his sign that said 'Free!!!!!' in large red letters. Unfortunately, it also said 'Exit may incur a small fee' in very small black letters on the back.
Upon entering, the guests steadfastly ignored Ashitare's refreshment stand. It did not do well to imagine what might have been in the brownies.
Some of the more important visitors were announced by various members of their own entourages as they came in. There were Soi and the mysterious Mister Ri (she wasn't good at coming up with fake names), Hotohori and his favorite hand mirror, and of course the impending Royal Couple of Yui and Tetsuya, given a suitably dissonant fanfare just to attract attention and seated in the places of honor (all of the seats were folding chairs, but these had festive crepe paper on them).
The guests took their seats, the lights dimmed, a few small faces peeked out from the wings for the last time, there was a last sickening clunk of a dropped prop, and the show began.
No one cared, because, as Yuiren tiptoed out and began stuttering over her first lines in near-whisper, a magical spotlight flooded the entryway. Amiboshi's glitter beneath it threatened to cause blindness. With a flourish of arm and flutter of spangles, he shouted:
"Announcing the beautiful Courtesan Nuriko– Version Two!"
Nuriko entered. A gasp spread over the audience like a tide. And from this tide rose a single figure, willow-slender and glowing with pale beauty. The emperor of Kounan glided through the masses in a near-daze, his magnificent eyes wide, thunderstruck. Hotohori suddenly snapped from this trance and dashed to clutch the newcomer in his arms with a whirl of silk.
"My love," the emperor whispered, and gently kissed Nuriko's lips.
Nuriko was, in short, made up to be the mirror image of Hotohori. It brought a tear to Amiboshi's eye. The afternoon had been a miracle of hair dye and some very interesting spells involving a straightening iron. Yes, he was truly a master faerie. The audience stood and applauded.
The play being terrible anyhow, everyone decided to leave. There were some eruptions of sound from the exit, suggesting short quarrels, but eventually the warehouse emptied, leaving just two figures staring entranced at the actors.
The gleeful sounds of Keisuke counting money nearly drowned out the stuttered lines, but they went a little something like this:
"Oh, no! But how will the Prince and I ever pay our hugely inflated electrical bill?"
"I've got an idea!"
"What's that, dad?"
"But that was MY cheese!" shouted Shunkei, who had forgotten that line in the first act and felt that the fifth was as good a place as any to shout it.
All of the other actors fell silent. Some fell over. "The end," muttered Chuei, and the curtain fell.
Tears streaming down their faces, Miaka and Tamahome applauded wildly.
"Encore! Encore!" shouted Tamahome.
"No! Come back on and do it again!" shouted Miaka, who couldn't imagine how her Tama-chan could suddenly speak German.
"Oh, Miaka!"
"Oh, Tamahome!"
"Miaka!"
"Tamahome!"
"Miaka!"
"Oh, Tamahome, wasn't it so funny when he did that one thing, and then she dropped the other thing on his head and then the duck came on..."
Ashitare came out form behind the curtain and unceremoniously devoured the pair of star-crossed lovers. "I hate it when people mess up the funny bits," he said, and burped.