Discalimer: I don't own mediator series.
A/N: Sorry it's been a while!! I've just gone back to school though, and it's busy busy busy!
Urm...I am English...since you asked...(is it that obvious????)
Not much really happens in this chapter (I'm trying to figure out how to get more action in it!!!!!! It's hard work!! Especially seeing as I don't have a plot. But trust me, Louisa's gonna get a lot more evil and violent...MOOOWAHAHAHHAA)
Thank you as usual to all my BEEEAAAUTIFUL reviewers – you seriously light up my life...or at least, my email account...
P.S – this chapter is quite long, isn't it? Oops...
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When I got home I ran upstairs and into my bathroom.
Since when was I getting upset about the fact my dad is dead and hasn't visited me in ages? I threw cold water on my face. I was a bit ashamed of my reaction by the beach. I never get upset. Well, in public anyway. And Paul had seen! I don't know why that was making me feel worse. The fact Paul had seen me briefly fall apart for no reason.
But it was. Making me feel worse, I mean.
Once I was my usual self I walked into my bedroom and grabbed some clothes to put on. I was still in my bikini and getting a bit chilly after the change of warm sun and gently crisping skin to my cool, tiled bathroom.
Jesse was sat in his customary place on my window seat. Spike had just appeared on the porch roof as was his usual entrance. Jesse turned around when I exited my bathroom.
He scowled at my bikini. I rolled my eyes.
"Couldn't you wear something over the top of...of...that?" He said as he nodded his head sharply at me. Bless him; he looked so adorable.
I turned round in a full circle with my arms out.
"You mean my bikini? What's wrong with it?" I said in mock concern. "Does it make me look," I took a deep breath as if the very thought made me want to cry and closed my eyes, "fat?" I opened my eyes wide.
"No! Of course not, querida, it makes you look stunning and beautiful. It makes you look how every woman should look, so graceful and...and..." he stopped as he saw me trying not to smile. Ha! So he did like my bikini.
He growled slightly and said, "It would be more appropriate if you covered up, more lady-like."
"But then, I wouldn't look as graceful and stunning and...what was the other one?" Jesse looked embarrassed. "Anyway," I continued, "I'm wearing this over the top." I tugged at my rather small sarong and Jesse just lifted a sceptical eyebrow.
I dug out some clothes and put them on. In my bathroom, of course. Then I finished off my homework. After dinner I watched TV with Doc, some documentary on the tribal natures of...well, tribes. Then I went upstairs and slept in a world of warm, tranquil dreams of Jesse and me.
So warm and tranquil were these dreams that I slept late and almost missed my ride for school.
What else is new?
At school I excused myself to Father Dom's office after assembly, he's always interested in my ghostly escapades. To my utter shock and disbelief – I actually apologised and said that I must've got the wrong room and turned to go out before I realised I was in Father Dom's office – Father D was already entertaining some ghostly guests. And Paul.
I stood by the door with my mouth hanging open. Paul actually looked a little annoyed and didn't even try to smirk at me.
"OK, so...what's going on here?" I asked when I'd recovered. I felt that at any second I would lose it and start freaking out.
"Oh, hello Susannah, I suppose you were coming here to tell me all about Louisa? Well, no need. She and Paul have already kindly filled me in," said Father Dom with a smile that revealed he was as shocked as I was about Paul being here and being helpful.
Then Paul had to spoil it all by saying, "Louisa, for some unfathomable reason, came to me this morning and asked me to help her move on. I took her to Father Dominic hoping he would oblige."
Ah. Paul obviously wasn't happy about being chosen by Louisa to help her. Like I said, Paul prefers the dead as minions, not as needing trapped souls searching for guidance.
"Paul was just so nice to me, so kind. He's a real gentleman," Louisa gushed, looking up at Paul and fluttering her eyelashes, clinging onto his arm. Paul frankly looked disgusted, but he smiled a rather forced smile at her then turned to me. I was trying to hide my amusement.
Louisa had a crush on Paul! Oh dear, poor Louisa.
Paul was trying to get Louisa off his arm subtly. It wasn't working.
"I'm sure Paul would be willing to help you, Louisa. I already have a ghost in need of help so Paul helping you would be..." I trailed off as I saw Paul's eyes widen in panic. I rolled mine and sighed.
"But, then again, Paul is a very busy guy," I shot a glare at him, "I guess I'll be assisting two ghosts. Neither of which know why they're stuck. Great." I scowled at Paul who just leered at me. That's appreciation for you.
Louisa visibly tightened her grip on Paul, who winced.
"But-" she began. Luckily for Paul, not so much for me, Father Dom interrupted.
"Speaking of ghosts, Susannah, how is Sean? I understand this weekend you two went over to his, ah, girlfriend's house?" Father D is always touchy about the goings-on of the two sexes.
"Oh yeah," I walked over to Father D's desk and flopped down in the chair. "Um, his girlfriend, unlike Sean, seems to have already moved on..." I looked up at Father D and saw puzzlement in his eyes.
"I'm not sure I understand, Susannah..."
"Basically, his girlfriend is already necking some other uglier guy, the stupid cow," I didn't say cow as I felt the anger bubble up inside of me. Paul snickered in the corner and I rounded on him. Standing up so fast the chair fell back. He looked a little scared.
"Oh, so you think it's funny, do you? You think it's funny that this sweet, kind, funny, smart, sensitive guy has had his heart broken by the same girl he risked his life for?! But, then again, that is so like you, Paul. You're the complete opposite of Sean, you're uncaring, mean, scary, you have no idea what love is! All you care about is lust! You deserve to have your heart trodden on and spat on by some complete bitch and slut! I hope you rot in hell, all alone with no one to love you, to even like you!"
My breathing was fast and shallow. It was the only sound that could be heard in the office. My heart was beating hard against my ribs. Paul was giving me a weird look. We stared at each other for a while then I turned away and said, very dignified, "Ugh".
I flopped back down into the chair and picked at my nails.
I looked up at Father D and saw him giving me a very hard look.
"What?" I demanded.
Father D just sighed and sat down. "I take it it didn't go to well then?"
"No, it didn't. Sean just spent the whole night crying and I just sat up and comforted him. All night. Since then, I haven't seen him. I mean, I'm not too worried, he's not the murdering type," as I said this I shot Paul a look, he was still staring at the space I'd been standing when I'd yelled at him. I turned my eyes back to Father Dom, "So I think he's just taking some time off. Maybe we should call him?"
Father Dom was giving me a half appraising, half wondrous look at me. "Very good idea, perhaps Paul could even try and help?" He looked at Paul who looked a bit taken back. "Good," said Father D, as if that settled it. You had to admire his sense of pursuit. But when would he give up? Paul just isn't the helping kind.
"Sean! Sean! Please come here, Se-ean!" I cupped my hands to my mouth and called. This was just for show. I can actually call with my mind. Wow, that sounds really cool and sci-fi, doesn't it? It's actually quite annoying. And sometimes, frankly inappropriate.
Sean materialised next to me expectantly.
"Hey," he said quietly.
"Hey," I said back. I was strangely glad to see him. I saw him looking around the room, puzzled. "Oh, this is Father Dom, Paul – he's another mediator, but not as nice, feel free to ignore him – and this is Louisa, a fellow trapped soul." Sean nodded his greetings at them who all greeted him back.
"Greetings, Sean, I'm Father Dominic, a mediator much like Susannah and Paul."
Paul just looked at Sean blankly. Sean frowned at him then turned to Louisa. Who had suddenly dropped Paul's arm.
"Hi, Sean, I'm Louisa. You know, I think we will get on so well. We have so much in common!" Yeah, I thought, you're both dead. She was fluttering her eyelashes again. Does that not make her eyes sore, after a while? Sean gave her a very weak smile and turned to me.
Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable. I mean, I had just told everyone about his humiliation and hurt, and here he was, almost parading it, unwillingly.
"Urm, we thought- Father Dom and I thought...that perhaps we could discuss how to get you...moved on..." Sean didn't react at all. He just kept looking at me. Then, "Oh". That's all. 'Oh'.
OK, now I felt really bad. This must be really embarrassing for him. Even more so when Louisa started nattering on.
"You know, Sean, "she started as she sidled up to, slinking her arm round his. He pulled his away abruptly, but that didn't dissuade her. "Not all girls are like your ex, some of us appreciate a man." I couldn't believe she'd just said that. How insensitive can you get???
"Haha, that's great, Louisa, really, but I'm sure Sean isn't that interested right now," I had to try and shut her up. But no, Louisa really is as dumb as she looks.
"Oh, but Susan-"
"Suze," I corrected sharply.
"Suze – I'm sure if the right woman came along," Louisa dropped her shoulders back dramatically – it looked as if she'd been grabbed by an invisible force, "Sean would be able to restore his broken heart. Sean, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm right here. Any time, any place." She placed her hand gently on his arm, and jerked it away.
"I'm fine. My heart isn't broken. I'm better off without her."
Boy was I feeling bad. My eyes were locked onto my feet and my face was blazing. Why did Louisa have to be so...so...blonde? Although, technically, they were only blonde highlights.
"Yes, of course Sean, you're so much better without her. But, you'll be much better with someone else, I'm sure. I know these things, Sean. Women's intuition, you could say," she gave him what I suppose was meant to be a reassuring smile. Paul burst out laughing and hastily turned it into a whooping cough. I could not get over my feeling of remorse.
"Like I said, Louisa, I'm fine." He walked over to the other side of my chair and sat down on the arm. I looked up at him apologetically. He gave me a very small smile. But it made me feel tonnes better, that's for sure.
Louisa huffed then walked back over to Paul, who's smile was suddenly wiped off.
Father D shuffled in his chair and coughed lightly.
"Perhaps, Susannah and Paul, you should go and catch the remainder of your morning lessons, hm? I will talk to Sean and Louisa." And with that, Paul almost ran out of the office, leaving a very disappointed Louisa clinging onto thin air, and I briefly touched Sean on the shoulder, before taking mine and Paul's hall passes with me.
Paul was waiting just outside the door, idly checking his hands, God knows what for.
"Looks like you're going to have a fun week," he said as I shut the door, his eyebrows were raised and his there was a smile tweaking at his lips.
"Oh shut up. You were no help." I shoved his hall pass at him and marched out of reception.
"What was I supposed to do? Smile and tell them everything was going to be OK?"
"Yes! And, oh I don't know, maybe you could even try doing your job and mediating!" I turned round and put my hands on my hips.
"You know just as well as I do that it's not our job." He was gazing at me with one of those inscrutable looks, all serious and scary.
"Whatever Paul, all I know is I'm being inundated with ghosts who seem to have no idea what they want. How am I supposed to have a life when I'm living with the dead? It was one simple task, Paul. All you had to do was help Louisa, I'm sure she'd only be too obliged to accept and do whatever you say." I said the last bit rather bitterly and turned round to walk off again.
But even through the back of my head, I could feel his smirk. He skipped up to me and put his arm round my waist. I stepped away from him but kept on walking.
"Anyone would think you were jealous, Suze," OK, then I stopped walking.
"No Paul, not anyone, just you. Because I am certainly not jealous. I'm just annoyed that you're leaving me with those two, on my own."
"I'm sure you're not that annoyed at being left with Sean on your own." Paul looked away with a furrowed brow.
"What?!"
Paul turned away and started walking off.
I had to half run after him. I grabbed his shoulder and pushed him against one of the columns in the breezeway. I pointed my finger at him and stood on tiptoes to look him square in the face.
"What did you mean by that?" He lowered his head to look at me.
"At least I know for sure you really do prefer dead guys to live ones."
"I only prefer Jesse to anyone. And I would much prefer it if he were alive, but he's not. And I won't let that stand in the way."
Paul flinched.
"And anyway, what gives you the idea I prefer dead ones? For your information, I only prefer one dead one. One. That is no basis for your theory. At all." I honestly was confused. And I wasn't making it any better. Now not only was Paul confusing me, but I was managing to confuse myself just as much.
"Oh, so your cares about Sean are purely platonic, I'm sure." He had an eyebrow raised. I lowered my tiptoes so I was standing at normal height.
"Of course they are. What else would they be?" I dropped my pointing finger to my side and stood perfectly still. What was Paul getting at?
"You just seem to be taking a certain amount of...interest in him."
"That's because he is a decent guy, and he needs my help. What, am I supposed to just turn my back on him and tell him to get off my back?" Paul just stared at me in response. I shook my head. "Look, Paul, Sean needs my help. He is polite, kind, nice and helpful in return. I am not just gonna turn my back on him and ignore him. Unlike you, I have a heart and I don't like being purposefully mean."
"I have a heart Suze, if you'd actually bother to take the time to get to know me better, you'd be able to find that out for yourself." He had shifted his weight so he was leaning into me and his arms were crossed.
"It's not that I can't be bothered, it's that you make yourself so goddam scary and even if I wanted to get to know you better, you'd only take advantage of it and I would end up getting hurt." We were staring at each other hard. Had I just admitted I was scared of Paul? Dammit.
"I would never hurt you, Suze, that's what you don't seem to realise. I care for you, and yet you're the one hurting me. You ignore me, you're convinced that I set out to try and ruin your life, scare you, hurt you. All I've ever wanted is you." His eyes were searching mine so thoroughly, with such earnest honesty, I had to look away. How could he do this to me? Make me hate him so much for, seemingly, trying to destroy my life, and then make me feel like the bad guy. Like I had misjudged him.
Who knows, maybe I had...?
"The reason I'm convinced you're purposefully setting out to ruin my life is because all you seem to care about is getting rid of Jesse. I ignore you, because if I pay you any attention-"
If I pay him any attention...what?
What exactly was it that made me feel so insecure around Paul? What am I so afraid of that makes me fear for paying any attention to Paul? I mean, I love Jesse. That much is obvious...but what about Paul? See, he does totally mess up my life.
His features flickered slightly as I stopped mid-sentence.
"If you pay me any attention...what?" He was echoing my exact thoughts. Argh, how do I get out of this one?
"Then...you'll...um...do something bad...yeah..." Wow, great cover up.
Paul stepped forward, closer to me. Suddenly I realised why I shouldn't pay any attention to him.
"That's not what you were going to say, Suze," his voice was so deep and trusting. It sounded so nice, so full of emotion. I closed my eyes briefly and it spread through me. It made me feel strangely giddy. I opened my eyes and found myself gazing into two dazzling pools of pure, shimmering azure. I'd never realised how pretty his eyes were before. The only times I remembered them were when they were crazy and angry... This thought brought me out of my stupor.
I blinked roughly and shook myself. I stamped my foot, to Paul; I was just a pathetic puppet he could toy with.
"This is why, Paul! You play with me! You toy with my emotions! You don't respect me, you just see something you want but can't have. Your feelings for me don't go any deeper than lust!"
This wasn't what Paul wanted to hear. He suddenly grew very angry and grabbed me by the arms. Quite hard, actually.
"That is not true! I respect you, I'm just trying to prove to you that you do have emotions for me. And you know it! That's why you avoid me. Pretend to hate me. Because you don't even trust yourself! All I'm trying to show you is that you would be able to live a normal life with me, with someone living!" The words burst from his mouth and he shook me at certain words to add emphasis. All it achieved was me getting angrier and a head-ache.
"That is not true!"
"Yes it is. Admit it Suze, you have feelings for me, even if they are just lust. I don't care. Anything, anything at all that lets me know I'm not just a nobody to you!"
"All you want, Paul, is someone you can control. Maybe not even that. Maybe all you want is someone to sleep with! Well, it's not going to be me, get it into your head, Paul, I-love-Jesse." I had pushed him off me so he was no longer gripping my arms – I had started to lose feeling in them.
He looked like he wanted to slap me. Honest to God. For the first time ever, it looked like Paul had wanted to physically hurt me. Normally all he wanted was to shake me up a bit. But this time...
To be perfectly honest, I would've cherished it. It would prove to me he had no real feelings for me. 'Cos he didn't. Of course he didn't...
Right?
But before Paul could do what looked like slap me, someone came up behind me and put a firm, possessive grip on my shoulder.
Paul's eyes darted up to the person's face in annoyance then they seemed to shrink slightly.
"What the hell is going on here?" Sean growled, in a voice so angry it had gone all deep and scary. He looked pretty menacing too, and not just the fact that the lockers were rattling and dust was falling from the breezeway beams and columns because of the vibrating columns. But there was a muscle dancing in his jaw, and his pupils were so small they looked as if they weren't even there. His hand on my shoulder was tight and heavy, and his other hand was clenched into an incredibly taught fist.
Paul's raised arm dropped so fast to his side it looked as if some invisible dwarf had jumped onto it and put all his weight on it.
"What's it to you?" Paul's voice was defiant...but not as sturdy as it usually was.
Sean stepped closer to me, closer to Paul. The lockers rattled more violently and the columns were threatening to crack they were vibrating so much.
"Paul was just going, Sean. Seriously," I intervened quickly. A lot of dust was coming from the breezeway and the lockers were making a lot of noise. Paul made a small growling noise then walked away, his eyes still locked with Sean's and not once glancing at me.
When Paul had turned the corner and was out of sight, the lockers still didn't stop rattling.
I tried to turn around to face Sean but his grip on my shoulder was incredibly tight. Though not enough to hurt me, just enough to keep me rooted in the same spot.
I tapped his hand on my shoulder with my finger but nothing happened, Sean was still staring at where Paul had turned the corner.
My neck was starting to hurt from craning round to look at Sean now so I slapped his hand.
His head slowly turned to look at me. He kinda stared at me, incomprehensively, until I pointed to his hand, still grasping my shoulder. Then he snapped out of his daze and returned to normal-Sean, instead of Hulk-Sean.
"Sorry, didn't mean to grab you so hard," he said apologetically.
"S'OK, no harm done." I said cheerfully, massaging my shoulder to get rid of the pins and needles.
But Sean had already turned back to stare at the corner again.
"Thanks for intervening," I tried again, "Paul was just being...Paul. He's kind of obsessed with me, you know? Can't get it into my head that he's a big freak and I don't like him, let alone love him. So he likes to threaten me and scare me. But I can handle myself so, you know, you don't really have to worry about me."
Sean turned to look at me.
"But he was going to hit you," he said, shocked. I shrugged.
"And I would've hit him back. Or worse. No biggie."
"He could've hurt you though," responded Sean, still amazed. He was worse than Jesse, I swear.
I just shrugged again.
"It would've been worse for him. Trust me."
Sean shook his head.
"You're one heck of a girl. Most girls would've screamed or something."
I took offence at that. I mean, sure, some girls would've screamed and cried for the help of a big, strong man. But most girls would've wanted revenge.
"This isn't the fifteenth century, you know. Girls know how to fight back."
Sean just shook his head. Then looked at me hard.
"Are you OK, though? No, shock or anything? He didn't hit you anywhere else, did he?"
"Nah, I'm good. Seriously though, you don't have to worry about me. I've dealt with worse things than Paul Slater. He's alive for one thing."
"I guess. I just got so angry 'cos I thought he was gonna hit you and hurt you. And then what? What if he'd done some real damage? He could've really hurt you."
Sheesh, Sean was worse than Jesse by far.
"I would've been fine." Then, when Sean looked like he was going to protest some more, I said, "Seriously, Sean. I'm fine. If I was in real danger, I would've called Jesse or someone. Now I know to call you. OK? If I'm in trouble, you'll be the first to know."
Sean looked a little relieved at that, and his troubled brow relaxed.
"You shouldn't have to deal with this," he said seriously.
I sighed. Don't I know it.
"Paul's a pain, but it's not too bad I guess-"
"No, not Paul. I meant dealing with the dead. I mean, they're- we're stronger than the living. It would be so easy for a ghost to just...you know. Really hurt you."
I stared at Sean in disbelief.
"We mediators are hard to kill. One ghost once threw me off my house roof into a big ditch, I had a huge bump on my head, but apart from that I was fine. And a bunch of ghosts tried to drown me. They were the same ones that beat me up and put me in hospital with a bunch of broken ribs and other various snapped bones. And that's just the dead! The living I have to deal with! This one guy, he tried to shoot me-" I stopped abruptly as I saw the colour drain out of Sean's face.
He looked positively sick with worry.
"Ah hem, but you know. There are some good points. There's Jesse, for one thing. And you. I get to make some cool friends...until they move on. And I even got a new pet out of one...though whether that's a good thing..."
Sean didn't look convinced.
"Oh, don't worry about it Sean. Let's just worry 'bout you moving on up. Once you're up there, you'll completely forget about me, and you'll be living in bliss, for eternity."
Sean just stood there, looking at me like I was a crazy woman. Even I have my doubts about my sanity sometimes.
Then all the classes came pouring out of their rooms as the lunch bell tolled. CeeCee and Adam approached me, telling me about my homework and giving me their notes.
For the rest of the day, though, every time I turned a corner, I saw a faint twinkle of someone dematerialising.
Sean obviously thought Paul was going to pounce and finish off doing whatever he was going to do before Sean interrupted.
It was kinda comforting, though.
Sean was like my guardian angel.
Shame he'd have to leave, sooner or later, I thought bitterly, I know I could do with a guardian angel.
Then I thought of Jesse.
Then back to Sean.
Jesse wasn't so much of a guardian angel, as a reliable friend. Boyfriend, now.
It was settled.
Sean was my new guardian angel.
A/N: Sorry it's been a while!! I've just gone back to school though, and it's busy busy busy!
Urm...I am English...since you asked...(is it that obvious????)
Not much really happens in this chapter (I'm trying to figure out how to get more action in it!!!!!! It's hard work!! Especially seeing as I don't have a plot. But trust me, Louisa's gonna get a lot more evil and violent...MOOOWAHAHAHHAA)
Thank you as usual to all my BEEEAAAUTIFUL reviewers – you seriously light up my life...or at least, my email account...
P.S – this chapter is quite long, isn't it? Oops...
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When I got home I ran upstairs and into my bathroom.
Since when was I getting upset about the fact my dad is dead and hasn't visited me in ages? I threw cold water on my face. I was a bit ashamed of my reaction by the beach. I never get upset. Well, in public anyway. And Paul had seen! I don't know why that was making me feel worse. The fact Paul had seen me briefly fall apart for no reason.
But it was. Making me feel worse, I mean.
Once I was my usual self I walked into my bedroom and grabbed some clothes to put on. I was still in my bikini and getting a bit chilly after the change of warm sun and gently crisping skin to my cool, tiled bathroom.
Jesse was sat in his customary place on my window seat. Spike had just appeared on the porch roof as was his usual entrance. Jesse turned around when I exited my bathroom.
He scowled at my bikini. I rolled my eyes.
"Couldn't you wear something over the top of...of...that?" He said as he nodded his head sharply at me. Bless him; he looked so adorable.
I turned round in a full circle with my arms out.
"You mean my bikini? What's wrong with it?" I said in mock concern. "Does it make me look," I took a deep breath as if the very thought made me want to cry and closed my eyes, "fat?" I opened my eyes wide.
"No! Of course not, querida, it makes you look stunning and beautiful. It makes you look how every woman should look, so graceful and...and..." he stopped as he saw me trying not to smile. Ha! So he did like my bikini.
He growled slightly and said, "It would be more appropriate if you covered up, more lady-like."
"But then, I wouldn't look as graceful and stunning and...what was the other one?" Jesse looked embarrassed. "Anyway," I continued, "I'm wearing this over the top." I tugged at my rather small sarong and Jesse just lifted a sceptical eyebrow.
I dug out some clothes and put them on. In my bathroom, of course. Then I finished off my homework. After dinner I watched TV with Doc, some documentary on the tribal natures of...well, tribes. Then I went upstairs and slept in a world of warm, tranquil dreams of Jesse and me.
So warm and tranquil were these dreams that I slept late and almost missed my ride for school.
What else is new?
At school I excused myself to Father Dom's office after assembly, he's always interested in my ghostly escapades. To my utter shock and disbelief – I actually apologised and said that I must've got the wrong room and turned to go out before I realised I was in Father Dom's office – Father D was already entertaining some ghostly guests. And Paul.
I stood by the door with my mouth hanging open. Paul actually looked a little annoyed and didn't even try to smirk at me.
"OK, so...what's going on here?" I asked when I'd recovered. I felt that at any second I would lose it and start freaking out.
"Oh, hello Susannah, I suppose you were coming here to tell me all about Louisa? Well, no need. She and Paul have already kindly filled me in," said Father Dom with a smile that revealed he was as shocked as I was about Paul being here and being helpful.
Then Paul had to spoil it all by saying, "Louisa, for some unfathomable reason, came to me this morning and asked me to help her move on. I took her to Father Dominic hoping he would oblige."
Ah. Paul obviously wasn't happy about being chosen by Louisa to help her. Like I said, Paul prefers the dead as minions, not as needing trapped souls searching for guidance.
"Paul was just so nice to me, so kind. He's a real gentleman," Louisa gushed, looking up at Paul and fluttering her eyelashes, clinging onto his arm. Paul frankly looked disgusted, but he smiled a rather forced smile at her then turned to me. I was trying to hide my amusement.
Louisa had a crush on Paul! Oh dear, poor Louisa.
Paul was trying to get Louisa off his arm subtly. It wasn't working.
"I'm sure Paul would be willing to help you, Louisa. I already have a ghost in need of help so Paul helping you would be..." I trailed off as I saw Paul's eyes widen in panic. I rolled mine and sighed.
"But, then again, Paul is a very busy guy," I shot a glare at him, "I guess I'll be assisting two ghosts. Neither of which know why they're stuck. Great." I scowled at Paul who just leered at me. That's appreciation for you.
Louisa visibly tightened her grip on Paul, who winced.
"But-" she began. Luckily for Paul, not so much for me, Father Dom interrupted.
"Speaking of ghosts, Susannah, how is Sean? I understand this weekend you two went over to his, ah, girlfriend's house?" Father D is always touchy about the goings-on of the two sexes.
"Oh yeah," I walked over to Father D's desk and flopped down in the chair. "Um, his girlfriend, unlike Sean, seems to have already moved on..." I looked up at Father D and saw puzzlement in his eyes.
"I'm not sure I understand, Susannah..."
"Basically, his girlfriend is already necking some other uglier guy, the stupid cow," I didn't say cow as I felt the anger bubble up inside of me. Paul snickered in the corner and I rounded on him. Standing up so fast the chair fell back. He looked a little scared.
"Oh, so you think it's funny, do you? You think it's funny that this sweet, kind, funny, smart, sensitive guy has had his heart broken by the same girl he risked his life for?! But, then again, that is so like you, Paul. You're the complete opposite of Sean, you're uncaring, mean, scary, you have no idea what love is! All you care about is lust! You deserve to have your heart trodden on and spat on by some complete bitch and slut! I hope you rot in hell, all alone with no one to love you, to even like you!"
My breathing was fast and shallow. It was the only sound that could be heard in the office. My heart was beating hard against my ribs. Paul was giving me a weird look. We stared at each other for a while then I turned away and said, very dignified, "Ugh".
I flopped back down into the chair and picked at my nails.
I looked up at Father D and saw him giving me a very hard look.
"What?" I demanded.
Father D just sighed and sat down. "I take it it didn't go to well then?"
"No, it didn't. Sean just spent the whole night crying and I just sat up and comforted him. All night. Since then, I haven't seen him. I mean, I'm not too worried, he's not the murdering type," as I said this I shot Paul a look, he was still staring at the space I'd been standing when I'd yelled at him. I turned my eyes back to Father Dom, "So I think he's just taking some time off. Maybe we should call him?"
Father Dom was giving me a half appraising, half wondrous look at me. "Very good idea, perhaps Paul could even try and help?" He looked at Paul who looked a bit taken back. "Good," said Father D, as if that settled it. You had to admire his sense of pursuit. But when would he give up? Paul just isn't the helping kind.
"Sean! Sean! Please come here, Se-ean!" I cupped my hands to my mouth and called. This was just for show. I can actually call with my mind. Wow, that sounds really cool and sci-fi, doesn't it? It's actually quite annoying. And sometimes, frankly inappropriate.
Sean materialised next to me expectantly.
"Hey," he said quietly.
"Hey," I said back. I was strangely glad to see him. I saw him looking around the room, puzzled. "Oh, this is Father Dom, Paul – he's another mediator, but not as nice, feel free to ignore him – and this is Louisa, a fellow trapped soul." Sean nodded his greetings at them who all greeted him back.
"Greetings, Sean, I'm Father Dominic, a mediator much like Susannah and Paul."
Paul just looked at Sean blankly. Sean frowned at him then turned to Louisa. Who had suddenly dropped Paul's arm.
"Hi, Sean, I'm Louisa. You know, I think we will get on so well. We have so much in common!" Yeah, I thought, you're both dead. She was fluttering her eyelashes again. Does that not make her eyes sore, after a while? Sean gave her a very weak smile and turned to me.
Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable. I mean, I had just told everyone about his humiliation and hurt, and here he was, almost parading it, unwillingly.
"Urm, we thought- Father Dom and I thought...that perhaps we could discuss how to get you...moved on..." Sean didn't react at all. He just kept looking at me. Then, "Oh". That's all. 'Oh'.
OK, now I felt really bad. This must be really embarrassing for him. Even more so when Louisa started nattering on.
"You know, Sean, "she started as she sidled up to, slinking her arm round his. He pulled his away abruptly, but that didn't dissuade her. "Not all girls are like your ex, some of us appreciate a man." I couldn't believe she'd just said that. How insensitive can you get???
"Haha, that's great, Louisa, really, but I'm sure Sean isn't that interested right now," I had to try and shut her up. But no, Louisa really is as dumb as she looks.
"Oh, but Susan-"
"Suze," I corrected sharply.
"Suze – I'm sure if the right woman came along," Louisa dropped her shoulders back dramatically – it looked as if she'd been grabbed by an invisible force, "Sean would be able to restore his broken heart. Sean, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm right here. Any time, any place." She placed her hand gently on his arm, and jerked it away.
"I'm fine. My heart isn't broken. I'm better off without her."
Boy was I feeling bad. My eyes were locked onto my feet and my face was blazing. Why did Louisa have to be so...so...blonde? Although, technically, they were only blonde highlights.
"Yes, of course Sean, you're so much better without her. But, you'll be much better with someone else, I'm sure. I know these things, Sean. Women's intuition, you could say," she gave him what I suppose was meant to be a reassuring smile. Paul burst out laughing and hastily turned it into a whooping cough. I could not get over my feeling of remorse.
"Like I said, Louisa, I'm fine." He walked over to the other side of my chair and sat down on the arm. I looked up at him apologetically. He gave me a very small smile. But it made me feel tonnes better, that's for sure.
Louisa huffed then walked back over to Paul, who's smile was suddenly wiped off.
Father D shuffled in his chair and coughed lightly.
"Perhaps, Susannah and Paul, you should go and catch the remainder of your morning lessons, hm? I will talk to Sean and Louisa." And with that, Paul almost ran out of the office, leaving a very disappointed Louisa clinging onto thin air, and I briefly touched Sean on the shoulder, before taking mine and Paul's hall passes with me.
Paul was waiting just outside the door, idly checking his hands, God knows what for.
"Looks like you're going to have a fun week," he said as I shut the door, his eyebrows were raised and his there was a smile tweaking at his lips.
"Oh shut up. You were no help." I shoved his hall pass at him and marched out of reception.
"What was I supposed to do? Smile and tell them everything was going to be OK?"
"Yes! And, oh I don't know, maybe you could even try doing your job and mediating!" I turned round and put my hands on my hips.
"You know just as well as I do that it's not our job." He was gazing at me with one of those inscrutable looks, all serious and scary.
"Whatever Paul, all I know is I'm being inundated with ghosts who seem to have no idea what they want. How am I supposed to have a life when I'm living with the dead? It was one simple task, Paul. All you had to do was help Louisa, I'm sure she'd only be too obliged to accept and do whatever you say." I said the last bit rather bitterly and turned round to walk off again.
But even through the back of my head, I could feel his smirk. He skipped up to me and put his arm round my waist. I stepped away from him but kept on walking.
"Anyone would think you were jealous, Suze," OK, then I stopped walking.
"No Paul, not anyone, just you. Because I am certainly not jealous. I'm just annoyed that you're leaving me with those two, on my own."
"I'm sure you're not that annoyed at being left with Sean on your own." Paul looked away with a furrowed brow.
"What?!"
Paul turned away and started walking off.
I had to half run after him. I grabbed his shoulder and pushed him against one of the columns in the breezeway. I pointed my finger at him and stood on tiptoes to look him square in the face.
"What did you mean by that?" He lowered his head to look at me.
"At least I know for sure you really do prefer dead guys to live ones."
"I only prefer Jesse to anyone. And I would much prefer it if he were alive, but he's not. And I won't let that stand in the way."
Paul flinched.
"And anyway, what gives you the idea I prefer dead ones? For your information, I only prefer one dead one. One. That is no basis for your theory. At all." I honestly was confused. And I wasn't making it any better. Now not only was Paul confusing me, but I was managing to confuse myself just as much.
"Oh, so your cares about Sean are purely platonic, I'm sure." He had an eyebrow raised. I lowered my tiptoes so I was standing at normal height.
"Of course they are. What else would they be?" I dropped my pointing finger to my side and stood perfectly still. What was Paul getting at?
"You just seem to be taking a certain amount of...interest in him."
"That's because he is a decent guy, and he needs my help. What, am I supposed to just turn my back on him and tell him to get off my back?" Paul just stared at me in response. I shook my head. "Look, Paul, Sean needs my help. He is polite, kind, nice and helpful in return. I am not just gonna turn my back on him and ignore him. Unlike you, I have a heart and I don't like being purposefully mean."
"I have a heart Suze, if you'd actually bother to take the time to get to know me better, you'd be able to find that out for yourself." He had shifted his weight so he was leaning into me and his arms were crossed.
"It's not that I can't be bothered, it's that you make yourself so goddam scary and even if I wanted to get to know you better, you'd only take advantage of it and I would end up getting hurt." We were staring at each other hard. Had I just admitted I was scared of Paul? Dammit.
"I would never hurt you, Suze, that's what you don't seem to realise. I care for you, and yet you're the one hurting me. You ignore me, you're convinced that I set out to try and ruin your life, scare you, hurt you. All I've ever wanted is you." His eyes were searching mine so thoroughly, with such earnest honesty, I had to look away. How could he do this to me? Make me hate him so much for, seemingly, trying to destroy my life, and then make me feel like the bad guy. Like I had misjudged him.
Who knows, maybe I had...?
"The reason I'm convinced you're purposefully setting out to ruin my life is because all you seem to care about is getting rid of Jesse. I ignore you, because if I pay you any attention-"
If I pay him any attention...what?
What exactly was it that made me feel so insecure around Paul? What am I so afraid of that makes me fear for paying any attention to Paul? I mean, I love Jesse. That much is obvious...but what about Paul? See, he does totally mess up my life.
His features flickered slightly as I stopped mid-sentence.
"If you pay me any attention...what?" He was echoing my exact thoughts. Argh, how do I get out of this one?
"Then...you'll...um...do something bad...yeah..." Wow, great cover up.
Paul stepped forward, closer to me. Suddenly I realised why I shouldn't pay any attention to him.
"That's not what you were going to say, Suze," his voice was so deep and trusting. It sounded so nice, so full of emotion. I closed my eyes briefly and it spread through me. It made me feel strangely giddy. I opened my eyes and found myself gazing into two dazzling pools of pure, shimmering azure. I'd never realised how pretty his eyes were before. The only times I remembered them were when they were crazy and angry... This thought brought me out of my stupor.
I blinked roughly and shook myself. I stamped my foot, to Paul; I was just a pathetic puppet he could toy with.
"This is why, Paul! You play with me! You toy with my emotions! You don't respect me, you just see something you want but can't have. Your feelings for me don't go any deeper than lust!"
This wasn't what Paul wanted to hear. He suddenly grew very angry and grabbed me by the arms. Quite hard, actually.
"That is not true! I respect you, I'm just trying to prove to you that you do have emotions for me. And you know it! That's why you avoid me. Pretend to hate me. Because you don't even trust yourself! All I'm trying to show you is that you would be able to live a normal life with me, with someone living!" The words burst from his mouth and he shook me at certain words to add emphasis. All it achieved was me getting angrier and a head-ache.
"That is not true!"
"Yes it is. Admit it Suze, you have feelings for me, even if they are just lust. I don't care. Anything, anything at all that lets me know I'm not just a nobody to you!"
"All you want, Paul, is someone you can control. Maybe not even that. Maybe all you want is someone to sleep with! Well, it's not going to be me, get it into your head, Paul, I-love-Jesse." I had pushed him off me so he was no longer gripping my arms – I had started to lose feeling in them.
He looked like he wanted to slap me. Honest to God. For the first time ever, it looked like Paul had wanted to physically hurt me. Normally all he wanted was to shake me up a bit. But this time...
To be perfectly honest, I would've cherished it. It would prove to me he had no real feelings for me. 'Cos he didn't. Of course he didn't...
Right?
But before Paul could do what looked like slap me, someone came up behind me and put a firm, possessive grip on my shoulder.
Paul's eyes darted up to the person's face in annoyance then they seemed to shrink slightly.
"What the hell is going on here?" Sean growled, in a voice so angry it had gone all deep and scary. He looked pretty menacing too, and not just the fact that the lockers were rattling and dust was falling from the breezeway beams and columns because of the vibrating columns. But there was a muscle dancing in his jaw, and his pupils were so small they looked as if they weren't even there. His hand on my shoulder was tight and heavy, and his other hand was clenched into an incredibly taught fist.
Paul's raised arm dropped so fast to his side it looked as if some invisible dwarf had jumped onto it and put all his weight on it.
"What's it to you?" Paul's voice was defiant...but not as sturdy as it usually was.
Sean stepped closer to me, closer to Paul. The lockers rattled more violently and the columns were threatening to crack they were vibrating so much.
"Paul was just going, Sean. Seriously," I intervened quickly. A lot of dust was coming from the breezeway and the lockers were making a lot of noise. Paul made a small growling noise then walked away, his eyes still locked with Sean's and not once glancing at me.
When Paul had turned the corner and was out of sight, the lockers still didn't stop rattling.
I tried to turn around to face Sean but his grip on my shoulder was incredibly tight. Though not enough to hurt me, just enough to keep me rooted in the same spot.
I tapped his hand on my shoulder with my finger but nothing happened, Sean was still staring at where Paul had turned the corner.
My neck was starting to hurt from craning round to look at Sean now so I slapped his hand.
His head slowly turned to look at me. He kinda stared at me, incomprehensively, until I pointed to his hand, still grasping my shoulder. Then he snapped out of his daze and returned to normal-Sean, instead of Hulk-Sean.
"Sorry, didn't mean to grab you so hard," he said apologetically.
"S'OK, no harm done." I said cheerfully, massaging my shoulder to get rid of the pins and needles.
But Sean had already turned back to stare at the corner again.
"Thanks for intervening," I tried again, "Paul was just being...Paul. He's kind of obsessed with me, you know? Can't get it into my head that he's a big freak and I don't like him, let alone love him. So he likes to threaten me and scare me. But I can handle myself so, you know, you don't really have to worry about me."
Sean turned to look at me.
"But he was going to hit you," he said, shocked. I shrugged.
"And I would've hit him back. Or worse. No biggie."
"He could've hurt you though," responded Sean, still amazed. He was worse than Jesse, I swear.
I just shrugged again.
"It would've been worse for him. Trust me."
Sean shook his head.
"You're one heck of a girl. Most girls would've screamed or something."
I took offence at that. I mean, sure, some girls would've screamed and cried for the help of a big, strong man. But most girls would've wanted revenge.
"This isn't the fifteenth century, you know. Girls know how to fight back."
Sean just shook his head. Then looked at me hard.
"Are you OK, though? No, shock or anything? He didn't hit you anywhere else, did he?"
"Nah, I'm good. Seriously though, you don't have to worry about me. I've dealt with worse things than Paul Slater. He's alive for one thing."
"I guess. I just got so angry 'cos I thought he was gonna hit you and hurt you. And then what? What if he'd done some real damage? He could've really hurt you."
Sheesh, Sean was worse than Jesse by far.
"I would've been fine." Then, when Sean looked like he was going to protest some more, I said, "Seriously, Sean. I'm fine. If I was in real danger, I would've called Jesse or someone. Now I know to call you. OK? If I'm in trouble, you'll be the first to know."
Sean looked a little relieved at that, and his troubled brow relaxed.
"You shouldn't have to deal with this," he said seriously.
I sighed. Don't I know it.
"Paul's a pain, but it's not too bad I guess-"
"No, not Paul. I meant dealing with the dead. I mean, they're- we're stronger than the living. It would be so easy for a ghost to just...you know. Really hurt you."
I stared at Sean in disbelief.
"We mediators are hard to kill. One ghost once threw me off my house roof into a big ditch, I had a huge bump on my head, but apart from that I was fine. And a bunch of ghosts tried to drown me. They were the same ones that beat me up and put me in hospital with a bunch of broken ribs and other various snapped bones. And that's just the dead! The living I have to deal with! This one guy, he tried to shoot me-" I stopped abruptly as I saw the colour drain out of Sean's face.
He looked positively sick with worry.
"Ah hem, but you know. There are some good points. There's Jesse, for one thing. And you. I get to make some cool friends...until they move on. And I even got a new pet out of one...though whether that's a good thing..."
Sean didn't look convinced.
"Oh, don't worry about it Sean. Let's just worry 'bout you moving on up. Once you're up there, you'll completely forget about me, and you'll be living in bliss, for eternity."
Sean just stood there, looking at me like I was a crazy woman. Even I have my doubts about my sanity sometimes.
Then all the classes came pouring out of their rooms as the lunch bell tolled. CeeCee and Adam approached me, telling me about my homework and giving me their notes.
For the rest of the day, though, every time I turned a corner, I saw a faint twinkle of someone dematerialising.
Sean obviously thought Paul was going to pounce and finish off doing whatever he was going to do before Sean interrupted.
It was kinda comforting, though.
Sean was like my guardian angel.
Shame he'd have to leave, sooner or later, I thought bitterly, I know I could do with a guardian angel.
Then I thought of Jesse.
Then back to Sean.
Jesse wasn't so much of a guardian angel, as a reliable friend. Boyfriend, now.
It was settled.
Sean was my new guardian angel.