Hi everyone. I'm just at the point where I absolutely hate school now! Thank God it'll be over in a few days. Finals are the worst, aren't they? Especially math in my case, its my worst subject. Honestly though, am I ever going to use logarithms or coordinate geometry proofs in the real world? Harrumph.
Anyway, I noticed on the last few chapters I haven't been putting a disclaimer. So I'll say it now, once and for all: none of this is mine, I swear!
Lili- blinks Wow. Grins Only a true friend would be that truly honest! (Yes, I shamelessly take that line from Shrek.)
Duo-wolf- That's okay, any feedback is appreciated!
Glynnis- That's too bad. I've said it before, I'll say it again: I hate school!
LalaithoftheBruinen- ( I can always count on you for hugs and bunnies! Thanks a lot.
NadaZimri- Thanks. Just out of curiosity, how did you come up with that name?
Fallenangel3490- Update soon? dies laughing Sorry, but just ask any of the other reviewers and they'll all tell you the same thing: I am horrible with updates! Thanks for the compliments, by the way!
Cherryfaerie- Well, you'll just have to read on and find out, won't you? Thanks!
Nilimade-Thanks!
SweetKrok- Always good to hear! Thanks.
Moralinde- Oh, the workings of my perpetually twisted (and confusing) mind. It often doesn't make sense, but bear with me. Read on, my dear!
Dark elvish angel of shadow- Thanks!
etheral-Dragon- Woo-hoo! I managed to do something right! Sorry for the wait!
Farflung- Well, maybe a little mushy. Don't I always do the extreme mushy/angsty stuff? It is a romance after all... Librarians are cool! Giles is cool! Madame Pince is...well, on second thought, scratch that. But still. Thanks!
Irethwen-ElfRanger- Hurrah! Joins happy dance-age and attracts quite a few stares Pink Floyd? Sure, I'll try!
A dull pain throbbed in my head, and my eyes were clouded and bleary. A warm breeze fluttered through the trees, and not too far off I could hear a bird's song. Peaceful as it was, something, nagged at the back of my mind. I couldn't exactly remember, perhaps I would recall if only that aching stopped, it felt like a knife between my eyes...
My eyes immediately snapped into focus, and I bolted upright. I immediately regretted doing so; the pain in my head increased alarmingly and my sore limbs screamed in pain. The events of the previous night flooded back; I shook my head and tried to sort it all out. The river, Galáril, the knife, I couldn't breathe...Legolas.
"Ai, Elbereth!" I cried and dropped my head into my hands. I had wished it all to be a dream; yet another cruel, haunting dream. Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I wiped them away savagely. I was always so weak, so foolish...
It had cost me everything I held dear: Anáwiel, my position, and Legolas. It had estranged me from Hénduil and Lathiel, as well. Like a fool I had desperately clung to hope, but it was all in vain. And I hated myself for it.
"It hurts, does it not?" a voice said quietly. I gasped and snapped my head to my right; sitting on the ledge of my talan said Legolas, his back to me. I leapt to my feet and ignored the protest of my muscles.
"I-I don't...it isn't as bad..." I said feebly, glancing at the looking glass beside my bed. There were angry bruises about my throat and a particularly bad one in the spot where Galáril had first hit me. I touched it gingerly, but immediately withdrew my hand, emitting a low hiss. I swallowed hard and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "They will heal soon," I said, wanting to break the silence that hung over us like a shroud.
"No." Legolas stood now, still not facing me, his hands clasped behind his back. "Those are not the wounds I speak of." He turned abruptly to face me. Instinctually I stepped back; noticing this, he smiled grimly. Steeling myself, I firmly planted my feet on the ground.
"I do not understand," I said uneasily.
"Here," Legolas gestured to his head, "and here," he placed his hand gently over his heart. Defensively, I placed my hand over my own and willed it to stop beating against my chest like a caged bird.
"Yes," I said softly, "it does hurt." Legolas' eyes held mine, and as much as I wanted to, I could not tear them away.
"To know what you have done, and not having the power to bend Time. Even the endless amounts the Elves possess may not be enough to heal old hurts. That knowledge is torture of bitterest kind." Legolas said evenly, his gaze never wavering.
"It is," I replied, my voice not nearly as even. Legolas simply looked at me. "I know it is. Is this why you waited for me to awaken? To torment me, telling me I can make no amends? If it is, I must beg you to leave."
Without a word, Legolas turned and began to leave. Before I could stop myself, I called after him.
"Wait!" I bit my lip as he stopped and slowly turned. "Why-" I faltered, then pressed on. "Why did you save me?"
His eyes hardened and he looked at me with an expression I could not decipher.
"What did you say?"
Fear bloomed in my heart, but was quickly replaced with something I did not expect-anger.
"Why? Why did you stop Galáril from killing me? I thought you wished nothing more than for me to be dead! Is that not what you told me?" I stood so close to Legolas that our noses were a few mere inches apart. "Why did you not just let him kill me, and end my suffering? Do you want me to bring my own demise through my suffering and weariness, or by my own hand? Or perhaps," I said, trembling with anger, "perhaps you just wished to kill me yourself?"
Legolas moved as though to hit me, and I threw up my hands, shielding my face. He did not hit me; he grasped me just below the shoulder in a bone- crushing grip.
"Release me! Let me go!" I cried, struggling with all my might. His grip tightened even more in response, holding me quite still.
"How can you ask me that?" Legolas demanded, his eyes filled with fire. I was to shocked to respond; this seemed to anger him further still. "I sat by your side as you slept through the night, wishing that I could kill you and be done with it. I wanted to tell you when you awoke that I wished I had never known you. That I meant it when I told you to leave my sight forever. I wanted to tell you that I detested you with the deepest loathing I possessed in my being, and that I could never forgive you. But then," he said, his voice shaking with emotion, "I saw you wake. I saw your face when you recalled what happened, I saw you break down and try to fight back your tears...and I knew, Elráwien, that I could never kill you. The thought of living without you was too painful to bear, because I love you, more than the stars, more than my own life. I would rather die a thousand deaths than harm you." His voice was thick with emotion, and he cupped my face in his hands. "I love you."
I couldn'r think, I couldn't move; I simply clung to Legolas and cried. I sank down to the floor, weeping with indescribable joy.
"I will never, never let you go again," he whispered, kissing the top of my head and stroking my hair. I cried even harder, knowing it was true. We were together again, and nothing could ever tear us apart.
Oh, the mush! I love writing all of this dramatic, passionate lovey-dovey stuff. Sigh (Sorry farflung, I couldn't resist Lili, if you read up to this point, I bet you want to kill me too!) I didn't mean for it to come out this way, but somehow it did. This might be the last chapter, now that I think of it. I might go on a bit more, but if I do, maybe for only another chapter or so. Thanks for reading. Review, please?