Her eyes were focused but her thoughts were blank. Her hand automatically
moved back and landed on the face of the vampire behind her before he could
claim his hit. She flipped back and before her feet touched the ground she
staked the evil through the heart. She stood for a second and looked
around. Everything was silent, everything was still. She calmly walked
around gathering her weapons and putting them back to her weapons. Suddenly
a thought hit her. How many had she killed today? She tried to count from
the piles of dust everywhere, but it seemed impossible. Here she was merely
a girl if you thought about it, and her life had trained her so well that
now she had killed multiple so called bad guys at the same time, and she
couldn't even remember how many, or how she had done it. It had all been
like a long reflex. She gets attacked she killed, like a well oiled engine,
start and go; never thinking. She tried to remember if she was thinking
anything but she knew her mind was blank. She had stopped to think when she
was fighting. Tears formed in her eyes as Faith's words for the thousand's
time repeated on her head, "You never considered an alternative." And she
had not. She never considered anything. She was the good guy, anyone who
attacked her were bad guys, so killing was her only choice; even if it was
Faith. Oh God! She had done it. She had put the knife through her skin.
What was she thinking at that time, she tried to remember? "Oh God!" She
screamed and looked up, "I had to be thinking something, please tell me my
mind was not blank. I am not a machine; please tell me, God...." She hung
her head down as tears streamed out with the realization that her mind was
unfaithful to her. She lifted her tears soaked hands to cover her face as
she sobbed louder. Now, she realized what a nightmare it could have been
for Faith to watch her blank eyes as blood oozed out of her body. Her hands
had done it, and she wasn't even there to stop herself from stabbing her
own heart. Faith was right, Buffy was just a slayer. How would a slayer
know love, when she could stab her own heart and never even realize its
pain?
She sobbed alone for what seemed like hours before she finally got up. She
ran, faster and faster and stopped. She stared at her mother's grave. She
touched the words on the stone as she remembered her mother's words, "You
might be a slayer Buffy, but you are my daughter first." Yes, she was not
just a slayer, she was a daughter. She had loved her mom. But, she had lost
her and she had not cried. Why hadn't she cried on her own mother's death,
she asked herself? She had to be strong for Dawn, that's why she didn't
cry. There were other emotions than just slayer instincts within her. She
was her mom's daughter, she was Dawn's sister, she was best friends to
Willow and Xander, and she was like a daughter to Giles. Definitely she was
more than just a slayer to them. Those people who had fought side by side
with her; they knew her. They loved her. They knew she was not just a
slayer, she was Buffy. If they knew it, then definitely she could be a
lover to Faith too. She wiped off her tears and a new sense of peace formed
in her heart for the first time since her mom's death she decided to talk
to her mom.
"You are right mom. I am Buffy first and I'll show it to Faith that slayer
is not all I am. If I have friends and family who know me for more than
just a slayer then, all I have to do is let Faith know that too. I know
that she loves me. And I really love her. Thank you for showing me the way.
I love you mom."
----------------
"She is going to kill you." Piper tried to warn Faith. "Perfect, I know you are saying this because you want to protect me but she won't kill me." Faith replied trying to mock Piper's words. "Why not? She did it before." Piper wasn't willing to let it go. "Yeah, I know. But I am pitching for the good guys now." Faith said trying to calm Piper's concern. "Faith listen, I don't know if you realized this but Buffy was raised from dead." "I know babe, she is the slayer that rose from the dead. Why do you think they call her the Chosen One?" "But, don't you get it Faith, she is not." Faith paused. "What do you mean?" She asked. "When Buffy had died, no other slayer was called for. If there was then there would have been three slayers." "Yeah but that's because Buffy had already died for few minutes before at which time the other slayer was called." "My point exactly and when that slayer died, you were called. Now for any of these potentials to be called it's not Buffy who has to die, it is you."
Faith finally did get what Piper was concerned about. Even though Piper did make sense, Faith didn't want to acknowledge the fact that Buffy might be thinking of killing her once again. She had told her that she loved her why would she want her dead. No, it couldn't be. She refused to believe that Buffy wanted her dead. "Faith, please don't fight common sense, please listen to me." It hurt Piper to see her lover in turmoil.
Piper took a moment to see if Faith would move, then she went to get the door. It was Giles, Willow and Xander. "Hey." Willow spoke first, "I hope we are not interrupting but we wanted to talk to you and your sisters, or you and Paige since Phoebe has gone to Magic Box with Tara." "Sure come in." Piper let the gang inside. "What's up Red?" Faith asked as they walked in. "Oh! Faith, are you back from the patrol already?" It was Giles who spoke. "Yeah, it was a slow night. Not many patrons showed up. Looks to me like, blondie has done a good job of scaring them away." Faith replied. "Oh! Good." Giles briefly said as he turned to Piper. "Last night, the demon that Willow and Tara faced was the same one that you all vanquished couple of years ago?" He asked Piper. "Yes, like we told you before, that's why we remembered the spell and vanquished it." Piper answered as matter of fact. "Yes, I gathered that much. Then I was thinking, that if the First is summoning even the vanquished demons or the ones that can be summoned at least, I think it would be wise for you guys to load yourself with as much of your spells that you have used just in case." He waited for a response. "That certainly sounds like a good idea, Mr. G." Faith liked it when the Scoobies considered her new friends an asset. Faith felt like the Charmed Ones' achievements were her own. She looked at Piper to get her reaction. "Yeah, right." Piper said slowly, not trusting that Giles didn't have something else up his sleeves. "We could orb home and make some notes from the book of shadows. It's almost day time so Faith could come with us." Piper rolled her eyes looking at everyone, to make sure that she caught everyone's expression. It was Willow who seemed to be not ok, with her suggestion. "Yeah, that is good. You should do that. Orb there. Good. But, Faith might want to stay behind to train the potentials and all. They will be up soon." Willow said the sentence in almost a normal speed but to her it seemed like it took forever to finish. After all, she was not just watched by Faith, who always managed to make her nervous, but Piper's looks were as damaging as the dark slayers. "That's cool." Faith agreed and turned to Piper. "Perfect, you should go. Let me do my thing here and you do your thing huh." Piper certainly didn't like the idea at all, as she could feel that the air didn't smell right with Faith's former so called friends, but she didn't want to argue with Faith, especially when she could feel that Faith was trying to please everyone and she certainly didn't want to be difficult. Phone rang just in time to save Piper from saying anything in protest. Willow walked out to the hallway to get the phone while Piper walked to the door to the adjoining room to wake Paige up.
Within few minutes Piper and Paige were out of Sunnydale, Willow had to go to Bronze to pick up Kenedy, one of the potentials and Faith walked up to the bed hoping the two remaining men would walk out but they stayed put. Faith jumped on the bed and faced the men who now were refusing to look at her on purpose. "You got more things to share with me?" Faith asked finally. "Ahhh. Well. Me. No. Yes. It's just that we just thought that now that its dawn you might want to go and check up on Spike in the school's basement. Just to know if he has been visited by the First and get update." Xander's nervousness made Faith suspicious about what was going on. She glared at him and got out of the bed intending to grill him but Giles stopped her intention. "No, that's ok, we can wait for Buffy to come, and then we can send her to see Spike." "B is not back yet?" Faith asked now concerned. "No, not yet. She must not have been as lucky as you were. But, you sleep; Buffy can go when she comes back." Giles said now cleaning his glasses. "That's fine, I'll go. Let her rest when she comes back." She walked to the chair, grabbed her jacket and left, while Giles and Xander just stared at each other.
(Couple of hours earlier in the Summer resident's living room.)
"You can't possibly suggest what I think you are suggesting right?" Tara asked shocked at the ex-watcher. "I am afraid I am." Giles had said. "Tara, this is no time to be emotional. We have an evil that is stronger than we or anyone has ever encountered, and its time we made sure that our defense is flawless and ready." "That is exactly the reason why all of us are ready and the ones who are not ready, we are training. I mean we even have outside help, I think we are very aware of the powers of the First." Willow tried to put weight to her lover's reasoning. "Yes, I can see that." Giles did not want to be the bad guy with these young people who had fought for good almost all their lives, but he knew that what had to be done had to be done. "But you have to understand how First operates. It lures you with evil, tries to break you from the inside. All of us have inner demons but the one that cannot fight their demon is the weakest. It's not something we can take a chance on right now." How about "what makes you think these girls are up to the challenge?" Xander asked still not convinced with Giles. "We don't but at least they all are willing to accept their fate not hate it. They all have seen their watchers die, and they have come here to avenge their deaths, we certainly can channel that anger towards the First and have them be immune to his mind games." Giles told the group. "Giles my man, I don't think you have been updated with the latest here." Xander said, "Things have changed since you've been gone. People have changed sides and now we are all on one side." "But we can't take any chances if the temptation wins. We cannot loose our biggest weapon because the person is too weak to get lured into evil." Giles retorted.
Just then they heard footsteps walking down and the room fell silent. "Hiya all." Phoebe waved at the group as she entered. "I am sorry to disturb but I saw the light on and I thought you might be awake." "Oh! Don't worry, we were awake." Tara told the young witch. "It's just that yesterday I was trying to make this potion and I just couldn't remember one of the ingredients, and all of a sudden in my sleep I remembered it and felt this urge to come down and make it. But, seeing that you all are busy I am going to go back to sleep." Phoebe was retracting her steps backwards realizing she was certainly not welcome in their cozy meeting. "That's ok. Let me help you with it. But, we don't really have much stuff out here, we usually conjure potions in the Magic Box, if you want I can go with you, unless you want to wait till the morning." Tara asked as she really didn't want to hear what Giles had been saying. "Sweetie its middle of the night, it's not safe for you to go out." Willow said before Phoebe could answer. "I know, but Magic Box is only a little walk and we are both are witches we can protect ourselves. That is only if you want to go?" She looked at Phoebe and asked again. "Sure, since I cant sleep and although dangerous, it looks like a pretty night for a walk." Phoebe replied unsure of why she was all of a sudden excited about the little trip. Willow walked to the door with them when Tara turned to her girlfriend and held her hand to her heart and asked "Baby do not let Giles get his way, he is not right, you know that, right?" "I know baby," Willow replied. "You have to promise me not to. Think about Buffy. Please promise me you won't let him do that." Tara insisted again. "Yes, baby I promise." Willow said and sealed her promise with a kiss. Tara smiled and walked away. Back in the living room Giles was waiting for Willow all prepared with his another long lecture or explanation as he put it. "No, Giles even before you start, Tara is right if nothing else we have to think about Buffy she would never agree to it, no matter how right it may seem. You have to understand you didn't see her for the past few months, we did and I know she would not understand." Willow said. "Wait a minute, do we know the same Buffy here." Anya addressed as though she was the only smart person in the room. "For Christ's sake, Buffy is a slayer and she always has been. When it comes to right and wrong she chooses the right no matter what. She is the one who killed Angel even after your spell had worked and Angel had got his soul back. Why? Because she is a slayer. She is the one who stabbed Faith, she didn't even once try talking to her; she just went right ahead and tried to kill her. She was willing to kill me and you when I turned into Vengeance Monster and you went overboard with your magic. So, I don't think we need to sit here and waste time about if Buffy will get hurt. She doesn't get hurt when you do the right thing. So, the question is, is Giles right?" She finished and looked around, proud of the impact she caused. No body spoke for a while and Giles knew the reason why. No one wanted to admit that he was right, so he spoke the words that everyone agreed but didn't want to dare. "Faith has to die."
----------------
"She is going to kill you." Piper tried to warn Faith. "Perfect, I know you are saying this because you want to protect me but she won't kill me." Faith replied trying to mock Piper's words. "Why not? She did it before." Piper wasn't willing to let it go. "Yeah, I know. But I am pitching for the good guys now." Faith said trying to calm Piper's concern. "Faith listen, I don't know if you realized this but Buffy was raised from dead." "I know babe, she is the slayer that rose from the dead. Why do you think they call her the Chosen One?" "But, don't you get it Faith, she is not." Faith paused. "What do you mean?" She asked. "When Buffy had died, no other slayer was called for. If there was then there would have been three slayers." "Yeah but that's because Buffy had already died for few minutes before at which time the other slayer was called." "My point exactly and when that slayer died, you were called. Now for any of these potentials to be called it's not Buffy who has to die, it is you."
Faith finally did get what Piper was concerned about. Even though Piper did make sense, Faith didn't want to acknowledge the fact that Buffy might be thinking of killing her once again. She had told her that she loved her why would she want her dead. No, it couldn't be. She refused to believe that Buffy wanted her dead. "Faith, please don't fight common sense, please listen to me." It hurt Piper to see her lover in turmoil.
Piper took a moment to see if Faith would move, then she went to get the door. It was Giles, Willow and Xander. "Hey." Willow spoke first, "I hope we are not interrupting but we wanted to talk to you and your sisters, or you and Paige since Phoebe has gone to Magic Box with Tara." "Sure come in." Piper let the gang inside. "What's up Red?" Faith asked as they walked in. "Oh! Faith, are you back from the patrol already?" It was Giles who spoke. "Yeah, it was a slow night. Not many patrons showed up. Looks to me like, blondie has done a good job of scaring them away." Faith replied. "Oh! Good." Giles briefly said as he turned to Piper. "Last night, the demon that Willow and Tara faced was the same one that you all vanquished couple of years ago?" He asked Piper. "Yes, like we told you before, that's why we remembered the spell and vanquished it." Piper answered as matter of fact. "Yes, I gathered that much. Then I was thinking, that if the First is summoning even the vanquished demons or the ones that can be summoned at least, I think it would be wise for you guys to load yourself with as much of your spells that you have used just in case." He waited for a response. "That certainly sounds like a good idea, Mr. G." Faith liked it when the Scoobies considered her new friends an asset. Faith felt like the Charmed Ones' achievements were her own. She looked at Piper to get her reaction. "Yeah, right." Piper said slowly, not trusting that Giles didn't have something else up his sleeves. "We could orb home and make some notes from the book of shadows. It's almost day time so Faith could come with us." Piper rolled her eyes looking at everyone, to make sure that she caught everyone's expression. It was Willow who seemed to be not ok, with her suggestion. "Yeah, that is good. You should do that. Orb there. Good. But, Faith might want to stay behind to train the potentials and all. They will be up soon." Willow said the sentence in almost a normal speed but to her it seemed like it took forever to finish. After all, she was not just watched by Faith, who always managed to make her nervous, but Piper's looks were as damaging as the dark slayers. "That's cool." Faith agreed and turned to Piper. "Perfect, you should go. Let me do my thing here and you do your thing huh." Piper certainly didn't like the idea at all, as she could feel that the air didn't smell right with Faith's former so called friends, but she didn't want to argue with Faith, especially when she could feel that Faith was trying to please everyone and she certainly didn't want to be difficult. Phone rang just in time to save Piper from saying anything in protest. Willow walked out to the hallway to get the phone while Piper walked to the door to the adjoining room to wake Paige up.
Within few minutes Piper and Paige were out of Sunnydale, Willow had to go to Bronze to pick up Kenedy, one of the potentials and Faith walked up to the bed hoping the two remaining men would walk out but they stayed put. Faith jumped on the bed and faced the men who now were refusing to look at her on purpose. "You got more things to share with me?" Faith asked finally. "Ahhh. Well. Me. No. Yes. It's just that we just thought that now that its dawn you might want to go and check up on Spike in the school's basement. Just to know if he has been visited by the First and get update." Xander's nervousness made Faith suspicious about what was going on. She glared at him and got out of the bed intending to grill him but Giles stopped her intention. "No, that's ok, we can wait for Buffy to come, and then we can send her to see Spike." "B is not back yet?" Faith asked now concerned. "No, not yet. She must not have been as lucky as you were. But, you sleep; Buffy can go when she comes back." Giles said now cleaning his glasses. "That's fine, I'll go. Let her rest when she comes back." She walked to the chair, grabbed her jacket and left, while Giles and Xander just stared at each other.
(Couple of hours earlier in the Summer resident's living room.)
"You can't possibly suggest what I think you are suggesting right?" Tara asked shocked at the ex-watcher. "I am afraid I am." Giles had said. "Tara, this is no time to be emotional. We have an evil that is stronger than we or anyone has ever encountered, and its time we made sure that our defense is flawless and ready." "That is exactly the reason why all of us are ready and the ones who are not ready, we are training. I mean we even have outside help, I think we are very aware of the powers of the First." Willow tried to put weight to her lover's reasoning. "Yes, I can see that." Giles did not want to be the bad guy with these young people who had fought for good almost all their lives, but he knew that what had to be done had to be done. "But you have to understand how First operates. It lures you with evil, tries to break you from the inside. All of us have inner demons but the one that cannot fight their demon is the weakest. It's not something we can take a chance on right now." How about "what makes you think these girls are up to the challenge?" Xander asked still not convinced with Giles. "We don't but at least they all are willing to accept their fate not hate it. They all have seen their watchers die, and they have come here to avenge their deaths, we certainly can channel that anger towards the First and have them be immune to his mind games." Giles told the group. "Giles my man, I don't think you have been updated with the latest here." Xander said, "Things have changed since you've been gone. People have changed sides and now we are all on one side." "But we can't take any chances if the temptation wins. We cannot loose our biggest weapon because the person is too weak to get lured into evil." Giles retorted.
Just then they heard footsteps walking down and the room fell silent. "Hiya all." Phoebe waved at the group as she entered. "I am sorry to disturb but I saw the light on and I thought you might be awake." "Oh! Don't worry, we were awake." Tara told the young witch. "It's just that yesterday I was trying to make this potion and I just couldn't remember one of the ingredients, and all of a sudden in my sleep I remembered it and felt this urge to come down and make it. But, seeing that you all are busy I am going to go back to sleep." Phoebe was retracting her steps backwards realizing she was certainly not welcome in their cozy meeting. "That's ok. Let me help you with it. But, we don't really have much stuff out here, we usually conjure potions in the Magic Box, if you want I can go with you, unless you want to wait till the morning." Tara asked as she really didn't want to hear what Giles had been saying. "Sweetie its middle of the night, it's not safe for you to go out." Willow said before Phoebe could answer. "I know, but Magic Box is only a little walk and we are both are witches we can protect ourselves. That is only if you want to go?" She looked at Phoebe and asked again. "Sure, since I cant sleep and although dangerous, it looks like a pretty night for a walk." Phoebe replied unsure of why she was all of a sudden excited about the little trip. Willow walked to the door with them when Tara turned to her girlfriend and held her hand to her heart and asked "Baby do not let Giles get his way, he is not right, you know that, right?" "I know baby," Willow replied. "You have to promise me not to. Think about Buffy. Please promise me you won't let him do that." Tara insisted again. "Yes, baby I promise." Willow said and sealed her promise with a kiss. Tara smiled and walked away. Back in the living room Giles was waiting for Willow all prepared with his another long lecture or explanation as he put it. "No, Giles even before you start, Tara is right if nothing else we have to think about Buffy she would never agree to it, no matter how right it may seem. You have to understand you didn't see her for the past few months, we did and I know she would not understand." Willow said. "Wait a minute, do we know the same Buffy here." Anya addressed as though she was the only smart person in the room. "For Christ's sake, Buffy is a slayer and she always has been. When it comes to right and wrong she chooses the right no matter what. She is the one who killed Angel even after your spell had worked and Angel had got his soul back. Why? Because she is a slayer. She is the one who stabbed Faith, she didn't even once try talking to her; she just went right ahead and tried to kill her. She was willing to kill me and you when I turned into Vengeance Monster and you went overboard with your magic. So, I don't think we need to sit here and waste time about if Buffy will get hurt. She doesn't get hurt when you do the right thing. So, the question is, is Giles right?" She finished and looked around, proud of the impact she caused. No body spoke for a while and Giles knew the reason why. No one wanted to admit that he was right, so he spoke the words that everyone agreed but didn't want to dare. "Faith has to die."