The Photo Shoot

"Rolling Camera! And… action!"

Legolas grinned at the camera and flicked his hair. "L'Oreal. Cos I'm worth it!"

"CUT!" The director yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you!? It's your worth it!"

"I know I am." He smiled.

"ARAH! Take a break. Get Gimli ready for his close ups!"

Gimli took his place on set.

"You know what to do."

He nodded and blew a kiss at the camera.

"Oh my, your gorgeous! Give us more!"

He lifted his legs up on a chair and threw his head back so he was looking at the sky.

"The camera loves you! More, more!"

Legolas glared. "How dare he steal my spotlight? I must get my revenge!"

"Right, lets take the advert."

Gimli flicked his hair and stroked his beard. "L'Oreal, cos your worth it."

"CUT! It looks like he's talking to his beard." The director sighed. "Tell you what, lets pack it up for the day."

They packed up their equipment and later left. Legolas ran into the dressing room. "Razor…. Razor….."

"What are you doing?" Arwen asked.

Legolas swung round slamming the draw shut. "Nothing!"

She eyed him suspiciously. "What are you up to?"

He looked around nervously. "You can't tell anyone!" And then whispered his plan into her ear….

Later that night, he clambered along the sleeping bags. As he quietly moved along his hand landed in something soft and hairy. "Ah hah." Legolas thought. Gimli' beard! He got out his razor and switched it on. He then started to remove the hairy thing.

"Legolas, give it to me." Arwen whispered.

Legolas was about to hand it to her when suddenly a hand grabbed at it pulling it down. Legolas let go and watched as he cuddled it up next to him and continued to suck his thumb. "Stupid Dwarf." Legolas muttered and clambered back along the piles of bodies.

"Let's go." He said running out of the room in slow motion. "Legolas the greatest hero of them all." He sang.

"Man, your definitely gay." Arwen muttered.

A long, terrifying scream awoke the whole house the next morning. A shaky Gimli stood at the doorway. Holding his beard tightly.

"Gimli! Your beard!" Legolas said shocked. "It's still there!"

"I was lucky…" He replied. "The evil beard killer hasn't got to me yet."

"Wh- what do you mean 'beard killer'?"

"He got Gandalf last night."

"You mean…?" Legolas looked at Arwen. She looked shocked. They ran into the room and saw Gandalf beard-less cuddling his legs. "It's gone… all gone…" He kept saying.

"Oh no." Arwen said. "What do we do?"

"I've got a plan." Legolas said.

"So let's get this right." Saruman said. "You want to shave my beard off and give it to Gandalf?"

"Exactly." Legolas nodded.

Saruman thought it over. "What's in it for me??"

"Um…" Legolas looked down at Arwen.

She nodded.

He looked back at Saruman. "How would you like to be in a hair advert for L'Oreal?"

He frowned. "A hair advert?"

"Yes! You get to flick your hair around like this." He showed him what he meant. "I see… well, I have always wanted to do something for the good of man kind. And what can be more better then showing off my gorgeous glossy hair."

Legolas nodded. "Exactly how I felt."

"Really…?" Saruman muttered. "What are you doing this weekend?"

"Ooh, nothing really. You?"

"Same… So, erm… fancy grabbing a burger?"

"Love to."

"It's a date then."

"To right." Legolas winked at him.

He blushed. "Ooh, you dirty boy."

The next Day…

"Oh Legolas!" Gandalf cried. "It's perfect."

Arwen handed him some superglue and he stuck on his new beard. "How could I ever thank you?"

"No need." Legolas smiled. "Though if you're free this weekend, fancy going out with me and Saruman?"

"Ooh, I'd love to meet up with my old pal again. How's his beard these days?"

Legolas blushed, "Oh you know, hanging on…"