Once Upon a Time
Author: Kamikazee
E-Mail: neokamikazehotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: BtVS/WWE
Pairing: Tara/Chris Jericho
Spoilers: None, completely AU
Summary: Once upon a time there was a girl and a boy.
Archive: Twisting the Hellmouth, Personal Space, Fanfiction.net. If you want it, just e-mail me the URL please.
Author's Notes: Mid-year Fic-a-Thon fic for Chimera. I hope you like this, I tried for romance, really I did, but this was as close as I got.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters affiliated with either Buffy the Vampire Slayer or WWE. This is a non-profit piece of fiction.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her name was Tara Maclay and she was very beautiful. Blonde hair and blue eyes and light and laughter. She was a wonderful girl. But, there was a problem. Tara had a wicked family. They wanted nothing more than to keep Tara to herself forever and ever. Tara didn't want this, though. She wanted to leave home, and see the world, and meet new people. Knowing that Tara wanted this, the evil family locked Tara away in a very tall tower.
Tara spent many years in this tower. She grew up, and became even more beautiful after every year. Now, while she may have been beautiful, she wasn't happy. She was in fact very lonely, all alone in her tower. So, Tara began to think, if only she could get out of this tower. Tara came up with a plan, a daring plan, to escape the dreaded tower.
Now, this plan was terribly complicated. It took Tara many weeks to even iron out all the details. Each step had to be very carefully planned. Tara would spend her entire day just making sure everything was perfect. Every night, though, when the stars would come out, she would stare up at them from her window and think of all the places she would go once she got away.
Someone noticed Tara, sitting in her window. This someone just happened to be Lord Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho could possibly give Tara a run for her money in the looks department. The man had long blonde hair and striking blue eyes. He was tall and well muscled, though not bulky by any stretch of the imagination.
Jericho was looking for a wife. Now, he normally wouldn't consider such a thing, but his father insisted. Chris had to settle down and take a wife, if not he would lose his entire inheritance. And that just wouldn't do. Not at all. So, he had to find a wife, and not just any wife. His father had been quite specific in that matter. She wasn't to be one of the many girls he usually went after.
Not that Chris could blame his father. The girls he went after, while exceptionally aesthetically pleasing, did not possess what one would call prize-winning personalities. Chris couldn't even stand to talk to most of them. It's a good thing talking wasn't often involved. Still, that crossed off a great many choices: Stephanie McMahon, Buffy Summers, Trish Stratus, Cordelia Chase... well, you get the point.
Chris had almost lost hope in finding a suitable wife in time. That was, until he saw the beautiful girl in the window. It took Chris only seconds to decide this was the one. She was beautiful, but in the down to earth kind of way his father would appreciate. She also looked sensitive enough. They would be married by Christmas, he was sure of it. The only thing he had to find out was her name.
Chris Jericho set out into the surrounding town. Surely someone knew of this solitary beauty. If not, well, he would think of something else if that happened. A jaunty whistle flew out of his mouth. Yes, he thought, this would work out just perfectly.
Tara, meanwhile, was completely unaware of Chris Jericho's revelation. She continued on with her plan, putting the first stages into motion. I can't exactly explain the plan to you, of course. It's specifics being very classified materiel, but I can reveal that it contained a large amount pancake batter, a 17 and three quarters length piece of copper and a stuffed pig.
Of course, it's debatable if she would have gone to all the trouble if she had known that all that hard work and planning was soon to be interrupted. Still, no use asking what if when Tara had no idea what to come. The quiet woman sat still, excitement running through her veins, for the last steps to fall into place.
Meanwhile, Chris Jericho was having a rather lively discussion with Mr. Maclay. Of course, lively might have been too general a term. The man was a bore. He droned on excessively about his daughter's duty to the family, how she couldn't possibly leave them and it was rude of him to even ask. Growing rather weary of the endless tirade, Chris did the only thing he could think of, he pulled out his wallet. Even Mr. Maclay couldn't stand up to that. Tara (as he had discovered her name was) would marry him, no matter what the cost.
So, it was an hour and a half later, and with a much lighter wallet, that Chris Jericho was lead to that abysmal tower prison. He stood fidgeting as Mr. Maclay went through the seven locks on the door. It seemed a little overly paranoid to Jericho, after all, she was just a little woman. How much harm could she possibly do?
Climbing the stares, he was unaware that that harmless little woman was at that very moment crouched behind her bed, staring fixedly at the small clock she held in her hands. Not long now at all. The seconds ticked by. Ten... nine... eight... seven... six...
Five more stairs. Four more stairs. Three more stairs. Jericho would be immensely grateful once they reached the top of the building. Ghastly number of stairs, and the décor, he wasn't even going to get started on the décor. He let a grateful smirk come to his lips as they finally reached the door to Tara's room. Mr. Maclay reached for the door...
If you ask anyone what had happened next, they probably wouldn't be able to tell you. The closest explanation you can get to the mass phenomenon that produced was a temporary rip in the fabric of reality. No one knows quite how Tara managed it, why Tara doesn't know quite how Tara managed it. Of course, the only thing you really need to know is that Tara found herself crouched in front of an unconscious, but otherwise remarkably unharmed, Chris Jericho in the remains of her prison tower.
Tara stared down at the blonde man with a frown on her face. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to be here, and she was supposed to be long gone. Taking another quick glance at the nasty looking cut on his forehead, she knew she couldn't leave him here. Even if he had ruined everything.
Chris Jericho hurt. Everywhere. He slowly came to with a vicious pounding in his head. Cracking his eyes open, he took in the girl standing over him. A small smile spread over his pained features. Maybe it wasn't that bad after all. It looked like this Tara was even prettier up close.
Tara saw that he had regained consciousness with relief. Now, she could leave without a regret. Just as she moved to stand up, he went and did the most shocking thing that she could have imagined. He kissed her. Just sat straight up and pressed his lips against hers. Of all the presumptuous, arrogant things he could have done, he did this.
When Chris pressed his lips against hers, he could feel her make a shocked sound in the very back of her throat. Perfect, she would be head over heels for him before he could say 'I'm the kind of the world'. Snaking his tongue into her mouth, he let himself enjoy the kiss.
Tara was positively indignant. She was just about ready to slap his lips right off his face. Then, she felt his tongue glide into her mouth. That was new. Very new. As the strange tongue sent a shiver down her body, Tara felt her resolve slipping. This was nice.
So, sitting there in the rubble of what used to be a perfectly good oppressive tower, Chris Jericho and Tara Maclay kissed. And they kissed. And they kissed some more. Then (I assume of course, because I left after the first five minutes of kissing) they lived happily ever after. The end.