"What was that about?" Buffy asked as soon as they were alone.
"What was what about?" Faith walked into her closet.
"The kiss."
"None of your business B." Faith replied from the closet now packing a few
things in her duffle bag.
"Look Faith the reason I came here..." Buffy started but Faith spoke before
she could finish.
"I heard the reason you came here looking for me B. I am used to my life
being interrupted whenever you and the high and mighty ones need an extra
hand. After all, how can the things in my life be more important than
saving the world?"
Buffy couldn't believe how wrong Faith was about her and her reasons.
"That is not true Faith. I have been looking for you since you left."
"I got that B, and you found me and we'll do the usual. Look I am taking a
shower, watch some tube if you feel bored." She replied nonchalantly as she
entered the bathroom.
Buffy just stared at the wall, unable to believe anything that was
happening. Not only was Faith unaware of her feelings, she obviously felt
nothing herself. She wasn't sure if Faith was acting like she didn't care
or if Faith truely didn't care.
Paige and Leo both returned almost at the same time. As soon as they were back, Phoebe got hold of Leo and charged. "Tell us everything you know about the whole slayer story and in detail no abridged version; especially about Buffy stabbing Faith." Seeing that the sisters were not asking him but telling him, Leo obeyed.
Faith walked into the shower and closed her eyes. Everything was finally falling into places and she was finally able to sleep at night without thinking of B, and now here she was once again face to face with her. She didn't want Buffy in her life; in fact she wanted her as far away from her as she could be. But, she had to come. She had to pretend to be her friend. Old friend she had told Phoebe, she wondered when they were ever friends. Whenever she had gone to Buffy, she was just shoved away, over and over like a stray dog, and then finally the knife inside of her. The water washed away her tears but not her pain as the night played on her head. Touching Buffy, hearing her call her name during her orgasm, Buffy actually telling her that she loved her. She laughed to herself and opened her eyes. Love, if Buffy had loved her she would not have tried to kill her, or at least regretted it. But, when she had gone to see Buffy, she was the same. No, Buffy didn't love her. She took a deep breath and composed herself. She had found a home here in San Francisco and she was not willing to let Buffy take that from her. If she was alive by the end of this ordeal, she was coming back. She promised herself that.
Buffy was amazed at Faith's apartment. She had never figured Faith to take care to decorate, but her place not just had things of necessities but it had furniture that was well placed. Buffy was not blind, she did realize that Piper and Faith did have something going on between them. She didn't know what it was, but she knew that she loved Faith and would not give up on her without a fight. Not this time she promised herself as she waited for Faith to come out of the shower.
Faith had made sure that she was fully dressed when she came out of the shower, yet when Buffy's eyes followed her out, she found herself being conscious. Even with all her protest to herself she had to admit that she enjoyed being the object of Buffy's admiration, like so many times that she had caught Buffy before, even when the slayer denied it. Yes, Buffy always denied it. Why had Buffy always denied her, she thought. Then she shook her head and reminded herself that she didn't care.
She let Buffy watch her as she combed her wet hair. When she turned around Buffy was right in front of her. She was so close for the second time in her life Faith could feel her breath on her skin. Faith knew she had to move, but she just found herself frozen.
Buffy held the younger woman's face on her hands and moved hers closer. Faith certainly didn't have the strength or the will power to move but she did possess enough control over herself not to close eyes or part her lips. She would not welcome her move. Realizing so Buffy transformed the intimacy into a hug. "I love you Faith and I know you know it. Due to some reason you don't trust my words, but I am not giving up on you. I love you too much to just let go." Buffy said, holding her tighter. Faith pushed her away as her rage took over. "Love, you want to talk about love with me. I know your love B right here on this scar, it reminds me every day of the love you have for me." She raised her hand to pause for any response Buffy had. "Before I was called for this godforsaken slayer thing, my body was a walking monument of proof of love from my so called parents or foster parents. I walked with scars of love all my life, till it healed physically because I was called upon, and I healed my heart myself. Then you walk in and I have a scar again. Once again it's proof of love. I don't think I need a love like that B. I am happy with no love. So, just spare me with your melodrama." Even though Buffy wanted to hear Faith's side of the story, she certainly was not willing to take her love being trashed with Faith's dark childhood. "Yes, Faith only you had the dark childhood. Only you had scars. How cheesy do you think my childhood was? Do you think having to be the chosen one over anything else made my life nifty?" "Look B I am not interested in your rich girl's poor story. The shit that it boils down to is, I was left for dead not you." Buffy punched the wall right in front of Faith's face stopping the younger woman from moving. "And you are not willing to listen to my reasoning for it." She said with agitation. Faith was certainly as angry as Buffy. "No, B I know the reasoning behind it. You were the good slayer, I was the dark slayer, one had to go down and I did. What doesn't fit into the picture is you loving me." She glared into Buffy's eyes and pushed her out of her way before Buffy could answer. "You think it was easy for me?" Buffy asked trying to understand where Faith's anger was coming from. "No, B it wasn't easy but it did happen." "You have to let me say it Faith." "B, don't you get it. It's not about the fact that you loved me or not. I knew that even before you said it. It certainly was not about the fact that whether or not you did the right thing, coz I can't argue that it wasn't the thing to do." "What is it about then Faith? If I was right, then why do I have to face rejection from you now?" "It's about the fact that you didn't once consider any alternative." Faith said softly. "Faith there was no alternative, you were with the Mayor. You had killed people. I had to stop you." Buffy moved closer as she felt that their words were closing the gap that had formed between them. "You are right; there was no alternative, to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But, B that night you came to my room. You didn't flinch even when I made you bleed. You were so sure you could have had me then, did Buffy the Vampire Slayer ever think that may be you could have had me any other time too?" Faith moved away one more time and this time Buffy was affixed to her place. "Why did you tell me you loved me that night B? Coz it was as convenient for you? It sure as hell was not convenient before, right? Well, sorry to make it inconvenient for you B, the Chosen One. But right now I am not interested. I'll certainly keep you in mind when it becomes convenient for me." Faith could see that her words were forming tears in Buffy's eyes so she turned away. Though her rage had done a great job by taking over and not letting her give in to Buffy, she was not sure she could hold herself against her tears. Damn it, she still could not cause the slayer any pain, without inflicting greater on herself. She shut her eyes and just grabbed the phone to take her mind off, while Buffy just let her tears roll down her cheeks as she felt the pain of Faith's words sink in. Buffy waited till Faith finished her call to her work before she spoke. "You are right even though I do claim to have not chosen to be the Chosen One, I have never considered an alternative either. May be that is because I have never known one. Ever since I could make my own decision on my dress choice I have been a slayer." "That is not my fault B." "That is not my fault either. That doesn't change the fact that I love you." All Buffy wanted to do was think about the present and not the past. "Yeah and when exactly did you realize that? When you were planning to kill me? When you stabbed me? Or when I was dying in coma? Or maybe B, you realized it when I was rotting in jail?" Buffy had prepared herself for the worst, but she hadn't expected to see Faith's bleeding heart, and more than that she certainly wasn't prepared admit that the blood was on her hands. Her heart weighed a ton with Faith's words, but she hadn't expected to
see Faith's raging pain, and more than that she certainly wasn't
prepared admit that the blood was on her hands. Her heart pulled her
down as she swallowed her tears and refused to feel guilty. "Hey I may be high school drop out. But, I know one thing B, you
don't love me." Faith finally said the words that she had waited six
months to say.
"And how do you know love?" Buffy asked, not knowing any other way
to defend herself.
"I know love B, because I am in love; the real deal."
Their eyes
locked on each other only to be interrupted by a bright light as
Paige and Piper orbed in front of them. Piper didn't even notice Buffy's swollen eyes that were staring at her; Faith, she was only interested in Faith who was now looking at
her.
"I thought you might be done." She said.
"Oh! We are done. Lets go."
Faith took Piper's hand and Piper immediately felt better.
Buffy watched the eldest Charmed One take Faith in her arms and place a kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes finally willing to take the truth in.
She let out a deep breath and opened her eyes, to catch the dark slayer still enticed in the kiss with the witch but her eyes staring at her.
---------------------------
Is used for thoughts.
Paige and Leo both returned almost at the same time. As soon as they were back, Phoebe got hold of Leo and charged. "Tell us everything you know about the whole slayer story and in detail no abridged version; especially about Buffy stabbing Faith." Seeing that the sisters were not asking him but telling him, Leo obeyed.
Faith walked into the shower and closed her eyes. Everything was finally falling into places and she was finally able to sleep at night without thinking of B, and now here she was once again face to face with her. She didn't want Buffy in her life; in fact she wanted her as far away from her as she could be. But, she had to come. She had to pretend to be her friend. Old friend she had told Phoebe, she wondered when they were ever friends. Whenever she had gone to Buffy, she was just shoved away, over and over like a stray dog, and then finally the knife inside of her. The water washed away her tears but not her pain as the night played on her head. Touching Buffy, hearing her call her name during her orgasm, Buffy actually telling her that she loved her. She laughed to herself and opened her eyes. Love, if Buffy had loved her she would not have tried to kill her, or at least regretted it. But, when she had gone to see Buffy, she was the same. No, Buffy didn't love her. She took a deep breath and composed herself. She had found a home here in San Francisco and she was not willing to let Buffy take that from her. If she was alive by the end of this ordeal, she was coming back. She promised herself that.
Buffy was amazed at Faith's apartment. She had never figured Faith to take care to decorate, but her place not just had things of necessities but it had furniture that was well placed. Buffy was not blind, she did realize that Piper and Faith did have something going on between them. She didn't know what it was, but she knew that she loved Faith and would not give up on her without a fight. Not this time she promised herself as she waited for Faith to come out of the shower.
Faith had made sure that she was fully dressed when she came out of the shower, yet when Buffy's eyes followed her out, she found herself being conscious. Even with all her protest to herself she had to admit that she enjoyed being the object of Buffy's admiration, like so many times that she had caught Buffy before, even when the slayer denied it. Yes, Buffy always denied it. Why had Buffy always denied her, she thought. Then she shook her head and reminded herself that she didn't care.
She let Buffy watch her as she combed her wet hair. When she turned around Buffy was right in front of her. She was so close for the second time in her life Faith could feel her breath on her skin. Faith knew she had to move, but she just found herself frozen.
Buffy held the younger woman's face on her hands and moved hers closer. Faith certainly didn't have the strength or the will power to move but she did possess enough control over herself not to close eyes or part her lips. She would not welcome her move. Realizing so Buffy transformed the intimacy into a hug. "I love you Faith and I know you know it. Due to some reason you don't trust my words, but I am not giving up on you. I love you too much to just let go." Buffy said, holding her tighter. Faith pushed her away as her rage took over. "Love, you want to talk about love with me. I know your love B right here on this scar, it reminds me every day of the love you have for me." She raised her hand to pause for any response Buffy had. "Before I was called for this godforsaken slayer thing, my body was a walking monument of proof of love from my so called parents or foster parents. I walked with scars of love all my life, till it healed physically because I was called upon, and I healed my heart myself. Then you walk in and I have a scar again. Once again it's proof of love. I don't think I need a love like that B. I am happy with no love. So, just spare me with your melodrama." Even though Buffy wanted to hear Faith's side of the story, she certainly was not willing to take her love being trashed with Faith's dark childhood. "Yes, Faith only you had the dark childhood. Only you had scars. How cheesy do you think my childhood was? Do you think having to be the chosen one over anything else made my life nifty?" "Look B I am not interested in your rich girl's poor story. The shit that it boils down to is, I was left for dead not you." Buffy punched the wall right in front of Faith's face stopping the younger woman from moving. "And you are not willing to listen to my reasoning for it." She said with agitation. Faith was certainly as angry as Buffy. "No, B I know the reasoning behind it. You were the good slayer, I was the dark slayer, one had to go down and I did. What doesn't fit into the picture is you loving me." She glared into Buffy's eyes and pushed her out of her way before Buffy could answer. "You think it was easy for me?" Buffy asked trying to understand where Faith's anger was coming from. "No, B it wasn't easy but it did happen." "You have to let me say it Faith." "B, don't you get it. It's not about the fact that you loved me or not. I knew that even before you said it. It certainly was not about the fact that whether or not you did the right thing, coz I can't argue that it wasn't the thing to do." "What is it about then Faith? If I was right, then why do I have to face rejection from you now?" "It's about the fact that you didn't once consider any alternative." Faith said softly. "Faith there was no alternative, you were with the Mayor. You had killed people. I had to stop you." Buffy moved closer as she felt that their words were closing the gap that had formed between them. "You are right; there was no alternative, to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But, B that night you came to my room. You didn't flinch even when I made you bleed. You were so sure you could have had me then, did Buffy the Vampire Slayer ever think that may be you could have had me any other time too?" Faith moved away one more time and this time Buffy was affixed to her place. "Why did you tell me you loved me that night B? Coz it was as convenient for you? It sure as hell was not convenient before, right? Well, sorry to make it inconvenient for you B, the Chosen One. But right now I am not interested. I'll certainly keep you in mind when it becomes convenient for me." Faith could see that her words were forming tears in Buffy's eyes so she turned away. Though her rage had done a great job by taking over and not letting her give in to Buffy, she was not sure she could hold herself against her tears. Damn it, she still could not cause the slayer any pain, without inflicting greater on herself. She shut her eyes and just grabbed the phone to take her mind off, while Buffy just let her tears roll down her cheeks as she felt the pain of Faith's words sink in. Buffy waited till Faith finished her call to her work before she spoke. "You are right even though I do claim to have not chosen to be the Chosen One, I have never considered an alternative either. May be that is because I have never known one. Ever since I could make my own decision on my dress choice I have been a slayer." "That is not my fault B." "That is not my fault either. That doesn't change the fact that I love you." All Buffy wanted to do was think about the present and not the past. "Yeah and when exactly did you realize that? When you were planning to kill me? When you stabbed me? Or when I was dying in coma? Or maybe B, you realized it when I was rotting in jail?" Buffy had prepared herself for the worst, but she hadn't expected to see Faith's bleeding heart, and more than that she certainly wasn't prepared admit that the blood was on her hands. Her heart weighed a ton with Faith's words, but she hadn't expected to
see Faith's raging pain, and more than that she certainly wasn't
prepared admit that the blood was on her hands. Her heart pulled her
down as she swallowed her tears and refused to feel guilty. "Hey I may be high school drop out. But, I know one thing B, you
don't love me." Faith finally said the words that she had waited six
months to say.
"And how do you know love?" Buffy asked, not knowing any other way
to defend herself.
"I know love B, because I am in love; the real deal."
Their eyes
locked on each other only to be interrupted by a bright light as
Paige and Piper orbed in front of them. Piper didn't even notice Buffy's swollen eyes that were staring at her; Faith, she was only interested in Faith who was now looking at
her.
"I thought you might be done." She said.
"Oh! We are done. Lets go."
Faith took Piper's hand and Piper immediately felt better.
Buffy watched the eldest Charmed One take Faith in her arms and place a kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes finally willing to take the truth in.
She let out a deep breath and opened her eyes, to catch the dark slayer still enticed in the kiss with the witch but her eyes staring at her.
---------------------------
Is used for thoughts.