Disclaimer: Yeah, cos I really write like Meg Cabot. Dumbasses. (please don't hurt me)
Nice Hayley: Every couple has fights, Jesse and Suze are soooo not gonna get away from their's! Moowhahahahahaaa
reesespeices88: could your name be any odder? Of course I'm going to fix all the problems up............................................... ;-D
muzacgirl: I would have socked Louisa as soon as I met her, but then again, I do know what's gonna happen in this story...so I have reason to hate her. And I don't like Sean that much either. But again, I know what he's gonna do later on in this story. I love having power. Hehehehe
Teen Psycho: HOW MANY NAMES DO YOU NEED???
Chayter: I like you. Please keep reviewing! Hehe
Cheerleader Camp Leader: STAY AWAY FROM ME, JEAN!!!! AND STOP MOCKING ME AND EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!! I mean it, stay away!! Stop your judgement..
TT: HALLO TIAN. Hehehe. Thank you.
Mystique Angelique: now there's a name I can remember (it rhymes). I NEED FLUFF TOO. And I have the power to get fluff...excellent
After a silent dinner – I wasn't in the mood for talking and answered any questions directed at me with grunts. Until eventually my mom got so angry with me she just told me off for spoiling the mood and made me do the dishes – I stormed upstairs and stopped abruptly as I slammed my door shut behind me.
"Hey Suze," Sean had a sheepish smile on his oh-so nice face. I hated his ex-girlfriend.
"Hey Sean." I said tiredly and straddled my desk chair. "What's up?"
Sean fidgeted with his hands a little whilst staring at his shoes.
"Sean?" He was asking oddly.
He looked up at me with a troubled gaze. "I-I was just wondering how you are?" He seemed a bit anxious.
I growled as I had flashbacks of Jesse and me arguing.
"Not so good." I scowled at the window seat where Jesse usually sat. Spike was curled up there, his little legs twitching and his tail swishing. Occasionally a draft would blow through my open window and his ears would flinch.
Oh to be cat, I thought wistfully.
"Oh?" Sean raised his eyebrows in concern and sat opposite me on my bed. I manoeuvred my chair so I was directly opposite him.
"Yeah, Jesse and I had a bit of a bust up." I fixed my gaze on Sean's face. It was really a nice face. His chin was perfect – no unwanted dimples, not too pointy, not too blunt, his cheekbones were etched onto his face, the kind you want to run your fingers along. His lips were the kind that looked as though God had made them out of the softest material in the world, they were full – but not too full - somewhat wide, they were nicely shaped and they were a gently pinkish shade.
I realised I'd been staring at his lips a bit too long and, reluctantly, lifted my gaze to his eyes...only to drag them down to the floor when I saw the naked concern they held for me.
"Yeah, he, um, he disagrees on some of my mediating techniques," suddenly I felt very embarrassed and on show. I had nowhere to hide from Sean's penetrable looks. And how was I supposed to tell him that Jesse and I had fallen out because of him?
I lifted my eyes from the floor. They travelled up Sean's long, muscly, jean-clad legs, the kind of jeans that fitted perfectly, showing off every...muscle...
I coughed in disgust as I thought that last thought and ducked my head again to hide the glowing scarletness of it.
I love Jesse I love Jesse I love Jesse.... "I can't really blame him," Sean said, ignoring my embarrassment, "I mean, it's a pretty dangerous job. Especially for you." That last remark made me look up sharply.
"What do you mean, 'especially for me'? Cos, just because I'm a woman, doesn't mean I'm any less capable than you men, in fact, I reckon I'm stronger. Women are much more gentle and easier to confide in than men. And we're subtler. And more agile. I can move quickly and can fight just as well as any guy."
Sean appeared very scared at my angry ramblings.
"No! No that's not what I meant! I meant that, cos you're really pretty and...feminine...lots of guys would be only too willing to...take advantage...and stuff..." Suddenly the roles were reversed. Sean was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed.
And I was just plain confused.
"Like Paul." He said. Oh, so that's what he meant.
"Oh, Paul's just got a little crush on me. Like I said, it's nothing to worry about. And if any other guy comes near me, I just quick him in the family jewels." Sean winced as I said the last bit and his hands twitched slightly and subtly moved over his...ah hem...area...
I hid my smirk with a cough and turned my head.
"Anyway," I said, turning my head back to look at him, "I can handle Paul. He says he's in love with me, but I reckon he just wants to get into my pants cos I'm the only girl who hasn't wanted to get into his."
OK, I cannot believe I just said that.
I was shocked...but I carried on talking.
Where was this coming from?
It was like, Sean had this magnet inside him...and it was drawing out all my feelings on the matter...all the things I'd never said.
I kept on talking, and Sean kept on listening.
"I'm the only girl he's met who hasn't been so...easy. And I think, to him, it's kind of a turn on when I hit him and try and get him off me. Not that I do that to turn him on!" I reassured Sean hurriedly. I did so not want to give Sean the wrong impression.
He just nodded and smiled to let me continue.
So I did.
"I just can't be too...forceful...to him, otherwise he might," I swallowed hard, "exorcise Jesse."
"And you don't want that?"
"Of course not!" I stared at Sean. He stared back. "When Paul last exorcised Jesse, I had to go back into Shadowland – that's where ghosts go before they move on – and I had to get him myself. And then Paul cut my rope, so I couldn't get back down to earth. And he stood there and laughed...laughed as Jesse ad I remained stuck there..." I curled my legs up into my chest as I remembered my nightmares I had – and still do have.
"Paul sounds like someone you don't wanna get on the wrong side of," Sean put in. I lifted my gaze to him.
"Duh," I said without feeling. Then a thought struck me. And I bolt of fear shot though my heart.
"Oh my God...Oh. My. God..."
"Suze...Suze! Are you OK? Suze?" I looked at Sean, but my eyes didn't see him.
"He's going to exorcise you..."
"What?" My eyes focused on Sean has his hand gripped my chin. Hard. He had leapt off the bed and was crouched in front of me, his big brown eyes full of apprehension.
"Paul...he-he doesn't like it when people – ghosts – upset him...I think...I think he's going to exorcise you." I searched his eyes for fear.
And found none.
Sean just sighed and dropped his hand. He had stopped gripping my chin and had briefly stroked my cheek. I hadn't even noticed. But now I could feel the hot burning feeling where he had touched me.
The same hot burning feeling I got whenever Paul or Jesse touched me.
I blinked and realised I had a tear in my eye.
"Aren't you even a little bit worried? Or scared?"
"Nah, it doesn't matter really. My life is over, I'm dead. It doesn't really matter where I go anymore."
"But to be exorcised!" I didn't understand. Being exorcised would be...well, it would be final. And evil. It would send you to purgatory.
Sean just smiled dejectedly.
"Suze, I think you need to stop worrying about the dead, and start caring more about living. I can see why Jesse wouldn't like you mediating all your life. If I were your boyfriend..." Sean trailed off, and an almost wishful look passed over his face.
Or maybe it was my imagination?
"If I were your boyfriend, I don't think I'd ever let you go. I wouldn't be able to. I'd be so scared of what would happen." He gave a bitter laugh and continued, "I'm not even your boyfriend now, but I still got scared when I saw that Paul guy about to hit you. I couldn't bear to see you get hurt."
His eyes showed such honesty, I was speechless. I was so shocked.
The only other guy who had shown me such...care...was Jesse. And Jesse was in love with me.
But Sean...?
Why did he care so much?
And why did I care so much about how he felt for me?
"I told you," I said in a gentle voice, "I can handle Paul. And the dead."
Sean just shook his head.
"I can't believe Jesse doesn't just follow you around all day. To help you with things like Paul, and angry ghosts."
Before I could defend Jesse, a deep voice spoke from my window seat. As I looked over to the window seat, I realised how dark it was. But I didn't dare clap my hands to turn on my lights. I didn't want to break the quiet. I realised Sean and I must have been whispering.
"If you knew Susannah, you would know she gets very angry at being protected." Jesse's voice was eloquent with anger and quiet forcefulness.
Sean stood up hastily.
"O-of course," he stuttered. Jesse's presence was incredibly intimidating.
"And if you knew Susannah, you would also know she hates it when people, and ghosts, interfere with her work." His eyes shot to mine. "As she made only too clear to me earlier this evening."
I gulped and looked down.
"How long have you been sat there, Jesse?" I asked tentatively. I had never seen him in this kind of mood before, it was scary and commanding.
His eyes pierced mine as I looked up at him.
"Long enough," was all he said. I felt guilty and dirty. As if I had just been caught cheating on my boyfriend. I think Sean felt the same.
"I'm-I'm going to go now. Good bye, Suze," Sean muttered before dematerialising.
Jesse and I sat in silence. He was looking at the wall behind my head and I was looking at his face.
It was emotionless. And hard.
Suddenly I couldn't bear it anymore.
"I'm sorry Jesse." I said in a quiet voice. Suddenly I felt so bad, so guilty. Sean made me realise what I put Jesse through, everyday. Every ghost I had to mediate. I choked down a sob. "I didn't know how hard it was for you, for me to be a mediator and you to just watch. I am sorry."
I physically felt Jesse's anger melt away. It was as if someone had poured hot water all over me, washing off the frost that had been clinging to my skin and heart.
"No, I'm sorry, querida. I was overreacting. It is your God-given duty to help these people. After I spoke with Father Dominic, I realised I was being overprotective. The Padre told me so. He told me you would be safer knowing I was with you, not against you. I don't want to distract you. I don't want to put you I any danger."
I stood up and walked over to Jesse.
When I reached him he enveloped me in his arms, and we stood for hours and an embrace so strong, it felt as though all the world could be shaking apart, and we would still stand there. Holding each other tightly.
"I love you, querida," Jesse whispered into my hair. Suddenly I felt thankful for all those years I've had to deal with my incumbent mediating. If I hadn't been given this job, I would never have met Jesse. I would never have fallen in love.
"I love you, Jesse."
I glanced at my clock while still wrapped up in Jesse's arms.
"Shit!" Well, I pretty much ruined the mood there. I ran over to my desk and searched it.
"Querida?" I felt Jesse come up behind me.
"I have a huge essay due in tomorrow and it's already tomorrow!"
I turned around and saw utter perplexity in Jesse eyes. I would've wanted to kiss his adorable face he looked so cute, if I didn't feel so daunted at the prospect of not having done my essay. I had already been told off three times for not doing my essays, one more time, they'd threatened, and I would be sent to Father D, have a letter sent to my parents (and mom is very strict when it comes to homework), and I would get God knows how many weeks of detention.
That wouldn't interfere in my ghost-busting duties much.
"Jesse, it's midnight! I have an essay due in today, and I haven't done it!"
"Oh," was all he said. I found my textbook, grabbed some paper, grabbed a pen, and started scribbling my opinions down. God knows what I wrote. I just wrote. I wrote for two hours...then fell asleep, jumbling half my work together with my drool.
No wonder Jesse can't resist me.
I woke up to Doc's incessant knocking at my door.
"Suze! Suze, hurry up, we're leaving!" I woke with a start and a slurred, "Mwurgh?" Then I saw my alarm clock and jumped up. Consequently knocking over my chair, hitting my hand hard on my wooden bed frame, and standing on something sharp.
A stream of curses followed by a sharp, "Susannah!" I didn't need to see who said that.
"Not now Jesse," I muttered as I ran into my bathroom to grab my toothbrush. After having secured a toothpasted toothbrush in my mouth, I ran back out of my bathroom with it still there. I grabbed some clothes from my drawer, and stripped off the clothes I had fallen asleep in.
"Susannah!" Screeched a rather shocked Jesse as I yanked off my jeans and T- shirt. I almost told him not to be such a prude, but almost choked on my toothbrush when I tried.
Once I was dressed, I snatched my schoolbag, my hairbrush and some essential make-up, threw my toothbrush out of my mouth, then ran downstairs. I jumped into the car just as it was pulling out of the drive. Dopey wasn't even going to stop if Doc hadn't bit him.
And then we were at the Academy.
And I realised, after all that late night work, I had forgotten my essay. To add to that, my stream of curses and vicious throw of my bag at the row of lockers meant a passing sister gave me a detention.
Perfect.
So I wasn't in the mood to be teased by Paul. Or Louisa – who had taken a sudden dislike to me.
Why could my life never be easy-going? Or, at least, normal?
What I didn't realise, was the extent Louisa's hatred towards me went.
I sat in homeroom, calmly applying my make-up, with CeeCee nattering on beside me in a hushed voice about ghosts, mediators, and the afterlife. Ever since she found out about my 'ghost thing', as she calls it, she hasn't stopped talking to me about how different religions had different versions of the afterlife.
Yeah, thanks CeeCee.
I was interrupted from my mascara application by a tap on my knee. I looked up from my mirror and saw an ever-vivacious Louisa standing over me.
"Can I talk to you?" She whispered, rather unnecessarily, I thought, seeing as no one except me could hear her.
Lucky me.
I nodded, gave myself one last appraising look in my mirror, told Cee I'd be right back, and then walked out into the breezeway.
I waited expectantly for Louisa to start. She looked quite tense.
"'Sup, Lulu?" I started after she just fidgeted awhile.
She scowled.
"It's Louisa. Not Lulu." I was about to bite back that I was Suze, not Susie, but I pursed my lips and waited patiently.
Alright, patiently enough for me. I admit; I did tap my foot rather viciously.
"I was just wondering, has...has Sean said anything to you?" I stood there baffled. "About me, I mean."
Ah. Comprehension dawned on me. I almost laughed out loud.
"Sorry, Louisa," I lied, "He hasn't mentioned you to me, at all."
Instead of disappointment flooding her features, how any normal person would react, she grew very, very angry. Her lips thinned dangerously and her hair seemed to go slightly static – as if her anger was making it stand out from her head...Her blue went black – I am not joking, you know in Finding Nemo, when Bruce the shark's eyes go from blue to black when he got hungry – and her whole body seemed to shake.
All because some guy she only just met doesn't like her?
That makes sense.
Not.
I put my arm out to rest it on her shoulder. She looked at me, and daggers flew from her eyes.
"I guess I should've known you'd try to steal him form me. Just like that bitch stole Harry from me. Well you won't get away with it. Sean's going to be mine. Not yours. And Paul's going to be mine too. And after him, Jesse. And you'll be left with no one. And I will have everyone."
Whoa, way to overreact, I thought as she dematerialised.
"And Paul isn't mine!" I yelled into the empty breezeway.
Then another thought struck me.
"And neither is Sean!" I yelled hurriedly.
Then I walked into back into homeroom.
At lunchtime, Paul came up to me.
"Suze, I need to talk to you. Now. Urgently. In private." He added, as CeeCee gave him and odd look, and Adam opened his mouth to object.
I yanked Paul's hand off my arm and followed him, quietly fermenting.
"What? What Paul?" Like I said, I wasn't in a happy mood today. And there was this one bit off hair that wouldn't stay in place. Seriously. It kept flicking out. It was so tempting jus to chop it off.
Paul grabbed my shoulders and he had an urgent look in his eyes as they searched mine.
"Suze, you have to stay away from Louisa. I'm not kidding. Just – stay away."
I stared at him with incredulity. What was this guy on? I shrugged his hands off my shoulders. They didn't come off. So I pulled them off with my hands...only to find he wouldn't let go of my hands.
"Why, exactly, would I want to be doing that? Apart from the fact she's annoying the hell outta me."
"Because she's going to kill you!"
And for a second, I almost believed him.
Almost.
"Yeah, whatever Paul. And all the dead people are going to climb out of their graves as zombies. Get real Paul."
"Did- did she seem angry with you? At all? For any reason?" He asked in a rush.
I just stared at him.
"Come on Suze, think! Please, it's important."
I sighed and rolled my eyes. My hands were getting sweaty from Paul gripping them so hard.
Then I remembered. How could I forget? It was only this morning that Louisa had kindly threatened to steal Jesse from me. And Sean and Paul.
Hmm.
"Alright alright," I snapped when Paul started shaking my hands roughly. "She did get in a bit of a tiff with me. Maybe if you paid more attention to her though, you know, you are so arrogant sometimes. You think, just because I'm so good looking and hot, I can treat girls like objects. Well, news just in Paul, you can't."
"You think I'm good looking?" He stated simply.
I blushed a little and looked down.
"Well, you know, you can't exactly say you're ugly..."
"And hot?"
OK, now I was a little peeved. Where had all the urgency gone?
"Paul, why are you asking all these questions?"
"Well, I think it'll help you reveal your true feelings to me, that you do actually like me. I mean, if you think-" I cut him off.
"No! Why were you asking questions about Louisa?" He seemed a little bit confused then realisation dawned on his face.
"Suze, you need to stay away from her. OK? Just, stay away. Or, better yet, stay near me. All day. Promise me, Suze?" He looked so desperate I almost agreed.
Almost.
"What? Are you out of your tiny little mind? Of course I'm not going to hang around with you all day! Wait a minute," a thought struck me suddenly, "What have you done with Jesse? Paul, I swear to God, if you have hurt him- "
"If you don't do as I say, you're the one who's going to get hurt, Suze!"
Was that a threat? Because, let me tell you, Suze Simon does not take well to threats.
"Right, Paul, I've had enough." I yanked my hands out of his, and stormed off.
That guy had some nerve. But, why was he acting so concerned about whether Louisa was angry with me or not? He acts all worried, and then threatens me?!
And I had missed lunch again because of him.
What I didn't realise was, that if I had listened to what he was trying to tell me, I would've realised he wasn't threatening me...he was trying to save my life...