Drifting
By Flying Star
This chapter is rated PG-13.
Disclaimer: No I don't own Teen Titans, why do you ask? Also I don't own the song title mentioned.
Well hello again readers. After careful consideration, I decided to continue this fic. But, before you go about thinking that Robin will live, he will not. Nor will Starfire return. This second chapter is more of retelling from another titan's point of view rather than a sequel. In fact this is definitely not a sequel.
So, we've seen Starfire's thoughts, now it's time for Raven's.
* * * * *
Chapter two: Comfortably Numb
It's said that when one cloaks oneself in darkness, that you can no longer feel anything anymore.
To say that I live in the dark every day of my life is like saying that Beastboy likes tofu for every meal. It's just ingrained in me, something happens to hurt me, and I quickly, without thinking, slide into the inviting inky black that surrounds me.
Maybe I'm used to it, the darkeness. All encompassing, hiding the pain I feel, pushing it to the back of my mind, where it's no longer felt. It makes me feel safe, when you can't feel, you don't hurt.
But darkness can only hide you for so long. Sooner or later you have to step into the light, and when you do you may regret or embrace your decison.
I live in fear of the light, fear of what I will find, or see. But I never had a real reason to fear, to venture far from my veil of darkness.
Until that fateful day, when one of our own was killed.
The news of Robin's death hit everyone hard, but no one harder than Starfire. As soon as his death was reported her eyes took on a look I had never seen before on her innocent face, hatred. Hatred for the man responsible for his death, and a need to show him the consequences of his actions. Even as she flew off, ignoring Beastboy's and Cyborg's pleads to wait, I felt an urgency to follow. A surprising need to come out of my shell and see what she would do.
Fading back into a shadow, I easily followed her, the intensity of her emotions like a blinding trail of white light. But once I reached the warehouse, I felt an emotion that rarely surfaced, shock. For before me stood Starfire, holding the man's bloody body with one fist, her other fist poised to strike another blow.
Without thinking I reached out, using my powers to grab the man from her grasp. Then withdrew a bit as her angry glowing eyes turned to me, chiding me, accusing me of denying her of what she believed was her right.
I said nothing, instead merely watching as the anger faded from her eyes, and she slumped to the ground, unconscious, her mind granting her a reprieve from her sorrow. Picking her up as well I slowly drifted to the entrance. A small army of police and paramedics were there to greet me as I silently placed the man on a stretcher.
Beastboy and the others were there as well, questioning looks on their faces. No words pass between us, there's no need to. They already see the unmoving alien now in my arms, her face still contorted in silent anguish.
For a brief moment I feel a pang of pity. Starfire has always been blind to the atrocities committed on Earth, but now she's witnessed one of it's worst. But I quickly shake my head, * I don't do pity* I think as I shove the usless emotion back into the darkness.
Starfire awakens at the tower just hours after the incident, and immediately proceeds to my room. I know because I can feel her before my door opens, her anger keeping her fear of being in my room at bay. I stare back impassively as she proceeds to yell at me in her native tongue, her eyes closed tight as tears slowly make their way down her face.
After a particulary long rant, she hesitates, her eyes opening to fix on me.
" Are you done yet?"
She nods.
" Good." I allow my gaze to briefly soften. " He's dead, a cooling body lying on a stone slab, awaiting burial. Nothing will bring him back, and it's pointless to argue."
The words are calm, neutral, almost cruel. I can see her eyes begin to tear up again, before suddenly hardening, the tears never leaving them as she turns and walks out, the automatic sliding door preventing her from slamming it shut.
I stare after her retreating form, feeling nothing. Uncaring, unfeeling, unemotional, it's like I'm almost inhuman.
At that though I frown. Of course I'm not human, at least not fully. I have my bastard father to thank for that. It's because of him that I must keep my emotions surpressed, locked away, lest I fall sway to my demon side.
I thought things would settle down, but the night brought worse.
As Cyborg and Beastboy tried half-heartedly to play a racing game, I hovered by the window, engrossing myself in the newest Stephen King novel. All of sudden Starfire flew into the room, her eyes, becoming as devoid of emotion as mine, settled on us.
" What happened to the man?"
It was a surprising question, one we were unprepared for as Beastboy blurted out, " In the hospital being treated for broken bones and paralysis."
" Paralysis?"
An innocent naive question, spoken by one who used to ask all the time. This, however, was the last time we'd see her like this.
" The man will never walk again." Beastboy answered.
The tone wasn't accusing, but Starfire obviously felt so as she wheeled on us. " I do not care about his injuries! He lost the ability to walk, but my friend lost his life!" Her voice was harsh, bitter, a stark contrast to her usual personality.
No one spoke as she left the room, knocking over a vase in her haste to get away. Using my powers I quietly lifted the remains, and deposited them in the trash. I knew I was the only one to feel it, the despair that Starfire projected was quite strong, as was her anger. She was turning inward, her emotions becoming as supressed as mine, perhaps even moreso.
Robin's funeral occured the next day, and surprisingly enough Slade was there. He never ventured any farther than the back of the crowd, but he stayed till the end, and then turned and left.
Starfire was the first to look down at Robin's eternally slumbering body, and it came as no surprise to me when she lightly kissed his cheek. Beastboy and Cyborg paid their respects, but I decided to keep my distance, I don't do goodbyes either, too mushy, and again pointless.
The days passed quickly, everyone was just going through the motions, eating, drinking, sleeping, nothing much seemed to matter. The only villain to threaten us was Cinderblock, usually it was easy to defeat him, but with Robin gone, we fought lethargically. It was only because Starfire was still in pain from Robin's death, that we prevailed. Let me just say that Cinderblock never bothered us again. Slade never showed his face either.
I was not surprised at our lack of teamwork, it was like Robin was the glue that held us together. With him gone, the bond dissolved, leaving us scattered, disorganized.
And that is probably the reason why we decided to seperate, we couldn't function as a team anymore and we knew it. So after a round of less than enthusiastic goodbyes, we went split up, though Cyborg stayed in the Tower. " To keep it from falling into disrepair or enemy's hands.", was his excuse.
Days turned into months, until finally I recieved a message from Starfire. Short and to the point it said, " Meet me at the burial site of Robin this Friday, I wish to dicuss some things." I folded the piece of paper back up, putting it on my dresser. That's today, should I go? After a year of solitude, I felt comfortable alone, and yet.....
The mirror by my bed suddenly lit up. I reached for it, surprised at the image within. It's me, or actually a few of my emotions, staring back at me.
The gray cloaked one frowns sadly, her face one of utter sorrow. " Is it your dream to live alone, to never again feel the bright rays of friendship?" She turns her head, perhaps afraid of my answer.
I only stare as the next one, cloaked in a color of milky grey, steps forth. She won't even look at me, her expression even more downcast than her timid companion. " This may be the last time you experience happiness, are you going to squander the opportunity?" She quickly steps back into the colorful malestrom of my emotions, not allowing me an answer.
A final Raven steps forward, her cloak as black as night. I feel a chill race up my spine, I can't feel anything from her, just a endless void. She doesn't speak, instead her hand reached forward, pointing at me, and then flicking back to her. The gesture is unmistakable, she's what I'll eventually become, an emotionless shell, incapable of ever feeling anything again. She nods, somehow knowing that I realize it. And then the mirror darkens, and I know what my decision will be.
Yes, I suppose it's true. I hide in the dark, fearing the truth, the finality.
But today I'll welcome the chance to meet with my friends. To feel something other than the cold, emotionless void that has only intesified in the last year.
The sight of my friends by Robin's grave is almost too much for me to take. I'm surprised, I didn't think it would be such a shock. They all hold a weariness in their auras that hasn't diminished in the last year. But Starfire has changed the most, she's become like me, devoid of feeling, no longer an emotion-filled joyful person, she instead looks at us with tired, sad eyes.
" Greetings friends, I appreciate your arrival. " even her voice has changed, not only will she not express her feelings, she can't, not anymore. "I have enjoyed your company, but I have made a decision. There is nothing for me here, and as such I have decided to return home. I shall leave within an hour."
* No! This isn't what I expected!* " Starfire please, you can't." I can't believe I'm pleading.
She raised her hand. " I understand your concern, but I have made up my mind. Perhaps I shall come visit in the near future."
I nod solemnly. I do understand, but it doesn't make it any easier. Starfire turns away, not meeting our gazes as she glances at Robin's grave. And then in a moment of finality she walks away, leaving us.
I can't watch her go, in fact I don't even look at my friends as I stare at the ground. For once I wish I could cry, to open up and sob for the life lost and lying buried before us. And the other life leaving us. But I can't, and I don't believe I ever will.
I guess you could say that I am, like the aptly named song, comfortably numb.
* * * * * *
And another story has ended, but maybe this isn't the end. If you want me to continue the retelling from Beastboy's and Cyborg's views, just let me know in the review. Please review, I love feedback, and I really want to know what you, the readers, thought of Raven's view.
By Flying Star
This chapter is rated PG-13.
Disclaimer: No I don't own Teen Titans, why do you ask? Also I don't own the song title mentioned.
Well hello again readers. After careful consideration, I decided to continue this fic. But, before you go about thinking that Robin will live, he will not. Nor will Starfire return. This second chapter is more of retelling from another titan's point of view rather than a sequel. In fact this is definitely not a sequel.
So, we've seen Starfire's thoughts, now it's time for Raven's.
* * * * *
Chapter two: Comfortably Numb
It's said that when one cloaks oneself in darkness, that you can no longer feel anything anymore.
To say that I live in the dark every day of my life is like saying that Beastboy likes tofu for every meal. It's just ingrained in me, something happens to hurt me, and I quickly, without thinking, slide into the inviting inky black that surrounds me.
Maybe I'm used to it, the darkeness. All encompassing, hiding the pain I feel, pushing it to the back of my mind, where it's no longer felt. It makes me feel safe, when you can't feel, you don't hurt.
But darkness can only hide you for so long. Sooner or later you have to step into the light, and when you do you may regret or embrace your decison.
I live in fear of the light, fear of what I will find, or see. But I never had a real reason to fear, to venture far from my veil of darkness.
Until that fateful day, when one of our own was killed.
The news of Robin's death hit everyone hard, but no one harder than Starfire. As soon as his death was reported her eyes took on a look I had never seen before on her innocent face, hatred. Hatred for the man responsible for his death, and a need to show him the consequences of his actions. Even as she flew off, ignoring Beastboy's and Cyborg's pleads to wait, I felt an urgency to follow. A surprising need to come out of my shell and see what she would do.
Fading back into a shadow, I easily followed her, the intensity of her emotions like a blinding trail of white light. But once I reached the warehouse, I felt an emotion that rarely surfaced, shock. For before me stood Starfire, holding the man's bloody body with one fist, her other fist poised to strike another blow.
Without thinking I reached out, using my powers to grab the man from her grasp. Then withdrew a bit as her angry glowing eyes turned to me, chiding me, accusing me of denying her of what she believed was her right.
I said nothing, instead merely watching as the anger faded from her eyes, and she slumped to the ground, unconscious, her mind granting her a reprieve from her sorrow. Picking her up as well I slowly drifted to the entrance. A small army of police and paramedics were there to greet me as I silently placed the man on a stretcher.
Beastboy and the others were there as well, questioning looks on their faces. No words pass between us, there's no need to. They already see the unmoving alien now in my arms, her face still contorted in silent anguish.
For a brief moment I feel a pang of pity. Starfire has always been blind to the atrocities committed on Earth, but now she's witnessed one of it's worst. But I quickly shake my head, * I don't do pity* I think as I shove the usless emotion back into the darkness.
Starfire awakens at the tower just hours after the incident, and immediately proceeds to my room. I know because I can feel her before my door opens, her anger keeping her fear of being in my room at bay. I stare back impassively as she proceeds to yell at me in her native tongue, her eyes closed tight as tears slowly make their way down her face.
After a particulary long rant, she hesitates, her eyes opening to fix on me.
" Are you done yet?"
She nods.
" Good." I allow my gaze to briefly soften. " He's dead, a cooling body lying on a stone slab, awaiting burial. Nothing will bring him back, and it's pointless to argue."
The words are calm, neutral, almost cruel. I can see her eyes begin to tear up again, before suddenly hardening, the tears never leaving them as she turns and walks out, the automatic sliding door preventing her from slamming it shut.
I stare after her retreating form, feeling nothing. Uncaring, unfeeling, unemotional, it's like I'm almost inhuman.
At that though I frown. Of course I'm not human, at least not fully. I have my bastard father to thank for that. It's because of him that I must keep my emotions surpressed, locked away, lest I fall sway to my demon side.
I thought things would settle down, but the night brought worse.
As Cyborg and Beastboy tried half-heartedly to play a racing game, I hovered by the window, engrossing myself in the newest Stephen King novel. All of sudden Starfire flew into the room, her eyes, becoming as devoid of emotion as mine, settled on us.
" What happened to the man?"
It was a surprising question, one we were unprepared for as Beastboy blurted out, " In the hospital being treated for broken bones and paralysis."
" Paralysis?"
An innocent naive question, spoken by one who used to ask all the time. This, however, was the last time we'd see her like this.
" The man will never walk again." Beastboy answered.
The tone wasn't accusing, but Starfire obviously felt so as she wheeled on us. " I do not care about his injuries! He lost the ability to walk, but my friend lost his life!" Her voice was harsh, bitter, a stark contrast to her usual personality.
No one spoke as she left the room, knocking over a vase in her haste to get away. Using my powers I quietly lifted the remains, and deposited them in the trash. I knew I was the only one to feel it, the despair that Starfire projected was quite strong, as was her anger. She was turning inward, her emotions becoming as supressed as mine, perhaps even moreso.
Robin's funeral occured the next day, and surprisingly enough Slade was there. He never ventured any farther than the back of the crowd, but he stayed till the end, and then turned and left.
Starfire was the first to look down at Robin's eternally slumbering body, and it came as no surprise to me when she lightly kissed his cheek. Beastboy and Cyborg paid their respects, but I decided to keep my distance, I don't do goodbyes either, too mushy, and again pointless.
The days passed quickly, everyone was just going through the motions, eating, drinking, sleeping, nothing much seemed to matter. The only villain to threaten us was Cinderblock, usually it was easy to defeat him, but with Robin gone, we fought lethargically. It was only because Starfire was still in pain from Robin's death, that we prevailed. Let me just say that Cinderblock never bothered us again. Slade never showed his face either.
I was not surprised at our lack of teamwork, it was like Robin was the glue that held us together. With him gone, the bond dissolved, leaving us scattered, disorganized.
And that is probably the reason why we decided to seperate, we couldn't function as a team anymore and we knew it. So after a round of less than enthusiastic goodbyes, we went split up, though Cyborg stayed in the Tower. " To keep it from falling into disrepair or enemy's hands.", was his excuse.
Days turned into months, until finally I recieved a message from Starfire. Short and to the point it said, " Meet me at the burial site of Robin this Friday, I wish to dicuss some things." I folded the piece of paper back up, putting it on my dresser. That's today, should I go? After a year of solitude, I felt comfortable alone, and yet.....
The mirror by my bed suddenly lit up. I reached for it, surprised at the image within. It's me, or actually a few of my emotions, staring back at me.
The gray cloaked one frowns sadly, her face one of utter sorrow. " Is it your dream to live alone, to never again feel the bright rays of friendship?" She turns her head, perhaps afraid of my answer.
I only stare as the next one, cloaked in a color of milky grey, steps forth. She won't even look at me, her expression even more downcast than her timid companion. " This may be the last time you experience happiness, are you going to squander the opportunity?" She quickly steps back into the colorful malestrom of my emotions, not allowing me an answer.
A final Raven steps forward, her cloak as black as night. I feel a chill race up my spine, I can't feel anything from her, just a endless void. She doesn't speak, instead her hand reached forward, pointing at me, and then flicking back to her. The gesture is unmistakable, she's what I'll eventually become, an emotionless shell, incapable of ever feeling anything again. She nods, somehow knowing that I realize it. And then the mirror darkens, and I know what my decision will be.
Yes, I suppose it's true. I hide in the dark, fearing the truth, the finality.
But today I'll welcome the chance to meet with my friends. To feel something other than the cold, emotionless void that has only intesified in the last year.
The sight of my friends by Robin's grave is almost too much for me to take. I'm surprised, I didn't think it would be such a shock. They all hold a weariness in their auras that hasn't diminished in the last year. But Starfire has changed the most, she's become like me, devoid of feeling, no longer an emotion-filled joyful person, she instead looks at us with tired, sad eyes.
" Greetings friends, I appreciate your arrival. " even her voice has changed, not only will she not express her feelings, she can't, not anymore. "I have enjoyed your company, but I have made a decision. There is nothing for me here, and as such I have decided to return home. I shall leave within an hour."
* No! This isn't what I expected!* " Starfire please, you can't." I can't believe I'm pleading.
She raised her hand. " I understand your concern, but I have made up my mind. Perhaps I shall come visit in the near future."
I nod solemnly. I do understand, but it doesn't make it any easier. Starfire turns away, not meeting our gazes as she glances at Robin's grave. And then in a moment of finality she walks away, leaving us.
I can't watch her go, in fact I don't even look at my friends as I stare at the ground. For once I wish I could cry, to open up and sob for the life lost and lying buried before us. And the other life leaving us. But I can't, and I don't believe I ever will.
I guess you could say that I am, like the aptly named song, comfortably numb.
* * * * * *
And another story has ended, but maybe this isn't the end. If you want me to continue the retelling from Beastboy's and Cyborg's views, just let me know in the review. Please review, I love feedback, and I really want to know what you, the readers, thought of Raven's view.