DISCLAIMER: (See Prologue)

SHOUTOUTS:
m-e lee12 - wow. i finally get around to the next chapters. great what exemption hours get ya, ain't it? anyroad...procrastinating is definitely how I spent my entire finals week. so don't feel bad, shithead. and yes, you COULD call me those other things.... but we all know fudgehead is so much better.
Brownie/Melody - looks confuzzled what's illegal? drawing anthro art? it's not like I'm screwing a picture, okay!! GRINS WAAAY TOOO BADLY yeah... ummm disregard that look. i was definitely playing poker on the bus. I'm waay proud of myself, too... but I have a shit poker face (that really just got pulled out of my ass, but hey)
Thumbsucker Snitch - le sigh lol I'd love ta give ya what'cha want.... but... well... you'll just have to see! but much thanks, i love reviews...
Strawberri Shake - hmmm.... perhaps. we will have to wait on pairings. and yesh, i am very ssad to have killed specs. but it's all part of the plan, you see (Specs: I'm not dead yet!) Yes you are! (I think I'm getting better!) Oh no you aren't, you'll be dead soon... (I feel happy!) hits over head w/ club

roight-o, now on with the show!!
oh yesh, and I think these chapters are shorter... but I'm not sure. shrugs blondely

Walking With Captain Trips

Chapter Three

The trip upstairs was hell. I mean, I expected it t be, but that doesn't really prepare you for that moment when the lights flicker on again and a rat the size of your shoe is tear the old lady next door's eyes out.

"Oh Jesus!" I had yelled, and dropped my keys when I jumped, and the lights died again. Dutchy had just stood there in terrified, dumb silence. No tears, no anything really. He's still like that. Think he's in shock.

Once again, I had to scrabble with a dead creature, this time for my keys. My fingers barely brushed the black-haired kid's skin, but my stomach had lurched dangerously and I turned away quickly and nearly broke my door in pushing it open, pulling Dutchy roughly inside after me.

Which leaves us where we are now. Me, standing panting against a locked door and Dutchy standing stiffly and staring at the wall. I dragged myself over to a chair in my tiny, cramped kitchen and slumped down, laying my head on the table. Distantly, I heard Dutchy finally come around, saying awkwardly, "So... this's your apartment..." He sounded muffled, but it was probably my roaring ears and me trying not to pass out.

"Yeah..." I glanced around at the sparsely furnished space. "I'd offer a drink, but..."

"You're out, too?"

I just nodded and he stared off into space for awhile. I had almost convinced myself to doze off and forget it all when he next spoke.

"D'you think dere's others out there?"

Blink. Lift my head. "What?"

Dutchy... or Ivan... or Ive- screw it, he's Dutchy now. Always had been, I'd just forgotten it... he'd come closer now and he's fidgeting slightly. He knows how much I hate that kind of optimism. But this wasn't optimism, it was desperation.

"I mean... you're alive... and I'm alive... and there... dere could be other people, too..." I stared blankly at him. "I mean, I just thought..."

"Whatt're you suggestin'?"

He sat down across from me, and dropped his pale blue eyes to the table then brought them back up to mine. "I'm not... I'm just... whatt'f there are?"

"Then there are."

He suddenly reached out and grabbed my shoulders and I shrank back from him out of surprise. "Well we gotta find 'em, then!!"

"I'm not swimming through all those fucking disgusting dead things again!!"

He stare at me a moment, eyes behind his glasses bulging, then shook me roughly. "Don't talk about them like that!" the blonde crazy that had replaced my friend yelled, then slumped over, sobbing wildly. "They're people! People! Specs was a PERSON!!" he cried, his voice rising rapidly then cracking in his despair. "You don't even get it! You don't understand!! You weren't there... with him! You locked yourself away in heah 'cause... 'cause... 'cause yoah too fucking scared!!" He released me, shoving me back, burying his head in his arms on the table and bawling. It was pathetic, and I was sorry... but he had touched a nerve.

I jerked up from my chair and it fell over with a scraping sound and a clatter, and I yelled at him, "I'm not!! I'm not scared!!"

Dutchy didn't answer, he was too busy mourning. I made a growling noise at him in my throat and stormed out of the kitchen to the front door. Slamming it behind me, this time I made it all the way down the stairs and out the lobby doors before my horror caught up with me. I hoped Dutchy hadn't gone after me... or left entirely. How great would that be to have the only other person left in the world angry at you? Angry... hell, he was probably jumping out of a window about now. Great job, Skittery.

And now, leaning against the outside of the Dakota building in the heat of the dreary gray July drizzle, I realized he had been right. More than right. I was scared, and not just scared.

I was more terrified than I had ever been in my entire life. Scared shitless. Terrified, even though I'd always insistently kept my distance.

Terrified of being alone.