"Drifting"
By Flying Star
Disclaimer: Every fan's wish is to own Teen Titans, but alas, just like them, I don't own it.
Thanks to everyone, I asked if you wanted a continuance, and the answer was a resounding YES! I've prepared a little twist in this chapter, it just came to me, though again, Robin will stay dead, and Starfire won't return. I'm not changing the end.
So we've seen Starfire's and Raven's thoughts, now it's time for Beastboy.
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Part 3: Guilt
They say many things can change your life, injury, prejudice, love..... guilt.
Ya know, I'm always thought of as the unfunny changeling who keeps trying to make others laugh. But what's so funny now, when have I last made a joke? Seems like forever, though in actuality it's only been a year.
A long, hard, depressing year. One in which I'm still feeling it. That terrible feeling, gnawing away at my sanity.
Guilt.
Yeah, I have plenty of guilt stewing within me, eating me from the inside out.
Why couldn't everything be the way it was, before the accident. Why did Robin have to die?
I'll tell you why...because I did nothing, yeah you heard me. No one else knows the truth, but I was there. Yup, I watched Robin die, and I didn't do a damn thing to prevent it!
On that fateful day I decided to take a little journey, to nowhere in particular. I just had a need to soar amongst the clouds, scaring pigeons and other assorted birds as I flew in eagle form. I spotted him about a mile from the Tower, riding his R-cycle down the streets of Jump City, a casual ride from what I can see, but what happened next...
Oh dammit, I'm crying again. I can't believe I can still cry. No, I have to continue.
Eagle eyes can spot a mouse hiding in a thick field of grass, but somehow I didn't see the car barreling down the road, bumping into cars and scaring pedestrians off the street. I could only watch in horror as one moment Robin's driving through the intersection, and in the next moment flying off his bike as the drunk driver rams his car at full speed into it's side, before speeding away from the scene.
It was like watching a video in slow motion, the car crushing Robin's bike like a tin can, his body colliding with and then falling over the hood of the car, his forward momentum flinging him a good fifty feet from the crash scene where he lay in a pool of spreading blood.
The sound of crunching metal and breaking bones fills my ears as I fly down like a missile, my brain still unable to comprehend that the shattered pile of flesh and bones was really Robin. But I stop a few feet away, perching on a lightpole, I can't even look at him as paramedics rush to the scene, spectators crying out in anguish as they recognize the dying figure. The metallic smell of blood was overpowering.
That's when the guilty feelings start growing....
I swiftly went back home, changing into a cheetah to gain speed. I arrived just as the police told Starfire and the others the grave news. Trying to keep my guilt from showing, I almost collapsed as the police radio gave the word DOA. I could see Starfire's eyes light up, fury entering her features as she rose up. Hastily I pleaded with her to stay, but she didn't listen.
Growing like an sprouting weed......
But things grew worse as I watched the police cars speed off, I knew where they were going, after the driver. With thoughts of revenge filling my head, I flew after them, hoping to beat away some of the guilt building in me.
Rising like a tidal wave.....
But as I reached the warehouse, something flew past me. A object, no, a person, with red hair and glowing green eyes, Starfire. Somehow I had beat her, but only for a moment. I stopped at the warehouse window, watching as she flew around the interior until she found him. What I saw shocked me, Starfire wasn't one to harm another being unless absolutely neccesary, but this, this was my bloody retribution, being channeled through her hands. Her alien strength easily breaking the man's fragile body.
Threatening to smother me........
As I turned away, fighting the urge to pass out, I saw Raven appear for a brief instant and then vanish. Turning back I watched as she appeared behind Starfire staring at the scene before her, an emotion flittered across her face too quickly for me to decipher. And then she reached out, pulling the unconscious man to her before flinching slightly. I looked at Starfire and nearly fell from the window, her glowing eyes were filled with hatred.
Ready to take my sanity.....
I watched as Starfire fainted, the stress becoming too much for her to handle. And then I heard Cyborg approach, quickly I flew down behind him. He never looked back, never questioned why I left the Tower, he just stood and stared as Raven deposited the man on the awaiting stretcher. Then quietly nodded to us, before teleporting away with Starfire in tow.
Going to eat me alive......
I tried to play gamestation, but it was all for naught. Every time my car crashed, I kept seeing the accident, the events replaying in my head to the point where I just wanted to scream.
Makes me want to cry......
When Starfire turned to us, screaming that she didn't care about the killer's fate. I wanted to tell her, to throw myself in front of her, tell her everything, and hope to have the guilt burned away by the green fire she wielded. But that moment didn't come, I kept quiet, like the coward I am.
My little lie.....
I'm guilty, as guilty as the killer, for sitting back and watching, for not doing a thing. A coward who won't come forward, a fatal flaw, a coward who won't commit and admit to what he saw.
The funeral was a quiet somber affair. I bit my lip as numerous people that Robin knew came forward to read eulogies. Even Batman, who refused to remove his cowl, was there. He almost looked ready to cry, almost. I caught a glimpse of Slade on the crowd's edge, watching. Why, I have no clue. Members of the Justice League each paid their respects, and then it was time for us. Starfire was first, I felt the tears rolling down my face as she kissed his cheek, saying a silent goodbye to her beloved. Raven stayed back, refusing to see the casket, Cy went up, but had a hard time saying goodbye.
You feel the weight will pull you down......
And then it was my turn. As I walked to the front I felt their eyes watching me, their gazes boring through my head, reading me, studying me. I can't help but shake a little as I reach his coffin. The morticians were respectful enough to keep the mask on his face, but he was buried in civilian clothing, his hands clasped across his chest. I stared down at him, turmoil raging in my soul as I begin to tear up again.
And drag you to the ground.....
" Hey Rob, I..I just can't believe you're gone." I choked out. "You know I tried right, I really tried, but I couldn't...." I stop as my gaze travels to his face. For a moment I feel, even though they are closed, his eyes piercing into my soul, tearing apart my defenses and exposing my lie. I stagger back, my head whipping around to see if anyone else noticed my sudden withdrawl. No, everyone is too busy talking and reminising about my deceased teamate.
It tears at my soul......
I left the funeral, keeping my gaze focused on the ground. I couldn't let them see my guilt. The team split up days later, and I for one, was glad.
Never leaving me whole.....
The following days passed quickly, blurring , jumbling, mixing into an almost incomprehensible mess. I kept busy though, using my animal forms to punish anyone thought they could break the law and get away with it. I never let the others know, I even told the police to keep quiet about my escapades. They agreed, but I think only because they feared what I would do if they didn't agree.
It doesn't feel real anymore. I'm just on autopilot, punishing those who deserve it, and scaring the ones who don't. I admit that drunk drivers are the one people that I've been especially rough on. By the time I'm done with them, they're alert, somber, and willing to repent and stop drinking on the spot.
I'm losing my mind......
When I received Star's letter, I felt scared, petrified. Maybe she knew about my deception, or my vigilante crusade. But something in me told me to go, I had to go. And I did, I arrived at Robin's grave, keeping my gaze away from my former teamates. As Starfire turned to us, though, I felt the need to flee, to run and never turn back. But her words kept me rooted in place. Star, leaving? NO! Not another person leaving my life! I jumped up, pleading with her to stay, but my words fell on deaf ears. And as I watched her leave, I felt my world crumble.
It's only a matter of time....
It's physical now, I feel the ache in my gut, my heart beating painfully in my chest everytime I see his face in my mind. His eyes accusing me of doing nothing, of watching his body break.
I wish to be free......
Oh God please, do something, anything to take it away! I can't live like this! I put down the knife as I stare at my wrists, untouched by the blade. I won't let it be that easy. I will live with my lie, until the day I die.
But guilt consumes me......
As you can tell, Beastboy suffered a severe mental breakdown. The guilt he felt made him see things and feel things that weren't really there, and he felt responsible for Robin's death, a sad end. Oh yeah, thanks to Mya Dawning for asking about Batman, it didn't even cross my mind about if he was at the funeral, but as you can see from above, he was. Next will be Cyborg, though when I will have his done, I'm not certain. Please if you read, then review too. I'd like to know your thoughts on Beastboy's part.
By Flying Star
Disclaimer: Every fan's wish is to own Teen Titans, but alas, just like them, I don't own it.
Thanks to everyone, I asked if you wanted a continuance, and the answer was a resounding YES! I've prepared a little twist in this chapter, it just came to me, though again, Robin will stay dead, and Starfire won't return. I'm not changing the end.
So we've seen Starfire's and Raven's thoughts, now it's time for Beastboy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------
Part 3: Guilt
They say many things can change your life, injury, prejudice, love..... guilt.
Ya know, I'm always thought of as the unfunny changeling who keeps trying to make others laugh. But what's so funny now, when have I last made a joke? Seems like forever, though in actuality it's only been a year.
A long, hard, depressing year. One in which I'm still feeling it. That terrible feeling, gnawing away at my sanity.
Guilt.
Yeah, I have plenty of guilt stewing within me, eating me from the inside out.
Why couldn't everything be the way it was, before the accident. Why did Robin have to die?
I'll tell you why...because I did nothing, yeah you heard me. No one else knows the truth, but I was there. Yup, I watched Robin die, and I didn't do a damn thing to prevent it!
On that fateful day I decided to take a little journey, to nowhere in particular. I just had a need to soar amongst the clouds, scaring pigeons and other assorted birds as I flew in eagle form. I spotted him about a mile from the Tower, riding his R-cycle down the streets of Jump City, a casual ride from what I can see, but what happened next...
Oh dammit, I'm crying again. I can't believe I can still cry. No, I have to continue.
Eagle eyes can spot a mouse hiding in a thick field of grass, but somehow I didn't see the car barreling down the road, bumping into cars and scaring pedestrians off the street. I could only watch in horror as one moment Robin's driving through the intersection, and in the next moment flying off his bike as the drunk driver rams his car at full speed into it's side, before speeding away from the scene.
It was like watching a video in slow motion, the car crushing Robin's bike like a tin can, his body colliding with and then falling over the hood of the car, his forward momentum flinging him a good fifty feet from the crash scene where he lay in a pool of spreading blood.
The sound of crunching metal and breaking bones fills my ears as I fly down like a missile, my brain still unable to comprehend that the shattered pile of flesh and bones was really Robin. But I stop a few feet away, perching on a lightpole, I can't even look at him as paramedics rush to the scene, spectators crying out in anguish as they recognize the dying figure. The metallic smell of blood was overpowering.
That's when the guilty feelings start growing....
I swiftly went back home, changing into a cheetah to gain speed. I arrived just as the police told Starfire and the others the grave news. Trying to keep my guilt from showing, I almost collapsed as the police radio gave the word DOA. I could see Starfire's eyes light up, fury entering her features as she rose up. Hastily I pleaded with her to stay, but she didn't listen.
Growing like an sprouting weed......
But things grew worse as I watched the police cars speed off, I knew where they were going, after the driver. With thoughts of revenge filling my head, I flew after them, hoping to beat away some of the guilt building in me.
Rising like a tidal wave.....
But as I reached the warehouse, something flew past me. A object, no, a person, with red hair and glowing green eyes, Starfire. Somehow I had beat her, but only for a moment. I stopped at the warehouse window, watching as she flew around the interior until she found him. What I saw shocked me, Starfire wasn't one to harm another being unless absolutely neccesary, but this, this was my bloody retribution, being channeled through her hands. Her alien strength easily breaking the man's fragile body.
Threatening to smother me........
As I turned away, fighting the urge to pass out, I saw Raven appear for a brief instant and then vanish. Turning back I watched as she appeared behind Starfire staring at the scene before her, an emotion flittered across her face too quickly for me to decipher. And then she reached out, pulling the unconscious man to her before flinching slightly. I looked at Starfire and nearly fell from the window, her glowing eyes were filled with hatred.
Ready to take my sanity.....
I watched as Starfire fainted, the stress becoming too much for her to handle. And then I heard Cyborg approach, quickly I flew down behind him. He never looked back, never questioned why I left the Tower, he just stood and stared as Raven deposited the man on the awaiting stretcher. Then quietly nodded to us, before teleporting away with Starfire in tow.
Going to eat me alive......
I tried to play gamestation, but it was all for naught. Every time my car crashed, I kept seeing the accident, the events replaying in my head to the point where I just wanted to scream.
Makes me want to cry......
When Starfire turned to us, screaming that she didn't care about the killer's fate. I wanted to tell her, to throw myself in front of her, tell her everything, and hope to have the guilt burned away by the green fire she wielded. But that moment didn't come, I kept quiet, like the coward I am.
My little lie.....
I'm guilty, as guilty as the killer, for sitting back and watching, for not doing a thing. A coward who won't come forward, a fatal flaw, a coward who won't commit and admit to what he saw.
The funeral was a quiet somber affair. I bit my lip as numerous people that Robin knew came forward to read eulogies. Even Batman, who refused to remove his cowl, was there. He almost looked ready to cry, almost. I caught a glimpse of Slade on the crowd's edge, watching. Why, I have no clue. Members of the Justice League each paid their respects, and then it was time for us. Starfire was first, I felt the tears rolling down my face as she kissed his cheek, saying a silent goodbye to her beloved. Raven stayed back, refusing to see the casket, Cy went up, but had a hard time saying goodbye.
You feel the weight will pull you down......
And then it was my turn. As I walked to the front I felt their eyes watching me, their gazes boring through my head, reading me, studying me. I can't help but shake a little as I reach his coffin. The morticians were respectful enough to keep the mask on his face, but he was buried in civilian clothing, his hands clasped across his chest. I stared down at him, turmoil raging in my soul as I begin to tear up again.
And drag you to the ground.....
" Hey Rob, I..I just can't believe you're gone." I choked out. "You know I tried right, I really tried, but I couldn't...." I stop as my gaze travels to his face. For a moment I feel, even though they are closed, his eyes piercing into my soul, tearing apart my defenses and exposing my lie. I stagger back, my head whipping around to see if anyone else noticed my sudden withdrawl. No, everyone is too busy talking and reminising about my deceased teamate.
It tears at my soul......
I left the funeral, keeping my gaze focused on the ground. I couldn't let them see my guilt. The team split up days later, and I for one, was glad.
Never leaving me whole.....
The following days passed quickly, blurring , jumbling, mixing into an almost incomprehensible mess. I kept busy though, using my animal forms to punish anyone thought they could break the law and get away with it. I never let the others know, I even told the police to keep quiet about my escapades. They agreed, but I think only because they feared what I would do if they didn't agree.
It doesn't feel real anymore. I'm just on autopilot, punishing those who deserve it, and scaring the ones who don't. I admit that drunk drivers are the one people that I've been especially rough on. By the time I'm done with them, they're alert, somber, and willing to repent and stop drinking on the spot.
I'm losing my mind......
When I received Star's letter, I felt scared, petrified. Maybe she knew about my deception, or my vigilante crusade. But something in me told me to go, I had to go. And I did, I arrived at Robin's grave, keeping my gaze away from my former teamates. As Starfire turned to us, though, I felt the need to flee, to run and never turn back. But her words kept me rooted in place. Star, leaving? NO! Not another person leaving my life! I jumped up, pleading with her to stay, but my words fell on deaf ears. And as I watched her leave, I felt my world crumble.
It's only a matter of time....
It's physical now, I feel the ache in my gut, my heart beating painfully in my chest everytime I see his face in my mind. His eyes accusing me of doing nothing, of watching his body break.
I wish to be free......
Oh God please, do something, anything to take it away! I can't live like this! I put down the knife as I stare at my wrists, untouched by the blade. I won't let it be that easy. I will live with my lie, until the day I die.
But guilt consumes me......
As you can tell, Beastboy suffered a severe mental breakdown. The guilt he felt made him see things and feel things that weren't really there, and he felt responsible for Robin's death, a sad end. Oh yeah, thanks to Mya Dawning for asking about Batman, it didn't even cross my mind about if he was at the funeral, but as you can see from above, he was. Next will be Cyborg, though when I will have his done, I'm not certain. Please if you read, then review too. I'd like to know your thoughts on Beastboy's part.